A One-of-a-Ind Divorce

Author's Foreword: This story is about a cheating wife. Again, this submission states my POV. There is no hot sex, and I use precise words. Read at your risk. All errors are mine. I welcome all private communication, and I answer all Emails containing constructive criticism.

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Allen MacBane is a Computer Tech who one time rolled-out and now maintains the automated inventory system for his industrial parts house employer. The automation project completed ten years ago, this project was Allen's brainchild. Among the perks that come with his job today is that many vendor Sales Reps buy his lunch one or two times per week on average. All Sales Reps learned quickly that the Tech determined product sources and acted accordingly. Not only his position, but his outgoing personality added to his popularity among customers, vendors, and co-workers - from the order pullers to the star salesman.

It was the second Wednesday of the month, and Jeff Feinberg, a parts vendor sales Rep, drove Allen in Jeff's company car to a favorite lunch spot of both. The eye candy and the food were excellent at this restaurant, and it fit Jeff's 'client entertainment guidelines' published by his company.

Allen MacBane was 32, married, and had a working wife, Barb. They had a sixth and eighth grader at home. The Tech manager had worked his way up from the warehouse to his position after obtaining a BSCS degree online. Allen felt like he finally enjoyed a livable salary, and earns the perks provided by his job. Business-type friends for years told jokes, laughed and argued a lot about sports and local politics. A typical game played at lunch with a vendor was to look at the ladies and rate as them a '5' through a '10' in the looks and dress department. Today Jeff and Allen arrived at their regular, already crowded restaurant and immediately the Hostess asked them to follow her.

They passed a couple lunching at a table where the woman's back was to the newcomers. Allen mentally noted, "I think that lady is Debra Wilson, our neighbor. Damn! I should recognize her. Our two families hang out many hours in each other's home and yard. Maybe I am wrong." The hostess seated Allen and Jeff at the table directly behind the lady who looked familiar, with Harold's back facing the back of his suspected neighbor. After sitting down, Jeff said, "Allen, don't look now, but the woman whose back is to yours is a number '9,' did you notice?"

Allen said, troubled, "I noticed!"

As Allen and the Rep talked about lunch choices, the Tech's principal focus was on the couple behind him. After hearing the sound of her voice, he was certain that she was Debra Wilson, his neighbor. Allen did not recognize her lunch-date, however, who appeared to be in his late thirties. He was tall and well dressed and talked with a booming Boston accent even in the noon rush noisy restaurant. Jeff heard his voice as well and said to Allen, to be funny, "Allen, did I 'pahk tha Cawh' correctly?" They both chuckled.

The two men talked business while Allen tried to ignore his neighbor behind him, he concluded, "Debra didn't recognize me when I passed her. I would hate to think she has a thing going on with that loud-mouthed New Englander." After ordering, Jeff talked about a new type of multi-surface fastener that was his latest product pitch, plus two more upgrades on other items his company 'Repped' as Allen tried unsuccessfully to listen.

During a lull in the café noise, Allen could not help but hear his neighbor's lunch date boom at one point to her, "Oh love-of-my-life, my name is pronounced 'P-ba-dy' while 'P-Body' is not a pretty sound. Now to continue what I was saying, not only are you beautiful, but you took me to heaven this morning..." and Allen missed the rest of his sentence.

The Tech jerked his mind back to this moment of lunching with a vendor and asked Jeff an arcane product discussion question. Their chatting went on through lunch as they ate heartily. At one point Allen mused to himself, "My discomfort with the knowledge that Debra is fucking around on Charles is growing. I don't like this shit at all."

Allen said, "Jeff, the Manager is cracking down on our extended lunch breaks, can you get me back to the office pretty soon?"

He replied, "Sure, Allen. As soon as she brings a check, we will leave." After he had signed the slip, both stood to leave. As they passed Debra and her lunch date, Allen noticed the lover's sat at their cleaned table, and they were wrapped up in each other's arms across it in a 'death-like' grip while looking into each other's eyes. Debra glanced up and recognized Allen as he passed and her face turned white, and she even cried out in fear as she brought her hand in front of her face. Jeff and Allen continued walking and talking business, ignoring what was happening at their table in the crowded restaurant.

Back in the office, he changed an order source for four items to Jeff's company, and the two friends said goodbye to each other.

