Your Heart's Desire

Anne saw her former professor at the local Whole Foods store. The teacher was in her mid-30's, wearing skinny jeans, a tshirt, and a scarf. She had the look of a typical San Francisco hipster.

"Professor Hamilton! What a surprise!"

The two women smiled and gave each other a hug.

"It's great seeing you Anne," the professor replied happily. "But please, call me Patricia. You're no longer a student of mine and we aren't in a classroom, so we can do away with the formalities."

"Gosh, this is so weird. I haven't seen you in months, and now we're calling each other by our first names. You look cute in that outfit by the way," Anne noted.

"Thanks. This is how I look when I'm not on campus. The Dean is pretty up tight when it comes to dressing professionally."

"Figures," she replied. "If you dressed like this on campus, I would have sworn you were a student. You definitely look the part."

Patricia laughed. "Well thank you Anne. I'll take that as a compliment. So what have you been up to lately? I hear you're going for a master's degree."

"Yep. I'm working towards a masters degree on Women & Gender studies. Then after that I'm thinking about going to law school. I want to do something that really helps women and puts a stamp on society."

"Smart girl. You've always struck me as being an ambitious person. I really like that."

Anne smiled, "Thanks. My mom always says the same thing about me. It's hard work, but it's worth it in the end."

"I agree," Patricia replied. "So how is your thesis coming along? Have you started one already?"

"I have, and it's a real pain in the ass."

"I've been with this department a few years now and I always see women struggling with their thesis, but all they really need is to be pointed in the right direction. You're a bright girl. I know you'll do great."

Anne nodded. "You're right about people needing to be pointed in the right direction. There's so many pages I'm expected to write and so much stuff to cover. It's extremely daunting to be honest."

"What are you writing about anyway?" the professor inquired. "Have you started doing research?"

"It's kind of hard to explain because I haven't narrowed down a specific topic, but I'm writing about the female body and its role in society. You know, the sexual objectification of women, and how modern women are being shaped by those gender roles. It's mainly inspired by

The Feminist Body In Today's World

, by Valencia Mayorga Gonzalez."

"Valencia Gonzalez?" Patricia said with an eyebrow raised. "She used to be my professor when I was in college. She's an exquisite human being and a wonderful person. I love her."

Anne's eyes widened. "You're kidding? She's my favorite author. I have a few of her books and I've already ordered her entire collection online. Her writings really speak to me as a young woman."

"It did the same for me. If you're interested, we could grab a cup of coffee sometime and I could give you a few pointers for your thesis. I could literally talk about her books for days and not get tired of it."

"That would be so awesome. How should we stay in touch?"

Patricia held out her hand. "Give me your phone. I'll type in my number and contact information and we could get together sometime soon."

*** THE FEMINIST BODY ***

Two days had passed and Anne was headed to Patricia's apartment in downtown San Francisco. They had talked on the phone and agreed it was best to work someplace where they could have absolute privacy given the nature of their upcoming conversation.

"I'm so glad you made it. Did you have a hard time finding this place?" Patricia asked as she opened the door.

"Not at all. Beautiful apartment by the way. It's really stylish and chic. It suits you perfectly."

"Thanks. I've always been a collector of antique artwork and classic novels. So naturally my apartment is going to have a certain look to it with all of the shit that I constantly buy."

Anne continued looking around the apartment and admired it. "Seriously, you could be a designer or something as a side job. If I had the money, I'd pay you to do my place."

"That's sweet of you to say. And I see you've brought a bunch of books with you," Patricia said, looking at the pile of books the student was carrying. "You're arms must be hurting."

"God yeah," she said, putting them down on the table. "I wasn't sure if you had any of these books, so I brought them all with me to make sure. I always like being prepared."

The professor smiled, "That's why you're an A student. Come take a look at this. I want to show you something."

The two women looked at the large bookshelf in Patricia's living room, and she showed her former student a collection of books written by the popular feminist author, Valencia Garcia. Some of them were signed, and there was a picture of Patricia and Valencia together on a picture frame.

"Oh my," Anne gasped. "You weren't kidding when you said you knew Valencia. It looks like you two were pretty good friends."

