Auntie Sarina

I drove slowly down the tree-lined street looking for the address that was my intended destination. It had been nearly 11 years since I had left my hometown under a cloud. I had recently moved back when a job opportunity presented itself. I had agonized over the decision: I wanted to come back home but I was afraid of what awaited me there, in terms of my personal relationships. In the end I decided enough time had passed, and there were a few things I needed to do anyway.

I found the house without much difficulty. It was mostly brick on the outside with beige paint on the other portions. It was nicely landscaped, with a small front yard but a good sized backyard, if I was reading the fence line correctly.

I steeled myself, wanting desperately to have a drink to steady my nerves but that would have been a really bad idea, all things considered. Finally, I walked up to the door and rang the bell.

I heard a couple voices from inside start to stir as the bell wound down, a distinctive 'I'll get it' being the most clear and apparently from the mouth of a child. The door opened moments later and, as I expected, a young girl of about 7 opened the door. I started to speak but she beat me to it.

"Mommy, mommy, Auntie Sarina's at the door. She's here, she's here!"

And then she was gone.

Now that was a surprise. Sarina was certainly my name but I hadn't the foggiest idea how this little girl would know that or why she would be calling me 'Auntie'. I was still puzzling over that when a woman I presumed to be the child's mother appeared at the door.

"Sarina, my God, it really is you. I had assumed it was another of the girl's fantasies. Come in, come in."

I stepped inside the house. It was lovingly decorated and perfectly clean. I recognized the woman but was having trouble putting a name to the face until I saw a wedding picture mounted to the wall in the living room.

"Brooke...Brooke Melson."

"In the flesh. I was wondering if you recognized me. And it's Weston now, of course, not Melson anymore."

"Of course; I'm sorry but I was just so glad to figure it out. I knew you looked familiar but, well, it's been a long time."

"It certainly has. Come in and have a seat. Can I get you something to drink?"

I asked for a glass of water as I took a seat on the couch. The little girl that had answered the door had disappeared, probably at the encouragement of her mother. I found myself hoping to see her again. Brooke came back into the room with 2 cups of water and set them on the table in front of us.

Brooke was slim with blonde hair that was almost white. It was straight and cut evenly just above her shoulders. She had small breasts and a small butt as well, all in contrast to my voluptuous figure of big boobs and a fairly round ass. I'm not criticizing or anything; just pointing out the differences.

"Henry and Janie are at Home Depot right now. I'll let him know you're here so he doesn't dilly-dally."

"There's no need. I'd like to spend some time talking to you first, anyway. And Janie is?

"Janie's our eldest and her father's shadow. You rarely see them apart on weekends."

"So, Auntie Sarina...?"

"I suppose I should explain that. We have a number of things from when you and Henry were married stored up in the attic, including a number of pictures. The girls were exploring one day and came across a picture of the two of you visiting the Grand Canyon."

"I remember that trip. It was one of my favorites. Just another thing I threw away."

Brooke's hand touched my arm and brought me out of my bout of self-pity. She didn't say anything, and didn't need to.

"They asked who you were and the first thing that popped into my mind was 'Auntie Sarina'. I told them you were a very old friend of daddy's."

"I'm sorry you were put in that position."

"Oh, don't apologize. It turned out to be a great benefit. The girls were full of questions, and pretty soon you were a globe-trotting adventurer that spent a lot of time travelling. It's been remarkably useful in teaching the girls they can achieve anything they want."

"Well, at least some good has come from it."

"They never met you but you're one of their heroes."

"I wish it was for something I've actually done. Brooke, I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but why are you being so nice to me?"

"Why wouldn't I be nice to you, Sarina?"

"Well, considering what I did to Henry, I'd have thought I'd be fairly unwelcome. I was dreading coming here."

"It's been years, Sarina. I admit to cursing your name quite a bit when Henry and I got together. It was very hard to bring him back from what you had done to him. But in the end that allowed me to meet my soul mate and build my wonderful life and family. In a way I should be thanking you."

"You have 2 daughters?"

"Three, actually: Evie you've met, and there's Janie, of course. The baby, Lucy, is napping. Well, she's 3 but she's still the baby."

