A Slow Submission

It started slowly. At first it was just comments in the heat of passion, then it morphed into something more. My name is Paige and I've been married to my wonderful husband Tony for a little over eight years. In that time he has slowly changed my thoughts and feelings about sex. The change was slow and now that I look back on it it's obvious to me that it was deliberate as well. I went from penis to cock. From intercourse to fuck. It was part of his plan and I love him for it. I'll start at the beginning.

I met Tony on my thirtieth birthday, but it wasn't a romantic glance across a crowded room or anything close to that that drew my attention to him. In fact, it would have been a non-event for most people, but considering the circumstances surrounding my somewhat recently dissolved, decade long relationship it was far from a non-event for me. I was sitting alone on the patio of a local pub thumbing through a self help book that my mother had given me when a couple came and sat at the table behind me. Considering the fact that the book was of the "how to catch a man" variety it wasn't too hard for me to lose interest in it and try and listen in on the couple's hushed conversation.

"...and that's when I figured it out and looking back now I feel like such an idiot" she whispered through tears, obviously embarrassed by her poor judgement. "I don't understand men, no offense to you personally, but it's like guys are born with limited conscience and an unlimited amount of bullshit."

It was then that I first heard his voice and in his soft southern drawl he said the most intelligent thing that I've ever heard a man say. "Look, as a friend I'm going to tell you a secret." I craned my neck, anxiously awaiting what I was expecting to be the same song and dance that all men engaged in when one of their own was caught with their pants down in the wrong place, but instead he whispered a pearl of wisdom..."Men are scum."

I was shocked. Shocked to the point of whipping my head around to catch a glimpse of the most intelligent man I had ever encountered and when I did I saw him. He was average in every sense of the word, but the words that he spoke were profound. As they noticed me I tried to regain my composure and act as if I were looking for something or someone, but it didn't work. I was busted.

The lady sitting with him cut her eyes to me and said sarcastically, "Can I help you?"

I was flustered and couldn't think of anything to say so I just turned back to my table, his summation of the lesser gender banging in my ears. Was he trying to take advantage of her pain? Was this an angle? Did he want to be "rebound guy?" or did I just come face to face with the one man who really understood?

I was shaken out of my thoughts when his female companion slipped past my chair and made her way into the pub.

"Excuse me" he said. I turned and faced him and he continued, "Please don't repeat what I said, if it gets out I'll lose my 'man card'."

I suppressed a laugh, not wanting to give him the satisfaction. "Who would I tell and what would I say? That a man sees a woman who's looking for a shoulder to cry on and he's working every angle to get her in bed? I heard what you said...and it sounds like you're spreading around your supply of unlimited bullshit."

His eyes sparkled as he spoke, "You misjudge me, I have no intention of trying to get her in bed. I'm just trying to get her to understand that it has nothing to do with her, her actions, or lack of actions. The guy she was engaged to is a shithead." He thought for a moment and corrected himself, "I take that back. He's not a shithead, he's even a pretty nice guy, but he's still a guy and I've been in enough locker rooms to know that even the nicest guys have a bit of a disconnect when it comes to love and sex."

"Oh, and I suppose that you're different" I said. "This smells like more b.s. to me...and I've been in enough back seats to know that a guy will say anything to get what he wants. Happy hunting." Satisfied with myself I picked up my book and started to leave.

"Hi, I'm Tony" he said, holding his hand towards me. Just as I was about to deliver my parting shot he looked over my shoulder and said, "and this is my sister Beth."

I turned and saw his table mate returning from her trip inside. If someone could have snapped a picture of me at that moment there's no doubt that I would have looked as red as a cherry. I held my hand out to Beth, "I'm Paige, hi."

She walked past me without a glance and said, "Sorry Tony, but I need to get back home and let Pepper out before she destroys the house again."

"OK sis, I think I'm going to stay and grab dinner here. Call me if you need me, ok?"

After a quick hug, she was gone and I was left trying to remove my foot from my mouth. "I'm so sorry..."

"It's ok, really. I feel kind of foolish that you even heard that. And I'm sorry that she blew you off like that, she's really a nice person...just not after she catches her fiance in her bed with another woman."

"Oh that's terrible. I know how she feels. Let's start over". I held out my hand, "Hi I'm Paige."

He reached out and took my hand in his, not in the condescending way that some men shake a woman's hand, but in a firm recognition that I too am a person and I that I won't break from this social nicety. "I'm Tony, can I buy you a beer?"

