It was at a birthday party for mutual friends that Arnold ran into Andy. They'd known each other for quite a while, but Arnold hadn't really seen Andy since his recent wedding to Wilma.
Too recent a wedding, Arnold thought, for the pair to be looking so out of sorts with each other. It appeared that there was a bit of marital discord in the wings.
"A wise and discerning man," thought Arnold, "knows that where marital discord is concerned, you don't go near it without a policeman at your side and two attack Dobermans, slavering on their leashes."
Arnold considered the problem. Then he considered Wilma. Red haired, beautiful, skin like cream, eyes like emeralds, a figure that Venus herself would have envied, and quite vivacious, except when she talked to Andy. Something had to be done.
A little bit of manoeuvring had Arnold chatting to Wilma in short order, and as far as he was concerned she confirmed his first impressions. She was a lovely and vivacious young woman who had a shadow pass over her when her husband was mentioned.
Moving on, Arnold was soon talking to Andy. Eventually cutting him out of the group they were with, Arnold raised the subject uppermost in his mind.
"You have a lovely wife, Andy. I was quite charmed by her. So what's gone wrong?"
"What? Nothing. I don't know what you're talking about," returned Andy.
"Bullshit," drawled Arnold. "It's obvious to me that something's badly wrong and it looks to me like you need someone else to help you straighten it out."
"Even if there was, you wouldn't be able to help," Andy told him, 'butt out' plain in his voice.
"Ah. Either a sex problem or a woman problem or both," observed Arnold. "If you tell me what, I may be able to refer you to someone who could have a chat with Wilma for you and help get things sorted out."
Andy glared at Arnold, half irritated, half hopeful.
"All right. I'm not saying this is what the problem is, but what do you do about a woman who doesn't like sex? Someone who just lies there and waits for you to finish?"
"I'd stop and wonder what I'm doing wrong," thought Arnold, manfully refraining from telling Andy that.
"Well, I'd probably get her to have a chat with someone who has experience and who likes sex," Arnold told Andy. He typed an address into his phone and sent it to Andy.
"If you send your wife to that address and get her to ask for Annie, she'll be able to discuss things with Annie. Annie, she'll find is a font of good advice. Just have her text when she wants to drop by and Annie will let her know if that's convenient. Can't hurt, can it?"
After spending another uncomfortable night with his wife, Andy decided any help must be better than none at all. Accordingly, he suggested to Wilma that she might give Annie a ring and discuss the problems they were having. He was quite willing to come along with her if she wished.
Wilma sighed. She knew that they were having problems, but she wasn't sure they were all her fault as Andy insisted. It might be nice to have someone disinterested to whom she could talk. She could always drag Andy along another time.
Wilma sent off a message to Annie, asking if she could drop by and see her. She received a reply saying that Annie would be available all that day. Did she have the address? Assuring Annie that she had the address, Wilma agreed to be there about two o'clock.
At two, Arnold opened the door and welcomed Wilma.
"Hi, Wilma. Come on in."
"Oh, hullo, Arnold," said Wilma, slightly confused. "I understood I was to meet Annie here?"
"Is Andy still calling me that?" asked Arnold. "It's a hangover from when we were kids. Everyone used to call me Arnie, but Andy had trouble with his R's and he'd just called me Annie. It caught on and soon all the kids used to call me Annie. It was the bane of my life for a while."
"Yes, I can see where it could be," said Wilma, "but you're a man," she added desperately.
"Well, yes, I am. So clever of you to notice," said Arnold, smiling.
"I mean, I was expecting to meet with an older woman who I could talk to," protested Wilma.
"Instead you're stuck with me, and you feel reluctant to talk to me because I'm a man and I couldn't possibly understand and there's no way in hell you're going to discuss your sex life with a man, especially one you barely know. Does that sum it up?"
Wilma nodded, mutely.
"Well, if it's any consolation to you, I already know what's wrong and who's fault it is. I just don't know the why of the problem," said Arnold.
