At Least She Didn't Cheat Yet?

750 Word Project 2023

Story:

"Bran, sweetheart, can we talk?" Branson Springfield's wife spoke anxiously, interrupting the ballgame he was watching on TV.

Branson had hoped that now that the kids were in bed for the night that he could watch the late innings of the Cubs Cardinals game in solitude. It wasn't meant to be. "Ahhh sure, honey. It's only for the Division title anyway."

Branson didn't really mind all that much. He loved Cammie with all his heart. They had been married for thirteen great years, with two young children at home. All in all, Branson was a very contented man.

Cameron was having trouble making eye contact with the man she loved terribly. "I-I-I, well, I want a divorce, honey."

Branson started to laugh, but when he saw the deadly serious look on Cammie face, his contented world crashed around him. "What the hell! Cammie?" He raged at her.

Cameron was startled by Branson's outburst, but not surprised. "Nixa said you'd react like this..."

"YOU THINK! Jesus, Cammie, you've always been a bit flighty, but this? HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?"

"She said this would be how you reacted. I should have just done what Nixa told me, and cheated behind your back." Cammie was shaking her head in frustration.

"You need to start speaking plain English, Cammie. And what the hell does that middle-aged tramp have to do with this?"

"Don't talk about her like that, Bran, she is..."

"Seriously, Cammie? She's the town bicycle! That bitch gets her penicillin direct mail every thirty days, for God's sake!" Branson was so angry he was shaking. "Talk to me, Cam!"

"Well, honey, you know you're the only man I've ever been with. And, I've never had an orgasm. Nixa says she has several a week, and..."

"Of course, she does. The law of averages practically guarantees it!"

"Branson, this isn't about her." She was getting angry now. "If you were going to give me an orgasm, it would have happened by now, so I need to have sex with other men! There I said it."

"B-b-but, Cammie, you can't be..."

"Listen to me, Bran. I can't cheat on you, so I need a divorce."

"I see. You're going to tear apart our family, just so you can have an orgasm?" he huffed. "By-the-way, how do you know you've never had an orgasm? Is the sex with me that bad?"

"No honey, I enjoy having sex with you. "It's very, ahh, pleasant."

"Shit, that's an ego boost."

"Bran, honey. I don't mean to hurt your feelings. I really do enjoy sharing that intimacy with you. It's just that, well, I want fireworks going off, bells ringing, rockets exploding..."

"Enough, Cam. I get it." Branson collapsed into his recliner, dumbstruck at how quickly his night went to shit. He noticed the Cardinals had fallen behind by three in the eighth.

Crap! Could this night be any worse?

He placed his head in his hands and stared at the floor.

"And, who's talking about tearing our family apart, Branson?" She had a perplexed look on her face.

"That's what usually happens in a divorce, Cameron. Did you think for one minute how this would affect Joplin and Arnold? You remember our kids, right?"

"Honey, you are overreacting here. I said I want a divorce, not a separation. Everything else would remain the same as always."

"Huh?"

"It's just a formality, Bran. We get divorced, but our family life stays the same. We don't tell the kids, our parents, or friends. No one sees any difference at all! I just can't cheat on you, so we get the divorce. It's really very simple."

Bran remembered something his twice divorced father told him years ago.

'Bran, all women go insane eventually.'

He was starting to understand what he meant now.

Suddenly, Branson had an inspiration. "So, thirteen years of marriage, and now you tell me I suck in bed?"

"Bran, honey, I didn't say that, exactly. What I mean is, well, I guess..."

"Look, Cammie, from what you've told me, you think I'm the problem, right?"

Cameron just shrugged her shoulders.

"What if I'm not? We were both virgins out of high school. So, I think you might be on to something here. We get divorced but continue living together. You have sex with other men, and I'll have sex with other women. It's only fair, and in the end, we may learn which of us is the problem?"

"Uh...maybe...I'm overreacting a little, Bran."

"You think, Cammie?"