This story is part fiction, part real. The characters in the story are people from real life and most of the circumstances and surroundings are very much real. As usual, there is some amount of exaggeration and spice added to make it more appealing to the reader.
Just like my other stories, please be warned that the story contains very strong cuckold elements. It revolves around the beauty and beast theme and borrows heavily from mating behaviors and patterns of animal kingdom.
If this is not your thing, please stop offending yourself and move on.
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Chapter 5 - Realizations, affirmations, and a sweet treat!
My life was in a turmoil for the next few weeks. I was sexually excited at the prospect of learning my predetermined cuckold status; visualizing Nishma and Uncle having frantic sex soon after our marriage and even her getting pregnant by him. Yet on the other hand, learning my family history felt humiliating. I looked for rejecting everything that I had learned during that trip.
I looked at the plausibility of the story first. Women from our inner social circle did have plenty of opportunities and perhaps even incentive if they wanted to indulge in such affairs. Husband's usually managed some or other businesses and were traveling quite frequently. Yet nothing seemed out of the ordinary. I then turned my attention to my cousin's family. He had two sons now and everyone had noted how they looked very different from each other. The elder one had a tad darker skin complexion while the younger one was very fair just like her mother. I tried very hard to look at the pictures and soon enough I could see my Uncle's features in the elder son. Not sure if it was my mind playing tricks or there was some truth to the story. Each passing day only reinforced my initial conclusion.
Even if it weren't true, my mind by now wanted it to be true. I would have nervous breakdown thinking about the consequences. What if Nishma too got pregnant by him and someone else was able to spot the differences. Nishma was supportive as I discussed my quandaries with her during the next two weeks. We spoke about her having extramarital sex with not just one but potentially many partners during our lifetime. This definitely had its own challenges but I was concerned about her getting pregnant by them. Even though it seemed that Nishma wasn't stable or patient, I learned that she could listen with empathy. In her mind, it wasn't such a big deal - as I learned about it later - but she never brushed aside my concerns as superfluous or baseless.
I have tried to condense the gist of our conversation that practically spanned across two weeks for the benefit of readers. It may seem concocted and perhaps it is because of my attempt to concisely capture our dialogue during that brief period. Keep in mind that this conversation happened much before the advent of Google; even Televisions were just making their way in.
It is also an attempt to capture the angst that a new cuckold goes through. He wants all of it to be true and yet aspires for redemption by finding that it was completely baseless to begin with. You may have read such stories where the climax of the story is the realization that it was all a dream. It is an attempt to protect the fragile ego of the readers and perhaps even the writers.
Truth is never at the extremes; it is always found in the middle, sitting comfortably in the grayest of areas!
"Nishma aren't you afraid of social consequences?" I broached up the subject.
"What if someone learns about our clandestine activities?"
"What if you get pregnant?"
"What if someone learns the child is not mine?"
There were a zillion questions and perhaps many different ways I must have said it.
"Adwait calm down," she responded in the most assured fashion.
"The foremost thing is that I love you. I understand that no matter how many times I say it; it just won't be enough," she started.
"Whether it is our family tradition or not, it seems that we would have opted for such a lifestyle eventually."
"And if it indeed was our destiny then why fear it?"
"Why did we want this?" she continued to elaborate.
"I loved the thrill of sex - and you fantasized a well endowed man ploughing my pussy."
"Life is providing such an opportunity - why refuse?"
"Suppose we decide to refuse - do you really think it is possible?"
"Don't think so," I mumbled.
"Once you start playing with fire, nothing less adventurous appeals you."
"Adwait whether this is the lifestyle for us should be a foregone conclusion. What matters is how we orchestrate it and who we choose to entertain us as the lead characters in our life."
"But what if this tradition was completely untrue - something of a ploy to suck us into this dark web?"
"Even if it were untrue then also it serves our purpose?"
"How so?"
"As I said, it is our realization that the traditional monogamous or rather monotonous life is not for us."
"If the traditional structure of our culture forbids it then this tradition offers us a solid foundation for our alternative lifestyle."
"If this tradition were true then it should be apparent that it was socially acceptable in our families - even if on the face of it everyone feigns ignorance."
"If it weren't true then at least we have it as cover and can claim that we did it to continue the tradition and were misled."
"Aren't you worried about real consequences - diseases, pregnancy?"
"I am."
"But you don't show it?"
"Perhaps because I have given sufficient thought to it."
"You see," she continued, "diseases are not a concern if we remain in the trusted circle."
"Social stigma should be the foremost concern in mind," she added, "when it comes to such clandestine affairs."