"You can't," said Wilma. "How can you?"
"A minor matter for a man of my amazing talents," replied Arnold. "And also, Andy has no idea of how much he reveals when he thinks he's being clever and not saying anything."
"You asked Andy?" queried Wilma, outraged.
"Of course I asked Andy. You don't think he was going to volunteer personal stuff like that of his own bat, did you?"
"But why?"
Arnold smiled. "I was curious."
"You were curious. And you think that gives you the right to interfere?"
"Yes. Now shall we discuss your problem?"
"No. I'm leaving. And what makes you think it's my problem?"
"Because," said Arnold gently, "you freeze during sex and spoil it for Andy. It couldn't possibly be Andy's fault, because he's the man. The question is, why do you freeze? You don't know and Andy doesn't know but I may be able to help you work it out."
Wilma blushed.
"Why can't it be Andy's fault?" she demanded.
"Oh, please," protested Arnold. "How could it possibly be the man's fault? We're perfect. Just ask us. I have worked out a way for you to determine why you're having this problem, you know. Once you know why you'll be able to get Andy to adapt a little to help you with your problem, if you get my drift."
"I'm not dumb," sighed Wilma. "Effectively, it doesn't matter whose problem it is. I've got to adopt it as mine and persuade Andy to help me fix it."
Arnold nodded. "Much better for his ego if he's making allowances to help you, rather than finding he's got a problem that he has to fix."
"And men are all about ego?" asked Wilma, sarcasm dripping from her voice.
"Not all of us," protested Arnold. "Some of us are so superb that we can rise above that sort of behaviour."
Wilma glared at him.
"How can you make a comment like that with such a straight face?"
"Years of practice," said Arnold. "Would you like to hear my plan for helping you work out where the problem lies?"
Wilma sighed. "Seeing Andy told me to come and see you and I'm actually here, you might as well tell me."
"Don't sound so despondent," chided Arnold. "It's really quite simple. I'll make love to you until you freeze and then we can discuss why you froze and what you or Andy should do to get you past that point. It's not going to hurt my feelings if you suddenly freeze up and yell how dare you try to do such a dirty disgusting thing to me, but it may help you realise what's wrong."
"I see," said Wilma cynically. "I just get undressed and let you make love to me and everything is magically solved."
"For a start, you wouldn't be getting undressed while I pounce. I would tend to start very slowly, by kissing you while you're fully dressed, and see how things progress. Second, if you're freezing up, I won't be able to make love to you because you'll call a halt at that point. Third, if we seem to be going too far, you can call a halt at any time. I won't mind. And fourth, I won't guarantee anything will be resolved. For all I know it may turn out that you're a natural lesbian and the sight of a man is what is causing you to freeze.
Basically, it's a case of are you willing to take a chance and see where it leads?"
"I am not a lesbian," stated Wilma firmly. "I won't have to take my clothes off?"
"You won't have to take your clothes off to start. Again, I won't guarantee that you won't lose some of them as we progress, but it's not my intention to strip you."
Arnold paused for a moment, giving Wilma a quizzical look.
"Are you game to try? You can always call a halt if you feel you're getting out of your depth."
Wilma sagged slightly, seeming to lose a bit of energy. If she just went home and told Andy that she didn't want to talk to 'Annie' he'd get upset because she wasn't trying. Alternatively, if she stayed, who knew what might happen. Still, as Arnold said, she could always call stop if things seemed to be going wrong.
"What do you want me to do?" she asked.
"Nothing too arduous to start with. Just sit on the couch next to me while I kiss you."
Wilma sat nervously next to Arnold, who turned her face towards him and then gently brushed his lips against hers.
"See," he murmured. "Just starting small and moving in tiny steps."
He leaned forward and brushed her lips again.
Little butterfly kisses on her lips, just fluttering past. Her lips pressing forward to meet them, then seeing his lips dart away again, laughing at her. Wilma found herself smiling back, leaning forward and trying to catch them.