Allen immediately took another call and was talking. The second line flashed, indicating a forwarded call from the listed company number. Fearing that it was Debra, his neighbor, he ignored it and continued with his first call. In time, he checked his voicemail, and it had been Debra. The VM said, "Allen please talk to me before you tell Charles or Barb what you saw and may have heard today? Oh Please?"

He ignored her voice mail and got very busy managing a minor crisis in the data network. As for what he saw at lunch his first thought was to "Mind my own business."

Allen drove towards home in the crawling traffic. His mind churned, "Charles and I tee off at daylight Saturday on Tennyson East, but I have this damn cloud hanging over my head - if I were a real friend, would I tell him about Deb? If I did tell my Redneck neighbor, he would be in no mood to play golf. More importantly, he is at heart and a big mean Hombre and just might get violent towards Debra and her lover. Would Charles tell me if witnessed Barb and a hot date together? Yes, he would come straight to the point and further urge me to identify the dude and 'let's talk to him.' Charles loves Debra more than life itself and more than their child, even. Why do I have a problem with telling him? It must be that I would just get a divorce if that happened to me but, I am afraid, not Charles. O.K., I am going to broach the subject at the 19th Hole on Saturday."

That evening the MacBane Children were laughing and being themselves, and Barb talked about the latest gossip in the celebrated law office downtown, where she is a paralegal. Barbra said, "The Mouth - you remember, Teresa, the loud senior divorce attorney - was served with her very own divorce petition today at work. Scuttlebutt has it that she was banging the mailroom guy. All fourteen of us in our Section could hardly keep from laughing out loud. It couldn't happen to a more deserving Fat Bitch." Allen looked closely at his wife and mused to himself, "Adultery is just a damned game to Barb - and also Debra as she demonstrated today. What a fucked up world, when this is so common."

Later Allen was checking his 8th and 6th grader's homework and breathed a sigh of relief, that both seemed to be on top of their assignments and socially adjusted. After he had hugged them goodnight, he logged into his computer while Barb watched a 'soap' on TV. Routinely he checked the websites his children brought up, and found tracks of the usual assortment of games and streaming music sites.

Allen said to himself, "Debra's conduct disturbs me down deep in a way that it shouldn't because that is none of my business. On the other hand, it might be a wake-up call. I could check Barbra's URL tracks, but when I do that, the marriage is already over - and besides, do I want to know if she is copying Debra's behavior? SHIT! I don't believe she is, but I could and probably should check."

A few minutes later while Allen surfed, he said to himself, "Hey! Her IPhone is an anniversary present from me that I setup and activated for her, and she is computer-stupid. Since I know her Apple ID and password, I could check icloud's 'Find IPhone' feature from the office tomorrow at lunch to see where she and her co-workers go to lunch for the next few days and randomly from then on. Checking would at least set my mind at ease."

The next day at 11:30 Allen asked a colleague who took an early lunch to bring him a sandwich while he continued working. At five past noon, he logged into Jill's Apple account and checked her IPhone's location. It was in an area north of downtown - about three miles from the building where her law office employer occupies five floors. He looked at the address and the neighborhood on Google Earth only to find that there is no restaurant anywhere near where her phone is right now. In fact, her anniversary present was currently in the middle of a sprawling, newly constructed low-rise luxury condominium complex - Allen knew the area and had passed by going to lunch with several vendors. There was an iceberg suddenly lodged in his chest, but he forced himself to continue working, even though he had lost his appetite for the sandwich when the coworker delivered it.

When Allen got home, he walked from the garage through the pantry towards the kitchen. Barb was wearing her housecoat and smiled warmly at her husband while loading the clothes washer. She said cheerfully, "Hi Dear, how was your day," and continued, "Want to play with me after the children are in bed," after a perfunctory kiss?

Allen painted a smile on his face and said, "Maybe, let's see if I can get it up then."

She said coyly, "You playing hard to get, are you?"

At the dinner table later, Allen said, "Parkman picked me up a Kosher sandwich which I ate at my desk, and it was good. You ever had one of those, Dear?"

His wife said, "I don't believe so, and today one of the Pars. ordered pizzas so we stayed in the office and shared them."

Allen suddenly felt like he was going to be sick. Her statement marked the first time he knew for certain that Barbra point blank lied to him. His screaming thoughts raged in his head, "Oh Shit!" But he kept his cool then and all during the evening, as he helped the children with their homework and listened while both read to him. He hugged them goodnight and went to his and Barbra's bedroom.

