For the next two years Kirby and I kept up our off again on again relationship. Sometimes Nick would be home the entire time I was there and Kirby and I wouldn't connect.
Somewhere along the way it occurred to me that Kirby and Carol were carbon copies of each other and I began to wonder if Carol was doing it for the same reason Kirby was. I don't mean cheating on me because I was cheating on her because until Kirby I never had. But was she with Monroe because she was just too horny when I was on the road? Was she telling Jason what Kirby was telling me? That she loved her husband, but had to have a sexual outlet when I wasn't there?
I decided that I needed to find out just what the deal was with Carol and her lover. The problem was that there wasn't any easy way to do it. I could put a tap on the phone at the house, but it didn't look like Carol ever lived there while I was gone. I could put a recorder under the seat of her Mustang, but it would only be good for maybe eight hours of the several weeks I'd be gone and I didn't want to waste a ton of money on a private detective. I just had to gamble on Carol and her lover talking on the phone while I was home. That didn't seem likely since they had all day to talk to each other at work.
I thought about it for a bit and then decided that I would try and set Carol up. I would tell her after she got home from work on Friday that I had to take a car to the state fairgrounds for the weekend and that it wouldn't make any sense for me to drive all the way home just to turn around and go back five hours later. Then I would tell her that I would probably be leaving Monday for a two week shoot in Charlotte.
I put a voice activated tape recorder under the seat of her Mustang and rigged one to tape calls on the home phone and then I kissed Carol goodbye and went fishing. I came home Sunday night and Carol damned near killed me in bed.
"I've got to stock up for when you are gone."
I'd already arranged to take a half a day off work on Monday so Sunday night I got the recorder out from under the seat of the Mustang and Monday I left for work at my regular time. I hit Wal-Mart for a few things and then came home after Carol had gone to work. There was nothing on the car recorder, but there was something on the phone tap.
"Hello?"
"It's me."
"Carol?"
"You sound surprised."
"I am. You never call when your husband is home."
"He isn't home. He is on an all night location at the state fairgrounds."
"Does this mean you are coming over?"
"Of course not. You know the rules. When Rob is home I'm his and his alone."
"But you just said he's not home."
"You know full well what I mean. He may no be in the house at this exact moment, but he is home. The reason I'm calling is to let you know he will be leaving Monday for two weeks. I'm calling to remind you to load up on condoms if you expect to spend time with me."
"You are really going to do it?"
"Yes I am."
"You know I don't like using condoms."
"Tough shit Jason. If you want to keep seeing me you will start using condoms."
"Your plan isn't going to work you know. I've always said he is more interested in his job than you."
"What you are saying is that you hope my plan won't work because you know if it does you won't be having me any more."
"I'm not worried about that because I know he won't leave his job just because you get yourself pregnant."
"Of course he will. He has a wife who loves him and who is crazy about him and he will have a beautiful child that he will have to help raise. He will want to stay home with us."
"But..."
"No buts Jason. I've already gone off the pill. If you want to continue with me until I give Rob his child you WILL use condoms. And Jason – don't get the cheap ones. You won't like what I'll do to you if one of them breaks. See you at work Monday. Bye."
I sat there staring at the recorder as I digested what I'd just heard. She didn't say it outright, but it was easy for me to infer that she was doing just what Kirby was doing – using a fill in when hubby was gone because she needed sex. She pretty much said that Jason was history when I started staying home full time, but the most monumental fact was that she was willing to get herself pregnant to try and keep me home. Before we were married we had talked about kids. I wanted two, a boy and a girl and Carol wanted none. In fact she flat out told me that if having a family was important to me then I should let her go and find some one else.
"I love you" she told me, "But I will not under any circumstances be having babies."
I loved her and I wanted her and so I had accepted that I would never have a family and I married her. And now here she was deliberately going to let herself get pregnant so she could get me to stay home with her. That one phone call flipped my world on its ear. Jason had a point. I did love my job. I made damned good money at it and before listening to that phone call I would have taken the job over Carol in a heartbeat because of her affair with Jason. Now? I just didn't know.
Monday when I came home from work I told Carol that the Charlotte trip had been cancelled and then in a joking manner I said:
"I guess you will just have to call your boyfriend back and tell him you won't be free after all."
I watched her face as I said it, but she just smiled at me and said in a joking manner:
"Damn. He will be so disappointed. I guess I will just have to be satisfied with you" and she drug me off to bed.
After Carol fell asleep I laid there staring up at the ceiling and wondered just what I was going to do.
