A Hardened Heart
Another long story. I can't seem to write short or quickly. Or with much sex. Sorry. All characters having sex in this story are 18 years of age or older.
Chapter One: Patty Ann Bowers: middle and high school
When I was young, and especially in middle school in the early 1960's, I dreamed of a magical prince coming to rescue me - to rescue me from myself. I was skinny, pale, no boobs, short, mousy brown hair, not very good at schoolwork. No redeeming qualities at all. Life wasn't bad exactly. It just wasn't good. My parents and I lived in Macon, Georgia, my whole life. Dad did something at a bank and Mom stayed home. They were okay parents; I mean they didn't fuss at me to do better at school or to be more social, they just sort of left me alone. Since I was an only child and not very social, life was pretty lonely.
And life got even worse when I started high school in ninth grade. I had just turned 15 in 1964 when ninth grade started and I still had no breasts, nothing, nada. I could tell that having breasts does great things for a girl in high school. And not having breasts also does an amazing thing: it makes a girl invisible. That first day at Keokuk High School exactly six people spoke to me: five teachers when they called my name during roll call and the lunch lady who asked me, "peas or carrots," when I was going through the lunch line. When I got off the bus that day after school I walked the two blocks to our house, went upstairs straight to my room and as soon as I shut the door behind me started crying.
The first three years of high school, freshman, sophomore, junior, didn't change much from that first day. I got along, had a few people I said hi to, not really friends, more like substitutes for the friends I didn't have. Grades were okay, actually pretty good. Since I didn't socialize or play any sports, I had plenty of time to study. I had exactly two dates during those first three years: one date with a guy a year ahead of me. He asked me to go to a movie with him, and I said yes. It (the movie, him, the whole evening) was really boring, and that date got embarrassing some time later when I found out he had lost a bet and had to ask every one of the girls in my class out on a date. I certainly wish I had said no. The other date was with the cousin of one of the girls I said hi to. A cousin of hers was visiting from Michigan and she fixed us up. He was actually ok, and we had a good time: typical movie and then ice cream together. Of course, he returned to Michigan before we ever went out a second time. But I had enough of a good time that he was my fantasy friend when I discovered masturbation.
I had missed almost a year of school when I was 11, because of some infection that just wouldn't clear up. Result was that I repeated fourth grade, which made me a year older than most of my classmates in high school. Maybe that is why I discovered sex later than most people. I don't mean sex like actual sex with a real boy, or even a girl, god forbid, but just sex like playing with myself, and imagining actual sex.
Life changed for me at the end of my junior year. I think my mom, certainly not Daddy, finally noticed that my social life was pretty much nil, and I am sure she talked about it with her older sister, my Aunt Bea. Her real name was Beulah, but I couldn't say that when I was little, so I always called her Aunt Bea. She lived on a farm in southeast Missouri, with her husband, Uncle Roy, and three boy cousins. We only saw them once every few years, so I didn't really know her or my cousins. Anyway, about a week before school was over, Mom sat down with me in the kitchen and told me the plans for me for the upcoming summer. She never asked if I was okay with the plans, and I never objected. I had no job lined up, no summer school, no steady boyfriend, well, no boyfriend at all, no girls to hang out with, no plans at all really, so I was okay with her plan: to send me to Missouri for the summer.
I think Daddy didn't have much to do with my trip to Missouri. He never even told me goodbye. The day after school finished, Mom and I drove up to the big Atlanta airport and she walked me to the gate from where Delta would fly to Memphis. We departed on time, the first time I had ever flown. It was pretty exciting, and then kind of boring, and then we landed. Aunt Bea met me at the gate, with one of my cousins.
"Patty Ann, I'm so happy to see you. You remember your cousin George." My Aunt Bea was wrapping me up in a hug and talking at the same time. "Girl, you look like you need some fresh air and sunshine on a hardworking farm. Right, George?" I was dragged along toward baggage claim, with Aunt Bea taking all the time. She did stop to draw breath once and cousin George piped up.
"Patty Ann, you know my mom talks all the time. You'll get used to it. We only get to talk when she has to breathe."
"Now, George, that is just not true. You'll have Patty Ann believin' ...." And she was off again. George rolled his eyes, behind her back, and I got the giggles. Eventually, my bag came, and we headed out to their farm.
