What You Cost Me

She takes her time kissing the insides of my thighs, running her hands up to my waist. She places soft kisses on my pussy. Then slowly lets her tongue slither from between her lips. The kisses get sloppy and before long she's making out with my pussy like her life depends on it. I feel her tounge dancing around my clit in wild, disorderly strokes. Her lips grasping mine in an embrace so sweet you'd think we were lovers. I slink my fingers into the waves of her hair. Pulling her closer, inviting her to lose herself in my pleasure. The sensation is unbelievable and I curl my toes and flex my leg muscles in an attempt to keep quiet. My orgasm slowly sends me to sleep. Her soft licks to my slit. A tingle across my skin. The last things I remember before I lost consciousness.

***********

I wake up with the sun in my eyes, the curtains drawn back to let in the light of morning. And a girl next to me, her hand down the front of her pants. I don't say anything, do anything but watch pleasure sweep across her face. I hadn't woken up as happy as I am for a while. Who am I to interfere with her orgasm when she's given me one to put me to sleep. Her master. Well, temporary master.

I sat up slowly and watched Tara panick and pull her hands from the blue and green boy shirts I'd let her borrow.

"You're fine."

I mumble to her on my way past her. I exit the room and go to the bathroom to do the morning rituals.

On my way out I see Donny and the boys already awake and busy. Still in my PJ's I walk to them.

"Good morning guys."

They all look at me and smile.

"What?"

Donny clears his throat. "Had fun last night?"

Oh shit.

"What do you mean?" I ask but I know exactly what he means. They heard me.

"You know what I mean."

"She's mine, I can do what I want with her."

"That you can."

One of the new boys Robbie smacks around a spoonful of frosted flakes. "You mind if I get a turn tonight or somethin. I was really needing a bitch last night."

I eye him. He's tall, and skinny, with a nose too small for the broad features of his face. I was so close to swelling it with a two piece to his left nostril. Instead I walk toward his spot at my table.

"Her name is Tara."

"I thought she was just a sex slave."

I glare at him, the promise of a ginuine ass whuppin.

"Unless you just want her all to yourself. That's cool. Explains why Donny don't get no action. You shooting in the wrong hoop man." He laughs.

I take a deep breath.

"First of all I'm not gay. Second, you keep talking, Robbie and I'ma staple yo balls to the wall."

He shuts up.

"Y'all hurry this shit up. We got work to do." I spit. Happy morning dead.I'm not gay. We aren't in a relationship. More like friends with benefits.

Back in the room, Tara has changed into my clothes. A pair of dark blue jeans I never wear and a gray shirt.

I dig in my closet for black skinny jeans and a red shirt. Call it a day. I'm slipping on a pair of black and red 23's when someone knocks at the door.

"What."

It's Donny who says "Parker and Devon are here."

Parker and Devon. A couple of cops I paid off to keep an eye on the PD for me. That used to be their only job until the day they came back asking for more. They helped me "recruit" other "trustworthy" cops to roam the streets and keep me informed on what's going on.

I slipped my hair into a ponytail, glossed my lips, and put on my chain. The one with capital letters. RR. Red Rose.

I look like a boss. I had been telling myself that since I was twelve. Now I am the boss.

Parker's sort of the spokes person for the two of them. As soon as I step out of my bedroom I heard his voice. Loud and almost too high for a grown ass man. I didn't tell Tara to stay behind so she follows me into the living room. I shake hands with Parker who wishes me good morning.

"What's new?" I ask.

"Um...a lot. I think we need to go somewhere private."

Shit that's not good.

I take Donny with me to the balcony with Parker and Devon following. I make Tara stay behind.

"So, I'm riding past Jimpskeep street. You know across from that shopping center with two Dollar stores," Parker starts.

"And I see this kid walking and he's got the MC on his shoulder. So I ask the kid what's up with that. Of course I'm not in uniform so he tells me he's 'reppin Cale'. Now what to make of that I don't know but it's obvious that Marcus is movin in on yo shit."

The MC of Marcus Cale. On one of my mutha fuckin kids. Gotta stop this shit now.

"Ok. Donny put it on our list for today. Check Jimpskeep. And straighten this shit out. Anything else?"

"Yeah, few more things. The DV's are getting outta hand again. And there's this new kid. Frances Solomon. He's dealing to the high school kids and he's been pushing down some of your guys. He's got a warehouse on the lot with his shit."

