A Town Without Honor

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Honor and Duty

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I knew I'd have a busy day. I had business finances and paperwork to deal with. Preparations to make before heading home. Getting my head on straight to deal with BB and Mom, among others.

I'd been pretty lazy lately, going to bed well after midnight, waking up mid-morning, eating and drinking anything I wanted. For once I got up at a reasonable time and ate healthily.

Then it was off to the bank to initiate a massive transfer. Darren met me there, and we opened a new account for the business. The wheels had been set in open. We were moving ahead full bore. It felt good, if not a little reckless. Okay, a lot reckless.

After lunch, I headed back to the hotel for my daily call home. It only took a minute to throw all my plans into disarray.

Mrs. D was apparently waiting. The moment I logged in she was calling out my name.

"Honor? Honor are you there?"

"I'm here, Mrs. D. I'm only four minutes late."

"Thank God! You have to come home. You have to come home now!" she practically shrieked. She looked a mess, hair mussed, dark circles under her eyes. I could swear she'd been crying.

"Is it the kids? Did something happen to the Marie or Billy?" I asked.

She shook her head vehemently. "No the children are fine, at least for now. It's Beth."

I was surprised at home much that shocked and disturbed me. "What happened? Is she hurt?"

"She's gone, Honor. Beth is gone. I have no idea where. She left a note. I don't think she's coming back." She burst into tears.

Beth was gone? Leaving our kids? Then it hit me how much I'd depended on her to care for the children, while I dealt with my issues, practically abandoning them. I felt like shit, for a whole slew of reasons.

"What did the note say, Mrs. D? Please."

"N-n-not much," she said, breaking out a piece of paper. "Here, I'll read it to you.

"

Mom, I'm sorry, but I just can't do this. I can't do it without Honor, and he's not coming back. He's moved on, and I can't blame him. It's all my fault.

"Once I'm gone, everything will be better, I just know it. I'm an unfit wife and mother, and nothing I do is going to save his company. I can't be responsible for 200 people's welfare. With me out of the picture Honor can come back and fix everything.

"Please don't look for me. I don't want to be found. I'm sorry to do this to you. Tell Honor I'm sorry and that I'll love him forever. I love you and Dad, but I just can't handle it anymore. Take care of my babies.

"All my love, BB."

I was stunned.

"Honor? What are we going to do?"

"I'm coming home. I'll be there as fast as humanly possible, and then I'm going to find BB and drag her ass back home."

"Please hurry, Honor. Please. My baby is in trouble."

"I'll do my damnedest. Are the kids around?"

"Yes, do you want to talk to them?"

"Absolutely. Just for a few minutes," I said.

I tried to keep it together while I spoke with the kids. They seemed to be no worse for wear. Mrs. D had told them their mother was on travel, just like their Dad.

As soon as I broke off the call, I went into action.

I started with three phone calls. I called Darren and Ronnie first, letting them know I was leaving immediately. I didn't give them the details, just that I had an emergency at home and had to leave at once.

Then it was the hard call.

"Honor?"

"Hi, Janie. Can you talk?"

"Gimme a minute, and I'll call your right back."

She was true to her word. "What's so important to call me at work?" she asked. She sounded a little irritated.

"I'm sorry to bother you. I have to leave, like right now. Beth has run off and left the kids with her mother. I have to find out what's going on. I'll be gone a while to deal with the business issues and family stuff. If I can't find her, I don't know how long I'll be gone. The kids have to come first, and I've been derelict ever since her cheating. I've got to fix things. I've got to."

"I understand, Honor. Do what you have to. Anything I can do?"

She was taking it better than I thought. "I'm headed to the airport and catching the first flight out. I'll charter one if I have to. Could you have someone pick up my motorcycle at the airport? I'll let you know where it's parked and the key will be under the seat."

"I can do that. Just let me know when you get there safe, alright?"

"I will. I promise. I'll stay in contact."

"I love you, Honor. You know that right? I love you."

Did I love her? It was hard to say. I'd only loved one woman in my entire life, and that one since I was a kid. What I felt for Jane wasn't the same as I'd felt for Beth, before the whole cheating fiasco. Yet at the same time, it was different, deeper than I'd felt for any other woman, ever.

"Janie, in my whole life there's only been two women that have touched me. You and Beth. My life is a mess right now, but you are my anchor. I'll be back. I love you."

