Allen --
It's in the genes
Dreams are wonderful things. Every night when I go to bed, I look forward to dreams that neither haunt me nor make me afraid. (Please forgive the double negative). The importance of my dreams started about seven months after my divorce from my second wife. I gleefully watched her walk out of the Courthouse, and I began having pleasant dreams that very night. The way I look at it.... My life is now in a safer place. The frigid, conniving, heartless hussy is out of my life.... forever!
She was a wonderful, loving, dedicated companion and lover till the day we said... "I do."
I think she had her fingers crossed at that very special minute. Otherwise, we might still be married.
Don't think for a minute she was the only guilty party... she wasn't. It was me in all my stupid glory. You see, I, like a lot of men, look at a woman and put her in one of two categories. "Would" I fuck her, or "will" I fuck her? A very simple equation, but one that has haunted me all my life. When I say haunted, that's exactly what I mean.
Unfortunately, there are a large number of beautiful women in my workplace, and for some reason they think they have to impress me. Every time I meet another woman for the first time, my mind, like an out-of-control computer, puts each woman into one of those two categories. I can't help it.
Oh, yes, I forgot to mention, I am not only the boss at my workplace, but it's my name on their paychecks, and the front of the building. I inherited it from my dad, like he inherited it from his dad.
I must have the horny gene that slipped by the gene police from my dad or my mom, but one of them was a very horny person. I sit at a desk day in and day out with these beautiful women just looking for a chance to get me alone for a little personal-time, and there's going be a problem. This horny gene is so hard to handle. I survived the "Me-Too" movement only because my dad, when he was alive, warned me of the possibility. I think his comment was.... "They're coming for you and all you have....so beware."
I survived one lawsuit because when I just happened to be out of town at the time this gold-digger swore, I molested her. But it was getting harder and harder to keep it in my pants, hence the divorce from wife number two.
No, it wasn't someone from my business, it was someone from church. I couldn't help it, she was just too much to resist, and we got caught... by her mother. Not to be upset, she was thirty-nine years old and her mom remembers sitting with the Doves on Noah's Ark.
Now, when asked why I did it? My answer is simple... "I'm not getting it at home, so I thought 'I might as well'."
Now, after seven months practicing self-love. Maybe it was time to do something. Anyway, I was getting tired of beating up on the monkey every night. One of my friends suggested going online to find a date. If not a date, at least a wild and wonderful evening between the hedges, or legs of an attractive woman.
I began to hesitate, then realized he was right. So, that very night, I went home and stared at my computer for about thirty minutes and decided to go ahead and see what might be out there on the world wide web.
There were doubts playing havoc with my mind. What if my minister was monitoring my keystrokes. Maybe my ex-wife wasn't done with me, and she had her henchmen watching all the stuff coming from the wi-fi at my house.
It might be wise for me to slow this story down a little right here. I look at a computer all day long; that's part of the job.
When you're the head of a company, you only have to pretend you are the smartest guy in the room. Bluster and bavado usually work, but when you step out of that world you had better have your shit together.
Most important for my part of the business, the computer system is a closed system. If it's not on a chart or in a spreadsheet, I don't waste my time. Decisions are based on facts and what I see. Not bragging but I'm very good at my job. If I have a question, I have beautiful, well-paid assistants for all the technical stuff. In fact, every morning starts with a review and an update on anything and everything that has to do with the company.
At home, I have two systems; one for work, (closed) and one for the web, which I seldom use. Mainly because I pretend, I'm computer literate. If anyone wants to do the company harm ... Well, let's just say we have a bunch of good people that know how, to do bad things. Okay, let's just leave it at that.
Anyway, enough about my inadequacies. I'll reveal more later.
I wasn't looking for a wife. I was certainly not looking for a fling. Truth be told, I really didn't know what I was looking for. I'm of the school, I may not know what I want, but when I see it, I will know.
Going online to satisfy my carnal urges for the first few minutes was kind of embarrassing. Who was looking over my shoulder or at least who was tracking my searches? Then suddenly I stumbled on something that caught my eye. It wasn't the photo; however, she was a very beautiful, a dark-haired vixen. It was a comment under her photo.
Not interested in a Monogamous relationship.
A non-monogamous relationship could mean anything. I visualized orgies, threesomes, foursomes, swap parties. What about.... Oh, my God, the possibilities are endless.
Let's take a minute or an hour or forever and try to figure this out. "Not interested in a Monogamous relationship."
Now what in the world did that mean? I know what it meant to me, but I didn't have a crystal ball to look into the mind of this woman. Was she looking for.....? Hell, I had no idea what she was talking about. But maybe ... just maybe she's looking for me.
Several things came to mind.
She wasn't looking for marriage. She was independent financially, and she seemed to have the same interest as I had... getting laid. She was alone and didn't want to be tied down to the same warm body for the remainder of her life.
Now if any one of these assumptions were correct, I might have found the one. At least a woman that could possibility understand why I had a hard time keeping it in my pants.
Oh, my... I was actually thinking about giving this sexy cougar a top spot on my "Maybe" list. I looked at the photo and she looked better and better. There was one of those winkie things and so I clicked it. Before I knew it, I was clicking it again.
Now what do I do? Do I sit here till starvation sets in to wait for a reply. No, I could just go to bed and see if she shows any interest. It's not like I know what to do... and if I made an impression on her, like she did on me. We'll just have to celebrate later.
First thing the next morning, actually it was the middle of the night. I wiggled the mouse on my computer to get it to come back to life and there it was. She sent me two winks and an email.
"Oh, shit!" I thought out loud. "She really wants to communicate."
The picture I posted was the photo a friend had taken as I was leaving the Courthouse the day of my divorce. It was a very happy face.
Now it was time to do something. For a grown-ass man in his late thirties, you would think I would just jump right in and set up a meeting or something.... Anything. That was the moment in my life I found out how naive I really was. Always before I could count on my quick wit, my charm, my good looks and of course my money. But this was different. It had to be the most impersonal way ever to meet someone.
The first thing I did was to grab my crotch, to make certain I still had balls. The second thing was to start answering her email. After several attempts (I'll never confess to how many), I had something that would be, what I thought was the best come-on ever.
Then came the part where there was no answer. I waited and waited and still no response. Finally, I sent another email and went straight to the point. "Let me be straight with you. I think you are a beautiful woman. I make no claims of my sexual prowess. I just want to meet and maybe give you a memorable night. Let's face it... we both have needs."
I didn't have to wait long. We struck up a conversation that gave both of us a better picture of who we were. After several emails there was a video phone conversation, and I was certain I needed to meet this woman.
I didn't want to put a meeting off any longer than I had to, and she felt the same.
It was a Saturday morning when we finally met. Her name was Alice Woods. She ran a cosmetic company that was doing very well. I thought it was odd she didn't wear a lot of make-up. She was dressed in a cotton summer dress that flowed back and forth in the soft breezes of the season. She was so much more beautiful in real life. The wind pushed strands of her dark hair across her face but could never hide her beauty. Combined with her dark hair, gentle features and lightly colored lips, I was putty in her presence.
Like a fool, I attempted to figure out a schedule of activities that would lead eventually to bed somewhere. But I was so overwhelmed by her, we just let the day happen.