Awaenings

This story is the twenty-first episode in a series entitled "Awakenings". If you have not read the previous twenty episodes of this series, I encourage you do so before beginning this chapter.

I remind you again that I write cuckold stories. While I try to make them loving cuckold stories, they do depict an alternative life style. If you're offended or upset by stories about sexual attitudes and behaviors that are different from your own I strongly suggest that you find something else to read.

*****

It was a little after ten when Jeanne called. That meant it was a little after eleven for her. During the previous hour I'd started to get nervous because it was getting so late. I was concerned that Jeanne might have encountered some sort of difficulty. Amy and Mel kept reassuring me. They both maintained that Jeanne was most likely having a good time and wanted to prolong the evening. Rationally I knew they were correct, but I couldn't help myself. I was still anxious. I had the same problem when my daughters started dating.

When the telephone finally did ring Amy, Mel and I all smiled at each other and then Mel answered it. "Hello." The speaker was already on.

"Hi Mel, is everyone there?"

Amy said, "We're all here Jeanne."

"Michael, I'm sorry it's so late. I lost track of the time."

"That's okay."

Amy said, "He was worried."

"I'm sure he was. You should have seen him while Tricia was out on her first date."

Giggling, Mel said, "I'll bet he was a basket case."

"He was."

Amy said, "You must have had a good time tonight."

There was a pause and then in a subdued voice Jeanne answered, "I did."

I immediately noticed Jeanne's reticence. I glanced at Amy and Mel. They both looked puzzled. They'd noticed it too.

I said, "Jeanne, I sense there's something wrong. Did something bad happen tonight?"

"No Michael, everything was fine. I'm just tired."

"Jeanne we've been married for twenty-seven years. We know each other. You can tell when something is bothering me and I can tell when something is bothering you. Right now it's clear to me there's something bothering you."

"Sweetheart I'm afraid you'll misunderstand."

"Total honesty Jeanne, that's the only way we're going to be able to make this work."

"I know but..."

Amy gently asked, "Jeanne did you meet a really handsome man tonight?"

Reluctantly Jeanne admitted, "I did." And then she quickly added. "Michael, you don't need to worry, you really don't. It's still just sex. You're the only man I'll ever love and you'll still always be my favorite lover."

Mel placed her hand on my thigh. I looked at her. She smiled and said, "Michael, the fact that Jeanne's concerned about your feelings is proof that she loves you."

"I do Michael, I really do. I'll always love you."

I said, "Don't worry Jeanne, I know that. Tell us about the man you met tonight."

"Okay, his name was Jerry Clay" Jeanne's voice was still subdued.

Amy asked, "Where does he live? I assume he was in town for the trade show."

"Yes he was. He's from St. Louis. He's an engineer for a company that makes steel girders for bridges and large buildings."

Mel said, "He sounds interesting."

Starting to relax, Jeanne answered, "He was very interesting."

"How old is he?"

"47"

"Two years younger than you and Michael."

"That's right."

I understood and appreciated what Amy and Mel were doing. By asking easy questions about this man they were giving both Jeanne and me an opportunity to relax and get used to talking about him. I made a mental note to remember to do this whenever Jeanne returned home from a date with a new man.

Amy asked, "Is he married?"

"Yes."

"Does he have kids?"

"He has a boy and a girl. His daughter is a sophomore in college. His son is a senior in high school."

"So he's not interested in any kind of ongoing relationship."

"No he's just like me. He occasionally enjoys a little fun on the side, but that's all he wants."

Mel said, "You mentioned that he's handsome. Is he tall?"

"Yes, He told me he's six foot five."

"That is tall, is he fit?"

"He played small college basketball. He still plays in a league at the YMCA twice a week and he told me he runs three miles every morning."

"So he was lean and handsome."

"Yes he was."

Mel and Amy's questions were having their desired effect. I was relaxing and regaining my self confidence while Jeanne was becoming increasingly straightforward about her answers. Deciding it was time to get involved, I asked. "Jeanne, I assume you went to his hotel room with him."

"Yes Michael, I did. That was the plan."

"Yes it was." My excitement was beginning to trump my fears. Taking a deep breath I said, "I assume you let him fuck you."

Suddenly nervous again, Jeanne tentatively answered, "Yes, I did."

Ignoring, Jeanne's uneasiness I asked, "Was he good?" I was careful to keep my voice calm and pleasant.