We spent the next three hours lingering over beer, then coffee as we talked about our lives in a way that's usually reserved for only the closest of friends. I told him about my boyfriend of the last ten years and he told me about his marriage that had recently come to an end. Actually, our relationships had followed an eerily similar path from magical to comfortable, then to boring and then the short jump to simply over. It was one of those conversations that you wish could last forever, wrapped around you like a soft blanket. We talked about family, vacations, colleges, childhood memories and healing. In short it was a perfect evening that started out with a self-help book and ended with a renewed sense of hope. Of course any perfect evening ends with a kiss, a perfect kiss. And that's what it was.

After walking me home through the soft cover of the dark we lingered on my doorstep. All of the first kisses up to this point in my life had been awkward attempts at romance from boys trying to become men. In fact, the most recent first kiss before that perfect night had been over ten years before and there was nothing memorable about it. My kiss with Tony was everything that I dreamed a kiss could be and for the first time I felt as if I had kissed as a woman. Every nerve in my body tingled, it was right and beautiful and beyond my wildest dreams. I actually felt myself moisten as his tongue lightly teased my lips.

The next few weeks were spent in constant state of bliss as we spent our days trying to concentrate on our jobs and our nights talking, in person and on the phone, until the night turned to day again. It was a whirlwind romance of two people who had long ago passed the age of consent and who both knew what they wanted, even if neither of us knew it really existed.

During these weeks there were lots of "firsts", our first dance, our first family meetings and our first time sharing a bed. The first dance was memorable for the simple comedy of it all. The first family meetings were celebrations of happiness as both of our families could see our emerging love. Our first time sharing a bed was memorable because for the first time in my life I had an orgasm.

How can you explain what vanilla ice cream tastes like to someone who's never tasted it? Well, that's how it felt when I read articles about the "female orgasm" in Cosmo or the like. I just assumed that I had had them, but it just wasn't as enjoyable for me as it was for other people. I couldn't have been more wrong. The way Tony touched me that first night was beyond explanation, his fingers danced across my body creating perfect circle of love and lust, a feeling that I knew I had to capture for a lifetime.

I was laying face down on the bed and Tony was softly rubbing my back. As his tempo slowed I felt his lips softly pulling at the back of my neck sending tiny electric shocks through my body. As he continued to tease my neck I could feel his penis stiffen against me. I stretched one hand behind my neck and let my fingers run through his hair as my other hand drifted back to the growing erection straining against his blue jeans. Tony then lifted me and gently turned me over while finding my lips with his mouth, increasing my passion with gentle bites. I was on fire, I could feel my nipples struggling against my bra. I could feel my moisture building and I knew that if I looked down I would see that the panties and jeans I wore did nothing to contain it. For the first time in my life I was acutely aware of my scent and it turned me one even more.

In my last relationship, the only sexual relationship I had ever known, our nights of sex stared with a negotiation, then me sucking him to arousal under the covers, then him climbing on top of me, then both of us rolling over and going to sleep. It was the only "sex" I knew and when I heard girlfriends talk about how much they enjoyed it I was confused. How could they have enjoyed it so? Why wasn't I? I wondered if it could it be possible that my handsome, athletic, popular boyfriend wasn't as good as the men in their lives. I didn't think so.

But now, here I was with my new boyfriend, my completely average looking boyfriend of just five weeks, both of us fully clothed and I felt as if I was going to explode. The feeling just intensified as he slowly undressed me and spent nearly an hour teasing my nipples and my thighs with his fingers and later his tongue. Here I was, fully exposed to this man and I wanted nothing more than for him to see me, to please me. I tried to return the pleasure several times as I reached for the zipper of his jeans but he would push my hand away. After one last attempt he pulled my hand into his, kissed it and whispered to me, "this is about you."

Tony then slowly, purposefully dragged his tongue across my lips and let it trail down my neck, across my flat stomach and down my left thigh. Only this time instead of teasing me he plunged his tongue into me, drinking from me. And then it happened. Fireworks. Magic. An explosion. His tongue had gone higher and ever so softly had flicked across my clit. It was fucking incredible. I screamed. I passed out. I woke up in his arms. I was in love.

I knew that soon this average man, who was anything but average, would be the second man that I would have sex with. I knew he would be my husband forever. What I didn't know was that I would have sex with many others. If you had told me that as I laid in the afterglow of my first orgasm I would have told you that you were insane. I would have been wrong.

To be continued...