Ain't It Funny How Time Slips Away

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Keith Noel Emerson, Gregory Lake: "Welcome back, my friends, to the show that never ends. We're so glad you could attend. Come inside! Come inside!"

+ + + +

I'm not sure what happened. I must have had a dizzy spell or something. My forehead was on the steering wheel. I recognized that I was parked outside of Waylon's house. I am unable to contain my smile. This always works out so perfectly when I'm with him. Looking at my watch I realize I need to get back to the clinic. Try as I might I couldn't remember if Waylon and I had been together this morning. We must have been. Why else would I be sitting here at this time of day if not?

After buckling my seat belt I tried to start the car. Nothing. I know cars have wheels and need gas. End of my automotive knowledge. This car has that keyless push button start and it did nothing. When I got out of the car I was confused. Although this car is similar, I don't think this one is mine. But I was sitting in it, and its right where I usually parked, so it must be mine. If I'd been drinking, I could understand this, but I haven't been.

Now I'm really confused. I don't even recognize this purse. However, when I looked inside, I found and fished my phone out of it. The display looked odd but it didn't register why. I tried to search for a tow truck but the phone said 'no signal'.

I thought I'd try to call Paul, my husband, and ask him what to do. Thwarted again with 'no signal'.

+ + + +

My name is Mary Ellen and my mother has a serious problem with her kidneys. She undergoes Hemodialysis, commonly called kidney dialysis. This is a process of purifying the blood of a person whose kidneys are not working normally.

I take her into the clinic at 8am on Tuesday and at the same time on Friday. She stays there until just shy of noon. After I get her home, I run my errands or head out to the stables. While she is situated at the clinic, I make my way over to Waylon's house.

I first met Waylon about a month after mom started her treatments. He is so cute and sexy that I found myself flirting with him. One thing led to another and we ended up making out in one of the doctor's lounges. I was wiping my chin, after giving him a blow job, when we almost got caught. After that, I agreed to meet him at his place.

Waylon is about the same size and girth of my husband, but the thrill of doing something illicit makes my orgasms so much stronger. I'm back in plenty of time to help mom get home.

I'm helpless to deny Waylon anything he wants. I don't know what hold he has on me. I don't care. I've enjoyed so many massive orgasms that I can't wait for the next time mom has her treatment.

Now, when Paul and I have sex, it's Waylon that I'm fantasizing about. Waylon is so cute and sexy and his voice makes my pussy tingle.

+ + + +

With a car that won't start and a phone with 'no signal', I walked back to Waylon's front door and rang the doorbell. A man I'd never seen before answered the door. I leaped backwards a little. I thought Waylon and I were alone earlier.

"Is Waylon here?"

"Excuse me?"

"Is Waylon here?"

"There's nobody here by that name. I think you are at the wrong residence."

He closed the door in my face. What in the hell is going on? I was just inside this house with Waylon. I rang the doorbell again. I saw the same man peek through the window shade and loudly exclaim 'Go away. You're at the wrong address.'

In a fog I walked back to that car. I needed someone to help me. After pondering my situation for a few minutes, I started walking towards the corner store. Just before I went inside I saw that car driving off.

"HEY! That's my car!"

That did absolutely no good. I went inside and begged the clerk to call 911 and get a patrol car here.

+ + + +

I met Paul my senior year in college. He's the most cutthroat business man I've ever met or read about. He was a penny pincher the day I met him. He bristles when I leave a twenty percent tip. It's just money and we have bunches of it.

Paul is a corporate raider. He buys struggling companies and then guts them. It doesn't faze him one bit that he's put so many people out of work. Not his problem is his attitude.

We have two kids. William just started tenth grade. Andrea is two years behind him. They are very athletic and I spend most weekends being a team mom for one or the other. I don't need to work, so I don't.

Paul spends lavishly on me. I ride dressage and spend many weekdays with my horses.

+ + + +

The officer seemed nice enough. I showed him my driver's license and explained my situation. He left me standing by his car and started punching things into his onboard unit. He gave me this really odd look then used his clip-on to talk with somebody.