"Yes Michael, he was." Jeanne's voice was now a barely audible whisper.

Deciding that Jeanne needed reassurance I said, "It's okay. Amy, Mel and I have been talking about this. They told me it's inevitable that you're eventually going to meet men who are very good in bed."

"Michael, you'll always be my favorite."

"I know that Jeanne. It's okay, I'm still a little jealous, but that doesn't matter. I'll get over being jealous. What does matter is that I'm happy for you."

"You're happy for me?"

"Yes Jeanne, I love you. I'm glad you met some one who's outstanding in bed."

"Really?"

"Yes Jeanne."

"Michael, you don't have any reason to be jealous."

"I know that Jeanne, but those old attitudes are hard to shake."

"I understand."

"Don't worry, they're slowly disappearing. Did you have fun with..." I paused and asked, "Jerry Clay, that was his name, right?"

"Yes, Jerry Clay."

"Did you have fun with Jerry?"

"Michael, I really did."

"Did he have a big cock?"

Jeanne was silent. After a moment she said, "Yes Michael, he did." The reticence was back in Jeanne's voice.

I realized that Jeanne was once again worried about hurting my feelings. I considered trying to reassure her again, but then I decided the best way to reassure her was to continue discussing this in a relaxed, unemotional manner. I asked, "Did you enjoy sucking it?"

Jeanne shrieked, "Michael!"

"What?"

"I...You're not..."

"I'm not what? I'm not supposed to ask you that question?"

"Michael, I don't know. This is all so confusing. I don't know what to think. I wish I'd never started this."

Amy said, "Do you really believe that Jeanne?"

Jeanne was silent. After a moment she said, "I need to say something. Michael please let me finish before you try to respond, all right?"

"Okay."

"Jerry's cock was at least eight inches long and it was thick. In San Francisco I mentioned that I'd been with a man who had a large cock and I didn't enjoy it. I now understand why. The man I was with before was young. He was clumsy and self centered. When he tried to fuck me he jammed his cock into me. I wasn't prepared for it and it hurt. Jerry was larger than that guy, but when he started fucking me he was patient and graceful. He entered me slowly. He gave me an opportunity to get used to his size. When he did start fucking me I was ready for him and it was amazing. Jerry was a virtuoso in bed and his huge cock was wonderful."

A surge of jealousy stabbed at my gut. Mel was watching me. She gave my thigh a firm squeeze and whispered, "Listen to her Michael, she's not finished."

Jeanne said, "Mel's right Michael, I'm not finished and I beg you to keep listening to me."

"All right."

"Jerry was a talented partner. While sex with him was exciting, amazingly exciting, it wasn't as exciting as the sex I enjoyed with you in San Francisco. Michael, with Jerry or for that matter any of the other men I date, sex is a purely physical act. With you there is so much more. Of course we love each other and that alone makes it better, but there's still more. You're my friend and my soul mate. In San Francisco we talked, we used our imaginations, we explored our fantasies together. I can't do that with any man but you. Michael, big cocks are fun. I realize that now and I have to be honest with you. I am going to want to experience more of them, but you will always be my most exciting sex partner."

Jeanne paused. After a moment she said, "You're every bit as graceful and patient as Jerry was and I love your cock. It's not as big as Jerry's, but it's still wonderful and you have something extra, something that neither Jerry nor any other man I date will ever have. You have a bond with me, a bond that promotes trust and sharing. Michael you will always be my most exciting lover because we enjoy each other, we know each other and we care about each other. I feel like I can safely reveal all of my fantasies to you and I think you feel the same way about me. That allows us to share them with each other."

Jeanne took a second to think and then she said, "Yes, I do occasionally enjoy a man like Trent, a man who treats me like a slut, but I could never trust one of those men. The personality traits that make them exciting preclude trust and sharing. I found you twenty-seven years ago. You are my treasure and I promise you that I will do everything I can to keep from losing you. That includes giving up this lifestyle if it turns out that it's necessary. There, that's what I needed to say."

"Thank you for telling me that. We've discussed this before, but this is an area where I'm going to need a lot of reassurance."

"I understand."

"It's funny."

"What?"

"When I imagine you with a man like Jerry, a man who's a well endowed, skilled lover, I have several contradictory reactions. I'm jealous, I know you're telling me that I don't have any reason to be jealous, but I can't help it, I still am."

