A Conversation Long Overdue

The knock on the front door surprised me for many reasons.

First, it sounded timid, unsure. Second, it wasn't even eight o'clock on a Sunday morning. And third, anyone I'd welcome already had a key to the condo.

Weird.

But it could be important, and I certainly didn't need any negative karma points this early in the day, so I opened the door. Gobsmacked doesn't come close to describing my reaction to the thin, pretty blonde woman standing on my stoop.

"Hello, James."

Maddy.

Beautiful, sparkly, vivacious Maddy.

My ex-wife Maddy.

I hated Maddy.

My heart rate spiked, but I battled for emotional control.

"Maddy. I didn't expect to see you ever again."

"I know. But we have to talk. We've needed to talk for a long time now."

"How did you find me?"

"I followed you from your mother's house. I remember that you usually go there on Monday evenings. It took me until now to find the courage to knock."

She smiled, but it was brittle. She seemed uncertain, which wasn't like her at all, but also determined, which most definitely was.

"Can I come in?"

"What do you want, Maddy?"

"Please, James. Give me five minutes, and then I'll go."

I sighed dramatically, which had always been about the limit of my resistance to Maddy's demands. I closed the door and followed her into the living area. She seemed flustered, unusually so, and I was in no mood to bail her out.

"What do you want?"

Maddy's big blue eyes were roving rapidly around the room, but there were very few clues. The condo was new, and bedrooms, bathrooms, kitchen, and office were the priorities, so personal effects were still in boxes. She looked pointedly at the sofa, but absent an invitation she chose to remain standing. She turned to face me.

"No offer of tea? Coffee?"

"You're not a guest, Maddy. Say what you've come to say."

"How are you, James? Really?"

I scoffed. "Why do you care?"

"I love you, James. I always have."

"And that's why you were you fucking Tom then?"

It was Maddy's turn to sigh. "You know why. He was the first guy I ever loved. He was my first lover. We have a very special connection."

"And you didn't think that you should have shared that information with me at some point before our wedding?"

"I didn't think I still had feelings for him. He'd gone into the Army. I hadn't seen or heard from him in 14 months. And I fell in love with you."

"And yet you banged him every time he came back to town. A few weeks before our wedding. And the whole three years we were married. Jesus, Maddy -- you never gave him up, even while you were pledging yourself to me."

That was all fact. My investigators had uncovered all the pertinent details in preparation for the divorce. At least she had the decency to look down at the floor.

"What do you want, Maddy?"

"I want my husband back. We need to be a family again."

"Ex-husband. And I'm not coming back. You torched our family, Maddy."

"I didn't want the divorce! You left us. And then you wouldn't talk to me. I've been trying to talk to you for two years."

"I have nothing to say to you, and you have nothing I want to hear. You wanted Tom. You're welcome to him."

"I wanted you! I just wanted him once in a while too."

"I don't play that game. You wouldn't choose, so I did."

Maddy's eyes got bright with tears at that. I don't claim to understand her, but the kind of relationship she wanted would have killed me had I agreed. It nearly did anyway.

"Your child needs you, James."

Blood rushed to my head. My ears pulsed and I could barely think. "Beth isn't mine. Tom knocked you up. That came out in the custody hearing. Remember that pleasant little ambush?"

"We thought you might work with us. So you could see Beth. I know you love her so much. But I'm not talking about Beth. We have a son. I named him Jimmy."

I didn't think the roaring in my head could get any louder, but it did. I'm not sure how I stayed upright, because I have no recollection of the next few minutes. My mind just went off somewhere to absorb this new blow. When it came back, I laughed bitterly.

"I've seen this show before, Maddy. 'We're having a baby. Oh, James, you're going to be the best dad ever!' Only it was Tom's baby, not mine."

"But it's true! I didn't know I was pregnant when you gave me the divorce papers. And when I missed my period I thought it was because of all the stress. And when I realized I was pregnant we had already signed off on everything, and Tom and I were planning for the future."

"So what part of your future plan brings you here today?"

"I'm here because I love you!"

"Bullshit. You don't treat people you love the way you treated me."

