Am I Really That Bitter?

Eight years of marriage down the drain and for what? She just couldn't keep her legs closed. I find it hard to believe that men stay with slut wives just because they love them so much. I have given my all to this woman and the best she can say is "I'm sorry." Is sorry going to make the pain go away? Eight fucking years wasted on this slut. Well, as my grandfather all ways told me, "Life is what you make it."

Oh shit, I didn't introduce myself. I'm Mike James from Memphis, Tennessee, and the slut that I'm referring to is my wife Janice. She's from the third level of hell.

Now how can I say that about my wife of eight years? S-L-U-T. It just rolls of my tongue. It's like saying 'DIVORCE', it's said so smooth and harsh at the same time. How did we get to this point in our marriage? You'll have to ask the slut, I can only tell you my side. But it's not that hard to figure out, I came home early and BAM — right in the kisser.

I was coming home early from a long day on the docks. You see I'm a forklift driver; it doesn't pay millions but it gets the bills paid. I'm not the type of guy that yells, "Honey I'm home." That's just not me. But I'm not a moron either, so when I saw a strange car in the driveway I got worried.

It's not that I don't trust my wife — I don't trust anyone. I guess it's just my up bringing. My dad told me "Son, believe half of what a woman says and believe everything you see her do." So what I saw was Janice's face in some woman's pussy while getting her pussy plowed from the back. The guy had to be had to be about 6' 3". I'm only 5'10", so I backed out with out making a sound. I went down to the storage room and grabbed my son's baseball bat. No use in getting hurt over a tramp but I'll be damned if you're going to fuck the slut in my bed. They were still going at it and no one heard me come in.

BAM! It sounded like a homerun — to me anyway. The guy looked like he was about to shit himself. Janice jumped so hard she bit the woman's pussy and she (the strange cunt, not Janice) screamed.

"Well, well, well. What do we have here? Hummmmm. A slut and her toys?" It was the best I could come up with.

"Mike, honey, it's not what you think. Please let me explain, Mike. Please?" said Janice.

"This should be good," I said.

The man started to move. I slammed my bat into the door again.

"Don't move, dumb ass. I'd love nothing more than to beat your ass. So stay put, and no one will get hurt. That way when you leave you can take the whore with you."

The woman on the bed said, "Please don't hurt my husband! Besides, she invited us."

Why did she have to say that? DAMN, DAMN, DAMN! I felt like the world biggest moron, married to a slut. Could my day get any worse?

As we all stood there, I asked the guys' wife, "Was the whore any good?"

She said, "Yes, and she has been getting better each time we fuck."

That was news to me; my soon to be ex-wife was a carpet muncher.

I looked at the lover's wife and said, "Thanks for that. At least you're honest enough to let me know this wasn't the first time.

"Is there anything else I need to know? Am I the kid's father, or is that another lie you told me?"

As I asked this Janice looked a little pale. (Note to self: get a DNA test done on the kids!)

It was time to wrap the happy little gathering up.

"I don't care who you are or where you go, but when you leave take this trash out with you."

The man just looked relieved. His wife was still shaking, but otherwise okay, except for that bite mark on her clit. I couldn't help but notice the blood. It wasn't major but she would need some medical help.

"Mike, Please don't do this," said Janice.

"Is that the best you can come up with you fucking slut?" I said, a little louder than I wanted. Janice backed up onto the bed.

"Now as I said before, GET THE FUCK OUT!"

As I turned to leave Janice tried to get to me before I started down the stairs. I was faster than she assumed. By the time she got down the stairs, I was heading out the door.

For the next three hours I drove around looking for nothing, just wasting time. I really didn't want to see Janice.

My cell phone start ringing, I looked at the ID.

"Yes, mom. What's up?"

"Mike, what's going on with your family? The kids are here and Janice is at home crying. What did you do?"

"MOM! Let me get this right: my wife is crying and you think it's something that I did? Really mom? Something 'I' did?

"I guess she didn't tell you about my run in with her lovers today." There were a few minutes before she spoke again.

"Son, sometime a woman gets restless and does the wrong things but it doesn't mean she doesn't love you."

"Wow!" was all I could say. The only thing left to be said was, "Bye Mom."

That was a waste of time. Five minutes of 'you need to understand that women get restless.' A classic 'Oprah/Dr. Phil' moment.

Another half-hour driving around and it was time to face the viper. I pulled into the drive way and there sat three cars that I really didn't want to see — my mom's, Janice's parent's, and my uncle's. The 'save the marriage committee.'

My uncle's wife has cheated so many times she has her own room at the YMCA. She has been through every form of counseling except for one that works.

As I walked through the door Janice ran to me, trying to give me a hug. The look I gave her said, "Not Happening!"

"PLEASE MIKE! We have to work around this. We can be a stronger couple after this," said the slut.

