At Odds with Herself

Friday was horrible for me. I felt so ashamed and guilty for what I had done. My mind went back and forth debating if I should confess to my husband. I was so afraid of losing him but I couldn't bear the burden of my illicit affair. I had given in to temptation but worse yet I continued down the deceitful path by ensuring that I would be tempted again. I hardly slept at all that night.

By Friday afternoon my mind was made up and I was going to tell my husband I had cheated. I was going to tell him everything. I was nervous about how he would react, but I hoped he would be able to forgive me. I was at least hopeful that my confession and honesty about what happened would in some way keep him from losing complete faith and trust in me, but I was fairly sure that would be a stretch. I cried on and off during the whole day. I was angry with myself for getting into a situation like this and the reality of what I stood to lose was overwhelming at points. Over ten years of marriage, of my life, could be erased by one deed.

Ed was a wonderful husband. He was always gentle and kind with me despite his iron fist reputation that followed him from his days in the military to his position at work. He was a sensitive lover and a good listener. He refused to let me work, insisting that I deserved to be treated like a princess. For over ten years I never worked a day, instead volunteering at local organizations, which helped me feel some sense of self worth.

However, there were times were it felt like I was little more than a trophy wife. As long as I looked good and clung to him, in turn making him look good, he was happy. He made a point to include me in many of the social functions for his Job, especially the ones where his superiors were there. There is nothing wrong with him including me. In fact it was nice most of the time, but in those situations he assumed a much more dominant role often subtly belittling me around the top brass, making me out to be little more than a fancy and expensive decoration for his bed. There were times I could hear him, as I walked away, making suggestive comments about his sexual prowess with me, almost always inflating the truth. Ed's good points far outweighed his bad ones, and over time I grew to accept his work persona.

I was anxious about which Ed I would get once I told him the truth. I was hoping it would be the sweet and tender Ed, but I had a sinking feeling that it would be the Iron Fist that I so rarely got a glimpse of. When Ed finally got home Friday evening, he was drunk, literally stumbling over his own feet. He was home less than an hour before he passed out cold. I was ready to tell him everything, but it was going to have to wait until tomorrow. Part of me was relieved but most of me was more scared than ever.

I sat on the couch staring at the TV but not watching it, consumed by my mind as it toiled and tried to predict how Ed would react. I was unable to shake the thoughts of it and, out of almost sheer necessity, made a drink to help calm my nerves. I sat back down in the living room, right where I had committed the very act that now troubled me endlessly.

The buzzing of Ed's phone brought me back to reality. I headed towards the source of the vibrations and picked it up to read the screen. It was a text message from someone named 'D'. I pressed the button to read the message and waited for the screen to change. 'Monday, usual place and time?' was displayed on the tiny screen in my hand. I fiddled through the menus and marked the message as unread then put it back on the table.

I had sat back down on the couch but was still thinking about the text message. The simple and brief message seemed to loom in my head. I picked his phone back up and started looking through his inbox. I scrolled through it and there was just that one message from 'D'. I checked the contact list and found the only things populated were the First name which was 'D' and the phone number. I was in the process of putting the phone back down when I thought about checking the 'sent items'.

As soon as I opened the sent folder I found many messages sent to 'D'. The first one listed was sent a few hours ago, not long before Ed got home from work. As I read the long list of sent items, I was quickly putting together the pieces of the puzzle. Although the messages were short and non-descript It became apparent Ed was having some form of a relationship with 'D'. Entries went as far back as almost a month ago, less than a week after we moved back to the States.

I became furious, my guilt turned to rage and my nervousness turned to fury as read over the sent items repeatedly. I gulped my drink down and fell flat on the couch, crying and sobbing hysterically for a long time. Eventually I sat up and dried my eyes, deciding right then I was going to follow Ed on Monday, even if it meant I had to go sit at his office and wait all day for him to leave.

I played it cool all weekend, avoiding Ed as much as I could though, not wanting to lose control of my emotions and fall apart. I was afraid I would lash out at him and throw my own affair in his face, just for spite. Deep down I knew I was really no better or worse than Ed for what I had done with Jim. Both of us, it appeared, were cheating but from what I could tell his was more than an innocent occurrence, it was plotted, repeated and downright devious.

