Anniversary

Anniversary

I had a couple of scenes bouncing around my noggin that served as the seeds for this story. And I wanted to explore a bit what somebody's mental state might be after learning of a wife's affair.

As is typical of me, there's very little sex, lots of repetitions, full of minutiae, and navel gazing.

One Year Ago, Monday:

I was curled up in a ball on the floor of my Seattle hotel room.

ANGUISH PAIN DESOLATION PAIN BETRAYAL HEARTACHE PAIN GRIEF MISERY TORMENT PAIN TRACHERY DEVASTATION DESPAIR AGONY DESOLATION HEARTACHE AGONY DESOLATION HEARTACHE AGONY DESOLATION HEARTACHE AGONY DESOLATION HEARTACHE AGONY DESOLATION HEARTACHE HEARTACHE HEARTACHE HEARTACHE HEARTACHE HEARTACHE BLACKNESS...

When I finally woke up still on the floor I was not the same man who had collapsed there in the morning. There was a certain calm, a centered-ness that I felt. For the first time in weeks I didn't feel despair.

From the light coming in the window it looked to be early evening. Glancing at the bedside clock it was 6pm; I had been down for over 7 hours. I had no real recollection of my time in hell; except I ached all over.

I had shat and pissed myself, and from the looks of the carpet had thrown up everything I'd eaten since yesterday. I had dried snot and tears streaking my face.

First order of business was to get a scalding hot shower and get into some clean clothes. That got me feeling somewhat human again. Then I felt hungry, time for some food.

As I walked to the elevator I realized I had real physical pain; my ribs hurt, clearly from all the crying and sobs that had wracked my body. As the elevator was going down I felt my left hip and shoulder ached; probably because I had been lying on the hard floor for hours on my left side.

Walking up to the reception desk, "Excuse me miss, I'm sorry to be a bother, but I've been sick in my room. Something I ate last night made me violently ill today and I'm afraid I've made such a mess of my room that I'm going to need you to move me to another unit. And of course I will pay any additional charge for the cleanup of my original room. "

"Mr. Carson, I'm very sorry to hear that. Of course we can get you another room. Do you require medical assistance? We have a staff nurse on hand; it would only take a moment to have her check you out."

"Miss, that is an excellent idea. One can't be too careful, although I must say whatever was ailing me has passed and I feel like a new man."

Ten minutes later I was heading into the hotel restaurant having been pronounced fine by Nurse Simmons. Other than a slightly elevated blood pressure, I appeared OK. I told Reception that I would be getting dinner and afterwards I'd stop by for a new room key.

Once seated my server came by, "What can I get you this evening sir?"

"I'm feeling famished, I'd like to start out with a hearty cab and a steak. I notice you have ribeye on the menu, can I have it my way?"

"Of course sir, how would you like that prepared."

"I'd like it medium rare, well seared on the outside, cooked with real butter and some rosemary. And when you bring it out, please make sure there's a pat of butter on top. No veggies."

"Just the steak and the wine sir?"

"You have understood me perfectly. I'm feeling rather carnivorous and want to indulge. If you would bring me the wine now, I can sip it until the meat arrives. You know what; throw on a small baked potato, maybe some carbs would be good right now."

The wine was indeed fortifying, but I only sipped; my stomach being completely empty. I took stock of my mental state; although they say if you're insane how can you tell?

I wasn't feeling emotionless, I thought about my kids and I felt a warmth infuse me. Kate and Sean had turned out to be two very fine young adults; I was so very proud of them. Then I thought about my mom, and again I felt a good feeling. How about my in-laws? I visualized Tom and Janice and felt affection borne out of the 30 or so years I had known them. How about Tina, my sister in law? Yup, mostly positive, although she was a handful. We'd had our disagreements, sometimes loudly over the years.

And finally my wife, Marie. No pain, no anger; just a kinda sadness. Ok, let's go down that path - sadness? Yes, that's what I felt. Like she was gone away and wasn't coming back. I had somehow said my goodbye's back here on the floor of my room to the woman who I'd been married to for 26 years.

