CAST
Mark Lewis - Our protagonist, an insurance company man who busts fraudsters.
Andrea Lewis-Hampton - A part time saleswoman and mother, Mark is convinced she is cheating on him.
Susie, Mark Jr - Their children.
Jake Lewis - Mark's older brother. A cross between a cranky cowboy and an engineer.
Mandy Lewis - Jake's wife and professional "bimbo". Not too bright... or is it all an act?
Margaret "Maggs" Fields - Andrea's best friend from college. Party girl and serial adulteress.
Frank Fields - Margaret's clueless husband.
Paul Jackson - Executive director of Sales and Marketing. Suspected of having an affair with Andrea. He's up to something.
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A Year and a Day - Chapter 3
Jake Lewis
I was choking down a bourbon at this overpriced Hawaiian resort bar - twelve bucks a pour, if you can believe it, when Mandy bounced over, looking like a Barbie doll on a mission. Pink dress hugging every outrageous curve, towering heels and blonde hair swinging like she was filming a Pantene commercial.
"Ready for some fun, honey?" she chirped with a wink.
I knocked back the last of my drink and rolled my eyes. She had her game face on, the one that made her a star online. Don't let the bubble gum vibe fool you, under all that sparkle and sex appeal, she's a shark. Maybe not a great white, possibly just a large pink fluffy shark, with glitter for teeth, but all the same, she's got a bite. Lord knows I've seen her chew up and spit out enough suckers, all with a smile on her face and a giggle on her lips. She's the best kind of woman, and the worst kind, if you know what I mean.
"Let's go babe."
I put my drink down and followed behind her - close, but not too close. We had a plan tonight, one that I thought had a pretty good chance of working. At lest better than when Mark dragged me into this mess months ago. We screwed that one up, well mostly Mandy and I screwed each other and barely managed to remember what we were there for. In the end, it didn't matter - Andrea wasn't even in Chicago, which in its own way was vindication of Mark's suspicions, but still not hard evidence of the affair he suspected.
We move from the casual bar, across the great hotel lobby and into the function area, both of us seeing the victim at the same time. Paul, Andrea's boss. A look was exchanged between us, the kind that only people who have been married practically forever would understand, and I made myself melt into the background while Mandy stepped on the gas.
Now, it's hard to understand the effect my wife has on people unless you've seen it in action. Think something along the lines of, trophy wife Barbie meets an exotic dancer, with twice as much tits and an ass that belongs in a rap video and you'd be in the right neighbourhood, but still not quite there. The best way I can describe it is by describing how people react - mouths hang open, wives slap their husbands, the phones come out and people forget all sense of propriety and just start filming. It's like they can't believe it, things like this don't happen in real life, women like that don't
exist
in real life.
And they're right in a way, but now we're starting to get metaphysical and complicated.
Anyway, all this happened just like I said it would, and I have to admit, even after seeing this a hundred or so times, it's still pretty amusing watching a room full of people wondering what the fuck is going on. Paul was no different - he saw Mandy approaching the bar and I think he almost dropped his drink in his lap.
This was the reason why we were here. A couple of months ago my brother Mark asked for our help and the three of us outlined this rough plan. Andrea had told him she was jetting off to Hawaii for an RBS sales conference. It was technically true if you tilted your head and squinted your eyes, but everything she left out was a lie of omission so big that it needed it's own zip code. Mark had a GPS on her, sniffed out a shady stash of cash, almost a quarter of a million dollars she shouldn't have and now he needed us to drive the stake through her cheating heart. Paul Jackson, Andrea's scumbag boss, was the target, and Mandy was the lure..
She was already working the mark, Paul was eying her up and down, showing off his veneers and buying her drinks when some RBS geek waddled up, eyes popping out of his skull when he saw Mandy. "No way, I know you! You're famous!"
Mandy, bless her bimbo heart, just giggled and said, "Well, I guess we all know what kind of porn you watch now!"
There was a brief discussion and tubby pulled out his phone and showed something to Paul. Mandy was commenting something and laughing, I couldn't make it out so I drifted closer.
Paul spun around, grinning like he'd hit the jackpot, and I could see the sleaze oozing out of him. "Love your stuff," he slurred, practically drooling. "Got an event tonight--fancy shit. You should come." Mandy giggled, twirling her hair like a cartoon bimbo. "Ooh, sounds so fab! Can my buddy Jake come too? He's, like, my photo guy--makes me look all pretty!" Paul squinted at me, suspicious, probably figuring I was some jealous lug ready to bust his nose.