"We were pretty close back then," Patricia say in a coy tone.

"That's so cool. How well did you get to know her?"

Patricia paused and winked. "We were lovers for a brief period."

"You mean you...and Valencia....were..."

"I'm a lesbian, and so is she. Does that surprise you?"

"It does kind of," Anne replied. "I mean, it doesn't bother me and I'm not judging, but you two seem so..."

"We seem straight right?" Patricia smiled. "Not all lesbians are butch and wear leather jackets. I consider myself to be as normal as the next woman, but I'm attracted to other women, and I see men only as friends."

"I didn't mean to imply that all lesbians were butch. You just caught me off guard, that's all."

"I didn't mean to sound condescending to you either. The truth is, if I go to a gay club, most of the lesbians there think I'm straight. I guess I don't give off lesbian vibes, which actually makes it harder for me to date because only men ask me out."

Anne laughed. "Yeah, I'm sure. You have no idea how many male students talk about how sexy you are. I heard it all the time on the way to your class. If they only knew..."

"Exactly. But enough about me. We're here to discuss your thesis aren't we? Have you thought about a general direction for your paper?"

Anne grabbed her notebook and opened it. "I made a flowchart of potential topics I'd like to cover depending on how I choose to focus my thesis. Do you have any thoughts on this?"

"Hmm..." the professor said while studying the chart. "Personally, I would chose to focus on the feminist body image and its sexual objectification. I think you're on the right track. If you're using Valencia's books as a reference point, then this topic will give you the most issues to analyze."

"You're right. She has a great way of discussing body image and sexualization. I'm sure you must have good insight into that," Anne said before realizing she put her foot in her mouth. "Oh...sorry. I didn't mean it like that.

"It's perfectly alright. Being a lesbian isn't something I openly tell people, but I wanted to let you know because I think it would help your work. When Valencia talks about her sexual experiences in life, most people assume that she's talking about men, when in fact she's talking about women. Sometimes I wonder if any of the things she writes about are inspired by me."

"That sounds so romantic," Anne noted. "I wouldn't be surprised if some of her writings were inspired by you. Valencia is pretty frank about her sexual history and exploits. Her honesty and soul bearing is what I enjoy most about her work."

"Exactly. I think most women can relate to her on a personal level for that reason. I don't mean to be rude, but have you had a lot of sexual experience in your life? Is that what drew you to write about this topic?"

Anne blushed, "I'm about average for my age. I'm definitely not as experienced as Valencia, but I guess that's why I'm so drawn to it. I feel like I can experience new things vicariously through her."

"I think that's one of the difficulties you're having," Patricia said, in teaching mode. "It can sometimes be difficult to write about things you've never personally experienced."

"Yeah, but I don't think I'm going to go out and sleep with a bunch of people in order to finish this."

The professor flashed a stern teacher's

look

. "You know that's not what I meant. Here, let me show you something Valencia taught me when I was her student. We were lovers at the time, so this may seem a little unorthodox to you."

Patricia led the student to the living room window overlooking the busy San Francisco street. Anne stood directly in front of the window, and Patricia stood right behind her as they looked down at the populated area a few floors down.

"How do you feel?" the professor asked.

"Like I'm watching the world go by."

Patricia pulled Anne's hair back and caressed her shoulders and neck. Her hands moved down and lifted the student's tshirt, revealing her stomach.

"Now how do you feel."

"Exposed."

Patricia lifted the shirt higher until the student's bra was exposed. She pulled the bottom cups off and the small breasts were shining under direct sunlight. Anybody walking on the crowded street could have easily looked up and seen her bare chest.

"And now?" she asked.

"Even more exposed," Anne replied.

"Do you feel objectified? Or do you feel empowered? As a feminist, do you think it's wrong that showing your womanly parts like this would get you in trouble?"

Patricia started caressing the small breasts in her hands and massaged them. The room was silent and she used her fingers to lightly pinch the delicate pink nipples.

"I'm sorry," Anne said as she turned around and pulled her top down. "I can't do this. I really have to go now."

A startled look came over Patricia's face. "I hope you aren't offended. I

wasn't

trying to humiliate you in any way."

"Don't worry about it. Thanks for the lecture professor. I need to go."

