Adam's Journey

"So, Kristi, Where do you propose we go from here?"

"I don't know, Adam. Do you think you could ever accept the idea that I like to have sex with other men?"

Truth be told, I was sitting there rock hard just from listening to her talk about it. My body was obviously more than willing to accept the idea, but emotionally, mentally, I was not at all sure that I could. Or that I wanted to.

"Oh, babe, I don't know. That's a pretty big thing to come to grips with. I mean past experiences, sure, no problem, we knew we each had a past. And the fantasy is fun, but hearing about current experiences and knowing you were doing it..."

I stopped, not sure where to carry that thought. "What if I say no, I can't accept it? Where does that leave us? You say you love me, and I know I love you, and we're supposed to get married, but this...what now?"

"You know Adam, it doesn't have to be such a big thing. Just think about sex as fun, as a recreational activity, and don't attach so much importance to it. Sex and love may be tied together, but they're not always the same thing. I do love you, and I do want very much to marry you if you'll still have me, but I'm not sure I can stop wanting other men - just for the sex, the variety and excitement though! Adam, I don't love them you know.

I just looked at her, not quite believing what she was saying. Apparently she wanted other cocks more than she wanted to marry me. If she wasn't so damn beautiful, and sexy, and sweet, and smart, and everything else I wanted and needed in my life I would have walked out. Except I knew I would never find anyone else that was so close to perfect for me. As it was I couldn't seem to make myself get up and leave, and so I sat there and looked at her, and felt like I died a little inside.

She must have seen the pain in my eyes, and she moved over next to me and put one hand on my shoulder and the other on my thigh, her face close to mine. She felt so warm, and smelled so amazing. I wanted her, I couldn't help myself.

"You know how when I tell you about my past sexual experiences and it turns you on so much, you do know that your arousal and excitement turns me on too, don't you? When I tell you about giving a blow job to a guy and your cock gets so hard like it does, it makes me really wet. You know what my fantasy is?"

I could only croak out a soft "No."

She got very close to my ear, and spoke in a soft whispery voice. "I want to tie you naked to a chair, facing the bed, then bring another guy in and strip him, right in front of you, and kneel down and take his soft cock in my mouth while you watch."

I could feel her hot breath on my neck, and her long hair trailing over my arm. Her right breast was against my arm, and I could feel her hard nipple every time she moved. My heart was hammering, and I couldn't speak.

"Then while I sucked him and got him hard your dick would get all huge and hard, but you couldn't move. I'd make him take my clothes off, slowly, then I'd bend over in front of you and show you how wet my pussy was, and we'd both look at you, tied up and helpless, your cock sticking straight up."

She ran her hand up my thigh and touched my cock, which was every bit as hard as she described. "See. This isn't so bad, is it? Maybe you would find out that you really liked it as more than just a fantasy."

She continued to softly run her fingers over my cock, and I was afraid I would further embarrass myself by cumming in my pants any second.

"Kristi, stop this. I don't think this is a good idea, and I find the whole thing totally repulsive. I don't want you to fuck other guys, I don't want to be tied up, and I don't want to watch you, and that's the bottom line."

She didn't pull away as I expected. Instead, she continued to torture me, and touch me, knowing I would not be able to resist.

"Your mouth is saying no, but your cock is saying 'Please, more!' Do you want me to suck it for you?"

God yes, of course I wanted her to suck it! "No, I don't want you to suck me. Now please stop." She didn't.

"So, now with you all tied up and hard, and him thick and hard, and me all wet, what happens next? Hmm, should he take me doggy style? Or maybe I'll just lay on my back and he can put my legs up over his shoulders while he pounds it into me and you can watch his balls slap on my ass. Or I could push him back and ride him, so you could see his cock slide in and out of my wet pussy. What do you want me to do next? Tell me."

"Kristi, please..." The front of my shorts were a tent over my hard cock, and a wet spot was showing where cum was leaking from me. She slid her hand up the open leg and squeezed my balls.

"You're not going to cum in your pants, are you? Because that blow job offer is still open. Let's see, where was I? Oh yeah... I think I let him do me doggy style, holding my hips and shoving his hard cock deep inside of me. You watch, your cock leaking like it is now, and you hear me cum again and again, then you hear him groan as he starts to cum, deep inside of me, and you see his cock twitch, and pump spurt after spurt of his thick white cum into me, way up inside. Adam, are you about to cum?"