"Photo guy?" he grumbled, scratching his gut. "Don't need some random jackass ruining the vibe."
Mandy pouted, leaning in with those big doe eyes and a peek of cleavage. "Aw, but he's super good at snapping me! Pleeease? I'll be extra nice!"
She fluttered her lashes, and I swear Paul's brain melted into his pants. "Fine, whatever," he muttered, waving me off like I was a fly. "Just stay out of my way."
I smirked, tipping my glass. Step one nailed--thanks to Mandy's rack and a little quick thinking. This was gonna be a hell of a show.
Mandy Lewis
Okay, so this "event" was at this gorgeous villa off the resort, glass walls letting in the moonlight, palm trees swaying all sexy-like, total rich-bitch heaven! Paul was all grabbing hands ushering me in, and I let him. He was oblivious of course, but I could feel the steam coming out of Jake's ears.
"Oh my gosh, this place is so dreamy!" I giggled.
I sounded like a total airhead, but that's my whole deal, right? Underneath, I'm actually paying attention, and I notice things. The exits, the beefy security guys, the sneaky vibes rolling off these suits. I'm not just a pretty face with an amazing rack (and rear, and pretty much everything else). I'm the one running this circus, and tonight these guys are my monkeys.
The event itself was boring. I took some photos with some of the more adventurous men and women and got a lot of comments about my boobs. You might not think it, but in public settings, it's usually the women who make the comments. Especially if they've had a glass of Chardonnay or two. I was just talking shop with a middle-aged trophy wife, her sex appeal still being held together by what was obviously a fantastic plastic surgeon, when the crowd started to break up. The chubby guy from the bar, one of Paul's lackeys, came over and escorted me off to a side hall. I shot Jake a look and he nodded, placing down his drink and following behind us.
The hall was packed with RBS bigshots, sipping fancy drinks and yakking about boring stuff, but then Paul clapped his hands like some cheesy game-show host. "Time for the real party, folks!" he boomed, herding a smaller crew, including me and Jake, through a side door.
Inside they snatched our phones - rude much? We were ready for that, though. I had a little recorder tucked in my glittery clutch, and Jake's jacket had a button cam that was rolling like a champ.
We stepped into this lush room, all opulent with red cushions everywhere, lights low and sultry. The vibe was electric, like the orgy was just waiting to explode. I squealed, "Eeeek, this is crazy fun!" and grabbed Jake's arm, playing my part.
Paul spotted Andrea, Mark's wife, all dark hair and lost-in-space eyes, and yanked her over. I almost peed my pants. Sure, we hadn't seen Andrea in years, and the last time she met me I didn't look quite like I do now. I was almost sure she wouldn't recognize me, but you never know.
"Meet my VIP," he smirked at me, his hand sliding up the back of Andrea's skirt.
She barely blinked, just swayed there, obviously high. I checked her eyes for recognition, but she was totally zoned out. I felt bad for Mark and their kids, but we had a job to do.
I giggled, "Hi, sweetie! This party's wild, huh?" nudging Jake to get the shot.
Then Paul turned to me, his eyes all glassy and gross. "Hey, hot stuff, why don't you join us? Andrea could use a friend." He pawed at her, grinning like a creep.
I kept my bimbo smile on, even though my skin was crawling. "Oh my gosh, that sounds, like, so fun!" I chirped, then added quick, "But I'm totally parched. Let me grab us some drinks to get this party poppin'!" I winked and twirled away before he could argue.
Paul grunted, "Hurry back," his voice thick with booze.
I sashayed to the bar, hips swinging, and ordered three cocktails. The bartender barely looked at me, so I checked my clutch - yep, the vial Jake gave me was still there. I glanced at Jake, who was pretending to sip his drink near a plant, and whispered, "Get ready," as I passed him the glasses.
"Which one's Paul's?" I muttered.
He pointed to the one in my left hand, then slipped the clear, odorless drug into it while I blocked the view. It dissolved fast. "Showtime," he said, squeezing my arm.
I strutted back to Paul and Andrea. He was on a couch now, Andrea on his lap, her dress hiked up. "Drinks are here!" I sang, handing Paul his special cocktail. "Bottoms up, big guy!"
Paul grabbed it and chugged half, leering at me. Andrea took hers, sipping slow, her hands shaky. I set mine down and kicked things up a notch. "So, Paul, you wanted some fun?" I purred, sliding the spaghetti straps of my tight pink mini dress off my shoulders, letting the clingy fabric slip down to my waist. My massive fake boobs bounced free, no bra to hold them back, nipples stiff from the electric buzz in the air.