(This is the continuing story of Mike and Adam, best friends who had suddenly discovered their new found sexual attraction to one another. They have had a couple of rounds of hot sex together, including a mutual jack job on the golf course. They are now headed home to cyber chat with their families. The first installments in the story are under the gay/bi section. If you are interested, click on the link for my other stories. Hope you enjoy this.)
*
We left the club as the hazy sunshine turned into one of those oppressively humid and hot upstate New York summer days. I was glad for air conditioning. Adam and I made small talk as he drove us back to his house. From there we agreed to meet back at my house later in the evening to have a late dinner, work on the preliminary planning of the next project and then watch a movie or baseball game on my new plasma HD television. It was time for us to use our respective webcams to stay connected to our family. My mind and body were both swimming in the combined effects of gratification and complication. How quickly my friendship with Adam had changed. I had respected Adam for his intellect, often displayed in brilliant application of mechanical engineering principles. I had loved Adam as the brother I never really had, enjoying the camaraderie of sports and a very close friendship during the ups and downs of life. I coveted Adam's confidentiality, by which I could share anything in my heart without fear of betrayal.
I now had crossed a bridge I had never imagined I would ever cross with him and it had become a watershed event. I had allowed Adam (subconsciously invited?...secretly desired?) into the innermost circle of my existence. Our bond had gone from an emotional, perhaps even metaphysical, one and added the dimension of intensely gratifying sex. I would not willingly turn the clock back.
I ruminated on how my relationship with my wife had changed. Actually, the marriage changes had been taking place slowly over the last three to four years. The two things we both loved dearly in this world, our daughters, along with their needs and school involvements had become the thing that was now in between us.
Admittedly, my work at the college and the extra project with Adam had gotten my family priorities a little out of focus. While I was busying myself there, my wife Angie had devoted herself to the girls. Suddenly it seemed like we did not have much in common. Angie did not seem to have any energy left for me at the end of the day. Being the typical man, I was ready to get it on every night, only to have my longing smile returned with a kiss and immediate snoring. Many nights I fell into a fitful sleep Morning showers frequently included a jack off session intended to lessen the sexual tension building up in my body. Those sessions truly only served to add to my frustration.
I had tried to bring my needs to Angie's attention, willing at the same time to admit my shortcomings regarding my family. Even having confessed the convolution of my priorities and making changes to rectify them, Angie still did not seem very interested in me physically. When the current of a man's passion is shut off at the source, he will inevitably look for another power supply. Frankly, I was refreshed physically, and to some degree emotionally, by my new found sexual expression with Adam.
As I drove back home, I came to grips with several issues that had been milling around in the back of my mind. First, I knew for certain that I was not at all willing to give up on my wife or my family. I was still very much in love with Angie and I would never put my daughters at risk of a broken home. What was happening was not their fault at all. I was determined to find a way back into the center of my wife's affections, both emotionally and physically.
I also understood that I was not gay. How I secretly detested those swishy boys that seemed to swarm together on campus. Granted, their numbers were not big but their presence was unmistakable. They made my stomach turn. However, I could not get past the fact of my passionate attraction to Adam. I knew that what was at the root of it was pre-existing brotherly love for my friend.
Now, most guys perhaps are not in tune with affection very much. My own dad was always affirming his love for me both by word and by physical touch. Growing up, he would often put his arm on my shoulder to point something out or explain something, even into my college years. I never thought a thing about it except to realize later that he was never ashamed of his love and affection for me. I never thought it was wrong to care for another man but in general I did not often seek relationships with other men because we are an inherently self serving bunch.
Adam was different. We just hit it off right from the very beginning. Being on the same plane intellectually, and being equally gifted athletically, we became fast friends. I remember how stunned Adam was when I told him the first time that I loved him like a brother and how I deeply appreciated his friendship. Adam possesses a keen understanding and insight into many aspects of life and yet I could see that I had taken him off guard. Another man may have been embarrassed or intimidated or put off, Adam merely nodded and said, "Same, buddy." He gave me a big bear hug. As I recall, our groins innocently grazed together and I was secretly shocked at my own pleasant reaction to it.