Ok, so I think I'm OK. Now what? Just then the food came. Oh my goodness, that first bite was so delicious. Hah! I had to wipe some butter off my chin, I was enjoying his entirely too much. And the potato, I'd never had such a baked potato before. Maybe in my weird state my taste buds were working overtime. Too much psychoanalyzing, more chewing. Before I knew it the steak was gone, I'd eaten half the potato and my glass was empty. I was really going to have to pay more attention; I couldn't continue to enter fugue states at the drop of a hat.

"Will there be anything else sir. Dessert perhaps?"

"You really are a mind reader young man. I'd like some coffee, and bring the cream. You wouldn't happen to have a slice of chocolate cake back there in the kitchen?"

"Coming right up sir."

More heaven, the cake was moist and flakey. And the coffee was perfect. When most of the cake was gone I sat back into the softness of the booth and savored my full belly. 'Eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow we die.' I wonder who that quote was from, no matter. I was certainly going to live.

Although, to be sure I had some unpleasant business to attend to. Starting with going back into the abyss that my old room represented to retrieve my possessions. Once settled into the new room, maybe some more relaxing. I decided that going over the PI report again would have to wait until morning. I was sure it wouldn't have the same effect it had on me this morning, so I was in no hurry.

Once in my new room I changed into some pj's and turned on the TV. I checked my phone for messages and finding none I decided to send one to Marie. 'tough day, had dinner, relaxing in my room. Up and at 'em tomorrow. Love you.' There, that should indicate that everything is normal.

My contentment let me review the last month more or less dispassionately. It had all started when Sean called me at the office to say he wanted to take over paying for the family wireless plan. He said he was making good money now, but there was no reason to break up the good deal we were getting; even though he wasn't living at home any more. I had set everybody up when the kids were in high school and we'd had the same plan since then.

I told Sean that I didn't even know what the monthly amount was. I had set up auto pay out of my credit card and never looked at the wireless bill, much less looked at the card statement. I told him I'd dig up the account password and make him the primary and he could take it from there.

When I went into the account and looking for how to change the primary I noticed how much data was being used. I expected that of Kate and Sean, but Marie's usage was just as much as the kids. Odd, I'd never noticed she was such a heavy texter.

Going into the details I noticed that Marie mostly texted to one number. More oddness, I got out my phone and looked up Tina's number, thinking Marie was texting up a storm with her sister. Nope. Her folks? Nope. Her BFF Sandra? Nope. Those numbers were certainly in there, but Marie was texting that one number as much as the rest combined. Hmmm.

You can't see the contents of text messages, but I wondered if I could do a reverse lookup somehow. Yup, our provider offered just such a service. Steve Saunders! That's Marie's boss, why would she be texting him so much? The see each other at the office every day.

You know those scenes in a movie where they zoom the focal point of the shot on the main character? You've seen it I'm sure. The character centered in the screen but the background rushes past him as if he's in a warp drive. That's what I experienced right there in my office.

That feeling was accompanied with a montage of thoughts. Steve and Marie dancing too close at the last Christmas party. Marie working late every Tuesday. Never seeing Marie texting anyone. Our intimate life slowed to a crawl these last couple of years. Marie dressing nicer going to the office. Can't take her out to lunch, she's always too busy. Lack of general affection. Check, check, and check. I'd read enough Literotica stories to realize I'd just gone down the cheaters checklist.

It couldn't be true, my Marie!? Having an affair with her boss! Nah, couldn't be true. It just couldn't. So I finally found the admin page and made Sean the account owner. I closed down that app and chided myself for being so foolish.

But doubt is a persistent worm, and it had gotten into my guts. The next few days were weird, every move, every comment Marie made to me was viewed through a different lens now. That was certainly not healthy. I tried for a week after that to not think of such a dark possibility. But my suspicions were starting to weigh me down. Amy my admin noticed. Marie noticed too. I begged off both of them by claiming I was working on a particularly thorny client problem.

So, ten days after the wireless bill incident I found myself in the offices of Charter Investigations. My firm had used them for background stuff, and so Carl Charter agreed to meet with me personally about a 'delicate matter.' After all we'd been good clients of theirs for some years.

"Mr. Carson, how can we help you? I hope you don't suspect any of your employees of wrongdoing?"

