What Might Have Been

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, and it was created solely by me as the author. All characters are over the age of 18. Any similarities to characters, real life people, or things are all happenstance, though my appreciation to those who have

inspired

my works is immense. YSI, my friend.

Author's Note:

This was

supposed

to be a stand-alone piece as it's totally a first for me in this category, however, a plan for part two in yet a different category is already being written. Being able to write this all out for you to enjoy is the joy I never knew I could get from it. So... here it is! I sure hope you'll love it and check out my other works as well!

Questions and comments are welcome. Please take the time to rate this story also. I hope everyone will be kind.

What Might Have Been - pt. 1

There were six of us in "the group" during middle school. Megan, Jamie, Morgan, Tara, Belinda, and me, Marti. Especially during eighth grade, Morgan and I were extremely close. We hung out regularly, played The Dating Game constantly, and even went on vacation together that summer. (What's The Dating Game? Oh, one of us would pick three classmates and pretend to be them while the other would ask questions of those bachelors and pick who they'd date. The game was quick and kept us entertained for hours.)

We knew that we were going our separate ways for high school. I went to the private co-ed one across town while she went to the all-girls private school closer to home. Even with the different friend groups and activities, we maintained our friendship. It went even better when we both got our drivers licenses. We cheered for each other from the sidelines and looked forward to our next sleepover or chat on the phone. Before we knew it, we were graduating and looking forward to college.

Morgan had accepted a small scholarship to attend college in the next state over. I got a full ride to the local community college. Communication became less, but we still kept in touch. She had more new friends in her dorm suite, and I was busy working and trying to remember that I had to maintain a high GPA for the sake of my scholarship. It was a little difficult with all the new freedom I had.

I once drove all the way to her school to pick her up to come home to visit for Easter Break. She had some wild stories. I didn't have as much to share, but I suppose I kept up with her experiences in my own way. We had both lost our virginities during our freshman year of college, and the new stories were always met with oohs and ahhs, not to mention questions and giggles.

After college, Morgan moved to the big city to work at a large company downtown. She would talk about the El and the fact that she took a cab here or caught a ride with another co-worker there. I was fascinated by the whole idea. It was when I found myself being sent to a convention downtown that she invited me to come visit her. We made plans for dinner and a quick trip to her place so that I could see it before I would head home on the train later that evening.

As planned, we met and hugged at 5pm when my convention got out and Morgan had gotten off work. She only worked a block away from the center where my event had taken place. We walked a few blocks and headed into the little pizza place she had mentioned several times during our little chats to catch up.

What I loved about our friendship was that no matter how much time went by, we just picked up where we left off. We caught up, laughing the whole time, of course, and then carried on. No hard feelings - we were both busy, and we knew it. It was all good.

So, on the way to her place (which she navigated like a pro), we talked about our boyfriends. I had been seeing Mark for a year at that point, and it seemed to be promising that a proposal was possible. We had been exclusive, talked about the future, had similar interests and goals, and were living together for two months by that point.

Morgan has been seeing Dan for about three months, and they were beginning to get serious about one another, despite Morgan's attempt to stay single for a while longer as she made it in the big leagues with her career. Mark and I had hosted a quaint little dinner at our place with Dan and Morgan the month prior to my trip to the big city. We all got along well and had a great time that night.

"So, will you remember when you leave which train to take to the station?" Morgan asked as she led me to her little apartment.

"Yes,

Moooooom

," I teasingly whined and hugged Morgan with my hand on her hip to bring her into a side hug. "Don't be such a worrier," I pleaded.

"Well, you're not from around here, so I was just making sure," she argued. "Come on in," she invited and sat down once she had set our things on the kitchen table. "Do you have to be back at any certain time?"

"No curfew," I answered and laughed when she tossed a small pillow at me. "Hey, is Dan coming over tonight? I don't want to mess with your alone time."

"Oh, no, not tonight," Morgan answered. "Even though you turned down my offer for a sleepover, he was cool with staying home." She got silent for a slightly longer than normal pause.

"What's up?" I asked. She seemed lost in her thoughts. It was like she had something to ask or tell me. She didn't usually tiptoe around subjects with me. We went back pretty far in our history and always just kinda meshed.