Further, I was also quite certain at this point that I would not be willing to give up this new aspect of my friendship with Adam. I would never let it be the deciding factor in my marriage but at this point I was not at all ready to cease what had just begun. How I would make the moral, emotional, and physical balance among these areas remained to be seen. I would not willingly be a hypocrite if I could help it.
I arrived home, changed out of my damp golf clothes, and started a load of laundry. I booted up my pc and engaged my Road Runner connection. If we had our signals right, my wife would be logging on in the next fifteen minutes or so. I checked my various email accounts, surfed Ebay for a little while and then saw the flashing icon on my application tray. I turned my webcam on, adjusted it for distance and clarity and clicked on the icon.
The image of my wife and daughters lit up my display and my heart. How good it was to see them, even if the technology that made it possible also made it seem a little counterfeit. The girls excitedly told me about their doings on the ranch and how they had gotten progressively better riding horses. In fact, they were all dressed and ready to go out on the trails with Adam's daughters, accompanied by one of the couples on staff. They blew me kisses and ran off laughing in anticipation of their venture into some of the nearby canyons.
As soon as they left, Angie's face fell, betraying a deep emotion that seemed about ready to burst to the surface. Her eyes welled up with tears and she said, "Oh, Mike, I am so sorry." Fear and shock coursed through my system as I gulped my suddenly aching heart back down my throat. What was this all about?
"What's wrong, Honey?" I asked. "Did something bad happen out there? What's the matter?"
"No, nothing like that. Oh, Mike, I am so sorry," Angie sobbed, burying her face in her hands. I was definitely on the outside looking in. How I longed to be able to put my arms around her and give her the security of my embrace, even if I was trembling inside at why she was sorry, and for what. I could tell that her burden was heavy, whatever it was.
I tried to encourage her. "Whatever it is, we can work it out, Ang. We'll hold hands and work it out together. What's wrong, honey?" I was trying my best not to beg but I am like every other guy when it comes to a woman's tears. We simply want to know what's wrong so we can fix it. Guys have wrenches and tools for every occasion. I was sure that once I knew what the problem was, I could fix it in a heart beat.
She looked back up at the webcam, wiped her eyes with a tissue, and spoke. "Oh, Mike, I am sorry. Oh, where do I begin? Through an incident that I'll explain when you get here, I suddenly realized that I had been wrong about several things. First off, I thought you were way off base spending so much time at work, and with Adam on that project. At the same time, I sure was enjoying the benefits of what your hard work had brought to our lives. I began to see that I was wrong for holding it against you on the one hand and yet maximizing the opportunities it brought to us on the other. I know you need your work. I know you need to provide for me and the girls. And you are doing both duties very well and I am proud of you. I'm sorry I have not said that more often before now. I am proud of you and I love you so much."
Well, hit me with a two by four! Was I really hearing this? Could it be that my perspective was really NOT out of whack? I was at a loss for words and could only manage a weak smile and said, "Uh, okay, thanks honey."
"Oh, there's more. I have been too involved in the girl's school activities and auxiliary groups. I was so self-righteous and smug knowing that I was doing a good thing for the girls. I was willing to let you tag along if you wanted but this was my little corner of the world and I was going to make a good showing for the girls. I did not realize what I was doing and I am going to change that."
Angie wiped her eyes and continued, "Honey, I am ashamed to admit that the girls had somehow become more important than you. I realized that I was doing bunch of real good things at the expense of the more important thing. I never intended to have you pushed off to the side. I have talked with the girls and told them that from now on, my most important involvement in their schooling would be to concentrate on giving them a better home life."
Where is that two by four coming from? I just got hit again! I managed a "Wow, Angie! This is pretty heavy stuff..." before tears welled up in my own eyes and a boulder materialized in my throat.
"But one of the biggest mistakes I realized I was making was with you. I seemed to have forgotten how much you need me. And quite honestly, I had forgotten how much I enjoy and need you. I got to thinking about our wedding night and how gentle and tender you were that night and what a gentle lover you are for me. Once I got my head cleared out of all the other areas that I had been wrong in, I realized that this was probably the biggest one. Frankly, Mike, I unintentionally became a cold bitch to you..." Angie sobbed. There was nothing to do but wait patiently for this emotional squall to pass.