"That is of course mitigated by the fact that he is from the trusted circle; even if you reject the validity of the tradition itself."
"Pregnancy is perhaps the last concern I have, if I may call that."
There was a little relief hearing her accede to at least one concern even if she seemed non committal on it.
"Condoms may help but aren't foolproof," she continued, "I mean thinking that something of his size can be found here."
Nishma mentioned it quite casually and it didn't even seem as if she was boasting about his equipment. She was only hypothesizing that such penises were uncommon in India. I had some guess about his dimensions but mostly it was based on her description itself. I didn't feel it was worth arguing over. Besides I had hoped him to be well-endowed as well. Thinking of the central issue - about pregnancy - it was only relieving to learn that Nishma had some apprehensions about it. It made sense to not overcomplicate such relationships by bringing in little ones. On the other hand, we both knew, that if there was a zenith to cuckolding then it was allowing alien seed to take root in her womb.
"Besides insisting on such a flimsy barriers only increases the distance between us without really offering any security."
"I am a little old fashioned - prefer everything natural - just the way nature intended it!"
"But I am digressing - pregnancy is a concern but we are predisposed to that risk already."
"Isn't it?"
"Accidents can happen right?"
Even though in today's world avoiding the use of condom can only be called stupid, the situation then was far different. AIDS was only a rare form of disease that had recently descended on the planet and we hardly knew much about about it. Condoms were a recent phenomenon. Even after the government's persistent encouragement, to use condoms, have only 2 children and keep a minimum of 2 years between the two children, most couples practiced natural sex and perhaps tried very little to avoid pregnancy. It was common to have at least 3 children in any family and 6 was not as uncommon as it is today.
"Nishma but why would you complicate things with such considerations in an already complex relationship?"
"You are right but we are discussing possibilities here - and we can't seriously deny such a possibility."
"In fantasies, it was given - a privilege bestowed on the well endowed by virtue of his sexual prowess."
"Yes but in fantasies living the wildlife is much easier."
"True but not many are like us, who have the courage to enact them in real life."
"And surely none has the courage that you have to let your fiance play with a stranger or lecherous uncle and actually risking intercourse."
"You even risked pregnancy by taking me to uncle's place during my fertile period."
"No one could be that courageous," she exclaimed.
"Or foolish," I remarked.
"Living life on your own terms is a privilege that not many can afford. You should feel proud and not ashamed," she countered.
Nishma was a free spirited person. She never let circumstances or traditions dictate her life. You would be naive to conclude that she was subjugating herself to such a demeaning role for simply carrying on the tradition. She would break most traditions in a heartbeat but not this one. She believed in this tradition and felt it was coherent with her own aspirations.
Sex was an important consideration for her. She never really confirmed if she was a virgin or not as she constantly kept on vacillating between yes and no on some pretext or another. I did learn later that she was in fact a virgin since she had no penetrative sex yet; although that shouldn't put her in the innocent category.
Nishma had a conventional outlook towards life. She believed that it was meant to be lived fully - morality was not much of concern as this was the only life we would live; there were no favors to be reaped for the next life. Sex had a very important place in her routine - without it everything fell apart for her. I learned this soon after getting married but then I had suspected that it is simply her young hormones that were acting up. It was just wishful thinking on my part. Perhaps I am jumping ahead a little.
"What is important that you have the character to admit your strengths and weakness without having an inflated opinion about yourself - and although it may seem that you have rather inferior feeling about yourself at the moment, it is something that shall soon pass."
"Why do you say that?"
"What strengths are you talking about?"
"You are bold Adwait," she replied, stunned with my ignorance.
"Who would hold the hand of a woman who has lost her virginity before marriage?"
"Even then who could even admit having such perverse thoughts to their better half, so early in their life."
"Most men die with those desires securely stashed in the deep corners of their hearts."
"And if that were not enough, who would have the courage to live it out?"
"Unfazed by the social consequences."
"I am concerned Nishma," I interjected.
"Yes and so you should be. It is not something that should be taken lightly."
"What is it that bothers you the most Adwait?" she asked in her calm voice.
We were restarting the conversation again. This happened so many times during that period as we indulged in long discussions but without resolving anything. Eventually Nishma took it in her hands and tried to pry it out from me.
"I can see a few things that are bothering you," she continued and enumerated them.
"1. You don't like me choosing your Uncle."
"2. You are afraid of the consequences - pregnancy and social stigma to be specific."
"3. You are not sure if you could handle it once everything is set in motion."
