Bad News Tim
We've been married for 45+ years and for the past several years we've been sleeping separately. It's called 'sleep divorce' because of some circumstance; in our case I snore loudly enough to wake myself at times. I've been a stay-at-home dad since our 2 kids were in elementary school. They are both grown and we have 3 wonderful grandchildren! I left my job as my vision deteriorated to the point I could no longer read 'normal' sized print such as 12-point Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, you get the idea. Corrective lenses weren't an option as they had been prescribed while I was in high school and they only caused massive headaches. Headaches similar to a migraine in that light and sound were an issue. I'd lie in a dark room with a cold compress on my forehead after taking aspirin, this was in the late '60s.
In college I waded through everything and got a BA. Then I got a job and worked at that. I met Ang (Angelica) when she was a freshman and I was a junior. I have to admit as a horny 19 year old I was very attracted to the chest Ang was pushing around. We dated for the 3 years I was still on-campus since I had managed to change majors often enough to require a 5
th
year to gain the credits I needed to graduate.
We got engaged during 1
st
semester of her junior year and wedding plans started. After I graduated I found a job about 30 miles from school and we saw each other as often as possible but since I didn't drive it averaged out to about every 3 weekends. Angelica worked during the holiday season at a Toys RUs near her parent's home which was about 110 miles from the 2-bedroom apartment I had rented near work. Her senor year was tough on us but we made it through.
We got married, honey-mooned in Pennsylvania's Pocono Mountains which was the honey-moon capital of the East back then. After the wedding we blended our lives and things were good. We had a son at 2 1/2 years after the wedding and a daughter 21 months after that. Ang had medical issues with both pregnancies so she had her tubes tied to avoid any more chances of life-threatening pregnancies.
My vision deteriorated even more and we made the decision for Ang to go to work full-time and I'd take over the child-care/home-care duties. Really this was just relieving me of the stress of work since I'd do a lot of the house cleaning anyway. We had agreed Ang's primary concern was the education and raising of the kids. I actually enjoyed the house cleaning. I had been raised in a single parent home for quite a while and my father was a bit of a stickler about cleaning and doing everything around the house.
So Angelica went looking for a teaching job but she wasn't able to find one. She had had a close chance until the son of a town council member got the position. Ang went to work in what else: retail. She knew quite a bit about it from working at Toys while in college and it was something she could flow right into. She started in women's clothes and lasted a couple years there but she wanted to make more money so she moved to hard goods because she had said the pay was better.
She went to a drugstore chain and spent several years there becoming a store manager. She left there to go to a party goods store which she was very successful there. She had even been moved into the corporate offices because she had done a stellar job and the owner rewarded her with a 9-5 job. That improved our home life since the hours were far more consistent. We traveled on weekends to see family or friends. She traveled occasionally for work, usually a week at a time but that was only twice a year for meetings in Florida. Week-long trips increased as she went away to organize new store openings. These openings were 3 or 4 times a year. That had pushed her travel to 5 or 6 weeks per year. That job ended when she said they wanted to move her into a position she'd find mind-numbingly boring.
She went to a department store as a department manager and stayed there until we moved to be closer to our daughter and her kids. By then Ang was nearing 60 and she was talking retirement. She lasted until she was 64 and she told me she had had enough. She's been retired for almost 3 years now and things are better. She smiles a lot more than she use to and I try to make her laugh with some pun or joke as often as I can. Life has gotten better since she retired.
That's our history in a nutshell. Of course there are a lot of details which aren't germane to the story so we don't need them. Suffice to say we had our ups and downs and there had been pressures which we managed to get through with as little effect on the kids as possible. It had been a long 45 year marriage and I had considered leaving it a few times but once the kids were out of the house it was just easier to go along to get along, inertia I think that is what its called.
# # # #
This morning I woke from a dream, no a nightmare. In the dream I walked into Ang's bedroom, knelt down next to her and laid my head on her left arm. She woke up and asked, "Is everything okay honey?"
"I don't know Ang because you are keeping secrets from me. You've been keeping secrets throughout our marriage and it's time to hash it all out."
"Why are you telling me this at 6AM Tim?"
"Because it has been 45+ years of married life, plus the 3+ years we made love before the wedding. I think it is time you told me the truth."
"What are you talking about?"
"I KNOW you've had lovers over the years. I don't know how many but you always came home to me and you always made me feel like the center of your world, even more so than the kids but I need to know the truth now Angelica." She had taken a deep breath and held it while I made that statement and now she let it out as a long sigh.
"You're right Tim. You have been and always will be the center of my world and I love you so much. But over the years I have needed attention that you weren't giving me at times and there were some men who were.... convenient for periods of time that filled the void." I let out a sigh and Ang continued. "None of them were at all important to me but they filled the need when you weren't."
I looked into her eyes and saw tears. "Honey, I'm sorry but I needed some attention and you weren't there at the time but I always made you the center of my world whenever it was over."
