A Total Lac of Respect

Paul Evans

**************

Looking out the window at my wife leaving makes me think it ended with a whimper not a bang. Once she finds the divorce papers in her Victoria's Secret bag, with the lingerie she bought not for me, maybe then it will go bang. Maybe she wasn't going to cheat on me on this work trip. It really doesn't matter because I'm divorcing her for the total disrespect she has shown me and our daughters. The last straw was blowing off our triplet's birthday yet again!

"Daddy, why are you looking so sad?"

That would be Belinda the emotional one of the triplets,

"Mommy probably won't ever be coming back, it makes me sad."

"Don't worry Dad Millie's mom said you will replace her easy-peasy and then hopefully we can have a new good mommy."

That would be Brooke the practical blunt one of the triplets,

"What would Millie's mom know about me and your mom? Have you girls been telling family secrets?"

"Come on Dad, get real, everyone at school that knows us knows that mom disrespects you and you don't deserve it. Millie's mom is divorced and when Ms. Francis was talking about respect in class a few weeks ago, Millie told us about her parent's divorce. We even tried to talk to Mom about the disrespect she showed us a few weeks ago but she wouldn't listen. She just disrespected us again treating us like two-year-olds. "

That would be Beatrix (Bea) the thinker of the triplets,

"Well, it sounds like you three have it all figured out. It's true I'm tired of the disrespect she's shown the four of us, but I still can be sad. You guys don't remember before Mom changed; those were good times. I would rather that we could go back to that but I'm afraid it's too late."

Then Brooke broke through my funk,

"Come on Dad let's change the locks, we saw the new ones in the garage and we like helping with your tools. Millie says that changing the locks is one of the first things you have to do when you are getting divorced."

Sometimes I underestimate my children, I guess I'm not the only one who does,

"Boy, this Millie is a real expert."

Off we went to change the locks and then they wanted to help pack up her stuff. Millie of course said that happens next after the locks. It was really weird filling garbage bags with Sandy's clothes with the girls. I knew I was fed up with Sandy but that the girls were this done with her too was something else again. I was hopeful over time that might change but for now, it just reconfirmed my decision. This had been coming for at least two years. The girl's ninth birthday accelerated the decline of our marriage so it really shouldn't be a surprise that they are all right with divorce.

We finished up in time for supper and since it was Sunday early to bed for the girls. Sandy should be arriving at the hotel any time now. She was staying there for her week of not-so-mandatory work training. No events were planned for tonight so she could do what she wanted. I figured it might involve her Victoria's Secret bag, so it was time to turn my phone off. That small act set off all the anger I had bottled up inside. I slammed my phone down hard on the table. She blew off her daughter's tenth birthday for some work training she could take six months from now! It just pisses me off to no end! Those girls don't deserve such bullshit behavior from their mom.

I went to my home office and picked up the letter I attached to the divorce petition. Of course, this copy was lacking my handwritten note that I added when I found the lingerie.

Sandy,

I went to put these divorce papers in your suitcase and found this nice bag of sexy lingerie. Just more disrespect heaped upon the mountain of disrespect you have already piled on me. I hope you enjoy your fling, probably Max I'm thinking, why not wreck his marriage too!

The lingerie had hurt, despite the fact that I was already committed to divorcing her. Regardless I looked at the letter I had written detailing the trail of disrespect that led me to file for divorce. It would go to her parents if they asked me why or if Sandy tried to blame me. It would go to my parents tonight before a phone call I had planned with them.

I now looked again at the letter I had typed.

I don't know what happened to us. If I think back it started once I was promoted 2 years ago. I don't understand why that made a difference but I'm sure it did. The why is the hard part to understand for me. We agreed when we found out you were going to have triplets that I would be the primary caregiver. My boss at Dynamic Engineering didn't mind me mostly working from home and I thought everything was going great. It seemed to me like it. For five years life was good. You worked long hours at that huge national law firm LPGN, but we still had fun, me and you and us and the girls. Then came my promotion to project manager. I could still work mostly at home, and you seemed so happy for me but then you took on even more work.