"Miss, I need you to accompany me back to the precinct station. Hands on the hood please."

I was dumbstruck. I complied and the officer did a quick pat down to insure I was unarmed. After a short drive he escorted me into an interview room. I waited for a good ten minutes before two different men entered the room.

"Gentlemen."

"Let's start with the formalities. What's your name?"

"Just like my driver's license says, I'm Mary Ellen Mostru."

"Is it alright with you if we call you Mary?"

"Mary Ellen. What's this all about? Do I need an attorney?"

"Relax Mary Ellen. No attorneys are needed. You've done nothing wrong but we are a little confused. Can you tell us what the date is today? Month day and year if you don't mind."

So I told them. Talk about a bizarre question. Whatever.

"Thanks. Can you go through your story, starting with what you remember about this morning?"

I spent the next fifteen minutes going into great detail about everything, except what Waylon and I had done in bed. I just said we spent time together. They wanted to know about my mother and the clinic.

They thanked me and asked if I needed something to drink. I told them I'd like to use the restroom. After they left, a female officer arrived and escorted me to and from the restroom.

I sat by myself for another thirty minutes. A very well dressed woman, a nurse, and the precinct captain sat down across from me.

"Mary Ellen, this is Christina Davidson. She's from the County Human Services Department. Also, this is Nurse Jennings. She's here as what I have to tell you might be very unsettling."

I'm sure my puzzled look said it all.

"Mary Ellen, there's no easy way to tell you this. You were declared dead earlier this year. You've been missing for almost eight years."

I remember prying my eyes open, looking around, and seeing the inside of an ambulance.

+ + + +

It was coming back to me why I passed out. Dead? Eight years? How is that even possible?

After being grilled by a few more people in smocks, Christina entered my room and pulled up a chair.

"Mary Ellen, it would appear you have been under a medically induced form of amnesia. The police have obtained a video, from the corner store, showing two cars dropping you off this morning. They pulled up, at around 6 am, next to the house you've identified as belonging to Waylon. You appeared to be unconscious when they put you in the driver's seat of the car they left behind. Before they departed it looks like they administered something via a syringe. Your blood work has alarming levels on many of the tests. You've definitely been sedated recently. We're going to start kidney dialysis today. Can you remember anything before exiting that car?"

"No. I'm at a loss at how I could possible lose eight years of my life. Have you been able to reach my mother or husband? What about my kids! My gawd, I almost forgot about them."

Christina scanned through my charts.

"Your mother died six years ago. Your husband had you declared dead and has remarried. It only says they've left messages for him. Your daughter appears to be away at college. They're still trying to locate your son. Do you need another sedative? You look quite ill."

My tears were dripping from my cheeks. What in the hell has happened to my life.

"How did I disappear? Didn't anyone look for me?"

"The day after you disappeared, your car was found submerged in a lake about three miles from the clinic where your mother was being treated. Obviously you were never found. Your coat, shoes, and purse, but neither your phone nor pocketbook, were found. Waylon came forward and indicated you had been with him when assailants broke in. He claimed you were missing when he came to. Waylon wasn't a suspect due to the nature of his injuries. The police investigated your husband but no charges were ever filed. You should rest. I'll come back after you've had some time to relax."

+ + + +

After my short nap, they ushered me off to start dialysis. Once I was back in my room, Christina knocked.

"Mary Ellen, I need to bring you up to date on some things. You are currently a ward of the state. As a deceased person, you have no insurance or assets. There will be several people from social services stopping by later today. I have spoken with your daughter. After her shock subsided, she indicated she'll be here tomorrow morning. She said she would send messages to your son and ex-husband."

I twitched. How can he be my ex-husband?

I asked for help getting to sleep. I woke up in a room with four other beds. Christina was alerted to the fact that I was awake again.

"Good morning Mary Ellen. We're going to move you to a halfway house. There's no reason for you to be under continued monitoring. Have you been having any flashbacks?"

"I'm not sure. I remember an elliptical machine and a treadmill. There's a lady I dream about but I don't know her. There's nothing that makes any sense."

