A Crowd of One

Cody slid the envelope across the kitchen table to his wife of 18 years, Ashley.

"What's this?" she asked.

"See for yourself."

Ashley opened the envelope and pulled out several pictures of her having sex with another man. She showed no shock or displeasure. After looking at all the pictures, she remarked, "Those are not very good pictures. If you want better ones, I can arrange for you to join me and Amos the next time and get some higher quality pictures."

"It doesn't bother you to know that I am aware of your cheating?" Cody was getting very agitated.

"No, why should it? Hell, Cody, everyone does it. Except maybe you."

"Everybody does it? That's what a twelve-year old tells his mother. Surely you can do better than that."

"Okay. How about 'What difference does it make?' Geez, you're making a big deal out of nothing. What is your problem?"

"It is nothing, you say? It was nothing that you promised to forsake all others when we got married. I guess that none of the other wedding vows we took means anything either."

"I never 'forsook you.' Forsaking you means that I fall in love with someone else. I don't love Amos. I still love you. I just use him for sex. No one gets hurt by that."

"No one gets hurt? What about his wife? What about me? What about our daughter?"

"His wife knows about us. She has her own boyfriend. We even double-dated once. Our daughter knows. We've talked about it. She says she's cool with it. You're the only one getting all hot and bothered. The only way you might be hurt is your pride. You think because we are married you own my body. Well, I own my body. Our marriage has not suffered one bit by what I've done. You haven't even been aware I had a boyfriend."

"I knew the day you started, August 14, 2018. You said you were having a night out with the girls. I knew when you came home you had been fucked. Your whole attitude towards me and your family changed. I had to get your attention half the time because you were daydreaming, probably about your last encounter with your lover. Attempts to get you to talk about us or taking trips where we could have some time together were never important enough for you to bother with.

"How about our bedroom life. You have refused sex with me every time after you've had sex with Amos. Even when you have had sex with me, you've been somewhere else in your head. You probably were imagining fucking Amos while you were supposed to be fucking me. I say 'fucking' because we have not made love since you started fucking him. So, don't tell me it hasn't affected our marriage."

"How could you possibly know what I was thinking when we were having sex?"

"Well, calling out 'Amos, fuck me harder, babe' was a pretty good indicator."

"I did not. . . . . Did I?"

"You sure did. And we used to make love 3-4 times a week. Now I'm lucky if I get it one time a week."

"If all you want is more sex, then let's go to bed right now. Good grief, you sound like a kid that got his football taken away by a bully."

"I wouldn't fuck you with a hundred condoms on. Not after you fucked Amos bareback."

"Cody, you don't have to worry. Amos is clean."

"How do you know?"

"Well, he told me so. He only fucks me and his wife."

"Let's see. He only fucks you and his wife. You've already told me his wife has one boyfriend. Is her boyfriend clean? Does she have more than one boyfriend? Does her boyfriend have more wives he fucks too? And surely, Amos would not lie to you about having another girlfriend besides you."

"Well, I believe him."

"That's too bad because I saw him and Jerilyn Morris go into the Motel 6 last Saturday night."

"What! That cheating bastard! And with that slimy, skanky-assed whore. Are you telling the truth?" Cody nodded.

"It's amazing to me that you call your cheating boyfriend a cheater when he isn't cheating with you. It's almost funny."

"Shit, I need to get to the Health Department now to get tested. You better come too. Jerilyn is probably a petri dish for all kinds of STDs."

"I went yesterday. I get the results Friday."

Ashley left. Before long, their daughter Candice came in the house. "What's got up Mom's butt? She went stomping to her car and tore out of the driveway. You guys have a fight?"

"She's gone to have a STD test. I caught her boyfriend cheating on her with a prostitute. By the way, she says you already knew about her having a boyfriend and was good with it."

"Yeah, so?"

"You don't think it's a problem that your mother has sex with another man while she's still married to your father?"

"Not really. It's not like she loves him and wants to run away with him. As long as you get your piece of her ass on a regular basis, what do you care?"

"My God! Has the world decided to go crazy all at once? I guess I need to have DNA tests run on us. You may not really be my daughter. I could get back child support payments for raising you and I could stop supporting you."

