We have had the conflict. Now it's time for the denouement. Our protagonist needs a handy god-from-the-machine to sort out his irreconcilable situation (to continue our pretentious classical allusions). Fortunately he just happens to have one in his pocket, which is one of the wonders of the internet age. Plenty of monkey sex in this one for those who think I am too sappy. I hope the four of you who like my stuff enjoy this. And as usual thank the rest of you for reading me.
~
When you have been a parent as long as I have, your kid waking up is like an alarm clock. And Billy was starting to stir. The sun was streaming through the windows. It would have been a beautiful day except for the events of the night before.
I had not had the happiest of dreams. But on this day the transition from sleeping to wakeful was the most unpleasant experience of my life. Reality hit me like an NFL linebacker with rabies. And the road ahead was paved with nothing but desolation and despair.
Billy was still slowly coming around. So before I got back to him I took a piss in the ensuite, brushed my hair and teeth and pulled on a t-shirt and jeans. I was ready to deal with things now.
Billy was looking up at me with his bright blue eyes. He said puzzled, "Where's Maddie?" His reminder of our loss triggered a momentary throbbing in my head that nearly stroked me out.
But I had to hide it. You can do those kind of super-tough things for your kid.
I blithely lied, "Oh, she was so happy to see her sisters that she wanted to spend the night with them. I know that you will want to do that with little Chelsea when she gets bigger.
"Now how about some breakfast. Milly can't wait to play with you."
He smiled his beautiful little-boy smile and said with absolute sincerity, "I LOVE aunt Milly."
I said, "She loves you too. She wants to take you to the University's museum today. They have ACTUAL dinosaur skeletons there. You can see them."
His eyes went wide and he said with hushed reverence "Really???"
I laughed with sheer love for my little nerd. My life will always have meaning as long as I have Billy.
I brushed his hair and dressed him in a pair of shorts and a polo shirt with an alligator on it. He slipped on his miniature topsiders. He fit in this new preppy universe a whole lot better than his daddy.
We went out into the hall. Maddie's door was closed. Mary was sitting in a chair outside our door reading a Kindle. She looked like she had been posted there. She was extremely nervous. I didn't blame her.
She must have been waiting for Billy and me to get up.
I gave her a warning look and said cheerily, "Oh here's Mary. She can't wait to take us to breakfast.
"Maddie will be along as soon as she wakes up. She had a lot of fun last night and I know she must be a lot sleepier than we are."
Mary caught the drift. She said, "Oh yes, Maddie had such a good time last night that she is exhausted. So she wanted to sleep for a little while longer."
I said, "I told Billy about Milly's plans to take him to see the dinosaurs."
Mary looked puzzled.
I said lightly but with meaning, "Don't you remember the thing we discussed last night? Milly told me that they have real dinosaur skeletons at the museum and that she wanted to take Billy away for the day to see them while Maddie and I talk about the fun she had last night."
Mary "got" it. She said with fake joviality, "Oh yes, how could I have forgotten THAT. Milly is downstairs at breakfast waiting for you. Why don't you two go down there? I was just going to wake Maddie up."
Billy said, "I thought she was sleeping with her sisters?"
That sent a jolt of electricity through me. He was way too perceptive for a 4 year old. This wouldn't be easy.
I said, "She did but her sisters woke up before she did. They didn't have as much fun as she had." I kept every bit of sarcasm out of my voice.
I grabbed him and said, "I feel a tickle attack coming on!" He squealed with delight and I walked down the stairs, embracing him in a deadly tickle hold, while he giggle ferociously.
Milly was waiting at the bottom of the stairs. She had a huge grin on her face but it didn't reach her eyes. Those were pools of abject misery.
I said continuing the fake jolly mood. "Here's Milly and she is going to take you to the museum for the day." Billy jumped out of my arms and ran to her.
He impulsively hugged her around the waist. She kissed him on top of his head. Then she bent down to talk to him and he kissed her on the cheek.
Billy announced, "I love Milly as much as I love Maddie."
Thank God he didn't see Milly's look of anguish, or the way her eyes began to mist.
Milly said brightly, "Let's get you two fed" and led us into the dining hall. It was not QUITE that baronial but it was close.
There was a buffet set up in chafing dishes on a side-table, in the same fashion as the classic complimentary hotel breakfast. I scooped out some scrambled eggs and a sausage for Billy. I had a yogurt. That was all I could stomach.