My daughter, at least I think it's her, walked in. What a beautiful young lady. She froze for a minute then "MOM! It is you!"

"Andrea! Andrea! Andrea!" was all I could say as my chest felt like it wanted to explode.

We hugged for an extended time. I spent three hours listening to her recap the last eight years. I was a mess emotionally. All of the things I'd missed out on were overwhelming. I was jealous beyond belief when Andrea told me about Paul and his new bride. The reason Paul was difficult to get in touch with became clear. He had recently moved overseas.

After a short nap, Andrea brought me up to date about William. Again, it turned me into a blubbering mess. I've completely missed out on some very precious memories. He's married and I have a grandson.

I spent an hour on the phone with William. He has an important business trip but will be here this weekend.

+ + + +

If you can avoid it, don't be declared dead. This is an absolute nightmare. I don't think it really matters though. I've had a complete mental breakdown. I was starting to feel like I might live when Christina, a nurse, and the precinct captain appeared at my room door.

"Mary Ellen, are you up for a discussion?"

"Come on in. What's going on?"

"Hi, you must be Andrea, her daughter?"

"Yes. Is it alright if I sit in on this?"

"Please do. Mary Ellen is likely to need all the support she can find."

Andrea and I gave each other this quizzical look.

The captain took control "We were able to track down the car that dropped you off yesterday morning. It's almost like they wanted it to be found. No arrests have been made though. This is going to be very traumatic for you so let us know when you need a break."

"Got it."

"The residence where the car was found is owned by a corporate shell set up by your ex-husband. It was purchased two weeks before you disappeared. Voting records show that Demi Harris lived there. She was hired by a different shell company, also set up by your ex-husband, two days before you disappeared. Ms. Harris is his new wife."

He slid a picture of Demi towards me.

"That's her! That's the lady I've been dreaming about!"

The captain continued "The basement of that house has all the markings of having been turned into a prison. We found enough empty boxes of medicine to determine that you've been in a medically induced daze. There's a treadmill and elliptical machine there. Pictures on the wall show you restrained with felt covered wrist and ankle cuffs. I've spoken with the DA and she's going to indict Paul and Demi. Unfortunately, as you are aware of, they have fled to a country without an extradition agreement with the United States. When you are up to it, he left you a note. This is a copy as we've retained the original as evidence."

Christina tells me I went berserk and injured my hands and feet kicking and hitting walls and furniture. Technically I've had a nervous breakdown.

+ + + +

After a night filled with lots of sedatives, I slowly emerged and found Andrea crying. Her makeup was running and her eyes were unlike any that I'd ever seen. They were filled with hate, not directed towards me, but she was fuming.

"What is it sweetie? Why the tears?"

She held up the note from Paul "He did it to you mom. This is horrible. I never want to see him again."

"Can I see the note?"

Andrea, put up a stop sign then spoke with the nurse.

"Hold on, I want William to hear this when I read it to you. The nurse is checking to make sure you can have another sedative."

After taking a couple of pills, and with William listening in, Andrea read the note to me out loud.

'Mary Ellen

Welcome back. It's been a long time since you've been part of society. It was a blast raising the kids by myself. The neighbors were so helpful (and friendly too if you know what I mean).

I hired Demi to feed and care for you during your stay. You two ended up as lovers. It was six months before I started coming around. The police were watching my every move for a while. I thoroughly enjoyed the threesomes with you and Demi. You desperately wanted companionship and became a very passionate lover. You really needed those moments we spent snuggling. You gladly allowed me to experience all those things you'd previously denied to me. You know, the ones you gave up so easily to your lover.

If you're wondering how we kept you in that daze, you can thank your government. One of the companies I acquired had a contract with the Pentagon. Somehow that company ended up with a copy of the Groundhog Day Project 'Top Secret' document. The military developed this approach for terrorist interrogations. They combined anesthesia, ecstasy, and one other chemical compound. You completely lose your short term memory but remember everything about your past. It's perfect for them. They can torture the shit out of you and the next day you don't remember a thing. It eliminates those embarrassing interviews, tell all books, and subsequent congressional hearings.