"Cut the crap, Dad. You know I'm your daughter. Why don't you go out and get laid yourself? There are probably some horny women out there that would be attracted to you."

"Candice, what would you do if your boyfriend had an extra girlfriend or two on the side?"

"He probably does. And I have Bobby to have sex with whenever Glen is gone. No big deal."

"My head is hurting. I've got to get away for a while. You're on your own for supper."

"Fine, just give me some money so I can go out."

"Arrrrgh!" But he gave her the money.

Cody headed for his mother's house. His father had left her for another woman years ago. He knew his mother would give him a sympathetic ear.

"Cody, how good to see you, son. Where are Ashley and Candice?"

"They're taking the express train to Hell, I hope."

"My goodness, such talk. Come in here and tell me what's going on."

"Mom, Ashley has been having sex with another man. She sees nothing wrong with it. Even Candice thinks it's okay. They think I should go along with it. You know what can happen to a family when that happens."

"Well son, it's never a good idea to base your life on someone else's. The problem was that your father got sex and love mixed up. He thought he loved that girl just because the sex was so good. I never had that problem."

"What? Do you mean you had a boyfriend, too? I can't believe it."

"There was never any reason to tell you before now. The truth is I had a boyfriend in high school I loved very much. Unfortunately, he got a girl pregnant and had to marry her. That's what we did in our day. I wound up marrying your father. In a few years my old boyfriend and I confirmed we still loved each other. We would see each other every so often. We never divorced because we both were committed to our marriages and family. People our age usually are more discreet than you youngsters are these days. Actually, we still see each other, just not very often."

"Mom, I can't believe you were a cheater. That just blows my mind."

"Honey, you have to deal with what life gives you. My boyfriend and I were in love. Your father was upset for a while, but then he got over it. He started looking for a girlfriend. His problem was that he didn't have the character to keep his marriage in the forefront. He thought he needed to marry the woman he enjoyed having sex with the most. I believe he regrets it now. He's been acting lately like he would like to come over sometimes and relive some of the times we shared."

"Before I came over here, I THOUGHTI was going nuts. Now I KNOW I have gone totally bonkers. I'm sorry, Mom, I have to leave."

"Are you sure? I just made some of the chocolate cake you like. Wouldn't you have a piece with some vanilla ice cream?"

Cody got recommendations for divorce lawyers. Only one could meet with him right away. He sat across the desk from the middle-aged attorney who spoke first. "Okay, tell me your story and what you want. Then I'll tell you what you'll likely get. Don't be surprised if it is less, a lot less, than what you think you deserve."

Cody told him his story and the perceived consensus that he should just accept being a cuckold. The lawyer said, "Actually, that's the best route for you from a financial standpoint. First thing you've got to understand is that her adultery means nothing as far as distribution of assets in a divorce. You would be filing under Irreconcilable Differences. She would get use of the house and child support until your daughter turns 18. Then she would get half the equity when the house sold. She would get alimony for 3-5 years plus household support. In addition, she would get half your assets including half of your business. In effect, you would be paying her to be with her lover while you are being impoverished, unless you sell your business. That's why you would be better off leaving things as they are. Find yourself a girlfriend if you need more sex. Otherwise, you will be paying me a lot of money to watch your assets get cut in half."

"I can't believe I don't have any better recourse."

"Well, I can't officially recommend this, but if you want to get some measure of satisfaction, sell your business, gather all the money you can, and disappear. Your future happiness would depend on how much money you can gather and how well you can disappear."

"But I've not done anything wrong that should force me to become a fugitive. My wife is cheating on me. She shouldn't be rewarded."

"Welcome to the world of divorce. This is where you find out that crime does pay. Think about it and let me know what you want to do. At least you can be thankful that this consultation is free. Next time, if there is a next time, it will be $200 an hour."

Cody didn't even answer as he left. Who could he talk to that would make sense? Then he thought, "Our preacher."

Knocking on the parsonage door, Cody was soon greeted by his pastor's wife. She invited him in and went and got her husband. "Cody. Good to see you. What brings you over tonight?"

"I . . . uh . . . need to talk to you . . . in private."