"The lot? That's down by Rayford."

Rayford was on the west side of the city. Jimpskeep was on the east. The DV's right in the middle. If I didn't check this quick I'd have a problem that could get outta hand.

"Alright." I push off the railing of the balcony and lead the others back into the living room. When I get in I see Robbie facing the wall and over his shoulder I can just make out the top of Tara's head. He's got her pinned. I hear him whisper something to her.

"Robbie!" I call out. "Lemme talk with you a sec. I walk to the back and into the room to the left of my own. He follows. There's a leather bag that I use to give the guys their money. I hold it out to him and he grabs it but I don't let go.

"Leave her alone." My tone serious my face stern. He nods. We walk back to the living room and then I watch Devon grab Tara's hand, a smile on his face while he's talking sweet to her.

"Hey, Robbie will escort you out." I say to the boys. For some reason I put my arm around Tara's waist and drag her body into mine. Possesively. Devon nods before he walks out the door with the bag of money Robbie hands him. As soon as they're gone I turn and tell everyone to lock and load. I want to handle this shit today. Donny asks if Tara's coming to. I tell Larry and Kamron to stay with her and am not surprised when Robbie volunteers. Why I allowed it, I don't know. Everyone's ready to go but before we do I tell Larry to keep an eye on Robbie.

***********

Three DV's died that week. So did Frances Solomon. New comers are not welcome in my city and neither are rebels. As for the MC thing. I have to watch how I approach that or I might get war. But the worse thing is the DV's on the other side killed one of my boys. And took his shit. He had some important shit on him. And now it's in the hands of one of my enemies. I was mad I lost it, mad I lost one of my boys, mad about that MC shit. I had let my anger sit and rot for a little over a week. Everyone knew. I was a little more than tipsy tonight. Had a few beers. Throwing around threats. It didn't help opening the door to my apartment and seeing Robbie sitting on my fucking couch with Tara's head bobbing in his lap.

I could've yelled and cursed him out when he jumped up. Hard dick waving hello. Tears running down Tara's cheeks. Instead I checked that the door was shut tight.

"Tara get up. Go to my room."

"He made me!" She says as she jumps up and, seeing the anger boil over in my eyes, runs up the stairs.

He disobeyed me. If he can't control his urges behind my back what else will he do behind my back. Give away my operations and shit. I don't trust anyone. But if you can't be reliable then you are of no use to me.

I pull out my glock. Silencer in pkace.

"I'm sorry Rose. I just wanted my dick sucked."

I'm about to put one through his head when I have a second thought. I fire one at his dick. He screams bloody fucking murder for a good fifteen seconds before I put one in his mouth.

James and Eric grab at the body. They know what to do.

I head upstairs planning to talk to Tara until I realize the anger isn't gone. His death hasn't made me feel any better. Now I would have to find someone to replace him. I burst through the door.

Her. That fucking girl. Yeah...fucking...girl. Good for eating pussy.

"Come here." She walks to me slowly. Eyeing me with caution.

"Lay on the bed." I growl. I want to calm myself but I feel the anger boiling. There is no calm. She lays in the middle on her back. I strip out of my pants then climb on the bed so she can watch me lose my panties.

Punish her. Worthless bitch. Just good for eating pussy. I sit on her face. Rubbing my pussy around her lips, her cheeks, her nose, forehead.

"Eat me bitch!" I yell. Words slurring a little. She opens her mouth and I angle my hips so I can rub my pussy into her tounge. "Come on!" I yell grabbing the sides of her head and pulling her head into me as I push my pussy into her face. She just pushes her tounge out and moves it around fast in no particular shape or pattern. It feels good and I cum with a scream I don't care if anyone hears. But I don't let her up. I roll over to my back, my hands still gasping at her head so I take her with me. Then I press her head hard into my pussy, wrapping my legs around her neck and grinding into her. Pushing her poor nose into my mound. She couldn't breathe and started turning her head to gasp for breath. But I didn't let her. It felt good on my clit when she screamed for air. She flailed trying to push off of me but I wouldn't let her go until I came again. This time harder than before. Again no fucks given about the noise. I do it over and over until I come three more times and hen I'm done I toss the sorry bitch off me. Put my clothes back on and turn on my side to curl under the blanket on my bed.

"You don't touch anybody but me." I growl before I drift off to the sound of her sniffling.

