All I Want to Now Is Where She Is

This story is the property of Kalimaxos.

Blame me for anything that you don't like.

It's different than what I have ever written.

Enjoy.

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Jake Linden was so tired, he could barely stay awake. It had been a long week. A week where he had barely gotten any sleep. He could live with the lack of warm food or coffee; how he missed hot coffee... But the lack of sleep was making him lose his ability to think straight. He looked over the turret ring of his tank. The last thing he wanted was for some nazi sniper to take him out this late in the war. So he scanned the woods across the field of Germany wondering when this fucken war would end.

It was sometime in early May 1945; he had lost track of the day. And Jake was now past tired and aggravated. He was pissed. Germany had lost the war. There were armies of German enemies squeezing Nazi Germany from all directions, yet the fanatical assholes were still fighting and killing people. Sometime their own people. There were three civilian bodies hanging from the telephone poles just down the street of his tank. They were so recent they didn't even stink yet. What a thought!

Jake put all that aside and wondered why Darleen had not written to him the last four months. He didn't worry during December and January. It was early and his unit had been in the middle of fighting off the German Ardennes Offensive. No one got mail then. And when mail came in early February, most guys got nothing. By early March, he began to wonder and worry. He had written her four letters in that time but had received none in return.

Before that, he had gotten three to four letters each time mail came. Sometimes more. She would place perfume in the pages and use code words like rosebuds for her nipples and clam for her pussy to send him something to pass the sensors. Fucken pervs that read everyone's mail. Who got a job like that?

Worried that something had happened to her, Jake send his sister a letter asking her to drive over to Lynbrook, NY in Long island where Darleen lived and check on her. It took a month, but he finally heard from his sister.

"Jake,

Hope all is OK... blah, blah... "

He skipped past the family stuff until he got to the part about Darleen.

"I drove to Darleen's parents place. They said she was busy working long shifts at Grumman and was staying with one of her coworkers near the plant. When I asked them where they said they would give Darleen a note and tell her you are not getting her letters.

Hope all is well... blah, blah..."

Jake had read that letter over and over for the last three weeks. That's when he wasn't fighting Germans from the Rhine and points east. It had gotten to the pint that killing some Germans pissed him off because they were getting in the way of him reading the letter, ending the war so he could go home and from Darleen.

He missed her and her sweet pussy so much. It was the first pussy he ever had. He could have had some English pussy before Normandy but had been true to Darleen. He could have had some French pussy when his unit ran around France chasing Germans. Some of them French women hadn't seen a man worth fucking since 1940 and were all so willing to thank their liberators. But again, his conscience got the best of him and he had kept himself pure for his young wife.

Belgium had been quite the test for him. His unit had been billeted in a village with young girls and abandoned wives who fawned all over the American tank crewmen. They would wine and dine them and in many cases screw them. Again, Jake had managed to stay chaste. He had gotten a reputation and a nom de guerre; "The Monk."

But Jake was a warrior monk if anything. He had five tank kills to his credit and had been in combat since July 1944 when his unit crossed over to France and began fighting Germans. That he and his tank crew were alive was a miracle. But Jake was at the end of his rope. What combat and the Germans had failed to do; Darleen's lack of letters was killing him.

His buddies understood. The jokes that had come early one in the letter drought had stopped. Men needle each other in the army; probably since ancient times. Mom jokes, sister jokes and wife jokes are common. Even in the army marching cadence there were references to "Jody." The dread of every service man; the mythical menace that prays on wives and girlfriends while their man is away.

You had a good home but you left / You're right

Jody was there when you left / You're right

Your baby was there when you left / You're right

Sound off! One two

Sound off! Three four

Your baby was lonely, as lonely could be /

Till Jody provided the company

Ain't it great to have a pal /

Who works so hard just to keep up morale

Sound off! One two

Sound off! Three four

There ain't no use in going back /Jody's livin' it up in the shack / Jody's got somethin' you ain't got /

It's been so long I almost forgot / Sound off! /

And the worse of all:

Ain't no use in lookin back

Jodie's got your Cadillac

The fucker even took your car along with your girl. Yeah, it had been fun in basic training to sing this, but now the notion was driving Jake nuts. When a tank named Jody's Revenge passed his that morning, Jake had thoughts of placing a main gun round in it. He never actually did it, but it made him realize how far thinking about Darleen had made him crazy.

