This is a flight of fancy. A work of fiction. I may continue it further, I may not, haven't decided.
I hope you like it, I really do but if you don't please don't hesitate to hurl insults at me. It's not meant to be taken too seriously.
*****
Why does she always 'really need to talk' just when he's drifting off. He hated when she did this. Stone cold silence all evening (mustn't speak during Bones, God forbid) and now it's time to talk.
She had spent the evening with her stomach in knots. Could it be true? No, that's not what she wanted to know. She didn't care if it was true, she couldn't face it if that was the truth. She wanted a feasible denial. She just needed him to deny it and she would believe him. All evening she tried to think of a way to bring it up but couldn't. It was just so confrontational, it didn't come easy and now time had run out. He would be asleep in a moment and that would mean a night of lying awake wondering, worrying, and imagining the worst.
"Ian, have you seen the front page of the Messenger?" She asked him almost casually.
He begrudgingly clawed his way back towards compos mentis, "What?"
"Have you seen the headlines in the local paper?"
He had, of course he had, it was on display in every garage forecourt, newsagents and supermarket in the area. A chill ran through him when he realised where this was going. He tried to brush it aside with vague dismissal, "Something about that hacked website wasn't it? Haven't read it, not interested in tittle tattle"
"Ian three people from your firm were identified as users of the website. Adulterers Inc. website. It must be the main topic of conversation in your canteen! Does anyone know who the three are?" All the pent up words were tumbling out over themselves, she felt a huge relief and sounded almost excited to be discussing it. He wasn't quite sure what was going through his wife's head right now but she didn't sound angry or upset so he relaxed a bit himself.
"Actually there's been no discussion of it at all that I'm aware of." He laughed softly and continued, his train of thought coming out without due consideration.
"Either there's so many members who weren't picked up terrified it might be them or no one's talking to me about it because...because er, whatever reason"
Maybe his wife wouldn't have paid quite so much notice to his implied reason if he hadn't come to such a juddering clumsy halt. This isn't how it's supposed to go! Feasible denial. Just give a simple believable lie. 'No it's never been mentioned' would do, but this? This just raised more doubts. Neither spoke for what seemed the longest time. Ian knew he had seriously fucked up and tried to think how he could handle things. He decided to brazen it out, belittle the situation, so what? Nothing had happened, he'd never actually met anyone. It wasn't cheating if there was no physical contact. Storm in a teacup. It'll all blow over. Not like he caught an STD or anything! Yeah, yeah that's the tack, that's what he'd say.
"Look Julie, let's not blow this out of all proportion..."
"It was you wasn't it. You're one of them. You bastard! You utter two faced back stabbing bastard!" Julie's screaming back took him totally off guard.
"You, you Fucker! Why did you do this to us? How could you do this to us?!"
Ian flinched and pulled back away from her. She noticed him cower and if she wasn't angry enough with him already she lost that extra little bit of respect for him right there.
"Get out." Her words were hushed and calm.
"Get out of my bed!"
Ian just stared at her unsure of himself and of this woman his wife had become. When he made no attempt to move she snapped.
"Get out of my fucking bed you bastard! You're not sleeping with me tonight. We'll talk about this tomorrow."
Again she saw him flinch, inwardly she sneered at her husband of the last 15 years and another iota of respect died.
Neither of them got much sleep that night. Julie lay in the marital bed mostly staring at the ceiling, occasionally crying. Going over and over in her head, not how they had come to this, she knew about his indiscretions, but he'd just always provided feasible deniability. Now she had to face up to things. Reality wasn't as kind.
Ian had gone to the only place he could hope to sleep, the sofa. It was long and wide and comfortable enough but he knew he had dropped a major bollock this time. This was his most serious screw up and the repercussions, both professionally and at home could be huge. How the hell he was going to deal with this would influence his career and his marriage. Round and round the situation went through his head. Damage limitation strategies.
If he could keep Julie on side that would make things easier and more straightforward with the career. If he could talk her round to showing him support that would really help. If not, if she was going to be difficult there were ways. He could denounce her, he'd had his doubts but always stood by her out of loyalty. However now it was obvious she was unbalanced. Something like that. Had to do something to limit the divorce settlement, should it come to that. He had people that would fine tune the details. He would be fine, might even end up with a younger dirtier model. What is it they say? The Chinese have the same word for challenge as they do for opportunity? Sounds about right.
