Well, let me begin this and you can decide whether it's a true story or not.
It was Christmas Eve and, like most American males, I was out running around at the mall picking up those last few things for my wife. Yup! I'm one of those guys that swears up and down every year that there in no way in hell anyone would get me near one of those places after December 1st. Those last three weeks of hell are no match for a middle-aged guy who can't stand going to the mall any other time of the year much less Christmas rush. But I'm here anyway.
It was snowing lightly, making me hate being out with all the nutty drivers all the more. You may have even gotten me to admit it was sort of pretty and "Christmassy" had I not been out in it.
Sure, I got my lovely wife everything she put on her wish list, except maybe for the winning lottery ticket. And then I even bought her some extra things she has mentioned that she would like to have over the last year. But I knew there was that one thing out there she would like to have that she never told me, and I knew I had to find it. I had no idea what it was, but I would know it when I saw it.
I went into the big department stores, got molested by the over made-up perfume salesgirls, "Achoo!", probably smell more like a whore from a New Orleans bordello than I'd like, and still came out empty-handed. I checked the jewelry stores and almost bought her another diamond. Yeah, my thought too, why does she need another diamond?
As I was walking through the center mall area, "Hey Rick!" I heard someone call to me from the escalator. I looked up and it was an old pal of mine, Jim. I walked over towards the end of the escalator and waited for him to step off.
"When the hell did you get back in town?" I asked as he gave me one of those guy to guy hugs.
"I moved back here about 2 weeks ago."
"Two weeks ago and you didn't even call me?" I asked in a satirical tone. "I haven't heard from you in over a year."
"Sorry buddy, but I really haven't had the time. I dumped the old lady, asked for a transfer back up here, been waiting about 6 months, one of the old farts in our office up here retires the end of the month, and they just got around to moving me back up here."
It was quite a mouthful. Jim and I have known each other for about ten years or so. He worked for one of the big banks doing computer stuff. It was way over my head. About 5 years ago, he was transferred down to one of the bank's main offices in Florida. He met some blonde haired beach bunny, fell in love, and got married. Wait a minute.
"Dumped the old lady, did you say?"
"Yeah, the bitch was fucking the UPS man. Everybody in the neighborhood knew it but me." Jim shrugged his shoulders, "Oh well!"
That's what I thought he said. Damn, we went to the wedding, I was an usher and everything. "When did that all happen?"
"Oh, about a year ago. I'm waiting for the final paperwork. The UPS man was an old boyfriend of hers from high school. Wouldn't you know it? He'd end up delivering in our neighborhood. She ordered something from Home Shopping Network and guess who delivered it?"
"Geez, I'm sorry to hear that. I thought you two made a good couple."
"That's the sad part, we did. We had a great time together."
We walked around the mall a little while, mainly helping Jim pick out some presents for his family that still lives up this way.
"I came home a little early one afternoon and saw the brown truck sitting outside the house. Dummy me, I was wondering what the hell she bought now. I walked in the house and heard her obvious moans of ecstasy coming from the bedroom. I followed the sound to the bedroom and here this little dweeb is with his tiny suntanned dick in my wife. I stood in the door for a minute, you know, watching, waiting for them to see that I was there. Then I walked over and grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and threw his ass, butt naked mind you, out the front door. She tried to stop me, so I shoved her ass out the door too. Then I called 911 and reported that there was a naked man trespassing on my front lawn. While the police were en-route, I called UPS to tell them that one of their trucks was in front of my house, apparently abandoned still loaded with boxes. The UPS crew almost beat the police."
I was almost in hysterics while listening to Jim, developing a picture of this scene in my mind.
"When the police arrived, they locked him up for being naked in public. My wife tried to stop them, so she got locked up for interfering with the arrest. The police asked me what happened and I explained it as it happened. I turned the uniform and keys over to the UPS supervisor when he got there. By the time she got released, I had gotten a court order for her to stay out of our house and had the locks changed. I had her clothes packed and sitting in her car, or at least what would fit. She tried to break in, not wanting to believe I didn't want to reconsider, so the police came back and locked her up again for violating the court order. That time she got bail that her parents ended up putting up to get her released."
By that time my gut hurt from laughing.
"Needless to say, my attorney has been having a field day with this divorce."
"What about her?" I asked him between trying to catch my breath.
"Who cares? Actually, I don't know. I played it smart and let the attorney do all the talking between us."
"What about the UPS dude?"
"He was fired, on the spot."
We hit the stores, some of which I had already been in at least once. I ended up carrying some of the bags for Jim. He hadn't done much shopping and I was still looking for that one special thing for Mary.
"So you got a new girl up this way or something?"
"Nope. I haven't even gone out with anybody since that day. I just haven't felt the desire."
It is kind of a shame. Jim is really a nice guy. Years ago, when we first became friends, my wife had tried fixing up one of her friends with him. My wife, Mary, always made comments about how sexy Jim was. I even caught her flirting with him quite a few times.