"WOW!" I'm just thinking about how fast love can turn to hate.

I needed to calm down, so I walked past everyone. The kitchen was calling me in for a nice cold one. Bud Lite on a hot day or in this case would help me keep my cool. So into the kitchen I went, popped the cap and started to drink my nice frosty brew. I threw it back like a long lost friend. It went down so smooth, that for a moment I forgot I wasn't alone. The trio just stood there looking at me as I finished my brew.

"I needed that to be able to deal with this slut!" Oops. Did I say that out loud?

"Why are you guys here? Never mind. You must be here to help her pack. If we work fast, she can be gone before nightfall."

"Mike, we don't know what you're thinking," said my mom, "but we believe that you're smart enough to try and save this marriage."

"You guys will be the better for it," said Uncle Joe. Just as he finished my mom started in.

This went on for about two hours straight.

I think at some point my ears started bleeding.

"Ok, enough!" I got up from my chair, headed for the door and opened it, and there stood my back up. My dad was standing there just about to ring the doorbell when I opened it.

He looked at my mom and told her to get her ass home. She started to say something but thought better of it. My uncle looked at my dad and started to say something, but he got scared and left.

My dad looked me in the eyes and said, "Son, do what is best for you. Don't do it for your mom, uncle or your wife. Do it for yourself."

Then, just like that, he walked out got in his car and left. My dad had always been that way; he always got straight to the point and always did what he thought was right. Now with everyone gone, I was left to deal with the slut.

"Okay Janice, how do we handle this divorce? Nice and easy, or hard and fucked up?" It was up to me, but I wanted to know where we were headed.

"Mike, I know you're mad, I can see it in your eyes. You hate me at this moment, but what about next week, or next month? You could change your mind and decide to work it out. So why don't you take some time and figure out what you really want?"

Janice just stood there waiting, for my answer.

Against my better judgment, I said ok. She would give me time to think.

I said, "Check back with me in a couple of weeks."

Janice packed a suitcase and left. I didn't ask her where she was going and didn't care either.

Over the course of the week, Janice called me three times to see how I was feeling. I didn't really say much, I just grumbled and hung up. This went on for about a month. Then, on the first Friday of the next month, a man walked up to me and handed me a brown envelope and said I was served.

"What the hell do you mean, I am served?"

He said, "Your wife is filing for divorce under the grounds of mental cruelty."

I opened the package. She was asking for half of everything: spousal support and some of my 401k. I was stunned to say the least. So the bitch wants to play hardball, huh? Let's play ball bitch.

I went to my best friend in the world, Josh. When he got a divorce from his ex-wife, he would have eaten the kids to win. Josh hates his ex-wife so much he pays his child support in pennies. His ex-wife gets $680.00 in pennies. It take him about fifteen minutes to carry them to the front door. Josh tells her it's a good work out. When his ex-wife was about to get remarried, he found out where the boyfriend's stag party was and replaced the porn film with one of his ex-wife getting fucked by her boss and another man. Needless to say, the wedding was called off.

I told Josh what was going on, and in typical Josh fashion, he asked what was I prepared to do?

I must have looked confused because he had on his game face.

"Mike, divorce is war; it's like a full out battle. This bitch has drawn first blood. She has drawn a line in the sand," said Josh. "She has a plan and will take all you own if you don't get your head out of your ass and fight back." So once again Josh asked, "What are you prepared to do?"

"Josh," I said, "I'll be a homeless maggot before I give that slut my house."

"Mike, sit down and ask yourself if you are that bitter, because if you are we must come up with a battle plan."

Well it took about 30 seconds to say, "Fuck that slut. It's time for war."

Josh and I sat there for about four hours. The plan was in place. All's fair in love and war, and since love is dead, it's time for war. I left Josh's house, stopped by the store and got myself a digital camera. Josh was going to call his lawyer in the morning.

Josh asked me where she was living? Shit, I didn't know. He told me to follow her. It was about midnight when her shift ended. I sat in the back of the parking lot and watched her come out. A dark blue car pulled up and Janice got in. The car pulled away, drove for about 10 minutes and pulled in to this nice house. The house looked like it was owned by 'old money.' When Janice got out, the same bastard she had been caught with was grabbing her ass. I just clicked away. Then I drove off.

My meeting with the lawyer sucked. He said she was entitled to half of everything. And I may have to give up the house. We sat down and went over everything. I asked him to set up a DNA test for the kids and have it done soon.

I also stopped by the bank to take out all the money. The bank told me my accounts were frozen.

Not to worry, I still had my 401K to draw against.

Same thing there! Her lawyer had beaten me to it. I had about $3,000 in my rainy day fund, so I took out what I needed.

The next day the shit would hit the fan. I was tired from a long day, so I went home and by the time my head hit the pillow I was asleep. In my dreams I burned Janice at the stake like the witch she was. Around 6:15 am I was awaken by beating on the door.