I was, very soon, but I lied. "No, I'm not going to cum. I have to leave now though, I need to get home. Please Kristi, I really should go."

"Baby, you can't walk home with your cock sticking out like that. Besides, I haven't told you the best part. After he cums in me I get up, and I come over to you. You can see the cum running down my thighs as I straddle you, and you don't want it on you but you're tied up still and can't move. You're helpless!"

She touched my hair, then my neck.

"Slowly, very slowly I lower myself down onto your enormous erection, until my cum covered pussy is just brushing you, then until the head of your cock is just slipping between my lips and his cum is running down your shaft."

Her fingers touched my cock and it was over, I was cumming violently in my pants. She knew, and started squeezing and stroking me hard, drawing gasps and groans, and gushes of cum from me. "Oh Kristi, oh my god! Oh fuck, unhhh!"

"That's it baby, just cum, cum hard, oh yes, oh good baby, just look at you! You needed that, didn't you? That's it, just think about your cock pushing deep in my cum-filed pussy and get it over with, that's it."

She laughed, looking down at the still growing puddle of cum soaking through my shorts, as her hand continued to squeeze and pump my thick shaft.

"God, your cock is hard as a rock! Are you ever going to stop cumming?"

"Oh, god, I don't know! Oh, please stop, stop!" Despite the fact that cum continued to pump from me, I was in that post-orgasm phase where my cock becomes ultra-sensitive, and her touch was near painful.

"No, not 'til you're all done. Am I driving you crazy? Is this too intense for you?" She pumped me for several more seconds, as my body spasmed uncontrollably. Finally I quit oozing out semen and she released me. I collapsed, limp and spent, back into the chair, taking a shaky breath. "Sweet lord! Oh my god, I think you killed me!"

She laughed again, and I loved the sound. "God Adam, look at you!. I've never seen you cum like that, your pants are soaked, my hand is covered, it's all over you. That was amazing. Apparently you really like the idea of me fucking other men while you watch, huh?"

"Oh Kristi, listen, that was a fantasy. Fantasies and reality are two totally different things. I could never watch you do something like that, I wouldn't want to. I'd just die inside I think." I remembered the gut punch I'd felt when I'd seen her the previous day.

Her face fell. "Oh Adam, I hoped that maybe..."

"Kristi, we need some time, or I do, to sort through this. I just don't know how to deal with it."

She stood and turned her back to me. "I'll get you a towel and see if I can find some dry pants for you to wear home. Will John's stuff fit you?"

I could tell she was disappointed, or maybe even a little angry.

"Probably not." I told her to look for something with elastic or a drawstring waist, I'm bigger than John. As she left the room, I stood and began to pull off my cum-soaked pants.

She returned as I was trying to use my pants to wipe off some of the mess. She had a small towel and a pair of bright blue nylon running shorts, which she handed to me, and then stood back and watched me try to clean myself up a little bit.

Oddly, I felt very self-conscious standing there mostly naked as she watched me. I mean, this was Kristi, one of only two women on earth with whom I've been able to be completely intimate and open, and I thought even totally uninhibited, and yet now I was embarrassed that she had made me cum so easily and was staring at my nakedness as I tried to recover a little dignity. I quickly pulled on the shorts, which were, as expected, much too tight.

John is about 5'10, but slender, maybe 165 lbs soaking wet, and these shorts probably fit fairly snugly on him.

Kristi smiled at my discomfort.

"Those are nice. It looks like you stuffed potatoes or something down the front of your pants."

That made me smile too, and eased the tension. "Thanks. Are you sure there wasn't maybe something a little larger in his closet?"

"Nope. Everything else either buttons or zips, you'd never get them closed."

"Swell. Oh well, thank god it's dark out. I'd better get home." I turned toward the door.

"Adam? Stay a little longer - we should talk."

"I don't know, I should probably go."

"Please Adam? We've always been able to talk to each other. At least give me a chance to talk to you. Here, give me your shorts, I'll wash them with some of my stuff and get them back to you."

