The idea for this story popped into my head as I was out gathering Monarch butterfly eggs off the milkweed in my backyard. I sat down and typed it all out in a couple of hours.
This isn't the story I intended to upload as my second offering but it sprang to life so quickly that I decided to just set it free. I'd like to think that this story would fit in the "Humor/Satire" category but here it is in LW. Please, have fun with it!
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"I'm really confused, Janey. Why do you have so little respect for your husband?"
"How can I respect him when he can't see what's happening right under his nose?"
"So you disrespect him because he can't see that you're having an affair with John?"
"Exactly."
"Hmm, I see. So how did you come to have so little respect for him that you started your affair with John?"
"Because he didn't see it when I was with any of my lovers before John, either. Honestly, Megs, you can be so dense sometimes."
"Well, why did you have so little respect for him that you started an affair in the first place?"
"Because he wasn't making me happy, of course!"
"What were you so unhappy about and did you talk to him about it?"
"I told him I wasn't happy being cooped up in the house all day after the kids all started going to school. I told him I needed to get out for some adult interaction. We decided I'd get a job and that's when I went to work for Gallagher and sons."
"Getting that job, getting out of the house during the day; that made you happy, then?"
"No, it didn't. I told Roger I felt like I was being taken for granted; that now that I was out of the house during the day working I needed help with all the household chores. You know, cleaning, cooking, laundry, dishes, looking after the kids and all that stuff."
"Wasn't he already helping with everything, even though he was working a full time job and doing all that remodeling work inside the house that you wanted done, not to mention tending that garden you just had to have?"
"Sure he was, but that was stuff he did all the time anyway, before I went back to work. With me working he just needed to pick up the slack."
"Hmm, I see. Actually I have no idea what you're talking about, Janey. Seems to me that any slack that existed was caused by you not doing your share of the housework. Did you tell him about anything else that made you unhappy?"
"Sure. I told him I'd like to go out to dinner, see a show or go dancing with him. But he always wants to go out on Friday or Saturday nights because he has to get up so early during the week to go to work. And I can't go out with him those nights because I'm with John then."
"So you're unhappy that Roger isn't taking you out dancing or whatever but you turn him down when he asks you to do those things? Is that what you're telling me?"
"Yeah, but it's not just that. I asked him to remodel the master bathroom and expand my clothes closet into the linen closet in the hall. He said he'd get to them after he finished the basement, which I'd asked him to do a long time ago; at least a couple of months. He's so lazy sometimes it seems like I have to throw a fit before he gets moving! I mean, he didn't start on the bathroom until 2 days after he finished the basement. Then it took him five days to get the work done. And then he waited 3 whole days before he started on the closet. What's worse, he actually wouldn't let me use the bathroom while he was remodeling it. I couldn't even sleep in the master bedroom because of the noise he was making while he was working in the bath. He's so inconsiderate! He could have tried to make less noise so I could sleep but he just kept on banging on those pipes, pulling tiles off and who knows what else. Can you imagine that? I mean, what's the use of having a big bathroom and bedroom like that if you can't use them! I tell you, the things I have to put up with; it's enough to drive one to drink. It's a good thing I had my lovers to go to at night so I didn't have to deal with most of the commotion."
"I don't know, Janey. It sounds to me like he's doing everything you wanted him to do but you're just not willing to see it. Isn't he essentially doing everything for the kids, too? He takes them to doctor appointments, to their school activities and even handles the parent teacher meetings. Sounds like he was doing so much at home that there's nothing left for you to be unhappy about. Didn't he constantly tell you he loved you, tried to make love to you, told you how attractive you still were to him? I know he sent you flowers at work at least a couple of times a month. He seemed really devoted to you."
"Of course he does all that, but he has to; he's my husband. We couldn't very well stay married if he didn't feel that way about me, could we?"
"No, I suppose not. But doesn't that work the other way around, too? How can you stay married if you don't feel the same way about him?"
"Oh, Megs. You just don't understand. I still love him but he's so busy all the time doing who knows what that I have to get out to spend time with my other men. It's not the least bit complicated."
"I see. Well, actually, I don't see at all. You had him doing virtually everything at home; housework, cooking, cleaning, dealing with the kids while still making all those home improvements you wanted done yesterday. And then you complain that he's too busy to spend time with you. I just don't get you, Janey.
"Well, enough of that. What do you think of that new sun-room he built for you? It's pretty big, isn't it?"
"Yeah, he really went overboard on that thing. I mean, he actually ran plumbing in there and put in a huge steel sink! I don't know what he was thinking, but it's about 4 times the size I told him I wanted. And all the electrical outlets! You'd think he was planning to put in a couple hundred lights or something. And the floor; that's really strange. He made it out of Corian, that stuff you usually use for counter-tops. He said it'll be easy to keep clean, though I don't see why that's such a big deal. He said it'll also stand up to putting in shelves or whatever else might go in there. It's also a lot cheaper than quartz and easier to install than cement. He even added black-out shades over all the windows, which makes no sense to me. I mean, why would you want to darken a sun-room? The room even has its own separate heating and air conditioning with solar power, whatever that is. I don't get it but he seems pleased with it so what do I care?"
"I see what you mean, but being bigger with all the other features will make it a lot more useful for certain things. Now that he's, I mean, once he finds out about you slutting around maybe he'll want to set it up as a sex dungeon and start holding orgies out there. I bet you'd like that!"
"Now, now, Megs. Don't go putting ideas in my head. I'm having a hard enough time making sure Roger doesn't find out about John. Or Phil, or Randy or Jaquan, for that matter, although they're ancient history now."
"Speaking of Jaquan, how does John stand up to him. Or Roger, for that matter."
"Jaquan was great, as you very well know since I told you all about him at the time. I've never had so many or as hard orgasms as he gave me, but he was way too rough. I mean, rough is really good once in a while but it's not lovemaking and gets to be just too raw. I don't get off nearly as much with John but at least I can still walk when he's done with me. Of course, Roger is still the best because it's not just the sex with him. We cuddle and can talk about all the daily things that come up and all of that. There's real intimacy with Roger that I can't get with anyone else. Or at least it used to be that way."
"What do you mean, "it used to be that way"?"
"Well, lately he hasn't been very interested in making love to me, or even cuddling. I don't even know how long it's been since we did it but it's been a while. Of course, I always turned him down when he got frisky after I'd been with John or whoever but he hasn't even tried for quite a while. I wonder why that is?"
"Maybe he found out and he's no longer interested in getting sloppy seconds or sleeping with a skanky whore. Maybe he figured if he was going to be with a whore that he might as well get one that shows him a really good time."
"I'm not a whore! Why did you say that about me?"
"Well, you ARE slutting around. Look at all the guys you've been sleeping with. Wait, you're not a whore, though, because they don't pay you, do they? Guess that really does just make you a slut."
"Why do you keep insulting me? You're supposed to be my friend. Here I am pouring my heart out to you, and you keep calling me bad names?"
"Have I called you anything that you're not? No, I haven't. You've earned each of those monikers."
"Well, maybe so, but I don't like it just the same. And why would Roger want to go looking for whores when he's got me right here?"
"Except he doesn't have you right there, does he? You said yourself that you always turned him down when you've been with one of your boyfriends and you've been with one of them at least 3 or 4 times a week for, what, 8 months or so?"
"It's been almost a year and a half but who's counting?" She chuckled out loud at her little joke.
