You ever have one of those days when nothing goes right?
We were losing. My wife, Anne, stood by my side. I could feel her hand tighten on my shoulder as our fortunes dwindled with each roll of the dice. Unless that bitch, Lady Luck, provided a miracle we were doomed. It would not be long now.
We were one of six couples playing in the annual Risk board game charity tournament. The couples were selected for their physical attractiveness and their willingness to tempt fate for possible financial reward. Each of the three winning couples would split between $80,000 and $100,000 with the Charity that sponsored the tournament. For that much money, many would consider the reward worth quite a risk. Anne and I certainly did.
As for the three losing couples, their fate was the same as in ancient history when a conqueror overwhelmed a weaker neighbor. The losing couple would be immediately plundered, pillaged, and publically humiliated by a winning couple. The losers would have to pay a hefty ransom to eventually escape their from their ruined status. The broken losers provided manna for the winners and the Charity and titillating amusement for the crowd.
Oh well, nothing ventured; nothing gained. The six couples were locked in a desperate contest trying to be sure not to be among the three losers.
There were about three hundred by-invitation-only spectators who had paid the Charity $200 each to attend the gala spectacle. They were there to enjoy watching the fate of the losers and not really to observe a board game. The game simply provided the drama leading up to the fate meted out to each losing couple.
The crowd spent most of its time at the bar and at the caterer's venue during the actual game-play. As the afternoon wore on and more liquor was consumed, the crowd became rowdier. They would have been right at home at a Roman arena watching prisoners of a conquering Roman army being spitted or fed to wild beasts.
The game was played on a stage with tiers of plush seats providing a good view of the action. The players clustered around the game board at center stage. Cameras projected the game board on a large screen for all to watch. Microphones captured all the audio.
The pretend battles raged across the board as each couple strove for survival and destruction of their neighbors. Anne and I were off to a good start in the game and had a solid position. We were feeling optimistic we would make it to the winner's circle. Lady luck was riding with us.
Fairly quickly, the couple that composed the green team wiped out the yellow team and secured a potentially dominant overall position.
The first victims were at hand. There would be an intermission while the yellow-team couple met their fate at the hands of the victorious green-team couple. The other four couples departed the stage and were escorted to a waiting room downstairs with an outdoor patio and garden. A waitress from the bar got drinks for all of us in the waiting room. Gales of laughter, cheers, and applause roared from upstairs as the fate of the yellow team couple amused the crowd. The yellow team must be catching hell up there judging from the crowd noise
Anne and I sipped our drinks and chatted with the other three couples making nervous small talk. After a spell, we wandered out in the garden. It was a pleasant Saturday afternoon and the springtime flowers were in bloom. Bees busily buzzed from flower to flower, and a flowery perfume wafted over us as we walked and talked.
Alone now, we could review the status of the game as we debated strategy. Overall things looked pretty good. As it stood now, we were probably somewhat weaker than the green team but probably stronger than the other three. We were smug about finishing in one of the top three positions.
After a little over an hour we were called back upstairs to continue the game. The green couple was flying high. They had enjoyed extracting their pound of flesh from the losing yellow couple who had now disappeared. The greens had just pocketed $50,000 as had the Charity. They now had the strongest position of the remaining players and seemed fated to be among the sure winners. Victory, wealth, and deadent pleasures were at their fingertips.
Treachery! Oh, "perfidious Albion!" We have been deceived.
The three couples that had been downstairs with us turned on the green couple en mass. They had formed a secret cabal behind our backs while we strolled in the garden during the intermission. The cabal set out to destroy the strongest player, the greens, and then would no doubt turn on Anne and me. The members of the secret cabal would be the surviving three tournament winners if something didn't change.
Green went down in defeat quickly with the Red couple administering the coup de grace. The green couple's wife wept hysterically at her coming fate, and her husband looked like a deer caught in the headlights of a tractor trailer. All they had won from yellow would now be forfeit to red who would share it with the cabal.