Amy said, "Years of conditioning."

I nodded and then I continued. "I'm also envious."

Jeanne asked, "Why are you envious?"

"I wish I had a big cock so I could drive you wild when we fuck."

"You do drive me wild when we fuck."

"Because you love me, but I'd like to be able to do what Jerry did for you tonight."

Mel said, "Michael, I love Amy and she loves me. She's my favorite sex partner and I'm confident that I'm her favorite sex partner."

Amy smiled at her. "You certainly are."

Mel continued. "We're both bisexual. We both love cocks. When I watch you fuck Amy I see her enjoying a pleasure that I can never give her. Yes, we have strap on dildos. You've watched us use them. They're not the same as the real thing. Nothing can replace a real cock.

Amy said, "But Mel is still my favorite and most exciting sex partner. If she asked me to do it, I'd give up cocks for the rest of my life."

"I would never do that. I love Amy. I want her to enjoy every pleasure the world has to offer. That includes real cocks, so I love watching you fuck Amy and when she has a client like Ken Denton I love hearing her tell me about the fun she had with him. Jeanne, do you get jealous when you hear us talk about having sex with Michael?"

"I'm sure you remember that I got very jealous when I first learned he was staying with you. You're dancers and professional escorts. Michael if you want to talk about insecurity try being a woman whose husband is living with two strippers."

Amy, Mel and I smiled.

Jeanne continued. "Then I thought about it. First I recognized that considering everything I've done during the last few months it would be outrageously hypocritical of me to be jealous about Michael's relationship with the two of you."

"Jeanne, you've never had any reason to be jealous. I'll always love..."My voice trailed off.

Amy and Mel burst out laughing. I could hear Jeanne laughing too.

Feeling chagrined, I said, "Yeah okay, I get it. That's exactly what you're telling me."

Jeanne said, "Michael honey, there's something that's even more important."

Amy said, "Tell us Jeanne. I think Mel and I know what it is and it is important. In fact it's what really matters."

Mel was nodding in agreement.

"Michael, right now you're living on a ranch just north of Tucson Arizona with two exotic dancers who used to be expensive escorts in Las Vegas. Do you realize how many men would envy you if they knew about your current living situation? You're going to have fond memories of this time you're spending with Mel and Amy for the rest of your life. I love you. How could I possibly want to stop you from having this experience."

I remembered what Charles Montgomery told me in my office on that Saturday I walked in on Jeanne and Derek Fischer in our bedroom. He said, "Michael during the days before her getaways Edith was actually giddy with excitement. It's fun to see the woman you love that happy."

I smiled. For the first time I actually understood what Charles was trying to tell me. Suddenly feeling very good, I said, "Jeanne."

"Yes Michael."

"Tell me about the fun you had with Jerry Clay tonight and please don't be shy about it. I love you. You had a memorable experience. I want you to share it with me."

Mel said, "Jeanne, before you start telling us about your date I want to ask you a question."

"Go ahead Mel."

"Do you still ever get Jealous about Michael's relationship with us?"

"No Mel, I don't."

"Do you understand why you don't."

"Of course. I gotten to know you. Now you and Amy aren't just Michael's friends, you're my friends too." She chuckled. "I will admit that occasionally I'm envious."

I asked, "Why?"

"The three of you are having so much fun. I want to be there too."

Mel said, "I'm certain that eventually a time will come when all four of us are together. Amy and I are looking forward to it as much as you are."

"I hope so, I really do." Jeanne paused for a moment and then she said, "But Michael this is important. I know you have to be away right now and I understand why, but there is a drawback to it. When you're away the men I'm dating are surreal figures to you. In your mind they're at least partially shaped by your fears and insecurities. If you met Trent you wouldn't be concerned about him at all. Baby he's a complete dufuss. He's good in bed, but his attributes end there. That's fine with me because all I want is a guy who's good in bed."

"When you first told me about him you said you found him interesting."

"I did and on a very superficial level I still do. Trent has all the sophistication of a high school football star. There's an arrogance about him that at this time in my life excites me, but only for sex. Trent and I never go out to dinner. I can't imagine having to make conversation with him for an entire meal." Jeanne chuckled. "But he sure does know how to make me act like a slut."

"What about Jerry Clay?"

"I think he's more like Amy and Mel. He's fun and interesting. You and I could both become friends with him."

"Me?"