Allen did his toilet in the MBR bath and picked up the clothes he would wear to the office in the morning. He said, "Barbra, I am sleeping on the couch from now on because you lied to me about what you did and where you went for lunch today. Goodnight." He watched her face turn white as she shielded it and he left the room closing the door behind him.

After the husband unfolded the hide-a-bed in the living room and put on sheets and blankets, he set up his IPhone to recharge on an end table. He then remembered that the land line phone beside his IPhone had been set to speaker phone the last time he used it. As he lay in bed trying to read, his thoughts intruded, "Hmm. She might visit and talk later. I will just turn on the voice recorder for a while." He lay down on the thin mattress afterward; again he attempted to read a novel on his Kindle.

In about ten minutes, Barb came in and sat on the side of his hide-a-bed with a blank expression on her face. She said faking nonchalance, "My affair has been going on for five weeks, and today was the third time Hunk and I got together at his condo. Allen, the man means nothing to me, and my only goal was to have a fling - What do you men call it? 'Get a little strange' on the side?' I think that is the street language. I still love you and love our children and want to keep our home and family together for their sake. Darling, it was my intention to have this little fling and go back to being your wife 100 percent, and carry my secret to my grave. I am sorry you figured out what was going on before I achieved my goal. For what it's worth to a Nerdy Puritan like you, the affair would have been over in another week at any rate."

Allen remained silent, and she continued, "So, do whatever you think you can afford to do, Mister MacBane. I suggest the prudent action would be to grin and get over it and let's live our lives together peacefully. At any rate, if you look at our assets and debts, the last thing we can afford is a divorce - shit we barely make our monthly house payment! Besides that I have you by the balls if you sue for divorce in that Teresa will be my attorney in court and she terrorizes the Domestic Relations Courts in Dallas County."

Harold, who was practicing a mind-control yoga relaxation technique to combat his circling thoughts while she spoke, was unable to believe his ears. He said to his hateful wife, "You are truly an evil woman, Barbra. Or, otherwise, there must be a 'fucking-around' virus that is attacking mothers in their early thirties."

Barbra asked, "What do you mean, 'virus'?"

He replied, "Yesterday, Debra Wilson, yes, our lovely neighbor, was wrapped up in her secret lover's arms in the restaurant where a vendor treated me to lunch. Hey! Deb's hot date was named Peabody - pronounced Boston style. I heard him stress his New England accented name, apparently miffed at her Texas drawl with the habit of stressing the first syllable. This tall, well-dressed gentleman then told her some 'red hot lovey things' which the Vendor and I heard - hey, did your lover say some of those 'red hot lovey' things to you? But, it doesn't matter. Hey, you and Debra could double date and have an orgy," he said just to needle her.

Jill's face turned white with rage as she jumped up and screamed out loud, "That Bitch!"

Barb grabbed the landline on the end table and dialed a number from memory. She spoke with anger unaware that the speakerphone blared, "Charles, would you wake up Debra, it's important that I talk to her!"

His voice said on the speakerphone, "She is already asleep, can this wait, Barb?"

Barbra said, "Please tell her that if she doesn't talk to me right now, I am going to shout to the world everything I know about our 'Boston Hunk.' She will know what I mean."

After an extended silence, Debra said, "Jill, I can not talk now as Charles is standing right here, let's, please, discuss this in the morning?"

Barb continued, "I don't care if King Kong is standing there, Debra. You are one back stabbing Bitch! I introduce you to Peabody in North Park, and before I know it you are fucking him. Damn you, and be prepared for consequences, since neither of us has heard the end of this triangle. Goodnight!" She slammed the phone down and leaned forward to hold her head in her hands.

Allen studied her for a moment and chuckled. He said, "EUREKA! I get it. Peabody is the big gun with Washington connections brought down here from Boston by your law firm for the widely-reported Broomfield non-performing-car-loans sale case that has been in the 'Morning News' paper for weeks - if I remember correctly. Hey, everyone expects a big, fat government check out of this trial - including your law firm - so you will need to cheer him on. Right?" He continued to chide her, "Ain't it a shame! You ladies thought each one of you were Peabody's exclusive go to pussy while in Dallas. Too bad, Dear. Heh Heh. Sleep well, and turn off the kitchen light on your way out, will you? Oh, by the way, Barb, we will get a divorce, but I will be fair and ask that also be fair, no matter the outcome."