Billy was chattering away to Milly about what dinosaurs he hoped he would see. She was looking at him with sadness.
He picked up on it and said, "Why are you so sad Milly?" The shock wave hit me again. This was going to take some intricate maneuvering. He was way too smart.
I said as rationally as I could, "Aren't you going to be sad to leave Milly when we go home? Well she doesn't want you to go home either."
He said in an equally reasonable tone, like he was talking to a total idiot, "Well then, she should come with us."
We both laughed and Milly leaned over and kissed him on top of his head.
She said, "Unfortunately I live here but we will always be best friends, even if I am not with you."
The sense of loss in her voice was palpable.
He looked at her again and said in the sweetest voice, "I love you Milly." Milly started to tear up.
Mary came downstairs. She said to me, "Maddie's up and she wants to talk to you."
I said, "I will as soon as we get Billy on his way to see the dinosaurs. Please tell her to wait up there and I will be up in a minute."
Milly took the hint and said with considerable jolly energy, "Okay my junior paleontologist, let's get going. The dinosaurs haven't had breakfast yet and if we make them wait too long they might eat YOU."
Billy squealed and took her hand as they headed out the door. He started playfully swinging on her arm the way kids do then they are hanging onto an adult they trust.
Milly was laughing with real joy now.
She turned to me and the sadness returned to her eyes. She said, "Take your time but remember what I said."
I promised her that I would.
Milly and Billy exited stage left. I heard the garage door open. At that moment Mary and Maddie made their appearance, coming cautiously down the stairs.
Maddie was still walking unsteadily and it looked like she had a monster hangover.
She was wearing a simple tennis skirt and polo top with boat shoes and no socks. She was clearly terrified.
She was beautiful. Even after the night she had just experienced. She had put on a little bit of makeup, eyes and lip gloss. Her hair was carefully pulled back from her face in a ponytail. She wouldn't even look at me.
She walked silently over to the buffet and got some coffee, black.
She sat down opposite me still looking down.
Mary sat next to her. She had obviously filled Maddie in about what we had witnessed the night before.
The room was silent for a few heartbeats.
Finally Maddie raised her eyes to me. You could see the absolute desolation written in them.
I looked back at her sadly and said, "Maddie, I love you with all of my heart and there will never be another woman in my life. But there is no way I can trust you after what I saw and heard last night."
She wailed, "WHAT??!! NO!! YOU PROMISED!!"
I continued with, "Billy loves you. He considers you his mother. It will kill him when I go home without you. All I pray is that you have enough human compassion to cooperate with me to do whatever it takes to keep this from ruining him.
"As much as it is killing me I will work with you for his sake. I can't help that I am stupid but I will not let my gullibility affect my little boy.
"Fool me once, shame on me. But there is no going forward from this. I can't put Billy at risk again."
Maddie started to cry, "Noooooo." Then she put her head down on her crossed arms and sobbed with outright abandon. She was like a little child whose heart had been utterly broken.
She was so obviously hurting that I wanted to hold her and comfort her. After all, I loved her like my own life.
She raised her head and looked at me beseechingly. Tears and the mascara that she had put on were running down her faultless cheekbones.
She said in a voice dulled with wretchedness, "Mary told me what happened. I wish I could explain it. But I have no recollection. You have to believe me when I tell you that I simply don't remember anything.
"The last thing I clearly remember was you being dragged off to the library by my dad.
"Then Bitsy handed me a glass of champagne. I told her that I was not going to drink while I was pregnant.
"She scoffed at me and told me that one glass wouldn't hurt. My friends all joined in. They said that they just wanted to toast the happy couple.
"I took a couple of sips for appearances sake. The next thing I knew I was woozy and about to pass out. That was the last thing I recall.
"Then I woke up in bed this morning feeling like a truck had run over me.
"I know that somebody fucked me last night. Mary says it was Chad Smithson. That makes this even more dreadful.
"I am sure that they already told you that he date-raped me in college. It creeps me out to even be in the same room with him."
She said, "Bill, I love you and only you. I have no idea why I was with that man. You don't have any concept of how much I hated and feared him.
"If I was going to cheat on you he would be the last person on earth that I would do it with.
"The only explanation I can offer is that whatever I was given completely wiped out my memory and removed all of my inhibitions.
"What you saw was a pure animal reaction. It wasn't a conscious response. You and Billy mean everything to me.