He hardly talked to anyone anymore other than to give his crew orders or to answer officers' questions. Not that they had many officers the way the unit went through them. He had lost five platoon commanders and three company commanders since Normandy. It was a curse. And the new butter bar assigned to them was no better. The idiot was going to get someone killed if he didn't die first.

"Sergeant Linden."

"Sergeant Linden!"

Clank! That sound of metal against the side of his tank finally snapped him out of his deranged thoughts. In his mind, he had been strangling Jody with his own long cock after pulling him off Darleen.

"Sergeant Linden! Dammit answer me," he heard the new officer speak in frustration.

Jake grunted, not wanting to talk to the idiot. He was older than the shake and bake officer, by a month. But you would have thought Jake was a forty year old man from all the stress and frowning.

"Stop making that racket L.T. The krauts will hear you and shoot your ass and then shoot my ass and I'll be upset."

"Sorry sergeant," the young officer said trying to please.

At least he hadn't tried to boss everyone when he got there. That was a shock. The rest of them did it right away to establish their asshole bonafides. Jake was convinced West Point and ROTC produced assholes in droves. Only the OCS, former enlisted, officers had any common sense and those were far and few in this man's army.

"Good news sergeant Linden, the war is over!"

It took a second or two before the phrase registered in Staff Sergeant Linden's mind.

The war is over. The war is over! THE WAR IS OVER!

"Fuck no it ain't L.T. I can hear gunfire down the street."

"You're gonna love this sergeant Linden." The kid said. "There is a unit of SS holed up in the local church and a unit of German paratroopers are trying to get them out of there or kill them in the process. Ain't that some shit?"

"Let them kill each other," Jake said. "Any mail?"

He saw the young officer's face darken at that question. He just shook his head.

"Fuck!" Jake yelled and closed his eyes.

---------------------------------------------

It took a while before Jake could get a red cross representative to send a telegram home to Darleen. He had received no answer when tow months later he was rotated home due to his accumulation of points from long service in combat and time in theater. He boarded a cruise ship converted to troop carrier in an Antwerp Belgium and was finally on his way home.

The trip was terrible as Jake spent most of his time seasick. Then finally the weather cleared a day out of New York harbor. When the ship docked Jake knew that Darleen would not be there to greet him. He had told no one he was coming.

Before Jake left Belgium he had the opportunity to send her or anyone a telegram informing them of his pending arrival. But Jake still wanted to find Darleen, but he was beginning to accept the reality that she may no longer be his to come home to. A law had been passed to prevent "Dear John" letters from being sent by wives to husbands they wanted to dump. But everyone knew that by not sending anything letters to their husbands, wives were making a statement to that effect.

If Darleen was indeed with another man, he wanted to see it for himself. So when eh finally got off the ship with thirty day leave papers in his pocket he made his way to the Long Island Railroad train station. Later that day he was outside Darleen's parent house.

When he knocked her father came to the door.

"She's not here Jake," Mr. Robinson told him. "She hasn't been here since last summer."

"Where is she dad?" Jake asked his father in law.

"Come in Jake," Don Robinson said. "Ellen! Jake is here."

All Jake had to do was see his mother in law's face and he knew. He just knew.

"Hi Jake," Ellen Robinson said. "Glad you are back safe."

"Thank you mom," Jake said still being respectful to his in laws. "Do you know where Darleen is?"

"Sit down Jake," Don said.

The finality and somber way that Don used in his tone told Jake that he was not going to have good news.

"What's wrong?" he asked as he sat. His voice almost broke.

"Jake you want to brace yourself to hear this."

"Don, Ellen" he said turning from one to the other. "Please tell me. Is she OK? I haven't heard from her since last November. Please..."

"Jake," Don finally said as his wife cried silently. "Darleen was raped last summer."

"Oh my God!" Jake said. "Where is she?"

"Jake, she took a train to Cleveland where her aunt lives; my sister. She... eh... she was pregnant Jake."

Jake felt like a ton of bricks had fallen on his head. He had fought for months to make the world safe from bad people and his wife had been raped back home and impregnated by some fuckhead; by... Jody.

