As I sit at my desk writing this story, I try to make sense of the problems that have recently beset me. My mind screams of the injustices that I have suffered at the hands of my wife and of the indignities that I have sustained, but a small part of me fully knows that this is a deserved and, possible predictable, retribution; a sort of twisted poetic justice.
Since my accident, I have been confined to this damn desk and to this godforsaken wheelchair. My computer, once the source of great entertainment, stands almost as forgotten as the feeling in my legs - my shattered and broken legs. Immediately subsequent to the accident, Jenny, my wife, was attentive and sympathetic, but as time drew onwards and my limbs showed little sign of reparation, her whole persona seemed to change. The sweet, doting wife that never asked questions or demanded explanations left me and was replaced by an altogether different being. The new Jenny was hard and sarcastic and seemed hell-bent on repaying her husband for his past behaviour.
I suppose, though, if I'm brutally honest, our marital problems began a long time before the accident that restricted me so mercilessly. Jenny and I were married in 1986. We were both twenty six at the time and, I for one, had enjoyed a full and varied sex life up to that point. Being young and energetic, I saw no reason to terminate my behaviour just because I was married. The first year of our union, I continued just as I had been before the wedding. I loved sex and took every opportunity to indulge myself in this most pleasurable of pastimes - unfortunately, it now seems, not only with my wife. Actually that is a crass understatement; I slept with just about every woman BUT my wife. Office parties, dinner engagements or even just chance meetings; I never missed an opportunity to have sex. I can recall one situation shortly before the accident.
Jenny and I had been invited to a friend's house for a diner party. The guests were varied and mainly in couples, but a pretty redhead, having been stood up at the last moment, was there alone. After a few glasses of wine, she ceased to be just pretty and, in my eyes at least, became one of the most attractive and desirable women that I had ever seen. I let my hand drop innocently and fleetingly touched her pale thigh. When I left it there and felt no resistance, I knew that I had to have her. To cut a long story short, the redhead and I offered to load the dishwasher whilst the other guests retired to the lounge for coffee. With Jenny and our friends in the very next room, I bent this most beautiful woman over the kitchen sink, pulled up the back of her dress and, sliding her panties down, fucked her from behind until we both came in a virtual earthquake of orgasm. I had to bury my face in her long, tapered neck and clamp a hand over her mouth to stop us both from screaming out our passion at the point of climax. This was certainly not the first, or last time that this happened and, whilst I was fairly sure that Jenny was not aware, talk of my continued affairs were the hushed whispers of most of our friends. In fact, the very night of the accident, I was driving home with the sweet aroma of my assistant's fragrant pussy still on my face.
But all that has changed now. The tables have been well and truly turned on me. Jenny had been becoming more and more acidic and contemptuous in her attitude towards me. We had not made love for over three months and, with my legs full of nuts, bolts and metal plates, I was certainly in no frame of mind to start then.
"You look so pathetic sitting there," she said to me one evening, her voice full of scorn, "I bet you couldn't even get it up for one of your little bitches now!" There it was. She knew. Perhaps she had always known. She looked at me, the pretty smile gone and replaced by a hateful sneer - I had obviously really hurt her. I felt so helpless. I longed to leap out of the dreaded wheelchair and show her what a real man I was: to throw her to the ground, rip her clothes from her still sexy body and ravish her, plunder her completely. But I knew that she was right; although physically unaffected by the accident, my wedding tackle had long since ceased to respond to any form of stimulus. Sneering at me again in a voice that cut right through me, Jenny stormed out of the house telling me that she was going to find a "real" man. I shouted and screamed at her, calling her all the names that I could think of, but within a few seconds I was berating an empty room.
I had not heard her come in that night - I now slept in the den - and the morning arrived to a stony silence between the two of us. Jenny still looked angry and I made the assessment that she had not found what she had been looking for the previous night.
"So, you couldn't find anyone to fuck a forty year old bitch, then?" I knew it was a mistake as soon as the words were out of my mouth, but I wanted to hurt her as she had hurt me the night before. Jenny turned and looked at me, her coffee cup poised just blow her painted lips. She said nothing. She didn't have to, her facial expression told me the contempt she felt for me. She held the stare for two whole minutes before she finally did speak.
"You're wrong. Tonight you'll see." she said it simply and plainly, all the recent acidity had left her voice. It was as if she were informing me of the day's weather. I tried to reply, but the words became stuck in my throat. It was probably just as well; I doubt if anything I did say at that point would have been very helpful.
Jenny left for work and my day began to drag. Thoughts of my wife with another man filled my head like a dream that I could not awake from. I tried to break up the day by surfing the Internet; visiting my favourite porn sites in the hope that something would detract my mind from the awful truth. But was it really that awful? Did I not deserve a taste of my own medicine? As the images on the monitor flashed up before my eyes, I could only see the familiar face of my wife in the faces of the models. It was as if she were teasing me as I looked at the photographs: Jenny being fucked, Jenny sucking on some giant dick, Jenny being gangbanged by several men at once. But as I opened more and more of the hardcore pictures, I felt a strange sensation in my loins - I was developing a hard-on! The more I looked at the action shots with Jenny's face superimposed in my mind, the harder my cock became. After two hours of surfing it became obvious to me that the thought of seeing my wife in this type of situation was hugely arousing. I masturbated that day for the first time in many months and when Jenny returned from work I was feeling more relaxed than I had for a long time. I was determined to talk to her. To forgive her as I hoped she would forgive me. I wanted us to try and start again.
When the door to our modest home opened at 6.15pm as usual, I had positioned my chair in the lounge so that I could welcome my wife home with a smile. I heard the front door close behind her and watched the handle of the lounge door move as she opened it. The smile left my face the instant I saw her companion. He was tall, blonde and young. The white T-shirt he wore did little to conceal the definition of his muscular torso and arms and the tight jeans hinted at a large endowment. Without bothering to introduce the young man, Jenny walked straight over to me and locked the brake on my wheelchair in position. I was looking directly into the centre of the room and was helpless to move.