I called his office on Monday morning and got his secretary, she told me without hesitation that he was in the office until around four. He had meetings and calls booked throughout the day. I left the house at three and by twenty after I was parked with his building in view. I sat outside of the entrance and exit to the parking lot waiting for his car to lead the way to his rendezvous. I kept glancing at the clock in my SUV, watching the time slowly pass.

At almost four thirty his car pulled out of the lot and I followed, trying to keep a safe distance so as not to be spotted, I kept imagining him looking in his rear view, catching a glimpse of me and aborting his secretive meeting. I let out a half hearted chuckle, laughing at myself, thinking I was a product of too many Hollywood movies and bad television.

My suspicions about him cheating were all but confirmed as I watched him pull into a hotel, park, and head in to the lobby. I stopped on the street and waited about fifteen minutes, wondering if every woman that I watched walk in or out of the hotel was his mistress. I felt a bit irrational at points while I waited, but reasoned with myself through each bout.

It dawned on me as I walked towards the lobby that I had no idea what I was going to do. I had imagined catching him like this, but my imagination always put me right at his door and I would bust it wide open, catching him in the act. I was totally clueless on exactly what to do next but continued towards the front desk anyway.

The young man at the front desk was very nice and I only had to show him my license to have a new keys made for 'the room'. He remarked that it was odd that we had lost our keys so quickly, but after he saw my ID, he handed me a set of new keys. He told me to throw the old ones away if we found them, as they were now useless. I looked at the envelope he handed me, with the number '217' written on the front, thanked him and looked around until I located the elevator.

The ride up, even though it was only one floor, seemed to take forever. I followed the signs along the hallway until I was standing outside room 217. I was sweating heavily, my palms were soaked and beads of nervous perspiration dripped down my forehead. I wiped my brow and tried to calm my shaking as I pressed my ear to the door. I couldn't hear much but I was able to make out Ed's voice, it sounded like he was moaning more than saying anything specific. My anger grew as I listened to the son of a bitch enjoy whatever it was he and his mistress were doing.

I struggled, fumbling to get a key from the holder to unlock the door. I slid the key into the slot and quickly pulled it out. A green light appeared near the handle letting me know I was clear to open it. I grabbed it and started turning it slowly. It let out a faint clicking noise as the handle came to a stop. I took a deep breath and pushed very gently against the door, opening it as slow and quietly as possible.

I heard the TV from inside the room get louder as the door gave way but it was only open a couple inches when it stopped, refusing to go any further. I was guessing that security lock was keeping it closed. I could hear Ed clearly now, he was moaning and offering words of encouragement to the mystery woman. "Oh yeah, just like that!" he said as I started to peer through the gap in the doorway.

Ed was sitting on the bed, with his legs towards the hallway side of the room, leaning back on his arms. I couldn't see much around his waist, there was a lamp blocking my view, but as I crouched lower, his lover came into view. The unmistakable sight of a head bobbing up and down on Ed's penis evoked a sudden and powerful feeling of nausea. In a violent rush I threw up, vomiting all over myself and the door. I was no longer hidden. Ed quickly realized I was there and shut the door on me, slamming it closed. I fell to my knees, leaning against the door, sobbing hysterically. I tried to pull myself together, but just couldn't.

I started to walk away when the door opened behind me. Ed came storming out and grabbed my arm, pulling me along into the room. "What the fuck are you doing here?" he asked angrily.

"What am I doing here?" I yelled, looking around the room, "You're the one held up in a hotel room, getting your dick sucked!" I started crying again, "Jesus Christ Ed, I knew something was up, but this?" I grabbed a garbage can and threw up again, heaving violently into it. I took a minute to let my breathing settle enough to speak. "I mean, I can't even begin to comprehend what I just saw," the bathroom door opened, "I mean you're having an affair with a MAN! There was some guy sucking your dick less than five fucking minutes ago!" I threw up again. The 'D' tuned out to stand for Donald.