"I'm so glad Henry was finally able to find his happiness. I've worried about it for so long."

"So, I guess I should ask why you're here. I guarantee you'll be disappointed if your goal is to get him back."

"No, Brooke, nothing like that. Even if I thought I could, which I don't, I would never dream of intruding on your happiness. No, I'm here because I'm...in the program...and..."

"The program?"

"AA. I'm 2 years sober and trying to make some amends in my life."

"That's wonderful, Sarina, though I wasn't aware you had a drinking problem when you were with Henry."

"It actually started after we divorced but Henry is my greatest failure, my greatest emotional debt, so even though the goal is to make amends to those you wronged while you were drinking I decided I had to include Henry for my own well-being."

"That makes sense."

I caught sight of Evie lurking behind a door frame and gestured for her to come on out.

"Auntie Sarina, where did you go on your last adventure?"

Oh crap, now I had to scramble.

"I was in...Australia...studying kangaroos."

"I know about kangaroos. The babies are called joeys and they're a marpu...a marpu...marspupal!"

"I think the word you're looking for is marsupial."

"That's what I said: marspupal. Can I go on an adventure with you?"

"Maybe one day, sweetheart. You have to be a lot bigger and I don't plan to take any trips for a while."

That seemed to make her sad and I felt bad disappointing her. Brooke then gently guided her back to her room.

"So, are you going to be living around here, Sarina?"

"I've got an apartment a few miles from here and my company had an opening here that I got so, yes, I'll be moving back."

"I hope you know you're always welcome here."

"Thank you. You're being far kinder than I could ever have expected. And I'm so glad you guys found each other after...well, after."

"Sarina, if I can get personal, can I ask why? Why you did, well, what you did?"

"I've asked myself that question so many times, Brooke. Henry and I got together pretty young and I wasn't very experienced. My friend, Kristine, was single and always going on about the great sexual experiences she had and I guess I got a little jealous."

"Henry says you guys had a great sex life."

"We did, though I can't believe you guys talked about it. It was really great, but Kristine was doing things I never dreamed of, and talking about it got me so worked up. She talked about having threesomes with 2 guys or a guy and another girl, and sometimes group sex, and even her doing a gang-bang once."

Brooke was clearly shocked at what I had said. I had known her (well, I knew who she was anyway) even back then, though we didn't run in the same circles. She was always fairly conservative and I doubted she'd even consider doing anything more than one-on-one sex, and probably only with a man she was in love with. I continued.

"For a while I'd come home from talking to Kristine about these things and just wear him out in bed, but pretty soon I became almost obsessed. I wanted to try them myself but I knew Henry would never allow it so Kristine and I made plans to do it in secret."

"Did your friend push you in any way?"

"Other than telling me her stories, no she didn't. She actually tried to talk me out of it at first but once she saw I was determined she agreed to help so she could hopefully make sure I didn't get caught. We know how that worked out, of course."

"And you did it more than once?"

"Oh yes. The first time was, simply put, amazing, at least for me. It was a threesome with 2 other guys and I had hands and mouths all over me constantly, and I spent most of the time with a dick inside me somewhere. They weren't better than Henry but the constant stimulation just kept me on fire the whole time. It wasn't loving like it was with Henry. It really was just sex, as clichéd as that sounds, but it was great sex and I wanted more, and I figured if we got away with it once we could do it again."

"But didn't you know what you could lose?"

"I did, but I didn't think we'd get caught, and then I thought that even if we did that Henry loved me so much that he'd forgive me at least one time, and maybe more. And I sometimes think if he had walked in on me with just one guy we might have gotten passed it. But when he walked in on me with one guy fucking me doggy-style with my face buried in my best friend's pussy while 2 more guys recovered nearby waiting for another turn, well, that was just too much for him. He wouldn't even speak to me. I tried for a while but finally just signed the papers. I started drinking not long after that."

We were both in tears by now as I remembered the downfall of my marriage at my own selfish hands. The one man that had truly loved me had been destroyed by my actions and I spent several years getting drunk as a result. I got picked up in bars regularly but nothing made the pain go away. It took an STD and a couple of pregnancy scares before I finally decided to get my life together. It had been a long road but I was making good progress.

