Chapter One
*Prologue*
My name is Megan, and I have small breasts. My husband, Andy, says he likes them, but his eyeballs pop out whenever we pass a pair of double D's. Guys like to say things they don't mean.
I like to do things I shouldn't do.
I graduated nursing school at twenty-one and married Andy two months later. We met at a bar in October when I should have been studying for finals. I let him come home with me when he should have stayed with his fraternity brothers. I allowed him to fuck me when I should have made him wait. I fell in love when I should have played the field.
Now I'm thirty. I have a seven-year-old daughter named Samantha and a baby named Seth who was born this past Easter. I love my husband. I don't want to lose him. I don't want to leave him. I don't want to hurt him. But sometimes I need more than what he can give, and sometimes I reach out and take what I want. Sometimes things just happen. Sometimes I want them to happen.
Sometimes maybe I will things to happen - things like Dan, Andy's best friend from childhood.
Dan was a groomsman at our wedding. He was the third guy from the front, the one who winked at me when Andy was lifting my veil for a kiss. He was the guy I talked to during rehearsal dinner while Andy was making his rounds; the guy who cracked me up with his crazy antics as we practiced our ceremonial positions. He was the guy married to Susan, a beautiful blond. They were Ken and Barbie, and they never had kids. I never asked why, at least not at the wedding. Now they are history.
When I was pregnant, it was Dan who would come back to the kitchen with me when all the other guys were watching the game. He's the one who put the dishes on the top shelf that I couldn't reach, pulled sheets of cookies and sausage balls from the oven, insisted that I sit down and keep my legs elevated.
He was the one who helped me empty the dishwasher and do all the mundane chores of that culinary space, that maternal matrimonial domain. He was the one who leaned against the counter and smiled, patient and attentive.
"Don't you want to get back to the game with the boys?" I'd ask. He'd just shake his head affectionately.
"Are you all this help for Susan as well?" I'd inquire.
"Not hardly," he'd respond.
I would laugh. We would talk. It was all superficial, at least at first. But then, our discussions grew deeper and naughtier. He'd tell me things about Susan. I'd tell him things about Andy. We'd share things that only girlfriends should discuss... things like sexual satisfaction, desires and fantasies, experiences with old lovers, kinky inclinations.
Dan and I had our own little corner of the world, our secret happy place where the conversation tingled. We were safe in our quiet mischief. No harm intended.
The other guys barely noticed our chatter or absence. Andy, in particular, was completely oblivious.
Then, the phone call came from Susan with her own little secret. She'd been seeing someone - a man she knew from high school whom she had dated before Dan. He was a boy she had been forbidden to see by her parents; an outcast, a trouble maker. But she saw him anyway, even during the latter days of her engagement. Her parents had no idea and neither did Dan. I was sworn to secrecy; to know nothing, to say nothing.
From that day forward, every time I saw Dan and each time that we spoke, I could not escape the vision - Susan scurrying out her bedroom window on the night before her wedding. There were relatives scattered throughout the house, so she could never have otherwise exited through a door. She met up with Victor at the end of the block wearing a black leather teddy with thigh-high latex boots. She rode bitch on his Harley five miles to his pad and fucked him till the wee hours of morning.
"It was the best sex of my life," Susan said, "what with knowing the wedding was the very same day. It was just so naughty, so daring! And Vic was so fucking good!"
My stomach churned. Susan trusted me like a sister, so it seemed.
I was compelled to ask Susan why she would even marry Dan, given her desire for Vic. She insisted she loved Dan; that Vic wasn't marriage material. Besides, her parents would never have given their blessing to Vic regardless of her feelings.
Dan was different. He WAS marriage material; a proper man, a beautiful man, a provider. He was sweet, affectionate, a fashionable armpiece for social occasions.
Vic was just a FUCK. Still, Susan couldn't leave him alone. She couldn't go without it. He was wild, passionate, careless, and completely inappropriate. He was her polar opposite in every sense, a rebel and a rogue. Susan was the quintessential prom queen, a social darling, the apple of her father's eye.
And now, Susan was charging me with the duty of keeping her secret, the duty of keeping her husband occupied during her conjugal visits with Vic.
You see, Susan preferred that Vic visit at her home rather than driving over to his place. Apparently, he wasn't much of a housekeeper.
Susan liked clean sheets with springtime freshness as opposed to Victor's stale and smokey surroundings. Susan liked lots of things...things she said Dan couldn't provide. Those weren't the things that good husband's generally give to their wives like a beautiful home, security, and protection. They were the things that bad boys give to hot, skanky girls... like a fuck up their ass in the McDonald's parking lot, good weed, pure coke, rough sex with tight bondage.
Dan and Susan's house was tucked back in the woods just as Danny intended when he built it. The geographical location provided isolation. No nosey neighbors to pry on their business; an electronic alert at the gate accompanied by a long serpentine drive. There was nobody to hear Susan's screams and no one to notice Vic's motorcycle coming and going.
I'd get a text from Susan in the middle of a ballgame, something vague like "busy, busy, busy...are you all having fun?"
I'd respond with something equally benign, all the while knowing it was a signal to keep Dan at my house until Susan gave the green light for his return.
Keeping Dan busy would occasionally require innovation. Sometimes, in lieu of what I knew about Susan and my growing affection for Dan, I was much less innovative and more flirtatious.
Thus came the dirty conversations - porn videos on Danny's phone with Susan going down on his cock; our confessions about masturbating while thinking of each other; imagining we were fucking while making love to our respective spouses. Revelations that neither of us should have ever known or expressed. I soon realized I knew things about Dan I'd never even asked about Andy... intimate things that were immensely personal.