Reluctantly I gave in, and held my cum-soaked shorts out to her. She took them and held them up, shaking her head at how soaked they were.

"That's just incredible. You just exploded all over. Did it feel as good as it looked like?"

I had to admit that it did. "Yeah, it was very intense. Almost painfully so. You know they say there's a fine line between pain and pleasure, and that was right on the line. I kind of feel like I'm still aching a little bit."

"It made me really horny too, seeing you do that."

I knew that it would have. Kristi can't see, touch, or suck a cock without getting all creamy inside. Part of me wanted to go down on her and taste her arousal, but another part kept seeing that stranger's cock thrusting and squirting inside of her, and his cum dripping out of her, so I resisted the urge to put my tongue in her pussy. Besides, I was still trying very hard to be angry and upset with her.

When I failed to respond to her veiled invitation to help her with her arousal problem she took my shorts down the hall and tossed them into the laundry room. I was standing in the same spot when she returned.

"Sit Adam. Let's talk."

We took the chairs opposite each other again, so that we could look each other in the eye as we talked. As I tried to sit, the tight shorts crushed my balls in a vise-like grip. I groaned and tried to adjust, but it didn't help much.

Kristi noticed my discomfort. "Why don't you take those off? You look miserable. You can put them back on before you leave you know."

She was right, and if I was going to sit there very long there was no other alternative. I quickly stripped them off and sat, putting the slightly semen-dampened towel over my lap. She had the nerve to laugh at me.

"Since when are you so modest around me?"

"Kristi, can we just talk, please?"

"OK." She paused, and we just looked at each other. She's so goddamn beautiful it hurts me. I can't imagine my life without her there, with me, every day. I didn't want to live the rest of my life in a monochrome world, but she brings the light, and the colors, and the warmth and laughter, and now it's all screwed up. I feel close to panic. Maybe an anxiety attack feels like this, I don't know.

"Adam, what are we going to do? I don't want to lose you, I can't. I need you."

Stupid stubborn ass that I am: "You should have thought of that before..."

"I know Adam, I know! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I don't know what else to say. I should have told you - I would have, I didn't want you to find out like that. I fucked up bad and I know that, but haven't you ever made a mistake? Don't I even get a second chance?" Her eyes filled with tears.

She made a valid point. I've been known to make mistakes. A lot lately, it seemed like. And she was crying, which always makes me weak.

"Of course Kristi. I love you, god I love you so much, I won't deny that, but that's why it hurt so bad, and then you tell me that you don't know if you can stop having other men, or if you even want to - what am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to think? Tell me."

She pulled her feet up onto the edge of her seat and wraped her arms around her legs, leaning her head against her knees and crying softly. Her long blond hair trails down over her arms, and, perfectly framed between her ankles, her smooth, naked pussy draws my eyes like a magnet.

I knew that her short t-shirt would do this to me eventually, but is it wrong for me to notice the slick wetness of her arousal when she is so obviously hurting, and I am trying so hard to push her away?

Without raising her head she says softly "Adam, couldn't you just try to be open-minded, just try it? Look how aroused you get - your body is open to the idea, try listening to your body and open your mind, you might find that you really like it."

I have the sneaking suspicion that she knows exactly what her pose is doing to me, that the view of her beautiful pink pussy is not just a coincidence, is not accidental. No matter, my cock tries to stir despite the recent action, and fireworks start in my groin.

"Kristi, do you really think I would come to enjoy knowing that you were actually fucking other men? Do you really, actually, think that?"

"Well, you wouldn't have to just know about it. I really do want you to watch me do it, or even join in, that would really be exciting for me. Wouldn't you like to see me suck a cock and then have it cum in me while you watched? I know you'd get hard and horny, and we could do it after, all night. That guy would just be the warm-up, the appetizer, but you'd be the main course. They could cum and go, but you'd stay with me, always."

"There's a whole world of sexuality out there Adam, it's one of the most basic human needs. We could go explore it together if you like. Please Adam, will you just think about it?"

I knew I wouldn't be able to stop thinking about it. I was getting hard again, and I'm sure she knew it. I don't know why my body and my mind just don't seem to be on the same wavelength, but it's tearing me apart.