Chapter One: A Pinch Of Infidelity.
I am Anne. I am married, and I let other men fuck me.
No, that's not true. I should be honest with you β I enjoy fucking men other than my husband. I enjoy it tremendously.
My husband doesn't know. And I hope he never will. But please don't get me wrong β I feel no guilt about what I do. I even think I am doing him a favor.
One day he will discover my infidelity, of course. Someone may see me. Someone will talk. I may slip. A detail may give me away.
I fear that day.
I fear it partly because it would hurt him. I love him too much to see him hurt and lose him. But let me remain honest, at least to myself β I mostly fear discovery because it would put an end to my adventures.
I'd have to choose, and I hate choosing.
I love my husband. I love how we make love. But I also very much love to fuck around. I can't live with the one and not have the other. It would render me incomplete. And highly frustrated. For him I would become impossible to live with. Assuming he'd still want me, of course.
Yes, you frown.
I can see how you need to dismiss this as totally immoral. You really feel you have to boo me, don't you? I understand. You have no alternative. You have to reassure the world that you at least are morally pure. I can see how you would want to dump your indignation on me.
If only to save yourself.
Don't worry, go ahead. I do understand you. In your position I might even do the same. But please, if only for a few minutes: jump over your shadow. Unplug your ears and listen.
Things aren't always as Sunday school taught you, you know. Maybe they ought to be. But they just aren't. There's always some small thing that prevents righteousness from happening.
It's called "reality."
***
As I said, my name is Anne. No further name is needed.
My husband's name is George. We met at college, eleven years ago. He was tall and blonde. The tall part is still true, the blonde is getting thinner. I fell for him the first moment we met. He needed more time. We weren't even dating exclusively for the first year.
I was. He wasn't. Isn't that ironic?
At a party into our second year he saw the light. And I guess after that he never felt the urge to retire into the shadows again.
The first time we had sex was right after that party. I was drinking, so was he. It was just enough to get us past embarrassment, but not nearly enough to hamper our performance.
I was no virgin to sex. But I discovered that I was a virgin to good sex. To be quite accurate, on the narrow bed in my shared apartment I had my first real orgasm with a man.
George was great. Correction β he is great. He has this body you want to crawl into for sheer comfort and safety. And his mind won't ever allow things to turn everyday-dull. I love his voice. His eyes. The hard muscles of his tight butt.
And his cock.
What I did not know then β but know now of course β is that he has an average-sized cock. What I also know now is that with it he can bring me pleasures many larger men can only dream of in their machoest fantasies.
Sneer if you have to. But being with other men a lot doesn't always have to diminish a wife's respect for her husband. It doesn't for me.
George's secret is patience.
Patience is the rarest commodity in lovemaking, you know. I might even say that it is the crucial difference between love and sex. Patience to put your lover's needs first. To train your own stamina so that your lover may enjoy all the pleasures there are to be found.
George loves me very much.
In fact, he worships me with his love., but he also shames me with it. For although my love for him is immense, there will always be the love I have for myself as well.
I guess by now you have to reach over to a new box of judgments. Let me help you. It is under the S for selfishness.
As I said, I'll be honest with you β if you're looking for a perfect person, look elsewhere.
***