!!

The Wilson household next door to the MacBanes was bedlam. Charles screamed after Debra hung up, "Tell me why Barb would call this late at night and if the reason was the cause of your being out of the office yesterday when Daycare finally called me since you had your goddam phone turned off?"

Debra was so choked up she couldn't speak, although her mind was whirling. She thought, "It's that goddam Allen who saw me with Peabody who must have told Barb - my worst nightmare has come true. If I tell the truth, Charles will break up the furniture but if I lie Allen will tell him on the golf course Saturday, if not before. Oh shit! There is no way out for me. Oh God! Please forgive me."

Her husband screamed, "Are you giving me the silent fucking treatment or just creating a plausible lie to tell me?" At that point, their five-year-old came into the room frightened and crying and went directly to her Mother. Debra held her tight to both calm the child and as a shield from a possibly violent Redneck husband.

Debra looked at Charles and lied, "I don't love you and haven't since before Harriet was born. Charles, it's nothing that you lack, please understand that it's just that I wanted to experience other men. I tried to interest you in swapping with Allen and Barb to spice up our marriage, and you wouldn't even consider it. In fact, you got pissed at me for suggesting it as a possibility. And, FYI, the reason daycare couldn't find me yesterday was that most of the day I was with my lover. So there I have told you the truth, and I will be fair in our divorce. But for right now, let's get some sleep because we both work tomorrow."

Charles looked at his wife steadily as she talked, as if he were trying to poke words into his brain unequipped for this kind of information. His first thought was, "I have got to get out of here before I wind up in the Huntsville Prison." He abruptly left the room and went to their garage. He raised the double door and then crawled into the cab-over camper mounted on the back of his pickup truck. Charles wiggled himself into his sleeping bag inside the camper and attempted to go to sleep. But he lay there with his mind churning until his phone beeped 6:30 A.M.

Charles went into the house and checked on their five-year-old and then crept into his master bedroom closet to fetch clothes and the bathroom to get his toilet kit. In the downstairs half-bath, he looked at himself in the mirror and said, "I will ruin wood pieces if I attempt to operate the lathe today, so I had better take a sick day. God this sinkhole feeling right here in my gut prevents my focusing on anything. That Bitch!"

Ten minutes later Charles was dressed and begin fixing pop-tart and coffee. He looked out the window and noticed all the lights in the MacBane household were shining brightly. He took a chance and dialed Allen, his neighbor.

The Tech said, "Good morning, Charles, I bet you didn't get much sleep last night either, did you?"

Charles answered him, "Not a bit. I'll probably take sick leave today."

Allen said, "I won't go into the office today either as my focus will be on solving my problem. By the way Charles, it was my intention to tell you about seeing Debra and the 'Boston Hunk' lunching together and I was going to do this on the links Saturday - This shit happens every day so it's not the end of the world and Harriet still loves her Dad. Hey! Just think. Debra and Barb are fucking the same dude - small world, brought to a whole new definition, right?"

Allen continued, "Shit! If it weren't happening to me, I wouldn't believe it. Just imagine how unusual it is for two lady neighbors in the process of nurturing children to be fucking the same 'Boston Hunk.'" Charles heard his friend's laughter that morphed into tears.

Allen said, "Why don't you hang out with me this morning over here until we review our options of what we can do."

Charles said, "O.K. I will see you in about a half hour after the children catch the bus."

!!

Barb MacBane lay in bed after she turned out the kitchen light but sleep wouldn't come. She screamed to herself, "Goddam the two friends at the Advocacy meeting urged me to assert myself and pursue what I want. Peabody flirted, and I flirted right back at him because he was what I wanted and looked soooo hot. But, because I did that and got caught my whole fucking world is destructing. Why couldn't I just have had a short fling in secret and get it out of my system the way those women in the Group have mastered the process. But I couldn't get out of introducing Debra to Peabody last week at North Park because she came upon us while we were holding hands. Debra is a looker, which I am not, and Peabody insulted me by flirting with her while we three chatted. I should have told him to go fuck himself then! So, that Bastard called her and made a date for lunch. Allen saw them having a hot lunch together, and he then became suspicious and started checking on me. Of course, he is a computer Techie, and that was easy and no cost to him."