"But you still love Beth, don't you?"

That was a tough question. "I'll probably always love her. I've been hers since she was four. She's the mother of my children. But love isn't always enough. I'll be honest, I don't know what the hell's going to happen, but I sure as hell don't want to lose you."

"You won't, Honor. Go do what you have to and come back to me. Soon."

"As soon as I can."

* * *

It wasn't cheap, but I managed to get a couple of flights and a limo that had me back in Bedenton by ten that night. As the limo pulled in, I texted Janie that I had arrived safe and sound. It was almost midnight back in Newfoundland, so I was a little surprised that I got a response immediately.

"Thanks for letting me know. Be safe. Good luck. Good night."

I was almost bowled over by Mrs. D as soon as I walked in the door. I held her as she cried. I was surprised and a little irritated that my mother and sister were there as well.

"Find my baby, Honor. Please. Bring her home," Mrs. D sobbed.

"I'll do my best. I promise," I said.

When she pulled away, Mom approached me, but I stepped back. I wasn't ready to make nice with her. Not yet. Maybe not ever.

"Honor," she said. "How can we help?"

"I don't know yet. I take it the kids are asleep?"

"For a little over an hour now," Mrs. D answered. "They'll be excited to see you've come home."

"You are home, aren't you?" my sister asked.

I certainly didn't owe her and answer, but I figured it was what everyone was wondering. "For now. I'm not sure for how long. That's not my biggest concern. Finding BB is. Do we have any idea where she went?"

Her mother shook her head. "None. She left in the middle of the night. She didn't take much, from the looks of things. Her car was gone, and that letter was the only clue."

"Alright. There's not much we can do now, but first thing in the morning we'll start. I'll check accounts, charges, and get a private investigator on it. We'll find her." I had one backpack of gear and waved it. "I'm shot. I'm going to clean up and get some rest. Right now I don't want to talk about anything if you don't mind. Once I've gotten the ball rolling tomorrow, we'll see."

Mom and Sis looked disappointed, but they got the message. They hugged Mrs. D and forced the same on me. I didn't hug them back. No way.

I took a peek in on the kids who were slumbering away, blissfully unaware of what was going on. After that, I opted for a shower, dumped my dirty clothing in the wash, and decided to check on the family accounts. If she was using an ATM card, I might get a clue as to where she was.

Logging into the computer, I discovered my first clue. Not of where Beth had been, but why she left. She'd been on YouTube, and her latest video was our first gig. I don't know where she'd gotten the information, but her history was full of videos of my activities. The house party at Diane's where I played while Jane sang. Her little song and dance at the Sunday Dinner at Uncle Luke's. Even my drunken debut the first time we'd played on George Street.

I guess that's what happens when everyone has a video camera on their phone. I noticed two of them were posted my Ronnie's on again / off again girlfriend Rhonda, and Jeffery had posted another couple.

I watched the videos, and they were pretty damning. I could see why Beth had told her mother that I had moved on. It sure as hell looked like it. It certainly didn't seem like a guy in mourning over his marriage.

The bank accounts weren't any help. They did show a substantial withdrawal from the ATM machine. To the tune of six hundred dollars, twice. But that was in town and gave me no clue as to where she'd gone.

A check of our credit cards was no more help than the bank accounts. I ran out of ideas to look for, shut things down, and slept in my own bed for the first time in months.

* * *

I didn't get a chance to sleep in. Not by a long shot. I was awakened by a four-year-old terror jumping on me.

"Daddy's home! Daddy's home!" Marie chanted while using me for her personal trampoline. I guess that's what I get for buying her classic Dr. Seuss books. Hop on Pop had always been one of her favorites.

Billy was still sleeping in his crib, so I put little Marie on my shoulders and retrieved my baby boy. Mrs. D showed up in her robe a few minutes later. She looked as exhausted as I felt.

"You make coffee," she said, taking Billy out of my arms. "I'll take care of getting this one cleaned up and dressed."

"You're an angel," I said.

She gave me an odd look. "You wouldn't say that if you knew some of the nasty things I thought about you once Beth disappeared."

Of course, Beth's running was my fault. Everything is always my fault. I had hoped for better from Mrs. D.

"Did Dave ever come visit?" I asked.