After a few minutes the tears had stopped and the silence grew awkward. I wanted to move on to something more upbeat.

"So, um, how did you and Henry get together?"

Brooke had to wipe her eyes and blow her nose before she could speak.

"It was a few months after your divorce went final. He had apparently thrown himself into work. He was getting there at 6:00 in the morning and not leaving until 9 or 10 at night, even on weekends. He was burning himself out so a couple of friends from work had to basically drag him out of there. They started making him go out with them 3 or 4 times a week."

"Go out where?"

"Anywhere. Sometimes just dinner but they took him to clubs or they went bowling. Heck, one time they went miniature golfing; anything to get him out of the office and start socializing again. We still have them and their wives over quite a bit, though they weren't married at the time."

"They sound like good friends."

"They are. Anyway, one night his friends took him to a club on the same night me and some of my work friends had gone out. I saw him there and hoped he would ask me to dance but he just sat at his table while his friends had fun. They tried to get him up and moving but he just kept shaking his head. Finally he just tossed a few bucks on the table and got up to leave. I still have no idea what made me do it."

"Do what?"

"I got out of my chair and caught him before he got outside. Sarina, I had never in my life even approached a man, let alone asked a man to dance or on a date or anything. I had been brought up that that was the man's place. But I just had to stop him from leaving. I took his arm and told him he couldn't leave yet. Of course he turned to me and said 'why not?". I told him that I had seen him at his table and had planned to dance with him tonight, and we hadn't danced yet. He looked at me for a minute then said 'That makes perfect sense'. He took my hand and just as we got to the floor a slow song came on. I was afraid he'd back out but he just pulled me close and we leaned into each other for the next few minutes. That was my first look at the man I would fall in love with, though it took some time before I saw that version of Henry with any regularity."

Brooke's eyes gave away that she was lost in the memory of meeting her soul mate, a man I had damaged so heavily and that she had managed to repair. I again sat in wonder that she could be so kind to me. She continued.

"We found a table of our own and spent much of the night talking, with a few dances in between. He didn't tell me anything about you that night; it was just about us and things we liked. Pretty basic stuff for when you meet someone. I thought we really had a connection. I know I did. I gave him my number and waited for him to call, but 3 weeks went by without a word."

"I finally ran into the same friends of his and they told me that he wouldn't go with them anymore. He absolutely refused. I told them about the evening I had spent with him and they seemed surprised. He hadn't said a word about it, and I thought perhaps I had simply misread it. He must have sensed my interest but wasn't interested himself, but rather than tell me so he was hiding from me. I actually got kind of angry that he would be such a coward."

"I've never known Henry to be a coward in anything."

"Neither have I, but I didn't know him then. I decided I needed to confront him to tell him just what I thought about how he was treating me, and I got one of his friends to tell me where they worked. I went there the next night; one of the guys let me in and showed me his office and I walked right in. I let him have it, boy, telling him what a jerk he was and how I didn't appreciate being ignored, and that if he didn't feel anything for me he should have said so and not taken my number, or if he changed his mind to call and tell me. I told him I had been waiting for him to call me and was angry that he had done this to me."

"My God, what'd he say?"

"Not a thing at first. He broke down in sobs and collapsed on to the floor. I had expected a lot of things but that wasn't one of them and I felt bad. I went around behind his desk and lifted his head into my lap and tried to soothe him. I apologized for yelling at him and told him I didn't mean to make him so upset. It seemed like forever before he stopped crying. I helped him up and into his chair, and he surprised me by pulling me into his lap."

I was on the edge of my seat by this point, wondering what was going to happen next.

"He told me that I had it wrong, that the reason he hadn't called me was because he had felt something for me, and it scared him really badly. We ended up going to dinner and this was when I heard about the end of your marriage, Sarina. He didn't tell me exactly what he had walked in on; only that you had cheated on him and what he had seen had completely devastated him and had him questioning his own manhood, his own ability to be enough for a woman."