Ed looked at me for a long time without saying a word. I broke the silence, "Ed, when you came home Friday I was going to confess to you that I had slipped up, for the first time since we started dating. I had sex with someone else last week, and I can't tell you how bad I felt about it. I was miserable, enough so that I had to get it off my chest regardless of the consequences. It happened one time, and one time only. What a fool I was to think that it would have mattered to you!" I started crying again. "What a fucking idiot I have been! I thought I was a horrible person for having one single moment of weakness! Now I find out that not only have you been cheating on me, but it's with a fucking man!" My crying turned into heavy sobs, "Why the fuck did you marry me if you would rather fuck men!"

I didn't give Ed a chance to answer, slamming the door as I left. It felt like every set of eyes in the place fell on me as I walked out. I knew my makeup had run from my eyes and I had vomit splattered on my blouse and skirt. I ran across the parking lot and hurried to get into my SUV. I closed the door and just sat there for a long while crying and wailing hysterically.

The ride home and the next couple days were a blur. Ed and I avoided each other at all costs. He slept in one of the spare bedrooms and left the house before I even got up, returning late in the evening. I had no idea where he was going, but I figured over to Donald's. Even though Don was married and had children, Ed spending time there wouldn't seem out of the ordinary.

It had been the furthest thing from my mind since Monday, but when Jim showed up on Thursday I found myself thinking about his cock, and nothing but his cock. It had been a week since I had any sexual satisfaction and almost as long since I had the urge. My thoughts drifted from my gay, cheating husband to the new and exciting lover that was mowing my lawn. I stayed inside while he worked and only popped my head out the front door when he started putting the equipment back in the trailer.

He saw me waving and flashed a huge smile. Jim slammed the gate of the trailer closed then headed towards me. I moved away from the door as he got closer, not wanting my naked body to be visible to the whole neighborhood.

I led him to the couch in the living room, my hands quickly unbuttoning his fly and yanking his zipper open. A quick tug pulled his pants down to his knees and a gentle push made him sit on the couch. I took his flaccid penis into my mouth as far as I could take it while my hands fumbled with his boots, working on getting him naked. His cock was rock hard before I had his clothes off. Unable to bear the pain of his cock in my mouth, I had to pull it out.

Jim quickly finished taking his jeans off and moved behind me as I dropped down onto my hands and knees. I was dying for his cock inside me, I wanted a big distraction from my life and he had one, right between his legs. I moaned, feeling the head of his cock press against my lips. My body tensed as he pushed into me, struggling to slide his monster inside my recently deprived box. Jim pulled his cock away and grabbed my hips. I felt myself rolling over onto my back, his strength quickly flipping me. His hands each grabbed an ankle and pushed my legs up towards my chest where I grabbed and held them.

Jim hovered over me, letting the stiff member between his legs slide around the lips of my pussy but in a sudden move he pulled away from me and lowered his head. The prickly stubble on his face made me giggle slightly as he planted his mouth on my pussy. His tongue found my clit in a hurry, making me moan and whimper in delight. He began to tease me, switching his attention between my clit and the split between my puffy lips. Each time he found my clit made it swell and harden, increasing the sensitivity and my desire to have him suckle on it.

His hands reached under me, cupping my ass cheeks and lifting them, rolling my back upwards. I flinched as the tip of his tongue swirled around my ass, licking it and pressing into it. I was slightly uncomfortable at first but my hesitation quickly turned into excitement and desire as his tongue probed into my virgin ass. I could feel his tongue begin to press into my bottom, spreading it just enough to allow his tongue just the slightest bit inside.

Jim took one hand from under me and at the same time his mouth moved and clamped down on my aching little button. He was sucking on my clit like it was a nipple on bottle, just the sound of his slurping nearly drove over the edge. A finger slid inside my soaking wet canal and curled up against my G-spot and I felt a finger against my tiny puckered ass, pushing its way inside me. My ass burned for just a second as his finger slid inside, but the pain quickly faded as I started to tremble and writhe from my impending orgasm.

I screamed out in pleasure as I came, the feeling of my clit, pussy and ass all at once was just too much. My legs flew down to the ground as they stiffened and my whole body turned rigid forcing Jim's head from my swollen and throbbing button. My crotch was thrusting and bucking mildly as the tidal wave of pleasure crashed over me. My body slowly relaxed, letting Jim pull his hand from between my legs. His finger sliding out of my ass was uncomfortable and I had the sudden urge to rush to the bathroom.