"How did it happen?" he asked now clearly angry.

"We don't know the full story Jack," Don said, but Jake would tell from Ellen's unwillingness to look him in the eye that his father in law was not telling him everything.

"What happen Ellen," he said ignoring his father in law.

Ellen started crying and tried to stand. But Jake didn't let her. His hand grabbed her wrist and made the small older woman stay seated. When Don tried to sand, Jake grabbed him too with such strength that Don stopped resisting.

"Spit it out!" Jake said gruffly.

"She was lonely Jake and went on a date."

"Fuck..." Jake uttered with out thinking.

In those days, cursing in someone's home was just not done. But then Jake was not in his right mind after all he had learned and all the months of trying to find out what was happening.

Darleen's parents became quiet. Jake had a feeling that they were still hiding things from him.

"She wasn't raped was she" he said as a statement, not a question.

Again, there was silence and averted looks.

"Listen to me you two. Tell me the truth or I will find it and come back to settle with you. I have called you and thought of you as mom and dad, but now I see that you are liars and are covering up for your cheating whore of a daughter."

"Jake, please" Don said trying to calm him down.

"Please what Don?" Jack replied. "What did you two think would happen when I got back? That I would just say its OK Darleen. I know you've been fucking around and got knocked up, I'll raise your child?"

"I expected you to understand," Ellen Robinson replied finally looking at him. "You were gone close to three years Jake. She waited for you and was true to you until last summer. Then she weakened. You never weakened over there? Never had another woman in between fighting? I find that hard to believe."

"I was tempted Ellen," he said using her name. The mom tag now behind them. "But I never broke my vows. I made a promise to her. I guess you would be OK if Don here screwed around on you? Or you would on him?"

Don sat back and looked at him sternly.

"What do you want from us?"

"Her address in Cleveland. And know this. If she is not there, and you sent me on a wild goose chase, I will come back. If you lied to me, start running. Do you two understand me?"

Ellen got up and wrote the address and phone number on a piece of paper. She hesitated a minute and held on to it.

"How do we know you will not hurt her?"

"I'm a man of honor. If I say I won't hurt her, I won't."

Ellen reached for her bible on the counter and placed it on the table in front of Jake.

"Swear!" she said looking at him in the eye. "Swear that you will not hurt her. That you will never hurt her."

Jake placed his hand on the bible while still gazing into Ellen's eyes.

"I swear," he replied. "I will never hurt or have someone else hurt Darleen. Satisfied?"

Ellen gave Jake the paper with Darleen's aunts name, address and phone number on it. Only it wasn't in Cleveland. It was in Cincinnati. Or actually a suburb just north of it. Springdale.

Jake nodded to her and stood. He said nothing to them as he left and walked to a phone booth outside a diner on Merrick Road. He called his sister who came to get him and spent the night there. The next day, Jake got on a train to New York and from there a train to DC and a connection to Cincinnati.

He slept on the trains and managed to get to Cincinnati two days later. He was tired, but he walked with a purpose in full uniform as he got a bus to where Darleen's aunt lived. He asked directions from a local policeman who drove him to Darleen's aunts home. When he stepped out of the car, a large man in a factory workers overall outfit that said FORD on the breast pocket came out to greet him.

"Are you Jake?" he asked.

"I am," Jake replied. "Staff Sergeant Jake Linden."

"My name is Arnold Grayson son," he said matter of fact like to Jake. "This is my home and Darleen is under my protection. If you come inside to meet with her, you will behave like a gentleman. If you do, you can spend the night or as long as you need to sort out your issues with your misses. But there will be no arguing in the house. You want to fight, go for a walk to the park down the street and have at it."

"Yes sir,"

"And one more thing. She gave birth a month ago son. The baby is healthy for coming two weeks early. A baby girl. That baby has done nothing wrong to you. Its innocent. You behave accordingly and never use the bastard word in our home. Understood?"

"Yes sir," Jake replied again and followed Arnold up the steps.

"This is my wife Linda; Darleen's aunt."

"Nice to meet you ma'am." Jake said to the frumpy fifty something woman.

