The original motivator for this story was the sentiment that being too cautious about consent when flirting with someone risks taking the fun out of it. I decided to explore if, in fact, asking for permission to flirt can add to the sexual tension rather than detract from it. Happy to hear if it worked.
Also, this story is admittedly quite long, but I still decided to post all parts together. Hope it's worth the read to the end. Yet, if you have a problem with wives doing sexual things with anyone but their husbands, this is not a journey for you.
*****
Part 1
It seemed like just another unremarkable Monday evening. Dan and Matilda had both worked late, and Dan had just eased into his favorite armchair, absentmindedly scrolling through the news. From Matilda's determined footsteps, he could tell his wife had something on her mind.
"Are you busy?" she asked.
Dan didn't look up from his laptop. "Not really."
"We had an interesting conversation at work today," Matilda said.
"Oh yeah? About what?" Dan asked, unenthusiastically.
"We had a pretty open discussion about office flings and what's OK or not when coming on to coworkers."
Dan gave her a curious look. "I didn't realize there were problems with harassment at your office."
"There's not," Matilda said and took a seat on the armrest of Dan's chair. "I guess that's what makes George such a good boss. He solves problems before they happen."
"Aha," Dan said. "And what did you talk about?"
"Well, George didn't want to dictate the rules. He said we should decide together how to handle these things. He brought up something some of the Silicon Valley companies use―you're only allowed to ask a coworker out once. If he or she says no, you can't ask again."
"Seems like a decent idea."
Matilda nodded. "Yeah, kind of. But office flings can be much more than just asking someone out. It's equally important that other types of interactions don't make anyone uncomfortable, even if it's meant as innocent flirtation."
"I guess it's a bit of a grey area," Dan said, closing his laptop. He wasn't sure where Matilda was going with all this, but the apprehensive tone of her voice told him she had something to get off her chest.
"So, after a bit of discussion," Matilda continued, "we decided it's always better to ask if your advances are welcome, no matter how subtle they are."
"You'd have to ask, 'do you mind if I flirt with you?' before you do anything?" Dan asked.
Matilda shrugged. "Maybe not exactly like that but, kind of, yes."
"Sounds a bit artificial―like it would take away the excitement."
"Maybe. But on the other hand, we agreed it would be fine to ask explicit questions."
"Like what?"
"I don't know. Pretty much anything. Essentially, we agreed to accept that a coworker might give you indecent proposals, as long as it's understood they will take no for an answer. And then they're not allowed to ask again."
"Sounds pretty elaborate," Dan said. "Wouldn't it be safer to just ban all workplace relationships?"
"No one seemed to want that. We're only human after all. I mean, it's not an issue for us who are happily married, but I don't want to make rules for others."
Dan gave his wife a curious look. "Are you saying no one flirts with you?"
From her nervous habit of twirling her long, brown locks around her finger, Dan already knew the answer.
"Come on, honey", he continued. "You know I don't mind if someone flirts with you."
"Uhm, yeah, and there was one more thing I wanted to tell you. During the conversation, someone asked if managers should be forbidden to hit on subordinates. That's apparently how it works at some companies."
"Yeah, I think that's fairly common."
"George said something about how we maybe should only allow employees to hit on colleagues at the same level as themselves or upwards in the company hierarchy, but I said it would be unfair. Managers are humans too."
"You said that?"
"Yeah, I was looking out for George," Matilda said. "I told you he's divorced, and with the hours he works, he won't have much time to meet anyone outside of the office. I figured he should be allowed to flirt at work if he wants."
"How considerate of you," Dan said.
Matilda gave him a sheepish look. "I didn't mean with me, of course. But he may have interpreted it that way."
Dan cocked his brow at her.
"Well, when I ran into him later, I kind of caught him looking at me," Matilda clarified.
"Looking?"
"Not inappropriately!" Matilda hurried to clarify. "But, you know, checking me out, I guess. When he realized I'd caught him, he apologized and said he didn't mean to stare. We laughed it off, and I said something about how he should have asked first."
"He should have asked if he could check you out?"
Matilda giggled nervously. "Yeah, I meant as a joke. But then he did."
"Did what?"
Matilda bit her bottom lip. "He asked if it was OK if he checked me out."
"Just like that?"
"Yeah, I mean... We were mainly just joking around."