A Perilous Journey

Anita sat in her favorite chair in the family room. It was hardly a family room anymore. The kids were in college and while she and Paul lived in the same house they were hardly ever together anymore. This saddened her and she took part of the blame although there was plenty to go around in her opinion. She was not sure how they got to this point. She loved Paul but something was just missing. Maybe it was a midlife crisis but she did not think so. Something she needed just was not there anymore. She was not sure but she had an idea that Paul felt the same way.

As she sat deep in thought she saw the lights from Paul's car pan across the window as he pulled into the driveway. She was not sure if she was ready for this but they needed to talk. She had no answers and was not even sure what the questions were but they needed to talk. The front door opened and Paul came in placing his keys on the table in the foyer. He turned and saw her sitting and could tell this was it.

Walking into the room he leaned on the doorframe and said, "Is it time?"

"I think so," she said. "I am not sure where to begin or where it will lead but I do think it is time for a talk."

With an effort Paul straightened and walked into the room choosing a chair across from her and sitting down. "Before we begin I just want to say it is a shame that it comes to this. I don't think we are unique. We have been happy for so many years sharing the struggle of building careers and raising kids. Now that there is no struggle, nothing for us to band together and fight through it just seems something is missing. I know you feel it as much as I do. The funny thing is I have no idea what "it" is. I hope we can figure that out together wherever it leads us. I don't want finger pointing or accusations. It is what it is and I am sure we have both made mistakes. Anita, I still love you and just want to make things better and grow old together."

Anita was crying softly as he talked. He was right and she still loved him but something was out of sync. "I love you to Paul and I am afraid I have no more answers than you do. I have been struggling to figure it out. I just do not feel alive, no excitement. We live in the same house but never really spend time with each other. Everything is just a routine and a vacation once or twice a year is not going to fix it."

"Maybe I could look for a new job," Paul ventured? "Move somewhere new?"

"Maybe, but I think the problem is us. Not location or occupation. We have grown too accustomed to each other. We know what the other is going to say or do before it happens. Neither of us really have a lot of friends. Everything has been centered around the kids and work and there was never a need. I don't think a separation is what we need but I do think we both need to go out and find some friends. People we can be around that stimulate us with new thoughts and ideas that we can then share with each other."

Paul thought a moment. "Well neither of us is anti-social. You are right we neglected that part of our lives because we had so much to fill our time. Let's make an effort to find some couples we can enjoy and do things with. That is a good place to start."

Anita hesitated and added, "I think we need our own friends. Not just other couples."

"Baby I am fine with that. You should have some friends that you can see without me hovering about. Let's both make a concerted effort to make other friends and then we can sit down and see how it is going."

They talked for another hour remembering the good times and deciding how to move forward. Finally Anita stood and walked over to Paul. Stopping she smiled and said, "At least we have a plan and both know we want to work on things. I love you Paul and want this to work out."

*****************

Anita walked in the house and put her gym bag down. She had joined a tennis club a few weeks earlier and was playing tennis every Thursday in a ladies league. She was not the best but she certainly was not the worst. More importantly she was meeting some friends. She stuck her head in the kitchen and did not see Paul so she headed upstairs to take a shower. She should have taken time to see if his car was in the garage but she had not thought about it.

She had just walked into the bedroom when her cell phone rang. It was Paul, "Hey babe. Where are you?"

"I am still at the office trying to finish up some paperwork. What are you up to? How was tennis?"

"Eve beat me silly but I am getting better. I was about to jump in the shower. How long will you be?"

Paul sighed, "It might be a while, at least a couple of hours."

"I wish I had known. Eve asked me to go out for drinks but I told her I needed to get home."

"Call her," Paul said. "She might still be available. Just let me know if you decide to go so I can pick up something to eat on my way home."

"Will do. I will call or text you back."

Hanging up she found Eve's number and dialed it.

"Hello," Eve said when she picked up.

"Hey. This is Anita. I was wondering if the offer to go out for drinks was still open. Paul has got to work late and I thought I might join you," Anita replied.