"Nice meeting you Jake," she replied taking his hand. "I'll get Darleen for you. She put the baby to sleep. I would appreciate you not being loud. Its not easy to get that baby girl to settle down."

"Yes ma'am," Jake replied.

"Put you stuff down and go sit on the porch. I'll bring you lemonade in a few minutes or coffee if you like. You and Darleen can have some privacy out there to talk."

Jake nodded and stepped out on to the front porch. He was standing leaning on the railing when Darleen, the love of his life stepped out and looked at him nervously. She stole his breath as she looked at him.

Jake always thought Darleen was the prettiest girl in high school and the best looking woman in town back in Lynbrook, New York. She was five foot five tall and had dark raven hair. Her skin was clear and her eyes a soft gray green that bore holes into his soul. But she had changed. Where some women gained weight in pregnancy, Darleen had not. In fact, she looked trimmer and more alive somehow. Maybe the sayings about pregnancy bringing the shine out in a woman were true. They certainly were for Darleen.

"Hi Jake," Darleen finally said.

"Hi Darleen," Jake said barely able to contain his emotions.

He had been angry with her and had expected himself to curse her out. Yet he found himself oddly calm as he looked at the wife he had not seen since September 1942. It was now 1945. And Darleen looked stunning in her yellow dress and white shoes.

"You want to sit down?" she asked.

"Yes, please."

"I had to come out here to have the baby Jake," she said looking down at her hands over her knees. "I didn't want to cause problems for everyone. People would talk."

"I see," he replied. "Darleen..."

"I suppose you want to tell me I am a slut and a whore. I have that coming to me."

Jake stayed quiet.

"I guess you also want to know who's it was?"

"Do I know him?"

"Yes you do Jake. Yes you do." Darleen replied looking up at him.

"Who?"

"It was Ray" she said staring at him; challenging him almost.

"Ray?" Jake asked incredulously. "My Ray?"

"Yes Jake, that Ray."

"You went our with my twin brother and had... relations with him?"

"Oh, I went out with him Jake. It seemed harmless enough to go out with your brother before he shipped out to the Pacific. He is the spitting image of you, and no one would have made a fuss if they saw us."

"How convenient."

"I just went to diner with him Jake," Darleen stiffened. "But Ray had other ideas. He kept refiling my glass. I guess I did enjoy the attention and I was weakened seeing your face in him. Then her said to go dancing. I figured it can't hurt, just dancing and then he will take me home."

"Go on," Jake said now angry again. 'My own brother!'

"Ray danced with me, not letting other men get near me. I felt protected and safe. But I was wrong. He took me to your folks house, and we sat in the living room. Your parents were out of town to your uncle's or something and we had the place to ourselves. I didn't know that part until after."

"Wait," Jake said stopping her. "My brother put the moves on you in our family home?"

Darleen just nodded and he saw her lip tremble. It was the first sign of emotion since she came out. He was going to say something, but her aunt brought out lemonade. Thankfully she went back inside as fast as she came out.

"I remember siting on the couch with him laughing at some stupid joke... then I woke up in a bed with my skirt hiked up and your brother between my legs as he... finished."

Jake was trying hard to comprehend what Darleen was telling him. His own brother, his twin brother. Ray had seduced his brother's wife.

"Darleen, tell me he truth. Did you let him do it to you?"

"Jake Linden, I will put my hand on a bible and swear to you on my child's life. I let him take me out. I let him take me dancing and back to your folks home thinking they would be there. But after that... no Jake. I didn't give him the green light. I never kissed him or let him touch me other than on the dance floor."

"Did he make a move on you then?"

"Funny that Jake. Other men try it, but Ray didn't try anything while dancing. He sat next to me on the couch but didn't feel me up."

"You just woke up with him plowing you?"

"Crude words Jake Linden, but that's about what your darling brother did to your wife. So yes, he plowed and left his seed in me. So that baby girl in there is a Linden. Your brother made sure of that."

Jake's mind was reeling. His own brother! He had to make sure. Jumping inside, he asked for a bible. Albert gave him one puzzled at the request, and watched Jake take it to Darleen through the screen door. He placed it in her hands and looked in her eyes.

"Darleen Linden, if what you told me is true, you put your hand on that holly book and tell me its so. That every word you told me is so."