"Nothing, I guess," she responded and kinda laughed it off.

I shook my head. "No, Morg, don't do that. What's up, hun?"

After a big sigh, Morgan sat forward. "I just... I just wondered if you had ever done anything before and not told me. Or, you know, felt a certain way."

I looked at my best friend of many years and tilted my head. "Done anything without telling you? Felt a certain way?" I tilted my head the other way. "Honey, you're going to have to explain what you're talking about. I don't know if you mean skydiving or going on vacation or skipping Mass one week?"

Morgan was about to answer but stopped and turned quickly. "Mass one week? Honey, I haven't been..."

"I know," I teased. "I was just making sure to hit all the subjects I could think of. Just tell me, babe. I'm much more likely to answer more clearly when I understand what you're talking about."

"When I was at college, you know, I had those four suitemates. We, um... one night we were all studying for finals and getting a little restless until one of them asked everyone if anyone had ever messed around with another girl."

"Oh, you definitely never told me

that

!" I exclaimed. "What happened? Did you guys play a game to see who would do something, or did you..." I gasped. "Did you end up kissing someone?"

Morgan covered her face in her hands. "We swore we wouldn't tell anyone, so,

no

, I never told you. Um, yeah, we kinda ended up taking a break from studying, talking about our experiences (or lack thereof), and what we've thought about. We were all on the same page. None of us had done anything, but we all admitted hesitantly that we were rather curious. It was when Amiee reminded us that we were in college that we all got on board. 'Where else can we safely experience these things? We trust each other, right?'"

I gave her a steady look of interest and surprise all the while she was sharing the story. I didn't judge her. Hell, I was rather envious of her. I didn't have that suite or dorm experience in college. I didn't get to "experiment" in college, per se. I was glad, actually, that she did whatever she did "safely" as her friend had pointed out.

"So," I finally stated and made the motion with my hand indicating she should continue to share, "what happened?"

"Oh, nothing like

that

," Morgan clarified, (whatever

that

was) "but we all did experience what Katy Perry had been singing about. We never did anything with each other again, but we referenced it once in a while. Now we knew what it was like to 'kiss a girl.'" She shrugged. "I dunno. I just... I wondered if you ever have."

"Oh, you would have known if I had, but I haven't," I answered. "I'm kinda jealous. It's that FOMO or 'what might have been' issue I deal with. 'What if I had joined the Air Force?' I ask myself once in a while. 'What if I had stayed with my original area of study?' It's always 'what if, what if, what if..."

"Well, when it happened, I really wanted to tell you about it," Morgan continued and shrugged. "You know, because we used to tell each other everything. But you would have been disappointed in me for breaking that confidence with my roommates also, so I chose not to tell. Well, last week, I heard from Janae, and shared that both she and Aimee had shared the story with a few other friends, so she just wanted to give a heads up since it might come back around if anyone from those days happened to hear and still be in touch. Small school, lots of contacts," she added.

"I called you last week to finally share it with you because I'd been wanting to do so, but you told me that you were coming here to the city. I thought maybe we could have a sleepover if that would have worked out for you and your work schedule."

"Oh, well, I'm glad you told me," I offered. "The trains run late, so I can stick around for a bit longer. I'm happy for you, but I still feel like there's something else on your mind. What's up, Morg? Talk to me. Is everything good with Dan? Did more stuff happen than what you've told me?"

"What? Dan? Oh, no... we're good," Morgan responded and waved off my concerns. "No, we're really good in that department. We talk about everything. It's... it was actually Dan who encouraged me to contact you."

"Dan did? Well, that's nice," I offered. "Have you been needing some girl time?" To my surprise, Morgan laughed. I hesitated but went on with my questions. "Wait... are you sick?"

"Sick?!" Morgan questioned and laughed as she reached for my hand. "Girl, no!" she answered quickly. "Honey, oh, I'm sorry. No, just... let me explain. Are you sure you don't need to leave or anything?"

"No, but you know what?" I asked as I slipped my shoes off and tucked them under me on her couch. "Do you have anything with a little kick? I won't be driving if I'm taking all this public transportation."

Morgan smiled which made me smile back at her. What was her issue? Maybe if we both had some yummy Captain and diets, she'd relax. I just hope she wasn't in any trouble or having any issues with anything. I was glad to know she and Dan had been doing well. I liked him, and she seemed happy with him.

