Chapter 08: The Compromise Solution
Well, step one of the plan seemed like a flop.
It has been four weeks since the pool party, and I finally realized that what bothered David was 'control.' He is a secret control freak. He was disturbed that he was not controlling my sexual teasing. Now how can I use that to turn this relationship back to being one between two equals? David had so far come through this unscathed. I had not mentioned his affair, nor had I told him about any of the alternatives I had explored.
I had almost been reduced to considering divorce. I could see no way of turning things around. Still, I really hated the idea of breaking up the family. The fact is that we have a very functional family with the exception of the sexual side. Our sex is not romantic enough for me and obviously not exciting enough for David.
I was sitting in the sunroom thinking about my problem and idly leafing through the book "Undaunted Courage." It is the story of the Lewis and Clark expedition from the Mississippi to the West coast in 1801-1804. It seems a strange place to find the basis for my compromise plan, but there it was.
I glanced at the page, and then a few words seemed to stand out to me. When Lewis and Clark came upon Indian tribes they were surprised to find the wives offered to them. Right! Shocking isn't it? We thought we invented pass-around sex in the 1960's. Right? Well, not so. The white men possessed guns and manufactured items that astonished the Indians. The Indians offered their wives as a sign of hospitality. They also believed that somehow the white man's powers would be conveyed to them by having sex with the same woman.
I looked for more discussion of this practice. In another location in their journals they reported that the Indian males were sometimes offended if the white men turned down their offer. Probably they didn't get that many rejections, I'm thinking, so Lewis may have been referring to only one occasion!
However, the really interesting part of the story was that the women were also disappointed when this happened! Now, there is a story!
"That's it." I said aloud, my voice echoing off the tile surfaces of the sunroom. "That's it!" I repeated.
The book lay open on my lap and I stared out over the green lawn. Here was a compromise I thought had a chance of success. I had been trying to change David. It is never a good idea to have a plan predicated on convincing some other human being to change. Even your own ability to change is suspect, after all!
It took two days to think the plan through. But once I had it worked out in my mind, I could hardly wait to discuss it with David. I was ready to confront him with the problem and then to offer this compromise solution. I planned the evening as a romantic dinner with his favorite dinner, rack of lamb. I bundled the kids off to Mom for the night, and slipped into my simple black dress, pearls and heels. I had drinks ready when David arrived home.
"Wow, what's the occasion?" David eyed the candlelight table and my chic dress suspiciously.
"No occasion. I just thought it would we should have some time for a talk." I said, not meaning to sound ominous. I guess I failed.
"Talk? Uh .. something wrong?" he asked immediately, brow furrowed.
"Well, not something we can't get around." I handed him the glass. "Here's to us." I said. I couldn't really smile under the circumstances, but didn't frown either.
"Oh boy, that doesn't sound .." he decided not to go on. "Thanks. To us, then!"
"Come on, Charlotte, .. what is this? I recognize the symptoms. What is the problem?"
"Well, I do have a little problem." I began. Sit down. Let me just finish dinner and bring it in. OK?"
"No, I think I'll stand, thanks."
We carried the plates into the dining room, our shadows looming large on the formal wallpaper and ceiling.
"My problem is, .. you, David, my dear David, .. you."
David looked crestfallen. He must have suspected that I had caught him. He looked guilty, hurt, concerned, all in one sad expression. I almost felt sorry for him. He must feel similar to how I felt watching him boinking Joyce in the back yard.
"I was awake, David."
"What?" he said, bravely.
"Nine weeks ago tomorrow night, I watched my own dear husband fucking my neighbor Joyce under my bedroom window. That's the problem." I was trying to keep the emotion out of my voice. The passage of the past nine weeks helped a little, but the gnawing emptiness had returned to my stomach.
".. what .. what are you saying? Must have been … someone ..else" he stammered.
I said nothing more.
".. Look, Charly, I .. I don't know what you .. are talking about." He tried hard to maintain a look of innocence, but it was starting to slip.
I just stared at him. A tear slipped down my cheek and I rubbed it away.
" .. someone else? Must have.. you don't really think I .." he stumbled on. His brow broke out in sweat now.
"No, David, we both know it's true. I've spent the last nine weeks with the sight of Joyce, legs around your waist, slipping up and down your cock. … I was so devastated, I can't tell you. I can't tell you how it, .. even now, hurts."
David's eyes teared. He realized that there was no way to make it different.
".. it'll never happen again. .. Don't know .. how .. uh .. what came over me. I am sorry, .. Charly .. It's the only .. time, Charly."
"What do you want, David? A divorce? Want to end it?"