"Sure. I am meeting a friend at six at the beach and you are more than welcome. Do you know how to get to Tango's?"

"Yes," Anita replied. "I may be a few minutes late but I will see you there."

She took a quick shower and dressed. She had not been to Tango's in a couple of years but remembered it was very casual so she decided to wear a pair of jeans and blouse. Anita was excited. It had been a long time since she had gone out with girlfriends and especially to a bar without Paul. Grabbing her purse and cell she headed out the door as she phoned Paul. He did not pick up but she went into his VM and left a message.

The drive to beach was about twenty five minutes at this time of day from their home in Queens Harbor. She found parking and walked into Tango's at about six fifteen. Not too bad she thought. Looking around she spotted Eve sitting at a table near the back with a pretty Asian lady and made her way over to them. As she approached Eve looked up, smiled and got up from her seat.

"Hi there sweetie. You made good time."

"I was kind of proud of that myself. It normally takes me two hours to get ready to go anywhere," Eve replied.

Turning to her friend Eve said, "Niki this is Anita. She is part of the tennis club I belong to. Eve this is Niki."

"Nice to meet you Anita. You must be pretty good if you are playing with Eve," Niki said smiling.

"Well it is one thing to play. No one said I was much competition. Do you play?"

They fell into a comfortable banter about jobs, kids and husbands and it was after nine before Anita realized the time had slipped away. She excused herself and walked to a quieter area to call Paul. He had made it home and had eaten and was in bed reading. "No need to rush home. Enjoy yourself," he said as he yawned.

Anita hung up and headed back to the table and noticed that Niki was leaving with a gentleman. She waved goodbye to her as she sat down. "Was that Niki's husband?"

"No. That is Brett. A guy she spends some time with," she replied with a little smile.

"Spends time with?"

"Niki and her husband have an open marriage. Brett is her boy toy."

Anita just stared at Eve not quite believing her. "You mean her husband is ok with her having a boyfriend?"

"Yep. Seems to work well for them. You should ask her about it. It really is kind of fascinating what it has done for them."

Anita struggled to ask her next question, "And you and Mike?"

"No way. Mike is a typical guy. He would love to have another lady join us but he could not handle another guy. We keep sex between us but if he was ever willing to allow males and females I might go for it."

"Really? I have to be honest it is something I have heard about from time to time but I have never really thought about it or met anyone into it," Anita said.

"To each his own. I have always felt that whatever consenting adults do is fine. The two biggest things that cause divorce are money and sex. If you can take one of those out of the equation you doubled your chances of sticking it out."

"But what if you fall in love with someone you are having sex with. I would think that would be a bigger risk," Anita replied.

"True. It is a two edged sword I guess."

An hour later Anita slipped into bed with Paul who was snoring softly. Her mind wondered to Niki and her husband as she fell asleep.

****************

Friday after work Anita and Paul were out to dinner when Paul asked about her night out with the girls. "I think that is the first time in years that you went bar hopping with your friends," he said smiling.

"It was hardly bar hopping but it was fun. It was nice to just sit around and enjoy girl talk. Eve introduced me to one of her friends and it was an interesting evening," she replied coyly.

Sensing she had a story to tell Paul pressed her, "Interesting? I can read a lot into that."

"You should. As I said it was interesting."

"So do I have to beg it out of you or are you going to tell me?"

Laughing she replied, "Beg...it does you good. It seems that Eve's friend Niki is in an open marriage and her boy friend picked her up at the bar for an evening of fun."

"Really? I guess it is more common than one would think. What did she say about it?"

"I did not actually talk to her about it. After her boy friend picked her up I asked if it was her husband and Eve spilled the beans. I would have never guessed. You don't seem to surprised," she said.

"I'm not. Why would I be? I am sure there are many couples into all kinds of things we have never done before. I guess I am just not too judgmental about those things."

Anita was a little unsure of how to take what Paul had said. "Surely you have an opinion about it? What if I came to you and asked you for an open marriage? Surely you would never agree to that."

