This is a true and accurate story of my longtime friend Babs and myself. This occurred in the early 2000's The names and locations have been changed to protect anonymity.
Barb and Anthony had been friends since childhood. They dated in their teens and married at twenty. They were head over heels in love. Perfect couple, right? Read on.....
They were each other's first and only lovers. Barb was short and medium build, not busty, and very cute. Anthony was six feet nine and rather thin when they met. Anthony, sadly, had what the medical profession calls a micro-penis. Fully erect, he was barely an inch or two long. (a lot depends on weight.) Mother Nature can be such a vindictive cunt.
Not having had any previous lovers or experience with boys, Barb had no real idea what a normal (average) penis was. Anthony used to please her orally and with his fingers. Barb also had a pocket rocket and a three-inch vibrator. For most of her life, she knew nothing of the art or pleasantries of sex. He got her off and for the most part, she was happy.
Fast fwd a few years...Barb and Anthony are forty years old. Anthony had a sedentary job, internet investing, and an equally sedentary lifestyle. He gained weight very quickly and at forty-one years old, weighed almost 445 lbs. His belly hung down to his knees. I don't think he could even reach his penis because of the panis(hanging belly). He had a very difficult time pleasing her orally because of his breathing difficulty. She was hurting and in desperate need of release, but she never nagged him about it.
As with anyone who has been denied sex, she became increasingly irritable.
I was now divorced and wasn't getting any either.
Anthony invited me out for drinks one day after work. We met at a local bar and talked about lots of nothing. After he'd consumed enough tequila, he got very serious and the following conversion ensued.
Anthony said, "Listen, I have to speak at multiple seminars over the next two years, I'll be away in Chicago or Las Vegas for long weekends. I'd really appreciate it if you'd go to my house and take care of Babbs while I'm away.."
I could do that, "Sure Anthony, I'll call her to check on her over the weekends."
Shaking his head, "No dude, I want you to go there and take care of her. Do you understand what I mean?"
Dummy that I was, I had no clue as to what he was asking me to do. I said, "I'm lost here, Anthony. Speak English and tell me what you need me to do at your house."
Anthony was slightly upset, he took a deep breath and sighed. "You know my problems with weight and my...ummm...tiny dick.... I want you to go to my house and fuck my wife's brains out! I can't please her anymore and I don't want her to miss out on anything. I'm asking you to do this because I know I can trust you to be a gentleman and I know you're incapable of hurting her. Also, she loves you and I know she trusts you."
You could have knocked me over with a feather! My eyes agog, "You.....can't be serious."
Nodding, " Dead serious, I want her to be happy, I want her to feel all the things a woman should feel. I don't want to lose her. She only knows my pathetic little dick. She needs you."
My head was spinning. Was it the alcohol or was it his request making me feel weird? I'd only had one beer... so you figure it out.
I asked him, "How does Barb feel about this?"
Again, shaking his head, "I haven't told her yet, I was waiting to see what you'd say. It has to be you. I don't trust anyone other than you. Not even my younger brother."
I love Barb, but could I handle this? "This is some pretty serious shit dude? Are you certain you're gonna be ok with this?"
Another big deep sigh and a nod, "I have to be. If my wife is happy, I'll be ok. Will you please do this for us? It'll help you too. You haven't had any in two years either, right?"
He had me there, "Yeah, my well ran dry a while ago."
"I have to think about this though....I can't make a snap decision on something this serious."
He brightened considerably and shook my hand, "That's all I can ask. You just proved your quality by the way you answered. Please let me know soon though, as I have to leave in two weeks. By the way, if you agree and do this, I really don't want details from either of you, no juicy tidbits. Just do your best to please her. OK?....Good."
I drove home in a mental fog. I don't even remember the ride or parking the car. I thought about everything he had said and realized that this guy loved her more than most men could love their significant other. I never had a relationship like that. Far from it. She was lucky to be so loved.
As strange as his request was, everything he said made sense. If they needed this so badly, I wouldn't be able to turn them down. Don't worry, I thought of myself too. I'm gonna get some boinking out of this as well.
I called him and told him that I would be happy to help them. Now he just had to convince her.
It took three days of endless conversations with her to get her to capitulate. She was already on birth control pills for hormonal problems, so that worry was off the table.
I told him that I would have a complete std blood test done so that she was sure of being safe. He had her do the same. Not necessary, but as a show of good faith.
The next day, Barb and I met at the same bar to discuss the big event. For the first time, I was at a loss for words. I felt like a shy child in a new school. So did she. One of us had to move the first chess piece.
I told her, "Look at us, best friends and we can't talk to each other. Listen, we're both understandably uncomfortable with this and we won't get anywhere if neither of us can decide what to do. How about we just get together on Friday night? We'll have some wine and watch tv for a bit and let things progress without expectations or pressure."
She started to relax, and I saw her shoulders droop as the tension left her.
She said, " I don't want to rush into this and we both get hurt or end up hating each other."
I was happy with that. "Anthony is leaving on Friday morning, I'll come over that night. I'll bring dinner and wine, I think we'll be fine."
Friday morning came and I was shaking like a leaf. I was a teenage virgin going on his first date. Calm down and think of her and how to make her relax and enjoy this. I dug around in my closet and found a Kimono that my father had brought home from Japan after WW2, 1947. It had been professionally cleaned and sealed in a special plastic wrapper in the mid-'70s. It was made to fit a small woman. Babs was a small woman. The kimono was silk and lined with satin. It depicted cherry trees and was handmade. I would bring this for her to wear so she wouldn't feel strange getting undressed in front of me. She would love it. On the way to her house, I picked up Italian food, pastries, and wine.
I arrived at her house at six pm. She was as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.
"Come on Babbs, nice light meal and we'll get drunk on this wine"
She looked skeptical, "Screw the wine, we're gonna do lemon drops (vodka with lemon wedges dipped in sugar...chased with a Corona[beer, not the virus]) Vodka makes me very horny."
I smiled, and bowed, "Vodka it is milady! I love lemon drops."
We had a nice relaxing dinner of Angel hair pasta Aglio e' olio with sauteed shrimp. We chatted about radiation physics. (We're both radiation Physicists.)
I suggested that we light the fireplace and sit on a beach towel to have our lemon drops. Trรจs Romantique. I gave her the gift box containing the kimono and told her to go into her room and come back wearing only the kimono. With shaking hands, she accepted the box from me and retired to her room. I snuck off to the kitchen and took a Viagra and two Advil. A few minutes later, a beautiful shy barefoot lady appeared in the living room wearing a kimono. WOW! I was dizzy from how incredible she looked.