"LET ME IN YOU SON OF A BITCH!" yelled Janice.

Oh well, the shit must be hitting the fan.

It took me about 10 minutes to get dressed and get to the door.

I asked, "Who is it?"

"You know who it is, you bastard," Janice replied.

"What can I do for you Janice?"

"Where the fuck is my car?" asked Janice.

"Your car? I don't have your car. Do you see it out there? Is your car in my driveway? Because I don't see it."

"Mike, it had all my things in there — my credit cards and all my important papers," whined Janice.

"I'm sorry for your loss Janice. Now can you get the fuck off my porch, you're attracting fleas, you bitch."

"Mike, we need to sit down and talk before the judge gives me everything. My lawyer said I would get it all," said Janice with a little smirk.

"Janice, you can't get blood from a rock. I don't have anything to give you bitch." Then I slammed the door and went back to bed.

It had been three months since the war had started. It was an all out assault, and Josh had been right. My attorney gave new meaning to the word, 'shark'. He was the type of lawyer that would sue his own mom for not feeding him blood when he asked for it.

Once again I look in the mirror and asked myself, "Am I really this bitter?"

I answered my own question when I asked to be repaid for the bed the slut used. I had burned it and bought new furniture. Since she cheated on it, she needed to pay to replace it. I also sued her lovers for failure to pay rent in my house. The judge threw it out, of course, but he did give it a little laugh. Next my attorney sued her for his fees, saying that Janice made more than I did. To prove his point, he used her lovers address as hers. The judge had no idea that she was shacking up with her lawyer and his wife. When the judge asked was there any proof, we gave him the pictures I took. Talk about a 'conflict of interest.' The judge wasn't happy and started disbarment paper work. Needless to say, her lover wasn't happy.

Then the next attack came for an unlikely source: my mom. My mother — the woman who gave birth to me — stood up in court and said I had a very bad temper and often took things too far, just like my dad. After she finished talking, she looked at me, but I just looked away. To me, she died that day.

My dad wasn't so nice. He told my mom to hit the bricks. He said any bitch that would turn on her own child didn't need to be married to him. My mom, tried to talk to my dad and me, but I didn't want to hear it. My dad said that they would talk at home.

I told my dad he was welcome at my house anytime but don't divorce her over me. "You've been married for 40 years, and need to grow old together." My dad gave me a sad look but knew I was right.

The last day of court was today, and I have gotten just about everything I wanted out of the house. If the judge gives it to her there won't be much left.

The judge looked at the both of us and said, "Mr. and Mrs. James, I see this all the time. Janice you got caught up in the moment. You cheated on your husband and now there's nothing left. You're a grown woman who knew better, and you did it anyway.

"Mike, you didn't listen to her, you took her for granted and now it's too late to fix this mess. Mike, people make mistakes all the time, we're human. That being said, Janice gets the house and one forth of your retirement. There will be spousal support in the amount of $600 dollars a month for three years. Mike do you understand all of this?"

I started laughing.

About thirty-seconds later two cops came in and told the judge I was under arrest. The judge asked what was going on?

One of the cops said, "This morning neighbors saw Mr. James burn down his house. Another witness saw Mr. James burn down Mrs. James's lover/lawyers house. "

I smiled and looked up at the judge and said, "There isn't any retirement left; I donated it to the 'Save the Whales Foundation."

Janice was pissed. I figured I would get about 5 years in prison.

Am I bitter? "HELL YEAH!"

I wasn't sentenced to five years, but I got eighteen months in a federal pen.

While there I made a lot of friends. I also met a nice woman in prison named Katie. She was doing community service after she used a needle to inject super glue into her ex-husband's balls (note to self: don't piss off Katie).

The kids are doing well. The DNA test showed they are mine. I see them every other weekend. I hate being a weekend dad, but I would hate being a cuckold even more.

The insurance company sued me for a million-and-a-half for both houses. My attorney worked out a settlement. I figure if I pay them $25 dollars a month, it should take me about 3,000 years to pay it back.

The court set aside the spousal support because of my large debts and because my refusal to file bankruptcy, along with child support, resulted in there being nothing left. After all, I have to have enough to afford a place for the kids so visit me.

Oh, and Janice. It seems that her lover didn't like being broke. When his wife found out he couldn't be a lawyer any more, she filed for divorce. His wife came by my apartment and asked for my attorney's number. That man got her everything; I'm glad he was my lawyer not Janice's.

Janice and her lover are living in a trailer in the hospital parking lot.

My mom and dad are still together, but my dad has her on a choke chain leash. She can't talk to my uncle, Janice, or anyone my dad doesn't approve of. For some reason my dad thinks Katie is a keeper. Time will tell, and as for me: I'm pretty fucking happy right now.