And I Have No Name

Her name is Miranda, and she is one to be adored. She is 5 foot 1, thin, has the most beautiful red hair I have ever seen, and the cutest face that is speckled with freckles. No one could possibly resist her. Her breasts are the first asset on her that you notice. They are a B cup and incredibly perky. Her nipples are a magnificent shade of pink, they always stand erect, and they almost always peek through her shirt, making it impossible not to stare. Her ass is small but extremely tight. Her baby face, petite figure, and hairless body make it easy to mistake her for much younger than her actual age, which is 21.

I constantly see guys checking her out without regard for who is looking. She has a charm about her, which everyone seems to fall in love with immediately. Guys constantly cat call her, hit on her, and some are even bold enough grab her ass as we walk together. I, on the other hand, am a rather quiet guy. To put it in perspective, when people see us together, no one thinks that we are dating, they believe that we are friends, and some even guess that we are related.

I once asked her why it is that she decided to date me when she could be dating anyone else. What made me special? She answered, "I can talk to you and share things about myself, which I can't do with anyone else. But even beyond that, I can see something within you, the most beautiful essence I have ever experienced, and when we get really close, I can even feel it."

At the beginning of our relationship she informed me that she is polyamourous, something that I knew little about at the time. She gradually explained to me that she could love multiple people at the same time. It was almost a necessity for her to continually discover the beings of new individuals as they came into her life.

This was more than lust for her; although that became a large part of it for me, and something that began to creep into my fantasies. Being only familiar with monogamous relationships in the past I felt uneasy about this new information that had entered my life, but I eventually accepted what my girlfriend had told me. After all, I believed that everything she revealed to me was in the past. I understood sexuality to be fluid, and I very much thought it possible that she was no longer polyamourous, since meeting me I thought, she had discovered that a monogamous lifestyle suited her better. We talked about it, and she assured me that I was the only man for her. I felt at ease momentarily, but somehow, thoughts kept entering my mind, and insecurities ran rampant. What if her sexuality had not changed at all?

Our relationship progressed, and we fell in love. I wanted to spend all of my time with her. I discovered that I could not live without her, but within all of the beauty that existed in our relationship, my worries escalated.

She was much more experienced sexually than I was when we began dating, she also admitted early on that she has masochistic tendencies, which sparks much of her sex life. She loves being tied up, blindfolded, choked, slapped in the face, having her nipples bitten, her pussy slapped, and she even enjoys being beaten with a belt. There is one activity she loves more than anything though and that is getting spanked. If anyone mentions spanking in any context she oozes with wetness. It drips through her panties and stains anything she wears. At the mere mention of it she escapes to the bathroom to masturbate, one time I even heard her scream in pleasure as our friends were all together in the room next door. Her sexual appetite is insatiable. Many times she has pulled me into the bathroom of a public building in order for us to have sex. I have never felt a pussy as wet and as tight as hers, it is incredible every time. I yearn for her, I beg her, and yet she needs me to dominate her. I can never resist the feeling of draping her over my lap and spanking her as I feel her warmth emanate through my body. She moans out in pleasure and I spank her harder, for a long time she could never have enough and neither could I. She was the only other person I have ever met who was as horny as I was. Her record of masturbating seven times in one day shattered my personal high. Through all of the horniness and bdsm, our relationship remained based on equality and emotional understanding.

She looked intensely into my eyes and told me that she was "under his thumb." Jack, her ex-boyfriend, had complete control over her when they dated and their relationship was anything but equal. As we shared about our previous partners, I learned more about her sexual past. Miranda divulged that he was sadistic and powerful, and she loved him for that. It seemed like he was everything that I was not. She urges me to dominate her, but he naturally dominated her. Miranda explained how she masturbated to him constantly before they dated, she had never wanted someone so badly before. When they began to date she followed every word he said, and she worshiped him. She was always a staunch atheist, but he was a very religious Christian, predictably, she followed his lead. Her belief in God blossomed and her long time principles melted away at his command. She believed in everything he wanted her to believe in, he controlled every aspect of her being. All she ever wanted out of life was to please him. She loved every moment of it. She was constantly wet for him and it was the best sex that she had ever had.

My insecurities sky rocketed. As our relationship progressed, the sex decreased, and I became her best friend; something which is still extremely meaningful. Despite all of our sexual adventures at the start of our relationship I was not the one who was her ultimate sexual partner, Jack was. She still claimed that she no longer had any feelings for him or for anyone else, and she only wanted me. I tentatively took her word for it, but she had opened a previously untouched door and my fantasies began to run wild. I imagined her with other guys, and I was extremely turned on by the thought that she was not just my slut, but she was at one point someone else's slut, and she might have even enjoyed that more. I became enamored with the thought of her and Jack together.

I had never met him before, but I stalked his facebook, and I masturbated to old conversations of them flirting together, I couldn't control myself. Nothing had ever turned me on so much. I felt ashamed and confused at first. Why would I be so turned on by my girlfriend being with another man? Eventually, I came to realize that not every aspect of sexuality has a reason for its being, sometimes things just are the way they are and there is never anything to be ashamed of.