She shook her head. "He's coming in at three. I've got to pick him up. I'll be leaving before two. Maybe if we get cracking, I'll have some good news for him."

Unfortunately, when Mr. and Mrs. D got home, the only good news I had for them was that I had two different investigation agencies working on things. Mom had shown up and was watching the kids. Me, I was doing my best financial forensics looking for any clue. Anything at all. The only thing I'd been able to come up with was a charge for gas headed west toward New York, only about ten miles out of town.

I'd completed a review of her clothing and toiletries. I also searched through our travel gear. She'd only packed one full-size suitcase and one travel case. I wasn't sure how much clothing she'd taken with her, but it didn't look like it was that much. A lot of her toiletries were missing.

I'd given Aunt Jean a call letting her know I was back in town and didn't need her to do any grocery shopping. I was staying in our old house for now. I did tell her why I was back, after swearing her to secrecy. I didn't need the whole town knowing that Beth was gone.

That proved useless since by mid-afternoon I was fielding call after call asking if I was back for good and offering help with finding BB. I'm not sure who blabbed, but it should have come as no surprise. As we'd found out earlier, it's nearly impossible to keep secrets in Bedenton.

Dad Daniels was a hard man, old fashioned. A lot like my father. He rarely showed much emotion. When he walked in the door, he stepped forward and gave me a big hug. When he pulled back, I saw something I never expected. Tears in his eyes.

"Are you going to find my daughter, Honor?" he asked, his voice cracking.

"If it's humanly possible, Dad, I'll do it. I've got the best people working on it. I'm going to ask you to trust me on this. BB's still my wife, the mother of my children, the love of my life for 30 years. I'm going to find her."

He stared at me for several long moments before nodding. "That's good. Thank you, son. Tell me what I can do."

Mrs. D had him by the arm, clinging to him. "What we can do."

* * *

For three solid days, all we did was try to hunt down leads, talk to our investigators, brainstorm where BB could have gone, and do our best to make life normal for the kids.

A lot of people stopped by asking about us, about Beth, about the business. For the most part, Mom did an admirable job of keeping them out of our way. For the most part.

One person I never expected to find at my door was Dale. Yes, that Dale. The bastard who'd been banging my wife.

He didn't look good, not good at all, and to be honest, that didn't bother me in the least. He'd lost weight, and had a black eye that discolored half of his face. I didn't want to talk to him, but Mom was insistent that I'd want to hear what he had to say.

Dale was standing on the porch, looking as nervous as shit. I stepped out and closed the door behind me. "I don't want you in my house."

He nodded. "I understand. I guess I'm not your favorite person right now."

"No shit, Sherlock. So what's so important?"

"Can we walk?" he asked.

"Sure." What the hell, right? I could always beat him to death with my bare hands, afterward.

It took a minute of walking through the property before he spoke. "Fred drugged her," he said.

Shit. "How?"

"He didn't roofie her or nothing. It wasn't like that. She'd been drinking, and he got her back to the house. You know Beth, she's a complete innocent."

"I know my wife."

"I don't think you know her as well as you thought. I'm just telling you what I saw and what I heard from Fred. She was upset, lonely because you were working so much and gone so often. Fred played on that. He was sneaky, slowly working his way with her. Did you know she was smoking pot?"

"BB? Never!"

Dale chuckled. "Like I said, I don't think you know her as well as you think. Fred acted like a friend, an understanding buddy. When you left town, he got her drunk, got her high, and slipped her some ecstasy. When she was all but passed out, he pulled a dirty trick. He told me that he was massaging her back when he started talking to her in your voice. You know how he can mimic you. The first time he got to her, she thought it was you. He laughed as he told me how she kept calling him by your name."

"Mother fucker," I growled.

"That's Fred. If Mom stayed still for ten minutes, he'd probably bang her. You always see the best in people, Honor. You project your own values on them. Fred is a scumbag. He's my brother, but he's not a good guy."

It was a lot to take in. But it didn't explain everything. "What you're saying makes sense, but how the hell did he get her a second time? She had to know by then."

"Oh, Fred is slick. He blamed it on the booze and smoke. Acted all guilty and shit. Apologized repeatedly. It took three days to get her drunk and high again, crying in her beer, wondering how she was going to tell you. A little coke, and a cocktail of ecstasy, GHB and god knows what else, had her helpless. He banged her all night and the next morning.