***********

I open my eyes. Pitch black. No stream of light. No good morning feeling. Shit. Fuck I didn't mean to do that. Fuck. My head thumps a little and I know the beer didn't help but I wasn't that drunk. I won't put this on the beer. That's some coward shit. I'll just apologize. But I don't owe her anything. If anything she owes me. She should be happy to work off a thousand dollars.

And then I realized if I didn't check myself I'd end up acting like 'them'. Those guys with no morals who find a way to justify their actions when they fuck up. And that was some coward shit too. I don't want to be like them.

I turn over to see the other side of the bed empty and sit up. The window is blanketed by closed curtains. I go to them. Open them and welcome myself to the dark of midnight. She's probably in the bathroom.

I open the door to check just in case. Look to the bathroom. See the light on and hear her sniffling. Yeah she's in there. I slide back into my room but...something doesn't feel right. My mind is telling me to check on her. Maybe she's fine and I don't need to. But mama always told me to go with my first instinct.

I tried to open the door. It was locked. I knock. "Hey, Tara...? What's wrong?" Just another sniffle. No answer. "Tara?" Nothing again. "Open the fucking door!!" I yell. She's scaring me. Donny opens his door.

"What's going on?" He asks just as I ram my shoulder into the door with so much force I put a hole through it.

She's in my tub with a sharpened pencil in her hand. Blood dripping across its end, a gash a across the side of her neck. I scoop her out of the tub, clutch her body to mine and rush out into the hallway past the boys that have collected by the door.

Donny's already got the keys. I slip on somebody's shoes and rush out of the apartment. Donny follows close behind.

We rush her to the hospital nd wait while they work on her. We sit in the waiting room for hours. The clean hospital smell suffocates me. Reminding me of all the fallen. My fallen soldiers, friends, family. Then the doctor comes to us.

"Who is the closests to this woman."

Does it matter?

"I'm her sister."

"Okay well, thankfully she didn't cut deep enough to do real damage. We stitched her up but we're going to keep her overnight. Just to keep an eye on her."

"Can we see her?"

The doctor leads us through different halls and shit. Then we get to the room where she's being held.

Her neck is bandaged and she's damn near unconscious.

"Your sister has alot of cuts and bruises. Do you know if she's in some kind of abusive relationship?"

The damn doctor asking questions.

"She was. When can she leave?" I can't shake this feeling. This feeling of wanting to get her back home.

"She's had a fair amount of blood lost. We'll keep her for a few more hours before we release her."

"Okay. Who do I talk to about the bill?"

The ride home is torturous. I want to talk to her. Ask her what the fuck is wrong with her. But instead I'm just hoping it's not because of what I did. She doses off. Head tilted towards the scar so I can't see what she's done to herself. Maybe it has to do with Robbie. Maybe she thinks I blame her. Or maybe she blames herself. Maybe she's just sick of her shitty life. But for the past few weeks it had to have been less shitty. I had taken her shopping. Found out her favorite color was light teal. She loved Nike's and skinny jeans. I had taken her out to eat and listened as she told me quietly ,with the soft voice of girl broken, of things she used to do before Marcus Cale. I learned she like to sing, to draw. Used to love to laugh. When we had gotten into the car after eating out I had sang to her the song playing on the radio in my best country accent. And she had laughed. And I had loved it. I had wanted to hear it again so the next day I had taken her to see a movie. Made her laugh at the theatre and spit popcorn all over herself. She was my day and most of my business I took care of at night.

She had eaten me every night. Softly. Slowly. Thanking me with a passion I could have confused with lust. I had pat her head and stroked her cheek and screamed when she had finished. Had me wondering why Marcus thought I would want to be rid of her. And then I had come in and forced myself on her like what she did was a dirty chore. I had treated her the way they treated her. Like she was worthless.

She rocked a little now, and then fell over in my lap. Up until this point I had done a good job of not touching her. But now... I put my hand on her back and rubbed slow circles. This was okay.

It was almost 9am when we got back home. The boys were all worried but I ignored them and took her to bed. I tucked her in, crawled in with her and watched her sleep. I would have to give her up or pay her off in a few days. More than likely Marcus won't let me have her. The biggest problem will be dealing with him at all, considering he's put his foot in my territory. How do I straighten that out and get Tara. Get Tara first. Deal with my territory later. But my empire came first. I guest I'd just cross that bridge when I came to it.