At my asking, she told me a story of one of her greatest sexual experiences. It was of little surprise to me that I had no involvement in it at all.

She described the story as follows: "Jack and I were in his living room, I watched as he played a game of Zelda. After I made a comment about the game, Jack basically called me stupid, and I became pretty hurt, which showed fairly obviously. He asked me what was wrong, but I didn't respond. He asked me again and once again I gave no response. This time he went over to grab me in order to force an answer out of me, but as he leaned over I ran upstairs. He chased after me, and we ended up in his room. He cornered me and tackled me to the floor, there I was pinned, unable to move. He asked me what was wrong, and I just shook my head. When I didn't answer again he took my shirt off. He asked again, I shook my head, and he took my skirt off. No response again, and he unclasped my bra. Finally, he took off my thong. I was completely nude on the floor in front of him. I had never been so wet in my entire life. He asked once again, and once again I only shook my head.

Now he began to take his clothes off. Each time I did not respond, another article of clothing came off. He straddled me, both of us completely nude. To my amazement, he began to rub his dick up against my pussy, it was the greatest feeling I have ever realized. Up until that point I was a virgin, and I had never felt a dick before. I couldn't take it anymore, I lost control of myself. I begged him to go inside of me, all nine inches. Even though it would hurt, I knew that I could take the pain. I pleaded with him, all I wanted in the world was for him to be inside of me. He just kept teasing me, but I was so wet that his dick kept sliding into me. I finally pushed myself into him and his dick glided inside. It felt as though all of my dreams had just been realized. He began to thrust into me hard but at a steady pace. It was then that I achieved the single greatest orgasm that I had ever experienced in my life. I orgasmed three more times as we had sex. After that, I begged him for sex constantly."

Once she told me the story I immediately masturbated. I masturbated three more times that day, and I continued masturbating to the story uncontrollably for months afterward. I entered a realm that I knew I could never leave. My greatest fantasy was now for my girlfriend to have sex with another man.

About a year afterward it became obvious that something was seriously bothering her. She said that she felt held back and constrained by our relationship, she said that she could not hide her polyamory anymore. I understood perfectly that it is not healthy to repress an aspect of yourself so I encouraged her to find interest in other guys.

She carefully began talking about men whom she found attractive, and then eventually she hinted at a guy she might have a crush on. I soon realized that there was no might, she did have a crush on him. She told me how she masturbated to him constantly and how she was always wet around him. I still felt insecure, but I encouraged it, and I told her about my perpetual fantasies over the years.

Throughout all of this, she moved at a slow pace, making sure that I was okay with everything that she was doing. At first, this was a time of emotional turmoil in our relationship, but we both became more accustomed to the situation and everything began to get easier.

I knew the man whom she had the crush on, Michael. He was taller than me, stronger than me, and better looking than me, I knew why she wanted him. She still did not know whether or not she felt comfortable actually initiating anything sexual with him, so they just continued to flirt and they told each other about their lives and their inner most desires.

She still found time for me, and our relationship was not injured, although it remained rather sexless. I eventually suggested that we should role play together. I would become the man that she was enamored with. She closed her eyes, and I became him. I laid her down on the bed, and I grew four inches. My muscles became larger, and I became more masculine. I became the man that I had always wanted to be. I kissed her, and she kissed me back in a completely new way, except she wasn't kissing me, she was kissing Michael. As I undressed her I saw how wet she had already become. I barely had to do anything, and she was already the wettest that I had ever seen her. When I touched her she moaned and called out his name. Michael. She asked Michael to go inside of her, and I did just that. She began to grind her hips back and forth as she imagined a larger dick filling her up. It was freeing. I became a new man. My insecurities melted away. Eventually she orgasmed and then begged me to cum inside of her.

Afterward, we talked for a while. We agreed that we would try more elaborate role playing scenarios. The discussion of her actually having sex with Michael came up, and she admitted that if he initiated anything, there would be no way for her to resist him. Miranda was beginning a new sexual experience with Michael, but she also did not forget about her old sexual experiences with Jack.

She admitted that deep into our relationship she continued to fantasize about Jack. She ran into him a few months back, and she described how it brought back a rush of memories. She told me that she got extremely wet, and she would have obeyed anything that he commanded of her without hesitation.

He will always be the greatest sex she has ever had, and it is clear that whenever she sees him, she will yearn for him to dominate her. She longs to recover that first command that he gave her, the first time she gave up all control, the first time her fantasies became reality.

Our relationship is now based on friendship, acceptance, and understanding. Our sex life has had a slight rejuvenation, and we are able to share some very special moments together, intertwined and in love.

When I am Jack or Michael though, our sex life erupts. She begs for me to go inside of her, and she imagines a world where her mind and body are controlled through a sadistic and powerful lover. After each experience though, Miranda looks into my eyes, clearly seeing through anything I have ever said, seeing beyond even anything that I have ever thought, into a darkness that exists within me, penetrating something I may never truly know. It is in those undeniable and unexplainable moments that I realize I have no name.