(Author's note: This story can best be described as 'eclectic'. Although this is a lesbian story, there are many types of sexual situations. You will find everything from romance to bondage here. Also, the plot deals with serious issues such as self-mutilation and an abused childhood.)
- - - - - - - - - -
The room was deprived of sunlight, but the little brunette girl hardly noticed. She was too busy focusing on her current dilemma; which color the sky in her picture should be. She wished to capture the moment, but she didn't know what time of day it was outside. There was a window not far from where she was sitting, but it was so filthy that it served as little more than a glass barrier to the world outside. Although the door was not locked, the girl knew that she wasn't allowed to open it; even just to look out. She knew better than to question the rules.
As the girl picked up a nice, bright blue pencil, she felt the slight rumble of the ground as the truck pulled up outside. She flinched at the unceremonious slam of the truck door, letting her know that he was home. The time it took for him to walk from the truck to the door seemed like an eternity. She could hear the screams of the stars falling from the sky. The door opened and a blinding, blood-red light poured into the room. The force of it knocked her back and her head hit the floor. Though she tried to move her arms, her efforts were useless. She knew that the best thing that she could do was lie there and take it; not make trouble.
"Baby...daddy's here."
A towering shadow enveloped the little girl's tiny figure on the floor. The reflection of the bleeding sky disappeared as he shut the door behind him. A single tear fell from her eye because she knew that this was what she wanted, despite what her feelings inside told her. It's what he said, and she believed it.
"Estelle! Estelle, wake up!" Amelia's voice became faintly recognizable as the shadow quickly shrank into the imaginary horizon. Estelle's body jolted involuntarily and her blue eyes snapped open with fear. Her long brunette hair, normally perfectly wavy, was tangled and clinging to her face.
"He's here...ohgodohgodheshere..." she whispered frantically.
"It's alright, he's gone now. It was just a dream," Amelia tried to reassure her.
The sound of Amelia's voice seemed to bring Estelle back to her senses. She looked around skittishly for a moment before realizing that Amelia was next to her. Once she caught sight of Amelia's consoling emerald eyes and familiar shoulder-length red hair, she realized it had all been just a dream. Still shaken, but aware that she was now safe, Estelle slumped over into her lover's arms and cried. Amelia just cradled her girlfriend's head and tried her best to soothe her with quiet words of comfort. It wasn't long before Estelle fell back to sleep.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Sophia took a noisy sip from the can of soda and waited patiently for the chime of the instant message to sound. Her jet-black hair swayed as she nodded her head in time with the pulse of the techno music. Sophia's right hand tapped the black skirt on her knee to emphasize the rhythm. She stared at the faint reflection of her youthful, pale face on the monitor and wondered; if it was true that mirrors do not lie, could the same be said for any reflective surface? Her vivid, brown eyes were barely even noticeable in the reflection. After a bit, she heard the familiar ring overlap the beat coming from the speakers.
Yoni136: So then she took me to this all-girl dungeon on Aspen street. I'd never heard of it before, and apparently you can only get in by invitation-only.
Sophia sat up and began fluttering her fingers on the keyboard to type a response.
Masoch-grrl: that sounds fun!
Yoni136: It was...interesting. Leather's never really been my thing. Of course, I didn't mind seeing other women wearing it. There was this really hot couple...one had her wrists and ankles tied to a giant "X", while the other was flogging her. But Cindy tried to convince me to go up there with her. Yeah right! Although she did do one good thing for me -- she introduced me to tantric sex.
Sophia stared at the screen, puzzled.
Masoch-grrl: Isn't that for the heteros?
Yoni136: I used to think that, too. But something as harmonious as sacred sex can't be confined to a single sexual preference. It literally changed my life, as corny as that sounds.
Masoch-grrl: Wow, how did it do that?
Yoni136: In short, it taught me to treat my body as a temple. See, I wasn't always so new-agey. In fact, I pretty much hated myself when I was younger. You might say that I did things to myself that were stupid.
Masoch-grrl: What kinds of things? If it's alright me asking.
Yoni136: Yeah, it's cool. I'm not afraid to talk about it any more. I used to get so angry and frustrated with everything that I would take a razorblade and cut my arms up.
Sophia's fingers paused as she considered what to say next. She realized that this was a bold confession for someone to make to a girl that she barely knew. More importantly, it opened a door to a kind of friendship that wasn't often available on this level.
Masoch-grrl: I know what that's like -- I've done it, too; back in high school. Everyone thought I was suicidal cos they would see the cuts on my arms. Everyone except my friends, and that's only cos some of them were doing it, too.
Yoni136: Really? Well, at least you had friends. Hell, people didn't even CARE if I killed myself.
Masoch-grrl: Wow. I'm sorry to hear that.
Yoni136: Meh, it's all in the past now. Ancient history. Funny us meeting up like this, though; both having been cutters. Still, there are more of us out there than you think.
Masoch-grrl: Yeah. Well I don't do it anymore, but honestly sometimes the urges come back.
Yoni136: Maybe you should try Tantra...
Masoch-grrl: Well, I wouldn't really know where to start...how to go about finding information...
Yoni136: It's called the internet, silly. Your profile says that you're an aspiring author, so you should be used to doing research on specific subjects, right?
Masoch-grrl: Right.
Yoni136: K then., Gotta go to work now. It was nice chatting with you. Bye!
Sophia gave those last words time to sink in as she stared at the computer screen, not bothering to sign off. She paid special attention to the message about being an author. In the past, she had found that one of the best ways to research a subject was to write about her findings. Perhaps this Yoni chick was onto something...
The distinct sound of knuckles tapping on the wood frame of her door caused Sophia to turn around and see a familiar figure standing in her bedroom doorway. Raquel offered a warm smile, but waited for Sophia to speak first.
"Hey," Sophia said on cue, "What's up?"
"I'm just heading to the store," Raquel responded. "Gotta pick up a few boring but necessary items. Would you like me to get you up anything? Soda? A replacement stash of that chocolate that you went through in one night last week?"
"No, I don't think I'll be needing chocolate like that anytime soon," Sophia said cheerily. After taking time to think about it, however, she said, "On second though, better get an emergency supply, just in case."
Raquel laughed and changed the subject. "By the way, Trevor called again." She paused for a moment to gauge the look on Sophia's face. "Aren't you going to talk to him?"