The next three months I busted my butt. At first, I was totally surprised. Aunt Bea and Uncle Roy expected me to work just like my boy cousins. And they all worked hard: getting up early every morning, feeding the cows and pigs and chickens before breakfast, and then doing the real work after breakfast. It's still hard for me to believe, but Aunt Bea had a hand plow with two ropes tied to the front. George and I pulled the hand plow thru the truck garden with Aunt Bea guiding and pushing it from behind. Thank god George was strong enough to do most of the pulling. But even with that, I could barely eat supper before I fell asleep.
Their farm fed them most of what they ate, but the real work was growing soybeans. Uncle Roy and the two older boys worked the soybeans while George and I worked the truck garden with Aunt Bea and helped with the feed animals: the chickens, two cows and two pigs. For the first few weeks, I went to bed every night right after supper, too tired to play cards or watch TV or do anything except go to sleep. After a while I did get used to the hard work and spent some evenings after supper playing cards with my cousins. Thank god we didn't play for money. I think they were all card sharks. But it was fun, and I did learn to play poker and hearts and some other card games. They all seemed to like playing cards with me, I thought because they could all beat me. But Aunt Bea had a different idea.
One evening she asked me to stay downstairs and talk with her as we were all just about to head upstairs to bed.
"Patty Ann," she said, "I think you are doing real well here. You're a hard worker and you're getting along just fine with your cousins. Next week is the Fourth of July and the town has a celebration that we all go to every year. Fireworks and good barbecue and dancing in the town square. I think you'll have a good time, but we need to get you some new clothes." I looked down at myself and thought about getting new clothes. Standard uniform on the farm was t-shirt and shorts, and that's what I had been wearing for about a month. I realized the t-shirt I was wearing had worn a little thin and then I realized I had nipples. Nipples!!! And as I looked down at myself the nipples seemed to pop out a little more. And those nipples were perched on top of breasts. I mean, actual breasts. Not big ones, but real breasts that actually had some shape. I looked up at Aunt Bea and tried to say something, but she pressed ahead.
"Patty Ann, not to embarrass you, but I think your cousins like to play cards with you partly because they like to play cards with you but also because they like to look at you. And that's okay. I mean, boys like to look at pretty girls, and you are a very pretty girl, and getting prettier every day." I didn't know what to say, but that was okay because Aunt Bea just kept talking.
"For the Fourth of July party and also for wearing here on the farm, we need to get you some new clothes. So, tomorrow, you and I are going to town to go shopping. We'll get you some new shorts and t-shirts, and also some bras and a dress or two." I was still speechless as I struggled to understand what she was saying. I did manage to say thank you, and then rushed upstairs to my room. I stripped off my clothes to look at myself. My god, I wasn't really myself anymore. I mean, I had breasts, little ones, but real, and a waist, and my hips had grown, and when I looked in the mirror at my butt it was sticking out. It was like magic. A month of working on the farm and I didn't look like a stick anymore. I looked like a real girl. I fell asleep that night with a big smile on my face. And the smile got bigger the next day.
At breakfast, Aunt Bea announced she and I were going shopping. That meant I got a day off from work and George and the other cousins didn't. George started to complain, but a stern look from his mom cut off his complaint. I tried not to smile, but I couldn't help it. After cleaning up the breakfast dishes, Aunt Bea and I drove to town, to a department store, and my smile got even bigger.
We started in the Ladies Intimates section. My mom had always bought my bras for me, and they were always training bras because, I have to say, I didn't really need them. But now, the nice sales lady held a tape measure around my chest.
"I'd say 34A, but you're what, honey? 15? And growing like a weed I expect."
"Uhh, I'm 17, and I'll be 18 in August."
"Well, I expect you're a late bloomer," she said to me and Aunt Beath both. "Let's go with a 34B and I expect you'll grow into it before summer's over." I didn't have a clue, but Aunt Bea agreed, and we picked out three bras, two plain white ones and one with little flowers on it. They sent me into a dressing room to put one on, and I picked the flowered one. After I put it on, I realized my t-shirt kind of showed thru it. I called out to Aunt Bea for some help. She bustled into the dressing room and immediately saw the problem. She held up one finger and bustled right back out. A few minutes later she returned with a blouse and a pair of shorts.
"Let's get you out of those old clothes, honey. That t-shirt's too thin even for a rag, and you outgrew those shorts a few inches ago." I looked back in the mirror, and I could see my cheeks peeking out of the bottom of my shorts - my butt cheeks. God, that was so embarrassing - my boy cousins had been looking at me looking like that. They probably thought I was trying to flash them. Aunt Bea must have seen the look on my face.
"Honey, don't you worry now. Here, put these on," she said, holding out the new blouse and shorts. "Then we'll do a little shopping."
