Women Love Me and I Love Back
She pressed her lips against mine one last time and then exited the bathroom. I had never had something like this happen to me. I didn't know at the time, that it would not be the last.
Another Friday night on campus meant another bar crawl hoping to meet up with friends and quarter beers. It was shitty beer but it was cheap and I'd chug to get buzzed ASAP! My boyfriend and our friends were usually getting smashed by 4:30 in the afternoon.
"Helen! Helen!" I heard from a corner of Ron's Tavern. There was Stacey on her boyfriend's shoulders. Chuck was a mountain and Stacey climbed him like a monkey. We pushed through the crowd and when we met them, they had a round of tequila shots ready for us. We drank, we danced and had a great time. Stacey and I had always been the crazier girls in the group. Often, we'd lead everyone to dance. But the guys were always too cool. It was always us girls dancing together. At times, other guys would join us or try. We'd shoo them away. Usually, when the tequila kicked in, Stacey and I would get really sexual and grind on each other, giving each other booty slaps. The guys would take that as a sign that we were DTF. Off we'd go back to our respective dorms to get the usual college guy drunk sex; their penises jammed in our mouths and then getting pounded for far too long because of their numb dicks.
I didn't know any better at the time, so I enjoyed it? On our next Friday night out, Stacey shocked me.
There was a Greek fundraiser where we had to wear "Country" clothing. I was known for my heart shaped ass and tight abs. I had my cowboy boots and Daisy Dukes. The round bottom part of my ass hung out daring to be pinched. I had a white sports bra under my flannel shirt, which I kept unbuttoned. You could easily see my perky nipples. I made sure everyone could see them. Stacey looked like my twin, except her breasts were busting up out of her blue denim shirt. It as so tight that the material between buttons gaped. She wasn't wearing a bra. He denim jeans were too tight for my taste and she kept yanking the inseam out of her crotch.
At the frat, the guys played drinking games, the girls danced and fetched more drinks. As the night progressed the lights got dimmer and those that weren't paired up found their matches. Because of my tight shorts, I found myself visiting the bathroom almost hourly. Stacey accompanied me on every trip.
It must have been around Midnight and as we touched up our make-up, she slapped my ass, pinched my butt, "Helen, you look so hot. That ass, girl!"
"Stacey, c'mon, you and your tits are all anyone sees." I reached out and gave one of her boobs a squeeze. Stacey responded by pinning me to the back of the bathroom door and pressed her lips to mine. Out of shock, I tried to say something. It sounded like, "Umph". But that allowed Stacey to jut her tongue in my mouth. I felt hand reach up under my shorts and squeeze my cheek. Her right hand searched and found my erect nipple and pinched it. I didn't know what to do with my hands. I think they were just out at my sides out of shock. But I did start kissing her back. We were interrupted by someone knocking on the door. Stacy pulled away and said, "I'm...I'm sorry." She then pushed me aside and left the bathroom. A guy came in and then stared at me. I pushed him aside and exited.
Stacey waited in the hallway and I walked past her. I didn't know what to say. Part of me was still in shock, part of me was embarrassed and part of me was wet. After that, we never really hung out together. There was always an excuse and either Stacey or myself would miss the get together. Not long after she broke up with Chuck. He took up most of my boyfriend's time asking him to be wingman. I didn't care. I occasionally thought of that night. But I was drunk and it was a blur.
When the semester ended and we were moving out, I received a letter from Stacey. She apologized repeatedly and asked me not to hate her. She stated that she had been developing a crush on me all semester and couldn't help herself anymore. She ended the letter stating that the event led to her finally realizing she's a lesbian. That explained her break up with Chuck. I really didn't know what to think. I kept replaying that night in my head; at least what I could remember. The more I thought of the kiss and feeling her hands on my body, the more wet I became. I finished packing and went to bed. As I fell asleep, I wondered what it would be like to have sex with a woman.
7 years later, I was married and had a child. My marriage was satisfying? My husband had been a wonderful man but we did get married too soon because I got pregnant. We were happy and didn't see why we shouldn't tie the knot. My son was everything I wanted. He was the cutest 3-year-old in the world. But my husband had developed a habit. His job was in financial services and his habit was chasing the next big deal. He often worked long hours and when he was at home, he was on the phone or laptop constantly. I worked in a dental office. I was one of the clerical staff helping with their web design and managing their social media. The staff of dentists included a very handsome, mature man of 48, Dr. Sinclair. His wife, Julie, was one of the dental hygienists. He was a very nice man and showered the staff with free lunches and often offered tickets to concerts and sporting events free of charge. Julie was a sweetheart and kept the mood at work light and fun. My husband was always trying to get me to pitch deals to the dental practice. I refused. One Valentine's Day, my husband called from the office. There was a huge deal in the works and he and the rest of the office booked rooms at a hotel downtown. They had to have an all-night business meeting. "Are you fucking kidding me? This is bullshit!" I shouted into the phone.
