I had two meetings with Jane after my little masturbation session. And surprisingly to me, both times I went into her office, I almost felt embarrassed. I was shy and reserved and felt as if she had known I had masturbated to lesbian porn. Even though that night, I did not think of her, or fantasize about her, I just felt like the spotlight was on me. I was uncomfortable, nervous, and rather out of sorts as we talked. I played it cool and I kept my composure, but something about her, made me feel very small and innocent.
Weeks went by without thoughts of women, Jane, or even "what's his name," but one-night curiosity got the best of me. As I lay in bed, I began thinking about the lesbian video I had watched. It was still fresh in my mind as if I had just watched it yesterday. I could feel little tingles welling up inside me, but nothing like I had that previous night. For a while, I thought maybe that night was just a release I needed, maybe some deviant sexual fantasy I never contemplated. Maybe some, man-hating fantasy, knowing that even straight women, can get off watching two girls.
I wasn't sure, but the more I thought about it, the less turned-on I became. It was as if my conscious mind, had taken over my fantasy mind and shut all those erotic thoughts off. And it was rather disheartening because I needed that excitement again. I needed that sexual rush; I needed that release. And since I was no longer (at that time) wanting anything to do with men, the only real fantasy I could grasp onto was women. But, my heart, my spirit, and even my sexual passion were not coming together to make my fantasy develop more. I shut the lights off, slipped out of my leggings, brushed my hair out, took my glasses off pulled the covers up to my neck, and went to sleep.
I awoke about 40 minutes later; I was having a weird dream that got my heart rate up. I was lightly covered in sweat and was overly warm. I kicked the covers off and tried to remember what the dream was, that woke me up, but it was gone just as fast as it had come. As I lay there, I started wiping the lightly glistening sweat away from my face, neck, and upper chest, tossing and turning, trying to find a comfortable spot. The light touch of my hand across my body, the feeling of silky soft wet skin, and the heat of my room began to transform me into a place I was longing for before I dozed off. A state of erotic desire.
When I closed my eyes again, I started picturing in full vivid detail the shower scene I had watched. The glistening sweat covering my body, felt as if I was wet from the shower; as if I was there with the girls. My hands kept sliding up and down all over my chest, my neck, and my stomach. I felt tingling inside me, so I licked my lips as I began replaying the video in my mind's eye. I reached up from my stomach across my glistening skin and lightly grasped and cupped my tits. Rubbing my hands around every inch of them, caressing, squeezing, and pulling them as if I were being fondled during sex.
My legs shifted open and I could feel my pussy starting to get wet. The more I re-lived the video, the more turned on I got. The more I could see them sucking each other's nipples, the more I wanted a mouth on mine. The more I could see their hands between each other's legs, the more I wanted someone touching my pussy. But I wanted more than my mind to help satisfy my needs. I raised up from lying down, pulled my shirt over my head, and fumbled around looking for the TV remote. I clicked it on and was taken aback by how bright my room lit up once the TV was glowing. I checked to see if the blinds were all closed and flipped on the channels with the adult movies.
Trying to read the titles, without my glasses and after just waking up was troubling, so I selected one and just scanned up and down until I found two girls already in action. I watched the two girls having sex until the scene ended, and I was still turned on, but since I had missed the opening part, I didn't know what had transpired. And I felt that if I was to watch the girls, I had to know the context of what led them to this. I needed that part of the fantasy. I needed to know what brought them together. Why they were so turned on? Why they were making love?