"Sure, come on into my library." The minister turned to his wife. "Can you see that we have some privacy for a while?"

"Of course, would you like for me to make some coffee?"

"That would be wonderful my dear."

Cody and his preacher sat across from each other at a small round table in the little library where his sermons were developed and counseling took place. The atmosphere of Christian love and forgiveness helped Cody feel relaxed. He was sure he had found a source of strength to help him deal with his problem.

"Reverend, my wife has been unfaithful to the oath of marriage she took in this very church. I thought she might try to deny it, but she thinks I should not have a problem with her having a boyfriend. My daughter and my own mother seem to agree with her. I had to talk to someone who could see my point of view, so that's why I'm here. Please help me."

"There, there Cody. You have come to the right place. Remember, Jesus is the answer to every question you have. You feel bad that your wife has sinned against you and God. You say you want to know what to do. The answer is right before you: what will God do because your wife broke her vow she made to Him as well as you? He will forgive her. That's what you have to do, too. Forgive her and treat her in such a way that she may not need the love of another. Love the sin out of her. That's probably the only way your marriage will ever survive. And you may have to forgive her more in the future. You know, 70 times 7. If you try to punish her and get even, you will only blacken your soul and will never feel good again. God has trouble forgiving people who don't forgive others. I have faith that you have the strength to forgive her. Does this sound helpful to you?"

Cody reflected for a moment and said, "Hell, no! I should have known that a preacher would never understand a situation like this. I'm getting out of here."

"Cody, I assure you that I know EXACTLY about your situation. You see, my wife here is not my first wife. She was a member of another congregation I was serving along with my wife. My current wife felt like she and I were destined by God to be together. I resisted at first, but I came to agree with her. We sinned together for almost a year before my wife found out. God forgave me, but my wife didn't. If my wife had forgiven me, I would not have lost my job and had to change denominations to become a minister again. So, I do understand."

Cody left in a hurry almost knocking the tray of coffee and condiments the preacher's wife was about to bring into the library. He headed to the only place left that made sense: the nearest bar.

The bartender was too busy to lend an ear, so Cody drank by himself for a while. Eventually, a woman of apparent loose morals and tight clothes came over. "Buy a lady a drink?"

"Yeah, tell her to come over." Cody smirked, not caring to be polite, much less nice.

"Well, fuck you too, asshole." She started to leave, and Cody grabbed her arm.

"I'm sorry. Tell you what. I'll buy you that drink and maybe some more if you agree to listen to my tale of woe."

"Now you're talking. A mojito, Joe, and put the right amount of liquor in it this time." Under her breath, she whispered, "Cheap bastard."

"So, what's your story, Mack? Cheating wife?"

"Actually, it's Cody. And is it that obvious?"

"My name is Buffy, like the vampire slayer. Except what I suck isn't blood."

Buffy continued, "Okay, Cody, it is obvious. The only difference between you and many other men I've met here is: 1) How did you find out? Came home early? Overheard a conversation? Late night out with the girls? 2) Your reaction: Give up and go along with it? Divorce her? Leave with all the money you can? 3) The final question is revenge or reconciliation. So, what's your variation on the story?"

Cody told her his story and his exasperation at the responses from his family and his minister. She was prepared for her critique of his situation after her second drink.

"I tell you what sweetie, you're a dinosaur. You're living in Ozzie and Harriet-, Leave it to Beaver-, and Father Knows Best - Land. You know, black and white days. Nothing is black and white now. Everything is gray, Fifty Shades of Gray as they say. Nuance is the word of the day. 'If it feels good, do it' is the current motto. Your response to all this should be simple: Do what YOU want to do. To hell with what your wife and others think. Did she think of you when she went after some strange? If someone doesn't what you decide to do, fuck'em. Now, the two drinks covers the cost of the advice. If you want to feel really good, that'll cost you $200 plus the hotel room."

Cody thought for a second, smiled, and said, "Believe me, I am truly tempted. I can't be with you without thinking I would be doing the same thing my wife is doing to me. I tell you what, after I divorce, assuming I do divorce, I will come here and look for you before I go on a date with anyone else." He handed her a $100 bill and said, "That's a down payment." He went to a hotel, but he was alone.