"NO!" he couldn't seem to say anything further. "NO! Charly, never. God, the kids … NO! Can't you.. give me another .. uh chance.. I promise. It was an accident, Charly. Doesn't mean any .. thing! Surely you know that! .. you don't' want that, do you? Please, Charly, please, don't say that."
"No, I didn't think you did, not really. You were a fool, David. How do you think things can ever go back together. It's the ultimate betrayal. Don't you know that?"
"Yeah, .. but Charly .. we have so much .. together .. I love YOU. Give me a chance to prove it"
"I've thought about it, David. I've spent sleepless nights trying to think of a way we can ever be equal partners again. I've even tried some of the fantasies you have suggested, .. you know, trying to find out what I was missing?"
"What do you mean, you tried what?" he looked startled.
"Well, you wanted me to consider joining a swap club, for example. So .. I went to one."
"You're .. kidding!" Now he looked like I had hit him with a bucked of ice water. He sat staring, wide-eyed. "I was .. kidding .. kidding about that! Never meant to do it. Not really!"
"Well, I tried it. And, to be fair, I admit I found it very erotic. In some ways it might be appealing. But in the end, you know I couldn't actually live like that. It is too blatant, too .. I don't know. Anyway, not for me. Not for us."
"So I have come up with a compromise plan to see if you want to change things."
"I will definitely change, Charly, I will!"
"Well, I'd like to think so, David, but we both know that is .. well, not likely, is it? Anyway, it is not a good enough bet for me."
"Wait a minute! Let's go back to that swap club. Did you …. Did you .."
"Have sex? Well, I don't think you have the right to ask, do you?" I said.
"Well, you can't .." he stopped there, feeling beaten before he got the words out.
"Here's what I think, David. I think we have a pretty good thing going with this family. We don't have an equal partner thing going, sexually, I mean. Both are important."
"Of course we have .." again he decided to stop and wait to see where I was going.
"I mean, you really want to live a little on the wild side of sex. And I have been more conservative. I'm sorry that you weren't satisfied, but we just have to face it. I, on the other hand have missed the more romantic, soft caressing side of sex, all the foreplay and romance, right?"
".. aw, Charly, we have good …"
"No, David, no, let's be honest now. This is a time for honesty. OK? Listen, I do have an idea. Just think about it. I can't live if we don't get back to being equal, you know that. As long as you have had this affair, and perhaps others, perhaps more to come in the future. I would always be feeling I was just being used. Don't you see?"
"No, Charly, no …" I held my hand up and went on.
"Well, I have to allow for that possibility, David. Be fair. So, I have thought of a whole range of possibilities. The other day I read that Lewis and Clark .."
"Wait. What? Lewis and Clark?"
"Yes, dear. They were offered the wives of Indian chiefs for bed partners while they were visiting. The chiefs thought they would get some of the visitors' powers by sharing the same woman. When the explorers declined, the wives actually felt insulted and disappointed. They LIKED IT!"
"Lewis and Clark? You were reading .. and you .. What?" He couldn't believe his ears.
"Yes, that's right. That's my compromise. You have a lot of visitors from overseas. I like some of them, very much. They seem to like me, too. I find them sexually attractive. So, I want you to give me to them, .. when they visit."
David looked at me as if he thought he was dreaming. He got up and took my glass and returned with a second drink. He stared off into the corner of the ceiling.
"What?" he said, slumping unhappily in his chair. Are you nuts?"
"I don't think so. You had Joyce. You thought that was pretty much OK. But, I don't want to sneak around in the back yard." I realized that I was punching a little low, but he doesn't deserve the Arch Bishop of Queensbury rules, or whatever that is.
"Charlotte, I can't believe you are really suggesting what you are suggesting. How can you even suggest such a thing?" David's eyes were wide with astonishment.
"Well, we both get what we want. We both deserve what we can get out of life. I will get my romancing a time or two a month. The rest of the time we spend just as we do now. We both get what we want and need. What do you think? David, I don't blame you for wanting what you want, I really do understand. You should understand that I really crave the old fashioned loving and foreplay and, yes, good sex too. I think I can have that with men who are here from time to time, but far enough away to not cause trouble between us. I want you to be a part of it, so that we are not sneaking around."
"I don't fucking believe what I am hearing!"
"Think about it, David.
"How the hell could that possibly work. For Christ sake!"
"Is it any less sensible than what some goddam lawyer is going to suggest? Or some nutcase marriage counselor?"
"Charlotte, you're serious, .. aren't you?" he looked long and hard at me. He was struggling for another way out. Perhaps he thought it was a trick.
"I'm willing to try it out. It is possible, just possible, that it could work." I assured him that I had thoroughly thought it through.