Maybe it was the thought of becoming a partner that drove the disrespect but that doesn't make sense. Maybe we were in a rut, maybe I wasn't trying hard enough. Regardless I think I tried to romance you when you had time but that fell flat didn't it? Date nights planned by me and forgotten by you. Then came the triplet's ninth birthday. You said you were going to be home early from work, why you had to work that Saturday in the first place is beyond me. Anyway, you didn't show up until they were in bed and then what did you say to me?

"They're young, they'll have lots of more birthdays. No big deal."

I could not believe you and I told you so. What did you say to me?

"Oh, quit overreacting, when did you become such a drama queen? We can do something together tomorrow."

But we didn't do anything together that day either, did we? You slept in and me and the girls went to church. When we came home you had your face buried in your laptop. Did you even notice that we left again? I'm not sure you did, we did bring supper home, and you stopped working long enough to eat with us.

Next came that charity event your firm sponsors every Labor Day. When we arrived, we joined your coworkers Alex and Matt and their wives Cheryl and Lacey at our assigned table. Then you needed to go to the bathroom and of course, the other ladies went with you. What was the first thing that Alex said to me, do you remember? You were still within hearing range and if not I told you after. It was,

"How's the little woman?"

Followed by more disrespect the whole night! Cheryl and Lacey entertained themselves. You, Alex, and Matt talked shop and where did that leave me? When I asked you to dance you said no but then later you danced with both Matt and Alex. Do you remember the fight we had on the way home? It seemed to cause a little bit of a change in your attitude, but it didn't last past Christmas.

In January, the sex dried up again and the disrespect reemerged even worse than before. You didn't want to talk about it, and you hardly spent any time with the four of us. Then came the end of school awards night In June, remember that?

The girls were all over you to attend and you said you would. Then of course you didn't show up. "Something came up at work." You told us the next day. The girls were crushed that you didn't see me win the "Best Parent" award. They were so proud of me, but you weren't were you? Nope, what did you say to us the next day when the girls brought it up?

"That's nice girls, but mommy had some really important work to do and couldn't come. Surely they handed out dozens of those awards and he'll probably get one again next year."

Then you went off to work, on another Saturday no less. That's when they stopped wanting to have anything to do with you, did you notice? By the way, they only give one of those awards out every year and it comes with a gift of dinner for two at "The Tower." I'm still trying to figure out who to invite to dinner, it won't be you.

I went to see my lawyer after that and started the divorce. She listened to my story and told me what I needed to do to be rid of you and get full custody of the girls. This state is all about the kid's welfare and it is a slam dunk that I will get them as I am the primary caregiver. If you object then the girls will get their say and they won't want to live with you. Don't worry though you will have access if you can find the time.

I was in the process of collecting details for the lawyer when I overheard a conversation you had with our daughters. I can't believe the woman I married said the things you did that day but it's true.

You were in the kitchen on Saturday, June 14th and the girls went to see you. I was checking something in my office on the computer and could hear you clearly. It was Belinda who asked you the question,

"Mommy you never do anything with us, could you come outside to the playhouse we would like your help."

I don't know what they wanted you to do but considering your attitude toward them I was surprised they asked, but what did you say?

"No Belinda I'm really busy right now, I'm sure your dad has nothing important to do other than give you guys some help."

More disrespect, then came Brooke's reply,

"Mommy, why do you treat Dad with so much disrespect? Our teacher told us that people should not be disrespectful to other people, especially ones they love."

Then you blew it with them again, without I'm sure even knowing it,

"What does your teacher know?"

I knew Bea would answer, and she did,

"She is a great teacher, and she knows lots! You would know that if you met her. You never came to our parent-teacher interviews or our other school events. But you didn't. So don't insult her too. You don't care about us all you care about is your stupid work."

"That's enough! You can't talk to me that way! I'm going to speak to this teacher of yours. Now run along and go find your Dad."