With that said, she quickly grabbed her notebook and left the apartment, almost running out of there.

*** CURIOSITY ***

Anne stared at her phone when she was supposed to be studying that night. For the rest of that day, all she thought about was how her former professor groped and exposed her in front of all those unsuspecting people. She couldn't tell if she loved it or hated it. Her mind and her morals told her to hate it. But her heart and her vagina told her she loved it.

Without any more thought, she grabbed her phone and called the professor:

"Hello," the teacher answered.

"Hey, it's me."

"It's nice to hear from you Anne. I've been meaning to call you, but I wanted things to cool down first. Plus you forgot your books and I need to give them back."

"I haven't forgotten those," she replied. "I'm sorry for storming out like that. It's just..."

"You don't have to be sorry for anything," Patricia immediately stated. "I'm the one who should be sorry. That was extremely inappropriate on my part and I was just trying to teach you the way I had been taught."

"I understand. It's just that...I'm not gay. I didn't want you to think I was. So I was kind of freaked out a little."

"That's completely understandable. Like I said, it was my fault entirely. Honestly, that's never happened before in my professional career as a professor, so I don't want you thinking that I prey on my students in any way."

"Gosh no Professor Hamilton. I never got that impression at all. You've always been one of the best teachers I've ever had."

"I thought I told you to call me Patricia?" she said playfully. "And thank you for the nice compliment. You've always been one of my favorite students as well. I really like you and I hope we can continue working together if you're still interested."

"I'm glad you still want to help me with my thesis. I was kind of lost, and this evening everything clicked after the advice you gave me and things are looking a lot better. So let's just forget about what happened earlier. We were both caught up in the moment. Can I meet you at your place the same time tomorrow?" Anne asked.

"This is going to sound a bit weird in light of everything, but with finals coming and the afternoon classes I have to teach, the only time I'll be available is in the evening."

"Well, then evening it is."

*** MORE COMMON THAN YOU THINK ***

She arrived at 6pm sharp. The professor greeted her at the door barefoot, wearing only her work pants and a tank top. It was obvious that Patricia had just gotten back from campus as her makeup and hair were still done nicely.

They hugged and it was as if nothing was out of the ordinary between them.

An hour had passed and they ate dinner while discussing details of the thesis. They felt like best friends rather than having a normal teacher/student relationship.

"I think we've just made the perfect outline," Anne said happily. "Seriously, this feels right. It's like a huge sigh of relief from all the anxiety I've been feeling lately."

"Like I said a few days ago, students just need to be guided in the right direction. You're a smart girl. All I did was push you to where you needed to go."

"You're the best Professor Hamilton. I mean, Patricia."

She smiled, "I like us better as friends. It's more casual that way."

"You're right. And I want to apologize again for storming out of here yesterday. I thought about it and I slowly understood the point you were trying to get across."

"How so?" Patricia asked with an eyebrow raised.

"You had me thinking with a new perspective on women's sexuality and how we're expected to behave. I must have written several pages that night based on everything I felt. I learned a lot from it."

"It was mutually beneficial."

"Are you attracted to me?" Anne blurted out.

"Yes," the professor replied without hesitation.

"Have you always been?"

Patricia paused and thought about how much she wanted to reveal. "To be perfectly candid, I thought you were a very attractive young woman when I first saw you. I know I shouldn't be telling you this, but you asked, and I want us to be honest with each other."

"Oh...well that's nice to hear," she replied, unsure of what to say.

"And you? Are you attracted to me?"

"I...I'm not gay."

The professor smiled, "By my count, that's the second time you've told me that you're

not

a lesbian. I get it. But there's no shame in a person having same-gender thoughts. It's a lot more common than you think, and studies have proven that."

"Fine, I think you're pretty hot. I've always thought of you as an attractive lady."

"Are you curious in any way?"

"About what?"

"About a woman's touch," Patricia replied. "Have you fantasized about being touched by a woman before. Was I the first woman who's ever touched your body? You don't have to answer that if you don't want to, but you've peaked my interest."