"No Mr. Charter, I'm afraid this is personal. I would like you to surveille my wife to determine if she's having an affair with her boss." There, I'd said it out loud. It sounded so ludicrous to my ears, but I needed to put my suspicions to rest.

"Oh no! Gary are you sure." In 11 years we'd been doing business he'd never called me by my first name before.

"Yes, Carl, I'm afraid that is what I suspect."

Contract signed, retainer handed over, a month surveillance package agreed to. Carl said he'd put his best person on this, he didn't name the investigator but from the sound of it she was a woman.

"Gary, we also need to bug your house, your wife's car, her purse, and maybe her office. What day would be convenient for my operatives to pay you a late night visit? If you can guarantee your wife sleeping soundly, we can be in and out of your house in less than two hours."

"Well, Tuesday nights she usually knackered from working late. She has grabbed a bite at her desk (yeah right!) and just has a glass of wine when she finally gets home before falling asleep."

"Good, good. Tuesday is tomorrow so we can be ready. Here's what I want you to do, does your wife have any sleeping aids? Good, good; tomorrow when she goes for a glass of wine join her and slip her half a tablet of her usual. That should guarantee she won't hear us. And it'll give us complete access to her phone and purses. Does she put her car in your garage? Good, good; this should be quite easy."

At midnight Tuesday, I opened our back patio door to let in three of Mr. Charter's people. They were dressed like ninjas and were all business. Two set themselves up at our kitchen table, and another went into the garage. I went upstairs and brought down all of Marie's purses and her phone. While I was in our bedroom I shook her and all she did was snore a bit louder - out like a light.

The girl put Marie's phone in some kind of cradle that was hooked up to a laptop. She got busy pounding away at the keyboard while the other guy got to work on the purses. He brought out some X-Acto knives and a hot glue gun. He sliced the lining of a purse and inserted what looked to me like a USB stick. Then some hot glue, and on to the next purse.

It had only been about 30 minutes when Garage Guy came back in, "Mr. Carson, do you know where the phone and internet lines enter the house?"

I remembered when the cable guy had come to do some maintenance and so pointed to the northwest corner of the house. Garage Guy picked up his pack and out the back door he went.

It had now been about an hour since they arrived and Purse Guy asked if my wife ever used a fanny pack or the like when exercising. I told him that she belonged to a gym, and the big blue purse already on the table was what she used on those days.

"Does your wife have a gym bag?" So off to the master bedroom to fetch Marie's gym bag from the corner where she usually threw it.

Garage Guy came back after what seemed like only five minutes. "Are we all done, are you in yet?"

Phone Girl, "I was in within minutes, I've been installing the monitoring agents and downloading her complete history; she never deletes anything. I should be just about,... DONE."

"OK, Mr. Carson, please return the purses and your wife's phone back EXACTLY as you found them. OK guys, let's blow this popsicle stand."

And then they were gone. I sat at the kitchen table for a few minutes and wondered what I had just done...

That was a very stressful month for me. I won't go into details but everybody around me tiptoed as if I was a bomb. At the middle of week five I got a call from Mr. Charter.

"Mr. Carson, I have the report. Can you come to my office this afternoon?" I really didn't like the sound of that. But the timing was pretty good; I was scheduled to be in Seattle all next week so would have plenty of time to process if it was bad news. The time until 2pm crawled.

"Gary, before we go any further I want to give you some advice. I've been in this business for over 25 years and I want to make sure you're going to be ok. It is as you feared. Inside this packet is an executive summary, a set of transcripts, audio, video, and still pictures all in chronological order. We have been very thorough, we have documented every move, every conversation, every meeting between your wife and her boss. It's all in there."

"And now my advice, go somewhere where you can be alone and read the executive summary. Then if you want some details read the transcripts. But I would advise you to not listen to the audio nor look at the pictures or video. Can you do that?"

"Carl, it just so happens I have a business trip coming up for next week. I've got to visit our Seattle office."

"That's good, Seattle if far enough away that you can process all this before deciding what to do. Can you hold off going through the packet until you get to Seattle?"

And so I travelled to Seattle with a literal bomb in my briefcase. Which brings us up to date, because I didn't follow Carl's advice - I watched a video on my laptop first thing when I got to my room this morning.

