When I first went off to college, I immediately pledged a fraternity. I wasn't interested in that brotherhood stuff so much; I just figured it was the best way to drink a lot of beer and fuck a lot of women.
It didn't work out that way.
When I went to my first keg party, they wouldn't give me a wrist band because I wasn't 21. And it was there that I met Jennie, an underage virgin just like me.
We became inseparable. We were known as Jack'n'Jennie from then on because you didn't get one without the other.
After we earned our degrees, we married, bought a condo in the city, and started our careers. We remained inseparable. We worked at two different companies but had lunch together nearly every day and went home together nearly every evening. As they say, we worked hard and played even harder. We made a few friends, had a lot of adventures, and life was good.
Everything was going along fine until I was up for a great promotion. I would be making really good money and I had a bright future ahead, so I figured it was time to move to the suburbs and start raising a family.
It didn't work out that way.
Jennie shook her head and said, "Jack, we need to talk about that."
I was in shock, "What do you mean? We've been talking about this for years."
"Jack, have you ever wondered what you missed out on? I've never been with another man and I know you've never been with another woman. Do you ever wonder what it would be like?"
"No Jennie." I spoke slowly and precisely because I wanted to be completely unequivocal, "I met the love of my life early on and I have never had any regrets - never. And I certainly don't feel that I've missed out on anything."
I paused for a moment to calm myself and then, nearly whispering, said, "Jennie, don't beat around the bush. Just tell me what you're going on about. Rip the damn bandage off!"
Jennie smiled sadly; she knew how I was, "Jack, you know that Mary Ellen just graduated, right?"
Well, things were becoming clearer. Mary Ellen was Jennie's younger sister by a good many years and she was a spoiled, petulant child, a change-of-life baby who could do no wrong in her parents' eyes. I never liked or trusted her and now I knew I really hated her.
Jennie went on, "Well, she's going to Europe to teach English as a Second Language and I'm going to go with her."
I stared at her. I knew Jennie well enough to understand that this was no joke. She really intended to go off with her sister. I spent the evening trying to change her mind but she blithely dismissed everything I said. This went on for hours and even though I knew I wasn't making any headway, I still had to try.
Unfortunately, my efforts seemed to have the opposite effect from what I intended. Rather than convincing her to stay, the more I told her I loved her and needed her, the more it seemed to convince her that I would be there when she returned. Finally, I took a deep breath and very quietly said, "You understand that if you do this, it's the end of our marriage, right?"
I guess she had actually anticipated that I might say this and she had a ready response, "No, Jack. It only means we'll be taking a time-out. We'll both get to try new things and when I come back we'll settle into a boring suburban life and start a family."
Apparently, she didn't know me any better than I knew her because at that point I realized that I had had enough. I filed for divorce immediately.
I was surprised again when the divorce papers didn't faze her even a little bit. She shook her head and said, "You're wasting money, Jack, but at least now, no one will be cheating, will they? When I get back we'll start fresh and get remarried. You'll see." She patted me on the head as she walked away.
She was delusional and I simply shook my head sadly.
A no-fault divorce without children is practically a do-it-yourself project here: a 30-day notice and then six months later it becomes official. Since we both had good incomes (at least we did on the date of filing), there was no call for support payments. Counseling was useless and a judge couldn't order it anyway. We kept our own 401(k)'s and would split the profit on the sale of the condo when it was sold after the divorce became final. Jennie didn't even wait for the marriage to end; the title company told me they had to wire the funds to an account in Barcelona.
* * *
For myself, it was tough. I knew I wanted to get married and raise a family, but I wasn't much interested in jumping back into the dating market. Going to bars to find a new wife seemed both stupid and pathetic; I had no interest in taking up some hobby just to meet women; and dating apps seemed sick. I was stuck.
Then I got the text from Marilyn asking me to call her.
Marilyn was Jennie's best friend at work. She and her husband Gerald were both our age and, like us, didn't have children yet. And they were also two of the nicest people I had have ever met. So I was curious what was up. I called her and she insisted I had to come over for drinks and dinner and they simply wouldn't take 'no' for an answer.
When I arrived, Marilyn hugged me and told me how sorry she was for us, "Jack, let me assure you that I knew nothing about what Jennie was planning. I asked her if you had done something to deserve this and she looked at me oddly and said that you were the perfect husband and she expected you two to grow old together, that this was something she felt she had to do. ... Honestly, I don't understand it at all. I told her she was playing with fire, that she was going to lose you to another woman."
As she spoke, her husband kept nodding his head in agreement as he continued working at the barbecue grill. Gerald was a man of few words and I appreciated that.
I told Marilyn that I certainly didn't blame her in any way. This was all on Jennie, but Mary Ellen was the one behind it.
"Your mean her younger sister?" I nodded yes and she continued, "I've met her a few times. I know she's young and immature but do you really think she's able to influence Jennie like that?"
"Marilyn, you have to understand that Mary Ellen isn't just immature, she's a wild child and pure id in motion. Most people are repelled by her act, but Jennie and her parents think she's perfect in everything she does.
"My former sister-in-law and I have never gotten along and she has always taken every opportunity to tell Jennie that she should dump me and get a real man in her life. I certainly didn't think it was funny when she actually tried to sabotage my marriage.
"Mary Ellen was staying with us while her parents were out of town and she tried to seduce me, or, at least, put me in a very bad position. Jennie was outside working in the garden and I was in our home office when Mary Ellen walked in wearing only bra and panties.
"She said, 'Hey, Jack, see anything you like.' I wasn't actually surprised. I knew she was capable of doing something like this, so, as she spun around in front of me, I quickly started recording with my phone.