She was snoring softly when I woke three hours later but as soon as I moved she woke up. She didn't look at me when I looked at her. She didn't move.

"Why did you do that." I cut to the chase.

She doesn't answer.

"Tara..."

"I can't do it anymore. My life...I've been through so much. You should've left me alone."

I get up and change out of the PJs I had taken her to the hospital in and walk out. I don't know how I feel about her answer. Was it my fault or not? Her response was so vague. I'm worrying about myself and she's just tried to kill herself.

The bathroom door is broken. A hole in its center. Ripped off the first hinge. I do my morning rituals and walk into the living room.

"Rose, we got a trip next week. Staying at the Gasrachi." Donny says as soon as I see him.

It's a reminder that we still have a DV problem. The DV's. Devils Vikings. Stupid name for some dumbass clan who keeps trying to move in my territory. They're hard work to keep back. Like ants in the summer.

"Daniel's outside." He reminds me.

"What would I do without you?" I ask before heading outside.

Daniel Ross. A small time guy I sold to. He kept my shit on the streets and was by far my best seller. His only flaw: trust issues. He never brings back-up when he sees me. Likes that I meet him outside where the playing field is "even" he says. But I still carry a gun.

"I'll be ready for that new shipment by tomorrow. Can u have it ready?"

"It's already ready. All you have to do is get it."

"Okay."

"Hey, what do you know about Marcus Cale moving Jimpskeep?"

"I know they say he's better to work for cuz he's got more power and more money than you."

So he's playing that card.

"You gotta get your own stuff." He says.

He was right I had a place to grow my own bud. But I didn't make the other shit I sold.

"Working on it."

Mental note: Need to talk to Carlos Suarez.

"Yeah. Marcus pushing a lil bit but-" he stops mid sentence, looks up towards the roof of my building and says

"oh shit."

I turn and look too and see Tara climbing onto the railing on my balcony. She's about to jump. I run so fast into my building. Forget the elevator and run so fast up to my floor that my fucking ankles burn. I burst through the door to my apartment and to the balcony. Some of the guys are talking to her. Trying to reason with her and coax her down. Fuck that. I grab her around the waist and literally throw her crazy ass into the living room.

"Everybody out!!" I yell.

They scurry upstairs or in the back rooms.

I look at Tara as she pulls my gun from behind her back. She had swiped it from me and now she was holding it under her chin.

I lunged at her, grabbing the gun just as she cocked it. I turned it out and a searing pain exploded across my right shoulder as she pulled the trigger. I still snatched the gun from her and threw it to the other side of the room. Both of us pant heavily. I'm angry and she's crying.

"What the fuck?!"

"I told you I can't do it. I can't."

"Yes you can."

"You don't even fucking know me. You don't care about me."

"If I didn't care I wouldn't feed you, clothe you, talk to you."

"Marcus does all that shit. And then he locks me in an animal pen. He doesn't care about me. I'm just his fuck toy! I'm everybody's fuck toy! All my fucking life!"

"What are you talking about?" My voice has gone soft. She's scaring me.

"When I was eight it was my dad. Then my uncle and my aunt. My friends dad. My first boss. All my life people have been touching me and wanting me to touch them. And then when I was old enough fucking me and wanting me to fuck back. I'm nothing but some kind of plaything. I don't matter to anybody."

I knelt down. Close to her.

"Hey, hey, You matter to me." I whisper. The words were true. She did matter to me. I didn't want her to die. I didn't want anything to happen to her.

"Of course I matter to you. I matter a thousand fucking dollars to you."

I grab her by her shoulders, placing my hands over faded bruises.

"I mean it. I care about you. I'm so sorry for what I did last night. But I would never want to hurt you. I don't want anything to happen to you. You've become the fucking highlight of my life." I whisper passionately remembering the past three weeks with her.

And then I did it. Broke down a barrier. Past a boundary. Crossed a line when I kissed her.

At first it was just the union of our lips. I broke apart to see her reaction. Her eyes were still closed so I went in again, unable to stop myself from indulging in the softness of her lips. The kiss progressed. She pressed towards me, I slipped my tongue past her lips, tasting her. She pushed on my tounge with hers and before I knew it I was reaching around to grasp at her waist.

And then I felt the pain in my shoulder.

I broke the kiss with a grimace as my shoulder reminded me of its presence.