I sighed and went over to the window. I had to admit the view of the bay from the Four Seasons was great, and I was up high enough that I had a good one indeed. What the hell was I going to do now?

One Year Ago, Tuesday:

In the morning I was feeling more or less normal and so decided on a nice breakfast. Three eggs, sunny side up, bacon, and coffee. I was in a good mood by the end of my second cup. OK, enough delay, time to go over the packet thoroughly. But I wanted to start with the vid that gave me the psychotic episode. Let's see if I really am in a better more controlled frame of mind. Back up to my room, selected the most recent Tuesday and hit play.

"Babe, we're gonna try something new. Sandra told me about it and I promised to try it with you the next time we got together. You're gonna stick that wonderful cock of yours in my butt, but instead of your usual pounding (which I love by the way) you're going to go at a medium pace. I'm gonna be fingering my clit in the meantime to try and come at the same time you do. And here's the cool part, when you're coming you have to hold really still, Sandra says that this will enhance my orgasm as I cum while you're cock is pulsing inside of me."

I fast forwarded through the rest of this session, Steve did as he was instructed and they both collapsed on the bed. After a few minutes they both got up and went into the bathroom; to clean up I guess. When they came back out they started to put their office clothes back on.

"Steve that was the single best orgasm I have had with you in the three years we've been getting together. We are definitely going to have to add that to our regular program."

"Anything for you Marie, if it makes you hornier for me, I'm all in."

"Good because I have a great, and naughty, idea. You know that Chicago conference next month? Let's get signed up for that and go. But we won't attend the conference, we'll stay in as much as we can and I can spend lots of quality time impaled on my favorite joy stick. The bonus is that it will be our three year anniversary, so we can celebrate it in style."

There it was, a jackpot of sorts. Three years; noted. Sandra knows; noted. The affair is ongoing; noted. Chicago getaway; noted. Also noted that Steve was in great shape, with abs and everything. And his cock was definitely bigger than mine. Oh well, he was ten years younger.

I really didn't need anything more than that, but I wanted to be thorough. There was no way I was going to watch any more vids or listen to them cooing at each other. Luckily Charter had provided chronological transcripts of everything with the electronic copies and I could scan for more information. I had learned to speed read in high-school and it had served me well over the years.

It didn't take as long as I thought; they really didn't talk about anything of substance. It was mostly logistics; where, what time, etc. But I did notice that all they really did was fuck, and plan when they were going to fuck again. There 'relationship' seemed one dimensional. Another thing was that they didn't mention me or Steve's wife, Claire. It was if when they were together they were in some world apart from the real one.

The third thing I noticed was that they seemed to get together on Thursday's on company time. Long lunches, even using Steve's office on occasion. He did mention that he'd been using his corporate card for their trysts; he didn't want Claire to see any unusual charges on their statement. Hmmm, I wondered if there were any other things he was pulling at work. Maybe his cheating extended beyond keeping his side piece happy?

Lunch time, whatever kinda state I was in mentally I was burning calories at an accelerated rate. I'd been at it since about 8am and now at 1pm I was famished again. So back down to the restaurant for a burger and fries - hold the bun. I gotta watch my waist after all. So I decided to take a walk down at the Waterfront Park; a little fresh air might help me figure out where to go from here.

It was a gorgeous day, perfect for some navel gazing, as in belly button son. (read that in Foghorn Leghorn's voice). First of all, how did I feel? Was this a false calm I was feeling, had I gone off the deep end? And what about fouling my first room, what was that about? That was such a violent, over the top reaction; I needed to think about that.

Marie was more than my wife - she was my foundation, my bastion against the outside world, keeper of the home front, my best friend, lover, mother of my children. But it went deeper than that, it was primal; she was my mate. I had bonded with her, she was not standing next to me, she was a part of me; just as much as my right arm, or my lungs.

That was why my body and mind reacted he way it did yesterday. The very fabric of my world had been torn apart. My wife, my Marie, had broken our trust, had shared her most intimate self with another man. She broke the most basic covenant between a man and a woman. No wonder I descended into the abyss, my mind and heart just couldn't cope with that.