"Why not. I've become friends with Amy and Mel. Michael, Jerry Clay isn't anymore interested in stealing me from you than Amy and Mel are interested in stealing you from me. If he lived here I could easily imagine a situation where the three of us went out for dinner."

"The three of us?"

"That's right, the three of us. We'd have dinner together and after dinner we'd go back to our house. Jerry and I would go into Tricia's old room and fuck while you watched television in the den. After Jerry leaves you and I would continue the fun in our bedroom. It could be a really exciting evening."

"I don't know Jeanne, I'm not sure I'm ready for..."

"Actually Jerry's pretty open minded. I'm fairly certain he'd be willing to let you come into Tricia's room and watch."

Next to me, Mel whispered, "You'd like that, wouldn't you. I'd like it too. If I was there I'd sit next to you. We could watch together."

Amy said, "Hey, what about me. I want to watch too."

Giggling, Jeanne said, "This is getting kinky. I really like that."

Shaking my head, I said, "The three of you are going to turn me into a total pervert."

Amy said, "No honey, you're already a pervert. We're just bringing it out of you."

Jeanne said, "Baby relax, let go. Believe me, being a pervert is fun. I'm enjoying every minute of it."

Next to me, Mel said, "Take it from a couple of old whores, she's right."

I smiled and then I asked, "Jeanne I know it's getting a late, but if you're not too tired I'd still like to hear a little bit about your date."

"That's why I called Michael. I really do want to share my new life with you. I was nervous tonight. I was afraid you might be hurt if I was completely honest about the fun I had with Jerry, but I still called. I didn't want to hide it from you."

"I appreciate that Jeanne. I think tonight has been good for us. My confidence is growing. Originally I'd just hoped to reach a point where I could tolerate our new life, now I think I might be able to enjoy it."

"Michael, that's the first time you've called it our new life. In the past you're always referred to it as my new life. That makes me happy. I want it to be our new life."

"I want that too Jeanne."

"I'm so glad."

"Jeanne, I gather you really enjoyed Jerry's cock tonight."

"I did."

"Tell me about it."

Giggling, Jeanne said, "A year ago I never would have imagined you asking me to tell you about another man's cock."

"A lot's changed in the last year."

"Yes it has. Okay, Jerry's cock. It was big. I figured that out while we were still sitting at the table in the bar."

Mel asked, "Were you sitting with Ruth and Abby at the time?"

"Yes."

"Did Ruth and Abby have men sitting with them too?"

"Yes all three of us paired up quickly."

Smiling, Mel said, "So while you were conversing with four other people you were playing with Jerry's cock under the table. I love it."

"It was really slutty, wasn't it."

"But you loved it, didn't you Jeanne."

"Yes Michael, I really did."

"Where was David?" Mel asked the question, but I was also wondering about it and I was certain Amy was too.

"He was sitting at the bar watching."

"Was Ruth flirting with her man?"

"Yes and she was so excited. Michael, Ruth is just as big a slut as Abby and me."

Nodding, Amy said, "I thought that might turn out to be the case."

Mel asked, "what was her guy's name?"

"Rob."

"Do you think she was playing with Rob's cock under the table?"

"I'm sure she was."

Amy grinned. "While her husband was sitting at the bar watching. That is so hot."

I asked, "Jeanne, were you excited when you felt Jerry's cock and realized how big it was?"

"I was. Michael I'm so glad we had this conversation. I was really worried about this. As you know my first experiences with well endowed men weren't very satisfying, but both Abby and Ruth are size queens. They've been telling me that if a guy can be patient a really big cock can be amazingly fun." Jeanne paused and asked, "Do you know what size queen means?"

"Yes, it's a term that describes a woman who has preference for large cocks. Is Ruth really a size queen?"

"Oh yes, even more than Abby. Ruth has told us a lot about her life before she met David. She was a real slut."

"I thought so." Amy was smiling.

"Does David know she's a size queen?"

"Yes Michael, he does. It excites him."

"I have to admit that knowing you're a size queen excites me too."

"While I'm both happy and relieved to hear that I think it excites David for different reasons than it excites you."

"What do you mean?"

"Michael, you're a voyeur. For you, the image of me sucking a big cock arouses you."

"It does."

"David is a voyeur too, so that image also arouses him, but for him there's an additional excitement."

"What is it?"

"Will you promise to try to understand?"