"I would consider it. Not sure I would agree to it but I would give it some thought before deciding."

"So if I came home one day and told you I had the hots for some guy you would consider letting me have sex with him? Are you kidding me? I would castrate you if you ever asked me."

Paul smiled at her response, "I am glad you told me. I will file that away and make sure I never ask that question."

"Quit joking. You cannot be serious that you would consider it."

"Of course I would. I am not sure about an open marriage but if you wanted to enjoy another person, male or female I don't think it would be the end of the world. It might keep things fresh and new between us."

Anita just stared at Paul wondering how she could not have known this about him after 25 years of marriage. She certainly had never considered having an affair. She settled into a quite reflective mood and despite Paul's best efforts the evening ended in an uncomfortable silence.

************************

It was two weeks later and Anita was meeting Eve at Tango's again for a ladies night out. It was a Friday and she normally would not have gone but Paul had gotten stuck in Atlanta and would not be home until Saturday. She walked in around seven and looked around for Eve but did not see her. She was about to find a table to wait when she saw Niki waving at her from the back of the bar. Since she did not see Eve she walked back to where Niki was sitting.

"What are you up to tonight," she asked as Niki got up and gave her a quick hug.

"Meeting Brett. Are you here with Eve?"

"Meeting her here. I am a little surprised she is not here yet," Anita replied.

"Join me while we wait for them. I don't think either of them have a clue about being on time. How has your week?"

"Good. Mike is out of town and will not be back until tomorrow so I thought I would get out of the house. How about yours?"

"Long. Nothing but problems the whole week. I need a fun night out," Niki said sighing.

"Well it is good you and your husband are able to get out. I wish Mike was here to join us," Anita said knowing full well Brett was not Niki's husband.

"I am not sure if Greg is getting out or not. He tends to stay home on Friday nights and go out on Saturdays. He does not have my stamina," Niki replied smiling.

"Brett is not your husband," Anita asked feigning surprise?

"Don't be coy with me. Eve told me she explained my marriage to you. You know Brett is just for fun."

Laughing Anita confessed, "Ok you got me. She did. I have never met anyone in an open marriage. Seems so strange to me."

"Well I am sure it is not for everyone but when you have been married as long as we have it seemed like a good compromise. We still love each other and want to be together but needed something to spice things up. What about you and Mike? How long have you been together?"

"Since high school. Empty nesters now with the kids out of the house. Starting to get out a little more after being focused on kids and careers for so many years," she replied sounding a little glum.

Sensing that things may not be going great Niki reached for Anita's hand. "All marriages have ups and downs. The thing is to find what works for you two and to hell with what anyone else thinks or does."

"I agree. Whatever a couple is comfortable with no one else has a right to question it. Your solution is so unique though. I have to admit I am curious. It is not something Paul and I would be into but it is an interesting solution."

Niki smiled, "Ask anything you want. It is not something that Greg and I try to hide. We are very open about it."

"So does Greg know Brett?"

"They have met a couple of times. They get along well but do not hang out with each other."

"So what would happen if Greg happened to walk in now? Would you avoid each other? Wouldn't it be uncomfortable," Anita asked?

"I am sure he would come over and speak. There is no reason to avoid each other. I would not feel I needed to leave with Greg or cut my night short with Brett. To be honest it is kind of kinky and exciting if we happen to run into each other while we are out."

Anita shook her head. "I just cannot imagine that. I have to admit I asked Paul what he thought about it and he said if I asked him about doing it he would consider it. I was floored. The last thing I would have thought he would entertain is me having a lover."

"Well if things are getting stale and you both need some excitement maybe you should consider it? How would you feel about him have a girlfriend," Niki asked?

Laughing Anita replied, "I would kill him."

They as silently for a moment before Anita continued, "I guess if I was doing it I would not have much room to be upset. How do you keep from getting emotionally involved? I mean it is ok to say it is only sex but how do you keep it that way. I would never want to lose Paul. We have so much history and we still love each other."

