Me: Driving still?
Her: Still awhile to go.
Me: So your kid had to miss school today.
Her: Yeah, all the events were yesterday. And it's too long a drive to make. So it's Monday on the interstate.
Me: I'm sorry.
Her: Thanks.
Me: Send me a pic of a body part. Anything. A knee. Just put me there.
Her: Still driving
Me: You are driving? Or X?
Her: He has a name you know.
Me: Not to me.
Me: He's just the guy who houses you while you think about fucking me.
Me: Again.
Her: Sigh.
Me: So who's driving?
Her: X
Me: Ok, send me a pic.
Me: I know you can be smooth about it.
*You have received a picture*
Me: Wow. You outdid yourself. A+++!
Me: Those tits look great in that sweater.
Cold weather favors you.
Her: When you are an Irish redhead it's the only good season.
Me: In other news Notre Dame Cathedral is burning.
Her: Yes. I find myself thinking that while I realize it's a significant development, I didn't know it was this important to everyone I know on FB.
Me: People always act like these things affect them personally.
Her: Exactly. Wtf people. Go back to your TPS reports and stop faking relevancy.
*You have received a picture*
Her: WHY?
Me: What? Dresses on Instagram? You don't like those?
Me: What's wrong with them?
Her: They look like they were patched together from Willy Nelson's used dew rag collection.
Me: I sent links to the wife. She is thinking of buying one. Looks very European.
Her: If Willy is from Europe, sure.
Me: Those look Italian countryside.
Her: Well, you would know. Not me. Not us.
Me: You guys should travel more.
Her: Not our thing. Crowds. Heat. Ick.
Me: You can take the girl out of the trailer park...
Her: Stop it. Be nice.
Me: Ok.
Me: So. About your tits.
Her: Here's another one!
*You have received a picture*
Me: Meh.
Her: You don't like them now? You just said you did?
Me: You've ruined those dresses with your Willie comments.
Her: hahahaha
Me: Getting back to your breasts...
Her: Still in car...
Me: Yes. I just wanted to discuss them.
Her: Ohhhh. Okay. Well they are still here, perched on my chest.
Me: Wish I was in the seat behind you. Friends on a drive.
Me: I'd blow on your neck.