"Helen, listen to me. These investors are in Japan and Taiwan. We have to meet on their time. This deal could set us up for life!" I sat and thought about it.
"OK. OK. I don't know," I let out a sigh. "I'll trust you on this. But if anything funny is going on, you're gonna have hell to pay." I hung up. A few days later I found photos on IG posted by his co-workers. They were all at a strip club getting lap dances. Others in the firm posted, "After party", pics at the hotel. I didn't see him in any of the photos but if they were all at the club, and partying in the hotel, where was he? I was devastated. I confronted him. I showed him the posts. He denied everything. I asked about the deal. He said it fell through. I threw him out of the house.
For the next week, I just moped. The only light was my son. But at work people can see I was not myself.
Julie pulled me aside. "Helen, are you OK?"
"I'm fine. I'm just a little tired. I'm...". I had tears welling up and rushed to the bathroom, found a stall and locked myself in. I heard the bathroom door open and I saw Julie's shoes outside the stall.
"Helen, lets talk. Take the afternoon off. I'll call you later, OK?"
"Thanks Julie," I replied.
I picked up my son from the sitter and headed home. I played with him and got dinner ready. The phone rang and it was Julie, "Hi. I'm sorry if I'm being nosey, Helen, but we can all tell something is different with you. Can we talk?"
I sighed deeply, "I'm sorry, Julie. Work is fine it really is. I hate that people are worried. Did I fuck something up? Are patients complaining about me? Oh no!"
"No, no, nothing like that, Helen. Everyone on staff and all our patients love you and your smile. But we haven't seen much of it lately. And you seem disconnected. We're all worried. Is there something I can do? Even Clark has noticed. I'm calling as a friend. I want to help, if I can."
I glanced around the kitchen and saw my little one was no longer in visual range. "Julie, I really appreciate that you called. Can I call you back? My kiddo wandered off and I need to make sure he isn't filling a toilet with toys or washing his hands." We both chuckled.
"I remember those days. Sort of miss them but yes, go find him. Call me back anytime." And we hung up.
Found the little bugger in the laundry room fishing around in a cabinet. No harm, no foul. I spent the afternoon entertaining my child, picking up after my child and feeling lost. I missed my husband. But I was mad and depressed. After reading to Ricky, I tucked him in and silently left his room.
I grabbed a book and was just starting to read, when my phone buzzed. It was text from Julie, "Doing OK? If you want to talk, give me a call." I thought about it. Did I want her to know what was up? Can I trust her? The phone buzzed. Julie texted, "You can trust me. Whatever it is, I want to help." I looked around the room as if looking for a hidden camera and chuckled. So, I called.
"Helen, thanks for trusting me. You seem so sad. Tell me what's going on?"
I started to talk and broke down in tears. "No, Helen....oh noooo. Honey, I'm coming over right now. What's the address?"
Twenty minutes later, Julie texted she was in my drive way. I met her at the door and let her in. She gave me a big hug and I started crying again. It felt good to have a shoulder to cry on. She kissed my forehead and rubbed my back in big, wide circles. I sobbed and let it all out. Eventually, we made our way to the couch. She went in the kitchen and I could hear her opening the cabinets. She brought me some water and tissues. She sat next to me and said, "Take your time and tell me what happened. Where's your husband?" I looked at her wide eyed. "Did he leave you?" I shook my head and cried. Eventually, I explained the situation. Julie had no pity for him. "He's a dick. What an asshole!"
With Julie's support I was able to work some things out with my husband and I decided not to divorce, not yet. He eventually came back home and tried to get me to forgive him. I tried; I really did. But there were times I felt I didn't need him anymore. Julie became a great friend and we'd hang out about once a month. We chatted regularly. Sometimes, her husband joined us for dinner or a movie. It was fun. My husband had to learn to stay home and be a father, while I got to unwind with friends.
The following summer Julie would occasionally rent a room at the Hilton. It came with a jacuzzi and a balcony on the 30
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