Niki paused considering this before replying, "Greg and I have always had two rules and only two. First we never miss special occasions together. Things like birthdays, anniversaries, holidays or vacations. We don't want to lose a sense of family and that the two of us is what is important. Second if you start developing feelings, even a little for the other person you stop seeing them. Anything else we let each other decide what they are comfortable with."

"Have you ever had issues? You or Greg getting jealous? Doing something the other gets upset about," Anita asked?

"Some. One time right after we started I talked to Greg about breaking the first rule. A friend, not Brett asked me go away for a week and it was the same week as his parent's anniversary. I felt like it was not my parents and not something special for us so it did not fall under the rules. We argued over that but he was right and I decided not to go. We have always spent that day with them celebrating and it is one of our special occasions. After that we listed them just to make sure we did not have that issue again. Other than that I guess I have been a little jealous a couple of times but nothing serious."

"I must admit that talking with you it seems like a workable lifestyle," Anita said as she contemplated what had been said.

"Give it a shot. Go out a couple of times. It does not have to include sex at first. Talk to Paul. It might be good for both of you."

They continued talking until Brett arrived. "You two look like you are in serious conversation. I don't think we have met. I am Brett," he said as he sat beside Niki.

"Nice to meet you. I am Anita. I guess Eve is not going to make it so I should hit the road. I hope she is ok? I text her but she never replied."

"That is Eve. No concept of time. No need to run off. Stay and have a drink with us."

Anita ended up staying another half hour and she had to admit the atmosphere was exciting. Just knowing what was going on between Brett and Niki was exciting. She stood to leave and Niki stood to give her a hug. As she did Niki let her hand slide down her back and rest on her ass. The hug lasted only a few seconds but Anita enjoyed the feeling. Pulling away she said her goodbyes and left.

*****************

The next Wednesday Anita was at the grocery store when her cell phone rang. She did not recognize the number so she let it go to voicemail. She finished her shopping, paid and walked to her car. Once she was settled in she checked to see if the caller had left a message and found that it was a call from Niki.

"Hi Anita. Hope you do not mind but I got your number from Eve. I am going out for drinks on Friday with a couple of friends and wanted to know if you would like to join us. You should have my number now so just let me know. Hope to see you then. Bye."

Anita sat in the car a moment and thought about the message. She wondered who the "couple of friends" were and if they were female or a couple of guys. It seemed the message was deliberately vague on that. She would enjoy going out for drinks. It was a sexually exciting hearing about Niki and her open marriage but it was something else to start down that road herself. What would she tell Paul? If she did go she would not try to make it sound like she was meeting Niki and a couple of girlfriends. She would tell him what she knew.

Later that night over dinner Anita mentioned the message to Paul and asked if he had plans for Friday night. "Isn't Niki your new friend with the open marriage," Paul asked.

"That's the one."

"Who are her friends? Is Eve going to be there?"

Smiling Anita replied, "Concerned I might be stepping out with one of her guys?"

"No. I know you better than that. You are way too conservative about sex to do anything like that."

Anita was not sure how to take that. She had never considered herself conservative about sex. They did everything Paul had ever asked. "What does that mean," she asked defensively?

"Nothing. I just remember how shocked you were about it and even more so about my response. I don't think stepping out is your style."

Was he goading her into going out? They ate in silence for a few minutes before Anita responded. "If you have nothing planned I think I will join them Friday night. Maybe I will work on getting over the conservative label I seem to have acquired."

"Don't get mad. I did not mean anything by that. We have just always been a little conservative about sex. We do not watch porn, play with toys or anything like that. I am fine with that. I did not mean to grill you about Niki and her friends. Go and have fun. I have golf early Saturday morning so I will hit the bed early."

Paul was home on Friday night when Anita came down the stairs dressed to go out. She had acted a little miffed with him since dinner on Wednesday. She was wearing a dress which surprised him a little but it was not skin tight or anything slutty so he was not upset. It was almost nine so he got up and walked her to the door. "Have a great time and behave yourself," he said joking. "I am headed up to watch the news and nod off. Don't drive if you have been drinking. Call me if you need a ride home."