I found tears running down my face at the thought of what I had done to the man I had loved with all of my heart.

"I...I had no idea."

"That's why he never spoke to you during the divorce. He was trying to build some semblance of self-confidence and he was sure that seeing you would destroy any progress he had made. I actually spent the night with him that night. We didn't have sex or anything. We just spent time together and cuddled together. I slept in his arms and I've never felt so comfortable and safe. That night I knew he was the man I would marry, but I would have to build him back up first."

"We went out the next 3 nights and I stayed at his place each night. We finally made love on the third night and it was amazing, like nothing I've ever felt before, and I don't just mean the orgasms. He touched me deep inside my very soul. It sounds trite but he completed me, he really did."

"We saw each other pretty much every day from then on. We didn't sleep together every night but it was close. He had his bad moments, when I'd find him drunk and sitting in the dark and he'd lash out at me. I was upset at first but his therapist eventually helped me realize that he was trying to scare me off before what he thought was him inevitably failing me in some way. So I just let him vent and then took him in my arms and reassured him he was all I wanted and all I needed and to please let me love him. Those were hard nights."

"How long did this go on for?" I finally asked.

"We were together for about a year before I think he finally felt comfortable in our relationship. We still had a few bouts with depression after that but nothing as bad as there had been. When he finally proposed to me 6 months after that I burst into tears, not just because I was going to marry him but because I knew that meant he finally felt that he was enough for me and I was so happy for him."

I silently thanked God that Henry had found this amazing woman who had recognized how great Henry was and who had the patience and fortitude to stay with him until he himself realized it.

"Brooke, I want to thank you for what you did for him. I know you did it for yourself as well, but you have no idea what it means to me that he's happy again."

"You're welcome, Sarina. I hope it helps you find some peace."

Brooke suddenly excused herself to go into her bedroom to get herself together a little bit. A noise outside caught my attention and my heart jumped when I saw a truck pull into the driveway. It was almost like Brooke had sensed it and went to get herself ready: Henry was home.

I looked out the window and watched him climb out of the truck. He looked good. He had kept himself in good shape. He was followed by a little Brooke-clone that was obviously Janie. They unloaded some things out of the truck and put them in the garage. There was joy on both of their faces as they worked and talked to each other, and I hurt just a minute for what I had given up by my selfish actions.

Brooke emerged from the bedroom and went directly into the garage to meet her husband and daughter. As Janie came inside I could see Henry and Brooke embracing. Their eyes were locked and then they kissed with such a passion for each other it made my heart hurt: it should have been me.

"Auntie Sarina, my name is Janie and I'm very pleased to meet you," said Henry's eldest daughter, walking up to me standing in the living room.

I had been so transfixed on Henry and Brooke that I hadn't even noticed her walking over to me. I looked down at another little blonde mini-Brooke. She was so beautiful and sweet.

"I'm delighted to meet you, too, Janie."

Suddenly Evie appeared as well.

"Daddy, daddy, Auntie Sarina says I can go on adventure with her when I get bigger."

"I wanta go, too," squealed Janie.

"Girls, girls," my ex-husband said, and I immediately lost myself in that baritone voice that had meant nothing but happiness to me once upon a time. "I'm sure that Auntie Sarina will be happy to take you both when the time comes. Now, let's get Lucy up from her nap so you three can go out back and play."

The girls ran ahead of him, presumably to rouse the sleeping Lucy, and he walked over to me. I was speechless as he wrapped his arms around me and gave me a hug. All was right with the world for just that few seconds.

"Sarina, it's so good to see you. I'm glad you've come by. Let me get the girls taken care of and then we can talk, okay?"

I could only manage to nod my agreement and then he was gone, off to take care of his family. Brooke came over to me and whispered it was okay and I could stop crying. I hadn't even realized that I was.

Minutes later, I was introduced to still another little Brooke (didn't any of Henry's genetic traits make it through?) in the form of 3-year-old Lucy. She said something that sounded like 'hewo Andi Sina' and then gave me a big hug. I squeezed her back and then Brooke led the girls into the backyard, leaving Henry and I alone.