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Over the next two months I passed on two locations – a three day shoot in Miami and a four day shoot in Atlanta – so I could stay home with Carol. I had no idea what transpired at the office between Carol and Jason, but there was never anything on the recorders. Carol came straight home from work every night and I occasionally spot checked on her during her lunch hours and while she did have lunch with Jason a time or two it was straight from work to the restaurant and then straight back to work. I got to where I really believed that as long as I stayed home Carol was mine and mine alone. Our sex life was great. Carol never seemed to get enough and I began to understand why she needed a stand-in while I was gone for weeks at a time.
My attitude toward Carol changed a hundred and eighty degrees. She was no longer just a house keeper and sexual outlet for me when I was home. My feelings for her got back to where they were before I found out about Jason. Hey! I am not a hypocrite. She'd had Jason but I'd had Kirby so neither one of us could hold the high ground on the issue. Granted that she had started long before I did, but I had come to understand why.
The inevitable happened and a three week location in Palm Springs came up and I had to take it. The long shoots were where the money was and that is why I worked – to make money. When I walked into the lounge I didn't see Kirby. I took a seat at a table and Linda came up and said:
"Welcome back."
"Is Kirby here?"
"She's on break. I'll let her know you are here."
She took my drink order and a few minutes later Kirby showed up with my drink and as she set it down in front of me she said:
"I wondered if I would ever see you again."
"Have I been replaced?"
"No. Nick has gone through an uncommonly long stint at home."
"Does that mean we are not likely to connect while I'm here?"
"I don't know. How long are you going to be here?"
"Supposed to be three weeks, but you know how that goes. I could be out of here in two or still be here in five,"
"Nick hasn't said anything about having to leave so I don't honestly know if I can see you or not."
"I'm in room 216 at the motel in case you want to call."
"You won't be here nights?"
"Why? So I can watch you and know I can't have you? I may stop in from time to time, but no way am I going to come in here and sit for hours knowing that I'll be going back to my room alone."
"I'm sorry baby, but you have always known I'm Nick's when he is around."
"I know sweetie." She left to get back to work and after I had two drinks I headed back to the motel. Nick never did leave town and at the end of the shoot I headed home. It did not help my mood any to think on the fact that Carol was getting fucked on a regular basis while I was gone and I hadn't even gotten a sniff.
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It was two months before I got another trip to California and during that two months Carol did everything she could think of to try and wear me out and keep me worn out. There were times I wondered if she might not have to sneak off to see Jason even though I was home.
I kept waiting for Carol to tell me she was pregnant, but it didn't happen and I began to wonder if my little swimmers were up to the task. Then I wondered if it might be Carol. How ironic would that be? She doesn't want a family and then she decides that she does want a little one to tie me down at home, but she can't conceive.
Anyway, I got to Palm Springs and when I hit the lounge that night Kirby told me that Nick had been gone a little over a week and she would love to spend some time with me if I would like. Does a duck walk barefoot on the beach? We spent every night for the next nine days together and on the tenth night we were just recovering from a rather strenuous coupling when the phone rang. It was Linda calling to tell Kirby that Nick had just been in the lounge looking for her. Kirby was out of bed, dressed and on her way out the door in less than five minutes and I resigned myself to being alone for the rest of my trip.
The next night when I got back to my room there was a message for me to call Linda.
"Kirby is in the hospital. Nick found out what she was doing and he hurt her pretty bad. I think he is looking for you."
He found me, but I don't think he was too happy that he did. It was about eleven when I heard the knock on the door. I was alone on the shoot so it wouldn't be anyone I worked with and Kirby was in the hospital. I went to the window and pulled the curtain back a hair and looked out. I saw a guy I didn't know, but the tire iron in his hand told me who he was. I went to the door and made a lot of noise with the security chain against the door so he would hear it and then I stepped off to the side and pulled the door open.
He heard me with the chain so he thought I would be standing right in front of him when I opened the door. The tire iron swished through empty space and I grabbed his arm and pulled him into the room and then used his forward momentum to pull him across the room and slam his head into the wall. It dazed him, he dropped the tire iron and then I beat the living fuck out of him.
"Not so easy when it isn't a woman is it fuck face" I hollered at him as I kicked him in the ribs, head and nuts. I picked up a towel and used it to keep my finger prints off the tire iron and then I picked it up and gave him three hard shots to the right knee. I grabbed him by his collar, pulled him out of my room and hoisted him up on the railing (I was in room 212) and then I pushed him over. If he was lucky the bushes that lined the edge of the parking lot would break his fall. If he missed the bushes? Tough shit! It had been a very hot day and maybe the asphalt would be soft. Then again, maybe not.
I went down to the restaurant and used the pay phone to call the front desk and then I disguised my voice and told them that I had just seen a drunk fall off the second floor walkway. I hung up and went across the street to the Oasis and had a few beers. About a half hour after I got there one of the cocktail waitresses asked:
