And…the Truth Will Set You Free…

And then I remembered her comments about needing to be hurt and about getting what she deserved. "Sarah, I'm confused about your comments earlier. What did you mean when you said you needed to be hurt and that I gave you what you deserved? You have done nothing to deserve either. I could not be more proud of the way you handled the whole wife swapping situation and invitation to join."

"And I truly appreciate your openness about your thoughts and desires when it comes to our friends. Yes, I do remember you telling me about your sexual exploits with a couple of girls in college. I always thought it was cool that you were so sexually liberated. Neither of us were virgins when we met and I have always appreciated the open-book approach we both took when it came to our sexual past, whether it was long-term partners or one-night stands. I love you even more for that honesty now."

I looked at her expecting to see relief in her eyes. Hadn't I just taken blame for this whole mis-understanding and apologized the best way I knew how? But I didn't see relief. I saw a worried face with a tear slipping out of each eye and trickling down her cheeks as she stared at me with a look of helplessness I had never seen in her. I rose to go around to her side and comfort her but was met with her hand coming up as a sign to stop. She then motioned for me to sit back down. Now I was really confused. What could possibly be bothering her now? I sat quietly waiting for her to speak. It took a long time.

"Thank you, Brian for what you said. I know I was wrong to keep it from you. I love you and I know you love me, too. I just hope you love me enough because...my comments from earlier about needing to be hurt and getting what I deserved were not about this whole wife swapping thing. It was about that 'other topic' I mentioned. It's about..." and then she buried her face in her hands and cried again. I didn't wait for the stop sign this time. I rushed around the island and swept her into my arms. She wrapped her arms around me, buried her face in my chest, and wept. After a long moment or two she stopped crying but continued to hold onto me. We just stood there motionless for several minutes. Finally, she gathered herself and asked me to sit back down across from her.

I sat down and waited as she dried her eyes. "You are correct, Brian. We were both adventurous sexually in college. Me probably more than you but we both had fun and told each other all about it. Except I didn't quite tell you everything." I thought for a second the flood gates were going to open again. Sarah lowered her head and sat in silence for a brief moment. She then took a deep breath, raised her head to look at me and picked up where she had left off.

"As I said, I didn't tell you everything. It's been eating at me for some time now. I tried to ignore it, hoping it would go away. But it won't, Brian. I'm so sorry I can't make it go away but I have to come clean. If you choose to leave, I will understand but I have to get it off my chest." I was really worried now. What could be so bad from our college years that she had been carrying it around all these years without telling me. One last deep breath from her and she began. "I will tell you one more time that I love you with all my heart. You will have to decide after this if you still love me."

"Ok, here goes... I met you my senior year in college. You were obviously already building your career in banking. I told you about all the guys I dated in college...Except for one. During my junior year I met and dated one of the basketball players. Get the idea?" I did but I remained silent and let her tell me. "Yes, he was black. His name was James and he was really nice. Kind of reserved and well mannered. Obviously, he was tall but he was also very handsome. Skin so dark it shined, a shaved head that glistened. His teeth were bright white against his black face."

I thought I detected a quick shudder rum thru her body as she described him. He obviously made a lasting impression on her. Although we had never discussed interracial dating it didn't come as too big of a surprise when she told me. It was becoming more and more common-place and socially accepted. It seemed she had drifted off, lost in her thoughts. It wasn't too hard to imagine what those thoughts were about.

To snap her back and to, hopefully show her I was ok with where this was headed, I asked, "So, how was he?" Her eyes suddenly seem to re-focus. "Huh...did you ask me something?" Smiling knowingly, I said, "Yea, I asked how he was...in bed, I mean." I doubt that she realized it but her face suddenly lite up and a smile covered her face as she once again seemed to drift off in a cloud of sexual remembrance. When she spoke again, she sounded giddy, like she was talking to one of her sorority sisters about a date the week before, not confessing to her husband about an experience from several years ago.

"Oh my god, he was fantastic in bed. What they say about black men having big cocks is true, or at least it was for him. It seemed like it hung half way to his knees. It was all I could do to take all of him in my pussy. And, he could fuck for hours. It seemed like I stayed in a state of constant orgasm when he was fucking me. Oh, my goodness, and he came by the bucket full. I could never swallow it all. Also, his hands were huge so you can imagine that his fingers were longer that some of the dicks I have fucked."

"I remember one time he was finger-fucking me with those long fingers and then slipped that long tongue up my ass. I think I passed out when I came. Remember earlier tonight when I fingered your ass while I sucked your dick and you asked where I learned it. He and I were watching an interracial porn flick one night and here was this white girl tonguing this black guy's ass as she jacked him off. So, we had to try it. We tried it of course but, after I ate his ass for a while, I sucked his cock into my mouth and slipped my finger in him just as he came, just like I did you earlier."

"I'm telling you, Brian, when I slipped my finger in his ass he must have cum a gallon. What I couldn't swallow absolutely covered the bed sheets. He went nuts and so it became a regular part of our fuck sessions. I even tried to take his cock in my ass one time but it was just too big. I wonder if I could take him in my ass now...?" I'm not sure if it was the mental flash-back of their fuck sessions or the thought of taking his huge black cock up her ass, but suddenly an orgasm consumed her body. Helpless to control it, she dropped her upper body onto the island as she shook in release.

The orgasm brought her back to earth. When she realized she had had an orgasm just from describing her sexual escapades with a black man, and that it was her husband she was telling about it, she turned and ran from the room in embarrassment. I could hear her in the hall bathroom washing her face and probably trying to compose herself. She finally eased back into the kitchen and sheepishly sat back down. Unable to look up, she mumbled slightly over a whisper, "I'm so sorry Brian. I don't know where that came from. I can't believe that happened and you didn't deserve to witness it"

I motioned for her to come around to my side of the island. She was reluctant at first, not sure of my intentions, but finally moved around and sat on my lap. I held her as she leaned against me. What she didn't know was that her story had had a surprising effect on me as well. Taking her hand, I placed it over my semi-hard erection. "See, you are not the only one who enjoyed your story. It's ok baby." I assured her. "That was years ago during college. We have always been open about the college years. We all did crazy things back then." Sarah gave my penis a couple of soft strokes and then moved her hand away, hugging herself as I held her.

Taking a deep breath and slowly exhaling, she spoke without looking at me. "So...you see, this is the reason for my earlier comments. It had nothing to do with the whole wife swapping thing. It's just that... its...well...I don't know how to say this without hurting you, but...I want him to fuck me again, Brian. I love you and would just die if I lost you. I know I sound crazy and I don't expect you to understand. I love sex with you, Brian. You are a fantastic, caring lover and you never fail to satisfy me. There is absolutely no reason for me to feel this way but I do and I just can't fight it any longer." Well I thought to myself, almost humorously...so much for me worrying about her fucking Mark and Scott.

Trying to reassure myself as well as her, I whispered to her. "Remember earlier tonight when I told you we could work thru this, no matter what it was? I still mean that Sarah. I have no idea where this is going but wherever that is, I will be right here by your side. That's a promise." She leaned harder into me and wrapped her arms around me in a tight hug. "Thank you for saying that, Brian. I love you but I don't feel like I have given you any reason to go on loving me. I'm so ashamed for feeling this way and I don't know what to do about it."

Trying to lighten the mood a little I asked "So...what became of him anyway? Did he make the NBA?" Her body tensed and I knew there was more. "No, he blew out a knee his senior year and dropped out of school. I never heard from him again..." And then after a pregnant silence, "That is until last month..." So much for lightening the mood. I guess she felt the need to create a little distance between us, knowing she would have to answer the next question. She slipped out of my arms and back around to her stool on the other side of the island. Without waiting for me to ask but still not looking at me she continued. "You see...that same James from college is now our pool guy." And so, there it was...the 'elephant in the room'.

Trying once again to keep my emotions in check I asked, "How did that happen?" Glancing up to try to interpret my mood she replied, "I'm not sure. I got a call from the pool service company a few weeks ago telling me I would have a different guy now. I thought nothing of it because those guys come and go regularly. Then that first Friday he showed up I saw him thru the patio door. I didn't recognize him at first but when I did, I about died. It was like a ghost from the past. At first I was afraid to go talk to him but finally realized it was unavoidable."

"He was equally as shocked when he saw me. He had heard thru some friends that I had married but he never expected to see me again. We talked for a few minutes and then I went back inside. He finished and left. I won't lie to you, seeing him again opened a flood-gate of memories. He was still as friendly and charming as ever. As hard as I tried, I couldn't get him out of my mind. By that Monday I had convinced myself that I was being childish and I should just forget the past and enjoy the wonderful life you provide for me."

"But then, he showed back up the next Friday and the mental struggle started all over again. I once again chatted with him a few minutes and left him to his work. But while we were talking, he was a little more forward. He was openly flirting with me, telling me how sexy I looked and how he had fond memories of our time together. I tried to play if off and tell him that was a long time ago and we had both changed. Then he flashed those pearly whites at me and I felt myself weakening. I knew I had to get away from him.

As I turned to go inside, he told me,

'You know Sarah, I don't really think we have changed all that much. You are still smoking hot and I think you still have feelings for me'

. I assured him that was not true, that I had a wonderful life and a husband I loved very much. He chuckled and told me to have a nice day. And then he challenged me.

'If what you say is true, prove it and call my boss and tell him to send a different pool guy next week.'

She seemed intent on emptying her soul and I was intent on letting her. I, by now, had a clearer picture of where this was headed. Did I want it to? No, I didn't think so. I loved Sarah and didn't want to lose her. I had never before dealt with the idea of her being with someone else. It just never crossed my mind. We seemed so compatible on every level, be it physical, mental, or emotional. I suppose that comes off as a little arrogant on my part but it's true.

But, if I truly didn't want her to fuck him, why did I become slightly aroused as she described her sex life with this black guy. Was I headed down the road to becoming Sarah's cuckold, sitting at home waiting while she fucked every black guy who caught her fancy? I knew without a doubt that was not the case. So...what did I feel? Sarah wasn't the only one feeling conflicted at this point. Finally, I spoke out loud what I knew to be the truth, "You didn't call his boss, did you?" Once again something on the countertop needed her immediate attention. So softly I could barely make it out she answered, "No."

"So...he obviously is still coming every week. How is that going?" The tension was back in the air. Hoping that a brief overview would suffice, she told me that he just came and did his job. They would chat for a few minutes and he would leave. Yes, he did still flirt but she had rejected his advances each time. I didn't believe that was the whole story, of course, but I had to bring out the unspoken truths. Taking a different approach, I asked, "So... what do you wear when he is here?" The questioning look was back on her face when she raised her head, she said, "I don't know. Shorts or jeans and a tee shirt. The same thing I wear every day. Why would it be any different on those days?" The deceit was back in her voice.

I almost hated what I had to say next but I knew I had to. Looking her square in the eyes I started, "Sarah, the only way we can ever get thru this and maintain the level of trust that is absolutely necessary for us going forward is for you to be completely open with me. I know you are embarrassed. I know you are dealing with conflicting feelings right now. So am I. Listen, you have already told me about your past with James. You have already admitted you want to fuck him again."

"I'm as not insinuating that I think that you have fucked him behind my back these last few weeks but, I'm almost certain there is more than casual conversation going on when he is here. I don't know how else to convince you that I love you and will always be here. Please be tell me the whole truth. Oh, and please take this as a reminder not a threat, but the security cameras also record the back yard and pool area and the system stores memory for 30 days."

And...then the tears were back. Not the full-on flood gate variety but a steady stream down each cheek. To her credit, she held my gaze and never looked away. Another deep breath as she wiped her eyes and she began. "I truly hope you meant what you said because the next few minutes will test that commitment. I doubt that I can hurt you any deeper than I have so there will be no more half-truths, I promise. I will apologize up front for what you are going to hear."

"What I told you about that first Friday is the truth. Just the initial surprise and we chatted for a few minutes. Everything I told you about our conversation that second time was the truth. He flirted and I rejected him. He challenged me to call and have a different person sent out. As you know, I didn't do that. What I didn't tell you was that when I went back inside I rushed into our bedroom, stripped my clothes off, grabbed my dildo from the night stand, and fucked myself thru three powerful orgasms, all the while imagining it was his black cock slamming relentlessly into my pussy, not the dildo."

"The next two weeks we on vacation in Jamaica so I obviously didn't see him those weeks. And, sorry but yes, I did think about him. Every time I saw a tall Jamaican on the beach or in one of the clubs, I imagined it was him and we were there together. I even got myself off in the shower a few times imagining some of the things we had done in college." I could see in her face just how painful this confession was. On some level, I truly felt sorry for her but knew we both needed for her to continue.

"The Friday after we got back from vacation, I walked out onto the patio wearing the swimsuit you bought for me while on vacation. That's right, the white string bikini. But I made a couple of alterations to it after we got home. I was going to surprise you with it but then James showed up and I couldn't resist. I had cut the liner out of the bottoms and the padding out of the bra. That turned it into just thin white cotton fabric. I swam a few laps while he was cleaning the pool. When I walked out of the pool toward him, he had an almost unobstructed view of my breasts and pussy. His cock was about to ripe his shorts. He begged me to fuck him but, somehow, I resisted. Needless to say, when I went inside, I headed straight to the bedroom and again fucked myself silly with my dildo.

A worried look on her face told me she was afraid she had gone too far and she asked if I was ok. I assured her I was and asked her to continue. Somewhat nervously she picked back where she had left off. "So...that takes us up to this past Friday. He was busy cleaning the pool when I again walked out onto the patio...but this time I was completely naked. He stood frozen in place as I walked up to him. I took his face in my hands and kissed him. Just touching him sent electrical shocks thru my body. I knew if I stayed there one second longer, I would end up fucking him. I pushed him away and dove into the pool. I was on fire. I was so close to giving in, Brian. I knew I would never forgive myself if I fucked him without your permission but I knew I had to do something. I got out of the pool and I rushed inside telling him I would be right back."

"When I returned, I had my dildo and the handcuffs we sometimes use on each other. When I walked out onto the patio, I stopped in my tracks. While I was inside, he had stripped off his clothes and shoes and jumped in the pool. He was now standing knee deep in the shallow end of the pool with water dripping off of the most beautiful black cock I have ever seen. I could only stare as it began to come to life. Even as it grew, it sagged under its own weight. It was all I could do not to drag him out of the pool and impale myself on that magnificent black monster right there on the deck. I became light-headed and had to sit down."

"To make matters worse, he began stroking it seductively as he stepped out of the pool and walked toward me. Oh my god, Brian. I was faint with lust. I wanted so bad for him to fuck me and at the same time I was afraid he would. Openly shaking with desire and unable to speak, I motioned for him to sit in one of the patio chairs. He wasn't sure what I was up to. I moved my chair directly in front of him, so close our knees were touching. Standing on wobbling legs, I walked behind him, pulled his arms back and cuffed him to the chair. Moving around, I stood in front of him. Leaning over, I kissed him again, this one lasted longer as I sucked on the same long tongue that had given my pussy and ass so much pleasure years ago.

Looking lustfully into his eyes I told him,

'James, I want to fuck you so bad I can't breathe. I remember how that long black cock felt in my pussy back in college and I would give almost anything to sink myself to the hilt on that beautiful black dick this instant...but, as much as I want to, I can't. You see I love my husband more than I love this black cock and I will not fuck you without his permission. And yes, I'm going to ask for his permission sometime soon. But for now, this is all you get.'

Looking down, I could see he was rock hard with pre-cum already oozing from the tip. With the middle finger of my right hand, I scooped up a drop of the cum and licked it into my mouth. I saw his cock twitch involuntarily.