When Cody came home the next morning, Ashley was waiting for him. "Where the hell have you been? I was worried that something had happened to you."

"What the hell do you care? You've got another man's dick besides mine. Maybe I found another woman's pussy besides yours."

She was surprised at his reaction, but it quickly brought her anger back. "Ha! You'd have to pay some whore to get any pussy."

"I don't have any problem with that. Trading a slut for a whore. Not much difference. Actually, it makes more sense. At least a whore knows what she is."

The exchange was not going the way Ashley had anticipated. He was not acting as much as a wimp as she imagined. She decided to change tactics. Ashley's approach softened. "Cody, we've had a good marriage. You're the one I love and want to grow old with. Let's have a new start. When I get back a clean STD test, I'll give up seeing Amos so we can spend more time together. What do you say?"

"Let's see, give up a wife who sought out another man to have sex with and then did it; exchange her for a wife who sought out another man, had sex with him, but now promises to put on hold having another man until sometime in the future. Doesn't seem like a good deal to me."

"Cody, I'll promise not to do it again. Can we just forget this and move on?"

"Sorry, your promises to not have sex with other men doesn't seem to mean the same to me as to you."

Ashley's anger began to return, "What are you going to do? Divorce me and tear up our family?"

"Actually, you've already torn up our family only you don't think you have. You have been selfish and done what you wanted, regardless of my feelings. It's my time to be selfish. I haven't decided what to do. You might want to know that everyone I've talked to has advised against divorce."

"Well, that should tell you something. Look, I'm tired and have to go to work tomorrow. Can we just go to bed and talk again tomorrow?"

"I agree." Cody then headed for the door.

"Where are you going? I thought you were coming up to bed."

"I am going OUT to bed. I have a room at the Holiday Inn. I will be staying there until I figure out what I'm going to do."

"Good grief! Okay but you're just wasting your money when you have a bed for free here. At least, promise me you won't do anything silly without talking to me first."

"I promise." But under his breath he said, "I promise that what I decide won't be silly to me."

After reviewing his options presented by family and friends, he designed his own option: He would take the fugitive option without going on the run. It fit in with his perception that he had done nothing wrong.

It took him six weeks to arrange the main transaction he needed to. During this time, he kept Ashley hopeful of his return to the fold. She became harder and harder to pacify and demanded a meeting. Cody concluded he was ready.

"Cody, I've waited as long as I can. I would still prefer that you come back and assume your role as husband and father. If you can't, then I am prepared to file for divorce. You've got to decide now."

"Then I decide to do nothing. I will no longer live in the house since it is no longer my home. I will no longer be a husband or a father since my wife and daughter seem fine with the substitute you have chosen. I will no longer support the family that left me in every way: emotionally or financially. That's my decision."

"Well, fuck you! You don't want to make it work. I gave up seeing Amos. My lawyer . . . "

"Was that before or after getting back a positive STD test?"

"Damn, isn't anything private any more. Yes, the STD test was positive and I have been treated so I'm safe. Satisfied? As I was saying, my lawyer has the papers ready. You will be served tomorrow. I'm going after everything I can."

"Go for it." Cody smiled on the way to his new apartment.

The next morning, the process server called Ashley. "Your husband was not at work. In fact, they said that he had sold the business and no longer worked there. Can you tell me where he lives?"

Ashley thought, "Oh shit. He's done something to try and keep me from my half of his business." She called the business and got the information that all attempts to contact Cody had to go through his lawyer. Ashley called him. Cody's lawyer said that he had POA and could accept the divorce petition. Ashley asked what trick Cody was trying to pull. The attorney suggested she and her attorney meet with him and Cody as soon as possible after he had had a chance to review the petition. All would be laid out then. She was asked to invite Candice also, as the divorce would greatly affect her.

The meeting was quickly arranged. All parties sat across from each other at the oblong conference table. None looked happy. Ashley's lawyer spoke first. "This is simple: Mrs. Cartwright is entitled to half of everything plus spousal support and child support for a period of time. Of course, alimony will be expected for five years. All that is needed is a full disclosure of all assets, including the business. That should not have been a problem since the assets were frozen upon receipt of the serving of the divorce petition."