You blew them off like they were two years old not nine going on ten! I was so mad. The next week I was ready to have you served but my lawyer told me to have a sober second thought. I did just that and out of respect for what we once had. I gave it one more serious go at saving our marriage. Perhaps you remember the first two weeks of this July? I did just about everything I could think of to win back my wife. When nothing worked I tried the internet. I asked Google in case I missed something. I tried all of the things Google suggested and what did you say?

"What's with you Paul, are you feeling needy or something?"

Yes, I was feeling needy of a wife that loved me. Nothing was working and then came the day you announced you were missing their tenth birthday. You must have forgotten the promise you made last year to be there "for sure."

You should be reading this in your hotel room in New York. On the course, you require to be a partner that you could do six months from now. That would be January when it wouldn't matter if you were gone for a week. Message received loud and clear that we are not important to you. At home, I am changing the locks and packing up your things. Our finances were already separate so nothing should change there. Please don't fight the divorce, it's bad enough as it is without dragging it out. Clearly, you are over us so let us move on without you.

Paul

I put the letter down and went to get ready for bed. It was finally going to be done. The official serving would occur when she arrived at her course the next day. Maybe, she wouldn't use the lingerie tonight and it would be a surprise for her tomorrow? I didn't care either way and fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

*****************

Sandy Evans

*****************

Alex and I had a great flight to New York. We had both joined the firm at the same time as Matt and all became friends. I'm not sure when I started thinking of him as more than a friend, but it happened. My husband Paul just wasn't doing it for me anymore I guess. Alex and I were on track to become Partners at work and Paul just worked at his home office, content to be Mr. Mom. Alex and Matt sure liked to joke about that! I guess it has rubbed off on me, sometimes Paul says I don't respect him, but I think the opposite is true. Paul doesn't respect the very important work that I do at my job.

There was plenty of flirting on the plane, with a liberal sprinkling of sexual innuendos. I had not fully decided to sleep with Alex over this week, but I was very tempted. Who am I kidding? I deserve this for making Partner. Truthfully, it is all I've been thinking about outside of work these last few weeks. Paul is an incredible father but like Alex says it's hard to get excited about a guy who is the "little woman." Alex is going to be so surprised tonight when he sees the lingerie I bought for him. I'm sure some drinks will flow at dinner and then I'll be spending the night in his arms. It's going to be a waste of money that we booked two rooms, but we had to LPGN wouldn't approve of us hooking up.

After we checked in I went to go shower and change before dinner. Alex even gave me a kiss in the elevator that spoke volumes about what would happen later. Then I opened my suitcase and pulled out my Victoria's Secret bag. It sure seemed heavy for the wispy lace that it contained. That's when I found the petition for divorce from Paul.

It was like a switch was flipped and I was hit by this feeling that the bubble I was living in just burst. Did Paul know about Alex? He obviously could guess who the lingerie was for. Then I saw the letter that Paul had added to the divorce and learned why it was my marriage bubble had burst. Did those things really happen the way Paul wrote it? I had to admit it did.

Then I had this overwhelming feeling I could save my marriage. For some inane reason, I figured because I hadn't physically cheated on Paul I could fix things.

I quickly called Alex's room and told him I had a family emergency and had to go home. I fired a quick email to my boss telling him the same thing and asking if I could take the next course in six months instead. I offered to pay my own way next time. Then I took an Uber to the airport. While in the Uber I sent Paul a message. I didn't know if he would get it or read it, so I sent it by text and to his work email.

I'm on my way home, please can we discuss this? I really don't want a divorce despite my actions.

Sandy

There was no reply to either before I boarded the next flight home. It didn't exactly take me directly home, given the last-minute nature of my travel. It took me thirteen hours to get home. It originally only took me four to get to New York. Every time I exited one of the three flights it took to get home there still was no answer from Paul. No answer when I arrived back in my hometown either. I got in my car and raced home. It was Sunday so hopefully I would get there before they went to church. I made it, parked my car, and ran up the steps. The door was locked, and my key didn't work. It was weird for me to have to ring the doorbell but along with the key not working it hammered home my predicament.