I was embarrassed as I scurried towards the toilet, but somewhat relieved when the urgent feeling passed without materializing. Jim was out in the hall waiting for me and although I had a minor distraction, I was more than ready to get fucked. I took him by the hand to my bedroom and hurriedly climbed on the bed. I was on my hands and knees with my head looking behind me as Jim moved into position, silently accepting the open invitation between my legs.

My pussy was a sopping wet mess from the combination of my excitement and Jim's saliva. He grabbed my pony tail and pulled my head back as his tool started to sink deeply inside me. I moaned loudly as his thick cock filled my cunt, giving me what I so desperately wanted. "Fuck my pussy, fuck it hard!" I yelled. Jim thrust into me and gave my hair a yank, snapping my head backwards almost painfully, his cock slammed forcefully into me. "Oh yeah, that's it, fuck that little pussy!"

Jim's cock began to slide in and out of me, his body slamming against mine with fierce power and determination. The ridge at the head of his cock pressed against my G-spot as he slipped almost all the way out over and over, pounding away at my little gash. I was moaning loudly with the occasional scream when his cock poked against something tender inside. "Ohhhh! God yes, that's it, fuck me harder!"

Jim's hand crashed down on my ass cheek. The acute stinging sensation had an odd effect as the flash of pain turned from physical discomfort to mental excitement. He continued to spank me, changing sides and how hard he hit me, bringing my arousal to new heights. I detested physical violence but Jim spanking me, punishing me just a little, while his cock hammered away inside my cunt was an incredible mix of pleasure and pain. I strained to straighten my body, every muscle grew tense as the waves of pleasure intensified, but Jim held me still, pulling harder on my hair and using his legs to pin mine down. I screamed, my euphoric song filling the room as I peaked with orgasmic bliss. Jim was still driving his huge cock in and out at a fast pace as I trembled and shook.

Jim let his grip of my hair relax a little as I stopped struggling to get away. I felt him run a finger around my ass just for a second before it pressed against my asshole. My reaction was the clench my cheeks, squeezing my ass tightly and it took a moment of concentration and a few tries before he could put a finger on it without me puckering up. I felt the slippery wetness being smeared around my anus. Jim took advantage of my relaxed state and pushed his finger into my rectum. I couldn't help it and tightened my ass in a knee jerk reaction.

Jim was quick to dig it further inside every time I relaxed, and soon the rest of his hand was up against my ass, with just a lone finger hiding in the dark recesses of my anus. His finger curled, pulling and tugging inside me for a minute or two evoking foreign sensations which were surprisingly enjoyable. All of a sudden I felt his hand twist and as his finger pressed against the walls of my ass, putting pressure on his pounding cock, I exploded. Jim held tightly to my hair as I tried to get away. I was screaming at the top of my lungs in sheer pleasure. My body bucked wildly and thrashed chaotically as came, ripples of pleasure spread outwards from my pussy to my fingers and toes. I was shivering with ecstasy from the unexpected but most intense orgasm of my life.

I was crippled by the power of my climax. It was as if I lost control over everything in my body. I was helpless to stop myself as I felt a small stream of urine trickle out from between my lips. I think I should have felt embarrassed, but Jim started grunting and thrusting harder inside me, taking my focus away from my loss of bodily control. His forceful pounding moved me forwards on the bed, buckling my arms and sending my shoulders down against the comforter but my legs were still bent and my ass was high up in the air. Jim let out a long and deep moan as he lost his rhythm and erupted inside me. I felt his finger in my ass apply more pressure as he erratically jerked and bucked, sending powerful spurts of his semen deep in my pussy.

His body trembled as his strokes became slow and shallow, random grunts and guttural sounds escaped his lips as his member emptied itself between my thighs. I could feel the hot blasts fading in intensity, almost mirroring the decrease in speed and force of his thrusting. Jim quickly pulled his finger from my ass and collapsed on top of me, forcing me flat against the bed. He used his arms to take his weight off me but stayed fairly still, his cock turning flaccid and shrinking slightly while still buried in my come filled pussy.