You always recognized me and begged me to help you get out. You could never remember that we had done this countless times previously. It was your own real life Groundhog Day experience. I promised I would help to set you free. Promise kept. Demi and you were together six days a week. You were on your own most Sundays. She says she's going to miss you. She took care of you and administered each day's medicine. With you sleeping almost twelve hours a day, you really didn't have time to go crazy. She withheld food a few times to make sure you kept up on your physical fitness. She got pretty good at cutting your hair.

Unlike you, I was completely faithful until you disappeared. I hired Demi straight out of high school. She's not the brightest candle on the birthday cake. She believes, to this day, that this was a clandestine government operation. After all, I did have that 'Top Secret' document. Her employment contract specified that she would be tortured and killed if she every disclosed anything about you. Little did I know that over the next eight years we would fall in love and get married.

You really became a fan of those paperback romance novels. I think you finished at least one a day. With just recorded music to listen to it will take you a while to get caught up on all the changes in the world. We've got game show hosts running things, and draft dodgers telling us who is and isn't patriotic. It's crazy and I'm glad I'm headed overseas.

I guess you thought you could have your affair with Waylon and keep me in the dark. Didn't quite work out that way did it? That last morning, the day you disappeared, the two of you never knew what hit you. My people were able to inject you while you were busy humping away. Waylon didn't fare too well either. If he were like one of your horses, I think the word is gelding. You get the idea. Even if he was able, I'm told cocks don't stretch out all that well with that much scar tissue.

Sorry about your mother. I think her life whittled away missing you. On the other hand, the kids got over you rather quickly. I'm going to miss them but they're grown up now. After they see the size of the trusts I set up for them, they'll forget about me quickly.

If only we had a pre-nuptial agreement. I wasn't about to turn over twenty million to you and your lover. Can you believe it, you have to disappear for seven years before you can be declared dead? Blame the government. I'd have released you sooner if not for that. The good news though is that over that seven year period, my company more than tripled in value. I apologize for stretching this out but the sale of my business took six months longer that I thought it would. It finally went through a few weeks ago. It was worth my time to stick around.

I have to admit there was another reason to string you along for seven years. Remember those one million dollar life insurance policies we signed up for when we tied the knot? When we took them out we agreed to have an annual ten percent bump in face value. Each year, as long as we had no medical issues, they added ten percent of the face value without having to take a physical. When you first disappeared, you were covered for just over five million on your life. When I cashed it in, it was worth over ten million. It made economic sense to do it this way. With your accounting background you can appreciate that. I didn't keep that money. I split it into the trusts for Andrea and William. That worked well as I didn't have to share any of my money with them.

Since you are officially dead, all of our assets are overseas with me. I did give Andrea a little extra to help you out. You're still young enough to find a nice man. I bet you'll get rich selling this story to the tabloids. I feel pretty good about leaving you something to look forward to.

You might wonder why I didn't just kill you. How is that revenge? There's no suffering involved, you simply turn to dust and don't even know it. You had everything and it wasn't enough. Now you have lost something you can never get back. Eight years of your life is missing.

Try to imagine the love I feel for you.

Always and forever, like our wedding vows.

Paul'

For the second time in recent memory, Christina tells me I went berserk and injured my hands and feet kicking and hitting walls and furniture.

+ + + +

Epilogue:

Mary Ellen continues to have weekly counselling sessions. Disturbed comes pretty close to describing her mental state. Every once in a while she goes bat shit crazy.

Regaining her status as a living person continues to be a struggle. Opening accounts and then watching them get closed when some database still shows her to be deceased.

Paul and Demi were indicted on a page long list of laws broken. They continue to enjoy their freedom, and marriage, in some undisclosed location.

As predicted, the tabloids loved the story. With her son William as her agent, Mary Ellen now lives comfortably on the royalties from the book and movie deals. She spends all of her free time helping to raise her grandchildren. For some reason, Mary Ellen has no desire to start a relationship.