A Simple Conversation 03: Gaynor

This one is only a shorty, 960 words. No sex, sorry, and it is mostly dialogue.

My thanks to CTC once again for the ideas and edit.

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THE SCENE: John Brown is sitting in a bar, having a quiet Friday night beer. His newly ex-wife, Gaynor, enters, and after looking around hurries over.

"Thanks for agreeing to see me, John."

John raises his glass to his lips and takes a slug. A slight nod being his only acknowledgement that Gaynor had spoken. The barman did his duty and soon Gaynor had a gin and tonic in front of her. John raised his glass to her.

"Here's to a happy divorce. Six-and-a-half-years; January 2013 to 3.12p.m. today; cheers."

He smiles as he downs the rest of his drink. Gaynor looks stricken by his smile. Then, in a soft voice, "I never wanted the divorce. You know that, don't you?"

"You could have fooled me. Sicking that attack dog lawyer on me like you did. Forcing me out of the house. Getting the judge to award it to you; maximum alimony; forcing me to pay child support for the baby. Yep, all signs of a woman who wanted to avoid a divorce."

"I told you, John, I got a lawyer to do all that to show you how expensive it would be to divorce me. I never intended to make you a pauper. I hear you had to sell your truck to pay for a lawyer of your own."

"Even better than that, Gay. I was fired today."

"What? Why?"

"Well, the practice management thought it wouldn't look good if one of its marriage guidance counsellors had just gone through a rather messy divorce."

"I'm so sorry, John, I know you loved that job, but, like I say, I never wanted the divorce."

"Then, just idle curiosity, why didn't you call your attack dog off?"

"I couldn't. He was doing it on contingency. By the time I told him to stop, he'd already chalked up a large bill. He demanded I settle it or keep going with the case. I didn't have that amount of cash, so I had no choice. I asked Peter to help me out financially, but he said he was a bit strapped at the time."

"Ah, talking of your lover, Peter; you certainly moved him into my house and my bed quickly enough after you had me evicted."

"Don't you see, John? I had to. I wasn't working, I have no qualifications, I was pregnant and emotional. He agreed to look after me, that's all."

"Thanks for reminding me that you had the cunt's baby, Gay. I cannot believe I found out you had a lover by you announcing you were pregnant, despite me being sterile. Then you have the temerity to ask me to raise the prick's kid for him."

"I've apologised for that a thousand times, John. Can we just let it go and part as friends?"

"Unlikely, Gay. Not when your attack dog got the court to lumber me with eighteen years of fucking child support for a bastard that isn't even mine."

"I can't tell you how sorry I am for how it all turned out, John."

"Do you know the runt turned up at my regular bar last Friday, pissed as a nit, and bragged to all my friends how he'd been fucking you for six months before I found out? How he'd given you a child that I couldn't, and how I was going to be paying to raise his kid while he fucked you in my bed. Then the fucker had me arrested when I broke his nose.

"No, Gay. I don't think we'll ever be friends. In fact, I'm so sure, I think I'll ask you to fuck off right now."

Gaynor bowed to the inevitable and got up to leave.

"I'm sorry for everything, John. I never meant for any of this to happen. Peter is quite well off and you're obviously broke, so I'll pay your tab on the way out."

"No, my treat, Gay, I insist. By now your superstar stud boyfriend will have been served with my suit for four and a half million. That's what my lawyer says he's worth right now and a little more. That's the lump sum for three years of alimony, eighteen years of child support, and loss of earnings from my job. My lawyer says it's a slam dunk. The stupid shit shouldn't have admitted what he'd done in front of all those witnesses. By the way, I told my lawyer I was seeing you tonight, so he gave me this court order for a DNA sample of your sprog. Lover-boy should be getting his around now as well.

"And, just so you know, once I told my mates at my old bar the whole story, they all went to the cops today and told them the little shit had bribed them to say I'd hit him unprovoked and give statements that he hit me first. The conviction of attempting to pervert the course of justice should fuck his career as a lawyer.

"Now, as I said, Gaynor, fuck off and have a miserable life."

John downed his drink and walked out, leaving a devastated ex-wife wondering what the hell just happened.

THE END

N.B. I apologise for all the Dave fans, but Dave does not resort to lawyers to solve his problems. He believes in more direct action, usually a mixture of cellulose and nitro cellulose made from a hickory or walnut tree.

Now lighten the fuck up.

Got caught having a piss in the local swimming pool today.

The lifeguard shouted at me so loud I nearly fell in.