Next morning Julie came down the stairs after eventually falling into a fitful sleep for several hours. She was far from refreshed but as she walked through the lounge to the kitchen her nerves were rattled by her husband's snoring as he slept soundly. To be fair he hadn't been asleep more than an hour, but Julie didn't know that.
She sat in the kitchen in her silk pyjamas, nursing her coffee and wondering what to do next. She pondered her life. She didn't have to work as such. Ian provided more than enough. She was able to indulge herself in a little charity work. Couple of days helping run a local charity shop and a stall at the annual summer fete. Made her feel she was doing her bit. Otherwise she had lunches with friends, a nice home, no kids to worry about, regular trips to the gym and pool to keep her 37C-26-35 beach ready (she knew her body was in good shape for someone a decade younger than her 39 years, which is a lot more than could be said for her husband of the same age) , two good holidays a year, a BMW 3 series. Not a bad life. Not something she would hastily throw away...But that snoring bastard out there, he needed bringing down a peg or two.
She was just starting her second coffee when Ian lumbered in bleary eyed and yawning. He had slept in just his briefs and a dressing gown pulled round him and looked awful. At least it was the weekend and he wasn't expected at work. Ian helped himself to a coffee from the cafetiere and sat opposite his wife. He reached out a hand to touch hers but she wasn't ready for that sort of contact and withdrew.
"Julie, I am sorry. Really sorry. You know I would never deliberately hurt you"
"Sorry you got caught" she muttered into her cup before taking a swig.
"Yes, of course, that too. If I hadn't got caught we wouldn't be having this conversation and you wouldn't be hurting."
"If you really cared about not hurting me we wouldn't be having this conversation because you wouldn't have risked everything, our marriage, your reputation, by joining that fucking website!" There was real venom in her words and he knew to tread carefully.
"Do you have a particular favourite on there? A special friend? Multiple special friends? Do they make you feel better than I do?"
This last question was hushed and there was crack in her voice, the wayward husband had difficulty thinking of an appropriate response, he just stared into his coffee cup.
"Well?! Answer me, did you just sleep your way through the site or did you a regular mistress? "
"I didn't sleep with anyone. I swear I never came into physical contact with any of them."
Julie looks puzzled, this isn't as bad as she had first been lead to assume. Still not good, but if he hadn't fucked anyone. She needed clarification.
"So what? You made friends? Special friends?"
'Friends' was dripping in sarcastic. She didn't want him fucking around, but she sure as hell didn't want him forming meaningful relationships, that could be a real danger to her marriage.
"There were a couple women in there I would talk with. Sex talk nothing more, they would discuss their fantasies and occasionally would act them out on cam. I got off hearing and seeing them on cam."
"Tell me what you did."
Ian signed, composed himself and launched his tale.
"Sally was frustrated in her marriage, her husband didn't satisfy her and she found herself..."
"No! I don't care about her circumstances, I'm not interested in any attempts at justifying this or ships that pass in the night bullshit. I said tell me what you DID."
Julie hardly recognised herself, this was so unlike her. She didn't know where all this was coming from, something inside her had snapped. She had never been forced to face up to one of Ian's transgressions like this before and after years of repression floodgates had burst.
"I want every sordid detail."
"One time Sally was on cam. She was telling me she wanted to be used by strangers. Not just used, taken and forced to perform. To be their slut. She had a selection of toys, dildo, vibrator, rabbit and a wand.."
"Rabbit? What the fuck...? "
"It's like a dual pronged vibrator, doesn't matter."
Julie's mind was in turmoil. She realised she was in over her head. She hadn't exactly been a virgin when she met Ian and neither was he but they were both pretty inexperienced. Julie didn't consider herself a prude. She had a healthy interest in sex and thoroughly enjoyed intercourse. She only ever refused Ian during menstruation and was always happy to indulge him otherwise. She had honed her oral techniques on Ian and was delighted when he first practiced, and eventually perfected, cunnilingus on her. Her favourite position was when she was on top. She loved to control the pace and degree of penetration and could use it to hold him off until either she came first, or ideally both came together. She was even happy for him to insert his thumb up her ass. Nothing bigger than that but a thumb felt good.
She had never bothered with toys, she preferred a real dick to a plastic one and if, for whatever reason, a real cock wasn't available her fingers did a satisfactory job.