Paul opened the door and stepped out.

"What are you doing here Sandy? You are supposed to be on your very important course in New York."

"I opened my suitcase and found your divorce petition and came right home, I want to make it right, can we go in."

"No, you are not coming in, the girls don't need to see you right now it would just confuse things. Nothing you can say will change my mind anyway. You need to find somewhere else to stay. We are going to church so I would like you to leave before they see you."

I was mortified, this all was real, and I was grasping trying to find some shred of hope to hang on to.

"Please can we talk, you and me? I'll go find a place and maybe tomorrow you could come to see me?"

He looked like he would rather eat a shit sandwich, but he agreed.

"Ok, I'll book a sitter for Tuesday night, you text me where you are."

Then he stepped back inside and closed the door in my face.

I got in my car and drove to the nearest motel. I was overtired and overwrought. When I stepped into my room I collapsed onto the bed weeping. All the emotion of the divorce paperwork, rejection at my (former) home, and the look on Paul's face came pouring out. At some point, I fell asleep and didn't wake up until noon on Monday.

I knew I had to go to work and explain. That was an epic disaster. My boss, one of the Senior Partners, was extremely displeased with me. In anger, he remarked that perhaps I wouldn't be going to the next course and that there were plenty of other suitable candidates to make Partner. "Much more suitable candidates" is what he actually said! I asked for the rest of the week off to sort out my emergency. His response floored me,

"Sure, we weren't expecting you around this week. You're not working on anything that important you can probably take next week too."

I thought to myself, great my marriage is looking like it's over, and my job thinks I'm unimportant. Luckily, I don't have a dog because it would certainly die about now!

I needed to make a plan for what to say to Paul. I went back to the motel texted Paul the address and started work. It would be my masterpiece briefing.

Paul arrived the next night right at 8 pm. I was dressed in a business-like skirt and top. I didn't have much choice as I only had the clothes I packed for my trip. Underneath I put on my new lingerie. Paul loved me in lingerie, I was sure he would love this outfit. It never dawned on me that he might not. I welcomed him in,

"Thanks for coming Paul please sit down. I read your letter, and I agree that I have not been the best wife for quite a while. I was hoping that there was some way I could convince you to give me another chance."

He looked so neutral; I couldn't read his expression. It killed me inside that he used to look at me with such love and devotion but now? Now he had on this face that said I had my work cut out for me.

"Listen Sandy too much disrespect for too long is hard to fix. To add insult to injury I don't even know if you were cheating on me and for how long. You are going to have to prove to me, and the girls, that you are serious. This is not going to happen overnight; this is going to be a long process. You can try and show us you're going to change for real, but I am not stopping the divorce."

At that point I couldn't think straight, I had this glimmer of hope, but it was almost blotted out by the divorce doom clouds. This was not going how I was hoping, and I knew I was in serious trouble. It was finally hitting home how much I had fucked up my marriage. I went off script, it had been a while since we had sex, so I thought "blow job." If I give him one all will be well.

Insane I know but my own lack of sex seemed to catch up to me at the same moment. My adrenaline was pumping to save my marriage. Add in female hormones gone crazy by the events of the last few days and I pretty much tore off his pants. Paul didn't know what hit him and his cock at least still liked me because it was harder than steal in my mouth in seconds. I think he was trying to stop me, but I just grabbed his hips and pulled him in tight as I worked his cock. He didn't last long blasting a huge load into my mouth. It had been a while for him too, I thought I might drown but I managed to swallow it all.

Now I was incredibly horny and wanted him inside me, so I tore off my skirt and blouse. He took one look at what I was wearing and scowled. His underwear and pants were pulled back on, and he was headed for the door.

"I can't believe you! This is exactly what I am talking about! You think so little of me you wear the lingerie you bought for someone else for me! Were you thinking of him when you sucked me off? Do you think I would now fill in for him and fuck you?! I thought I had seen every kind of disrespect out of you, but this tops it all."