Anne took a deep breath. "I've never had my sexual parts touched by a woman before except for a doctor, but I've sort of fantasized about it. You know, women I see in the locker room, famous women I admire, that sort of thing. So yeah, you're basically my first."

"I like that," Patricia smiled. "The first time is always memorable."

"You know, since we're on the topic of my thesis, and on body image and sexuality, maybe we should, you know, I wouldn't mind doing that thing, since we're talking about it already, you know, that thing from yesterday..."

"That was easily the most incoherent thing a college student has ever said to me."

Anne took another deep breath and got to the point. "Can we continue the lecture we had yesterday? It was thought provoking and a new experience for me."

Patricia raised an eyebrow, "I'm not sure that's a good idea anymore. I sincerely want to help you with your paper, but I don't want to risk ruining the relationship we have."

"I'm serious. I've given it a lot of thought. I know I overreacted yesterday, but I want to give it another try because I trust you."

"Take off your top."

"Now?"

"Yes, now."

"All of it?" Anne asked.

"Yes, all of it. I need to know how serious you are."

Anne calmly stood up as Patricia watched her, and she began to remove her t shirt. She stood in only a white bra, and she reached behind herself to unclasp it to put on the table. Her pink nipples instantly became hard and she was aroused.

"You're a very pretty girl," Patricia noted. "Now take off the rest. You don't have anything to worry about. You're safe with me."

After another deep breath, she began to undo her jeans and took them off so that she was standing barefoot in her panties. Another deep breath was exerted, and she reached down to take off her panties, exposing her cleanly shaven crotch and vagina.

"What now?" Anne asked.

"Stand in front of the window again. I want you to look down at the busy street and see if anyone notices you."

Anne walked over to the window and looked down at the street. People were going about their everyday lives, completely oblivious to the naked college student at the upstairs apartment window.

"No one is looking at me."

"Do you wish they were?" Patricia asked. "Would you feel ashamed of yourself if someone down there was watching? Do you think this is wrong for you to be doing?"

"I don't know," Anne said faintly.

"What do you feel?"

"I feel like touching myself."

"You're a grown woman Anne. You can do what you want and I'm not going to stop you."

Anne brought her fingers to her vagina and she closed her eyes. Her clit was swollen and was begging to be touched. The tip of her index finger satisfied her needs, but only temporary. She used her other fingers to rub her clit harder before entering the inside of her womanhood.

At that point, she didn't care who was watching. She didn't care that her former professor was behind her staring at her naked backside as she masturbated. She didn't care that people on the street could just look up to see a college girl lewdly pleasuring herself for the world to see. All she cared about was her own sexual gratification.

A pair of nipples and breasts touched her back. Hands touched her arms. Anne quickly turned around to see a beautiful nude woman standing before her.

"Professor Hamilton," she gasped.

"Call me Patricia."

The professor held her former student and they kissed softly on the lips. It was gentle and sweet, and everything they both imagined it would feel like. It started off as a simple touch on the lips, but soon escalated to their tongues touching and rubbing against each other. They felt each other's nipples harden with arousal.

For Anne, she felt like a virgin again, experiencing something new. For Patricia, it was yet another fantasy being fulfilled.

"Are you comfortable doing this?" Patricia asked. "If this is too much, just let me know and we can get dressed."

"I don't want to get dressed. I like the way this feels."

She smiled, "Follow me. We're going to my bedroom."

Patricia held the student's hand and they proceed to the bedroom, naked.

Once there, Anne was told to lay on her back, which she nervously did. The professor climbed on top of her and they continued their make out session. It was unlike anything either of them had felt before. It was new and refreshing. Above all else, it was exciting.

Patricia started kissing the student's face, then moved down to her neck, then to her breasts where she sucked on each of the hard pink nipples. Anne moaned at that point. The kisses moved downward to her belly, then to her crotch.

"Just relax," the professor said. "I want you to enjoy this."

Anne spread both of her legs. She knew what was coming and tried to stay calm. Her former teacher planted kisses all over her labia and it felt magical. She felt a female tongue licking her clit, and it was better than what any man could ever give her. She felt herself being orally pleasured in ways she could never imagine. Her hands tightly squeezed the bed sheet and she started making noises with her mouth that she had never made before during a sexual interaction.