That's when it dawned on me. I wanted to get Mary something unusual for Christmas. I may have found it. The Ghost of Christmas Presents just paid me a visit.
Back a few years, while Jim was still living up this way, Mary and I had several conversations about her having sex with other men. That was as far as it went, talking about it. Mary always alluded to the idea that she loved me and couldn't just fuck anybody. One night, we were discussing it and I was naming different guys to see what type of response I would receive. Funny thing, one guy she said yes to almost immediately, without hesitation was Jim.
One night in particular, I thought I was going to be lucky. I had Mary pretty well loaded. We had been drinking since lunch time. We watched a couple of ball games, during which Jim stopped by. Mary was far enough gone that I almost had her talked into fucking Jim. I had convinced her to put on one of my football jerseys with no bra on under it, a skimpy pair of gym shorts, again with nothing on under them. Without me even suggesting it, she put on a pair of high heels. She gave us a little half-time show where I ended up talking her out of the jersey. She danced around, shaking her huge tits in our faces. She even let Jim kiss and suck on her nipples. I thought she was going to go for it, but she threw on the brakes just as Jim pulled out his dick for her. I never knew if it scared her or what, but she stopped dancing and put the top back on. I even asked her if she wanted to blow him and she gave me a very hesitated no. She mumbled something to the effect that she wanted to but couldn't.
"So Jim, what are your plans for Christmas eve?" I asked.
"I really don't have any. I guess I'll wrap up these gifts and just relax, watch a movie or something."
"Well I tell you what, ole pal, how about having dinner with us?"
"No, I can't do that. It's Christmas Eve. I'm sure you guys have plans."
"Not until tomorrow. We usually don't do anything. We'll have dinner, a couple of drinks, open a few presents, that's about it."
"Well, if you're sure it won't be a problem. You know, it probably would be nice to share it with some friends. I could probably use it."
"Good. That's it then."
We walked to Jim's car to stash the packages Jim had accumulated. As it tuned out, we were only a few aisles over from each other. We talked about some of the fun we had until he moved away. I even had to bring up that particular day. "Remember that one Sunday we all watched the games and Mary got so bombed?"
"Oh my god, how could I forget. She was funny."
"Yeah. When she stripped, I thought for sure she was going to do you right there in front of me."
"You know something, I was hoping she would. I mean, I didn't see you doing anything to stop her, and..."
I laughed, "I wasn't planning on doing anything. If she wanted to, I was going to let her."
"Really? You mean, you would have let your wife fuck me?"
"Sure, why not? She likes you and all. I've always known that. And hell, we've always been best of friends. If I couldn't trust you with her..."
"Well, you know I've always thought the world of her too."
"You know something Jim, I may have thought of the perfect Christmas present for her. Let's run back inside a minute. I just thought of something you can get her for Christmas."
We walked back inside and worked our way through the crowd to the Victoria's Secrets store. We looked around and found the perfect gift that might just lead to her perfect gift. It was a white satin and lace corset with red and green ribbon trim. It had matching panties. Very Christmassy if I must say so myself. We found red stockings done up with white and green lace trim. Jim was more than willing to get the outfit for her. I think he knew what was in store.
On the way back out to our cars, I made a slight detour past a shoe store where I picked up a pair of white platform high heels, the kind with the clear platforms and heels. I thought they would be the perfect compliment to the outfit Jim bought.
We left the mall and Jim followed me to our house. It was still a little early, I knew Mary's boss wasn't going to let everybody leave until almost the regular quitting time. "Scrooge!" Mary had also told me that her and a few of the girls she works with were going to stop by one of the local bars to have a drink after work. That would give Jim and me enough time to wrap some presents.
Jim helped me put all of the gifts under the tree. Around 4:00, Mary called to tell me that she and the girls were leaving work and were stopping off for the drink and then she'd be home. Around 5:30 she called and told me she was leaving the bar and would be home in about a half hour. Jim and I already had the dinner table set and I had the grill fired up and the steaks marinating. Jim and I were drinking bourbon with beer chasers, and had a couple.
Mary pulled into the driveway. Jim had his car across the street. As she carried her presents from work up to the door, I opened it. "Ho ho ho!" I said with a laugh.
"Ho ho ho my ass." She returned, "Scrooge wouldn't let us go any earlier."
I helped her with her packages and handed her a shooter of bourbon, which she drank in one shot.
"That's okay. You know how I always wait until the last minute to pick up your surprise present? Well I did it again. You want it now?"
"Surprise? What kind of surprise?"
Jim poked his head around the corner, "Merry Christmas!"
"Jim!" Mary ran to him gave him a big hug and kiss. "How the hell are you? Where'd you come from?"
"I told you the mall." I answered back.
"I just moved back up here and Rick and I ran into each other at the mall."
"Well this is a nice Christmas surprise."
"I hope you don't mind having him stay for dinner, I kind of invited him." I said to her.
"Mind, hell no, I don't mind. Let me change into something a little more comfortable and I'll get dinner started."
"Ahh! Too late. I already have it on the grill." I bragged.