Alas, "what is past is but prologue to the future."
We returned downstairs leaving the green couple to suffer the same fate they had joyously meted out to yellow shortly before. The crowd loved the turn of events. The noise was deafening as yellow abused and humiliated the green couple for the crowd's entertainment.
The lengthy second intermission was terrifying. Anne and I could feel the sword of Damocles hovering over our heads.
While the cabal was busy destroying the couple playing green, Anne and I had strengthened and expanded our position. But facing three enemies, the strategic situation was ultimately hopeless. We tried to bribe the two couples of the cabal that were downstairs with us to switch to our side. I even offered them the full use of my wife. They just smiled and shook their heads no as they gazed at us like we were prey. We settled for two strong drinks as we contemplated our suddenly bleak position.
The second intermission was over.
"O fortune, fortune! All men call thee fickle." The fates had abandoned us.
The audience recognized Anne and I were now carrion for the victors. We would be the next victims. The crowd stomped and jeered with growing excitement as our enemies circled like vultures, ripping one country after another from our beleagured armies.
We struggled valiantly, but against three it was hopeless. Tom and Betty, playing the blue pieces, crushed our last holdout armies and took charge of our fate. We were the last losing couple and our fate would be the finale on center stage.
The game table and chairs were quickly moved off stage, and the barbaric games began. Cameras projected closeups of the action on large screens and microphones were arranged to catch the slightest gasp of pain or dismay. The Charity wanted to ensure the paying audience did not miss any of the titillating show that we were about to provide. DVDs of it all would be available for purchase from the Charity afterwards.
Tom and Betty played last year and lost and were back this year to recoup their losses. They knew the ropes of the upcoming entertainment venue well, very well indeed.
The plundering began as I handed over the certified cashiers check for $20,000 required from each losing couple. The check, like all payments associated with the tournament was made out to the Charity so, of course, it was tax deductible. Tom and Betty would ultimately get half of our check, and the other half would go to the Charity. Tom waved the check over his head in triumph to the cheers of the crowd.
Next began the public humiliation of the losers by the winners. Tom teasingly stripped my wife while Betty did the same to me in front of the whistling and cheering audience. Anne loves to wear skimpy bikinis when we visit beaches where we do not know anyone, That always made me wonder if my wife was a closet exhibitionist but was just too shy to let that side of her come out around friends and family. Well, she was certainly out there in the public view today. We were paraded around the stage and up and down the aisles for all to gawk at our nakedness and jeer.
It was now time to scourge the husband for the crowd's amusement. Betty addressed me, "John, turn your backside to the audience, bend over with your hands on your knees, and look at your wife."
My wife, Anne, made eye contact and smiled trying to encourage me. Tom made her stand with her hands at her sides, completely exposed in her nakedness to the heated gaze of the audience.
Betty twirled an oval black leather paddle to catch my attention and let my eyes dwell on its menacing appearance. The grip of the paddle looked smooth and worn.
Five excited young women trooped over single file and stood in a line by my wife, all of them smiling expectantly at me. The women had won the lottery drawing to publically spank me on stage.
Betty handed the paddle to the first woman in line, a petite little blond. She whooped and happily skipped around behind me giggling with excitement. The first blow made me gasp. Who knew a little thing like that could wield such a vicious paddle. Encouraged by shouts and cheers from the audience, the devilish little blonde wound up and put her second blow on exactly the same place as before, only harder. I grunted in pain.
The remaining women took their turns of two whacks each. Wildly encouraged and cheered on by the audience, the women enthusiastically thrashed my bare bottom without mercy. They were all giggling and laughing so hard, it was a wonder they didn't pee in their pants.
As the five women danced off stage to the cheers of the audience, I was bent over ignoring everything but my burning butt. Anne gave me a thoughtful look. Then she glanced at Betty and nodded. I missed the significance of both the look and the nod.