Her tears escaped and started rolling down her cheeks. They seemed sincere, but with Maddy you couldn't really be sure.

"Jimmy needs his father. And Beth misses you terribly. I do too."

"Beth wasn't even two when we split. She's been without me longer than she was with me. And you could have followed me home from Mom's any time since I moved out. What's really going on here, Maddy?"

She looked down again, and tears dropped from her long lashes.

"Tom left. A couple months ago. I don't know where he is, but he said he's not coming back. Ever."

"Why?"

Maddy hesitated. "He couldn't get past the fact that Jimmy was your son."

I couldn't help myself. I smiled evilly. "I guess you chose poorly then."

"Please, James! I'm begging you. I love you. The kids love you. We should be a family. We belong together. We do!"

"Who's listed as the father on Jimmy's birth certificate?"

Maddy sobbed, then strangled out a quiet, "Tom."

"Then it seems that you're looking for your husband in the wrong place."

"No! Please, James. I really do love you! You're the only husband I want. The only one I've ever wanted! I swear it!"

Maddy's face contorted in agony, and she was heaving as she cried, deep regret evident in her sobs. I fought to keep from reaching out to console her. She just looked lost, pitiable. Gone was the dynamo I fell in love with, replaced by this sad and desperate waif. I felt my heart start to break again, but for her pain and not mine.

I was saved by the sound of the key in the lock of the front door.

I turned in relief, a smile breaking across my face in anticipation. And sure enough, as day follows night, the door swung open to reveal a slim, dark-haired vision in yoga pants and puffy jacket, holding a bag of pastries and a cardboard tray with two lidded paper cups.

"You're home," I said, smiling widely.

Sally returned my smile with a dazzler of her own, but then she saw Maddy and looked at me, perplexed.

"Hon, this is Maddy."

Recognition dawned, and Sally's mouth set firmly, then curled into a cold smile, a smile that never reached her expressive dark eyes.

"Hello, Maddy. I've heard so much about you."

"Maddy," I said. "This is Sally. My wife."

I shouldn't have taken pleasure in Maddy's misery. Her eyes went wide, then scrunched into slits. She could only nod and rush past us, sobs wracking her body, leaving the door open as she fled. I closed it gently behind her.

"Are you okay, luv?" Sally asked me, looking deeply into my eyes and resting her hand lightly on my cheek.

"I'm a little rattled, to be honest. I thought I'd see her again someday, but I never imagined anything like this."

"What did she want?"

"To reconcile. Tom took off, and she claims I'm the father to her son."

"Oh, no, James! Can that be true?"

"I suppose so. When it was clear she wouldn't give up Tom I moved the divorce through quickly. We didn't have much, and I gave her whatever she wanted to get her to sign. It's possible that she was pregnant without knowing about it."

"What are you going to do if it's true?"

I took the tray and the bag from Sally and put them on the kitchen island. I unzipped her puffy jacket and hung it up in the hall closet, then put my arms around her. I kissed her, caressing her soft lips with mine.

"What WE are going to do is what we always do, my love: the right thing. You taught me that. If I'm the father to that boy then we'll work out with Maddy the best way to support him. But it will be within the bounds of our marriage. Yours and mine. I'll never go back to her."

She smiled and melted into me. Sally had been a rock for me following Maddy's betrayal. I'd been a basket case immediately afterwards, prickly, suspicious, lashing out at the slightest provocation, real or imagined. I worked with Sally, and I had known her as a friend for a few years. She accepted my wounds, and she showed me daily that I could trust her with any and all of my thoughts and feelings. She showed me that I was worthy, that I really could be loved. Building on Sally's kindness, her patience, and her resolute love in the face of my most destructive urges, together we crafted a passionate, rock-solid partnership. I loved this woman so very much.

"Besides," I said, running my hands over the baby bump that had been showing for a couple weeks now, "we have something of our own that's going to need our full attention soon."

Sally beamed another of her loving smiles at me.

"Speaking of which, your baby and its mother are very hungry. Where did you put my muffin and tea?"

We laughed and made our way together, arm in arm, to the kitchen.