"She was never straight when he got to her. He had her where he wanted her, needing what he could supply her, what she wanted. He's a real bastard, and he got her hooked just so he could get in her pants."

That explained some things, but not everything. "How did you get involved?" I asked.

Dale shrugged. "I guess I'm not much better than my scumbag brother. When you went to China, that's when he told me what he'd been up to. Hell, man, Beth is the sexiest woman in town, hands down. When I had a chance, I jumped at it. By then, Fred had full control over Beth, between the drugs, and blackmailing her with exposure. She didn't have much choice. At that point she was taking the drugs willingly, just to deal with the guilt."

"That still leaves a lot unexplained," I said. "Holding hands in public, how I never noticed any drugs, all sorts of shit."

Dale stopped in his tracks. "Listen. Honor. I don't know everything, just what Fred told me and what I got involved in. I fucked up; I mean big time. I wish I could undo it, but I can't. Now Fred's gone, and I'm

persona non grata

around here. I can't get a job. Nobody will have anything to do with me. I've made enemies that I have to avoid now. I helped kill the golden goose, and I'm going to be paying for that for the rest of my life."

"If you're looking for sympathy from me, you're barking up the wrong tree, Dale. As is, I'm having a tough time not strangling you where you stand."

He nodded. "I get it. I do. There's no way to take it back, and no way to make it up to you. I just ... I'm leaving. I have no future here. Before I left, I wanted you to know, that's all. Beth screwed up, but it wasn't all her fault. If you could forgive her."

"Maybe someday. I appreciate you talking to me. Now I'd like it if you'd get the hell off my property. The next time I see you, it won't be pretty."

He nodded sadly and walked away half the man he used to be. "I'm sorry," was the last thing he said as he climbed into his old beater vehicle. It was a big step down from the previous one I'd blown up.

That was the last time I ever saw Dale. That was just fine by me.

I did manage to find a few minutes of privacy each day to talk to Jane and keep her up to date on my activities. I also spoke to Darren and realized I needed to find an engineer to send to him. I hated to postpone it, but I wasn't ready to deal with business issues. Not until I'd done all I could about Beth.

It was the morning of the fourth day that we caught our big break. I was getting my update from one of the investigators when it hit.

"Mr. Nolan, we may have a resource that could be of use. No guarantees of course, but I think it could be useful."

"Then why aren't we using it already?"

"It'll be expensive. Very. It's not strictly legal."

"Do it."

"We're talking a lot of money. My contact wants twenty grand."

"Just do it, already! I'll transfer you the money immediately. In the future don't hesitate to use any resource that will help. Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir. If this works, I may have results as early as this evening."

"Great work. I'll be waiting."

I didn't want to get anyone's hopes up and doubted I could hide my excitement from Beth's parents. I made my excuses and decided to do something new. Something that had been nagging me for awhile. I drove over to my new house.

I have to admit LuAnne was a miracle worker. The place was a showpiece. It looked like it should be in a magazine. It wasn't some frilly, modern statement. It had a manly feel to it that made me feel at home. I spent a good hour walking through the place, seeing all she'd managed. I ended up giving LuAnne a call.

"Honor Nolan!" she laughed. "I was wondering if I'd ever hear from you again. You could give a girl a complex."

"I find that hard to believe," I said. "You are amazing."

I heard her laugh. "I am, aren't I?"

"Not very humble, are you?"

"Just a little bit less than the guy who sticks his name on everything he does."

"Touché. I just wanted to tell you how happy I am, and how impressed I am with what you did. I also wanted to know if you could do one more little job for me."

"I'd love to," she said.

"Perfect. It's simple enough. I'd like to convert my office, the room I told you was off limits, into a music room. More of a studio. I play guitar, and I've taken up writing music. I'd like a place to do it. Can you handle that?"

"Can I bring in an expert?"

"Whatever you need," I said.

"Budget?"

"I have no idea what it will cost. I don't figure it will be cheap. I need electronics, sound proofing, and some instruments. A Martin HD-28 dreadnought would be nice, maybe."

"Enough. Email me any specifics, and I'll talk to my guy. I'll go for a rough budget before we do anything. Same credit card?"

"Yeah. Let me know if it runs over thirty grand, otherwise just do it."

She chuckled. "Did I ever mention I love working with you, Honor? You're the least finicky client I ever had."