"Here ya go," she offered as she handed me the glass of inebriation. Once she'd sat down and taken a stiff drink of her beverage, she went ahead and continued. "One of the reasons I've wanted to tell you about that night is because I kinda always wished you had been there."

"Oh, well, like I said," I shared as I finished my own large gulp, "I'm a little jealous that you had the opportunity to experience those things, but I'm not upset that you didn't tell me or anything. I would have definitely appreciated the opportunity to share in that. Your roommates were all sweethearts. I can just bet it was super amazing. In a weird way, kinda romantic even, you know? I mean, you all enjoyed each other's company, and a little intimacy along with it. I think it's awesome."

"You do?" Morgan asked and covered her forehead with her hand. "I've been concerned that you... I don't know. I was worried that you might think it's wrong or that I was gross or..."

"Definitely not gross," I clarified. "Nope, not even a little. So, just to tell me had you all worked up? I mean, what did you think I was going to do, Morg? Tell you that you weren't my friend until you went to Confession?"

"No, I mean, no," Morgan answered and brought her hand down from her forehead to grab her drink. "Mart, I have been thinking about that night a lot lately, but I sorta imagine it with you there. I... I want to know what it's like to be with you."

"Oh?" I asked. "Well, I mean, wait. Be with me? I thought you just said you just kissed the girls. Was there more?"

"More? Oh, no," Morgan clarified. "We just kissed. See, um, Dan and I have been opening up about our desires lately. Well, I mean, ever since we got together. I told him about the girls and me that night when Janae called, and he found it super hot. Typical guy, right? But then he asked me to share with him how it felt, not to be pervy or anything, but to open up to him. He thinks that if we are completely open and honest, we'll connect deeper. That's been the case so far for sure."

"Well, that's kinda what has happened with Mark too as we got together, but more particularly once we moved in together. He said he read an article about it and started gently bringing up some ideas and simple questions. Some were way off the wall which we both agreed were crazy, but others came up and led us into amazing, very private conversations late at night which brought us closer together."

"Um, I am pretty sure Dan shared that article with Mark," Morgan confessed and nodded. "I know because he told me who he got it from and thought it would be cool to pass it on to someone else. He never mentioned who he chose, but that's the same article he's used with me."

"Wow, well, thank him for me," I requested. "So, my name came up?"

"Well, yeah, I mean... Dan still has to be reminded that we didn't go to high school or college together, but he forgets because we are still so close. So, when I told him about that night, he asked if you had been there. I had to remind him that you didn't go to school there. It's funny though. When he first asked me, I muttered, 'I wish,' without even realizing that I felt that way. Then he encouraged me to at least tell you about it. So, here we are."

I finished my mixed drink and set it back on the coaster she had set in front of me on the little coffee table I had actually given to her when she'd moved into her place. "Um, I need to make a phone call," I informed her and nodded as I stepped away from her to stand in her little bedroom.

"I'll be out here," she replied and nodded when I looked over at her from her bed. I took a seat and called Mark.

"Hey, babe," he answered. "What's up?"

"I have an opportunity to do something that we've spoken about, and I want you to be fully aware of it."

"Go on," he encouraged. I could literally picture him resting his head on his chin as he waited for me to tell him the details. This call was something we had agreed to do should something like this arise, though I never thought it would ever occur.

"Morgan wants to know what it's like to kiss me, and it may lead to more," I shared. "Mark, I've never done this," I declared quietly into my phone. "I'm so nervous, but I'm not, you know? I mean, it's Morgan, so it's cool, but I've never done anything like this. Are you cool with it?"

"Oh, my gosh," Mark answered and laughed. "So cool with it! You know what I'm going to be thinking about the whole time you're gone! Are you coming home, or do you plan to stay the night? Oh, man! I wish I was there to see it!"

"Mark, depending on what we do, I might come home and ravage you," I argued. "But, babe? Are you good with it?"

"Honey, I'm so good with it," Mark reiterated. "Go. Have some girl time with Morgan. If it leads to more, enjoy it. Don't do anything you don't feel comfortable doing, but remember, babe. She's your best friend. Be open and honest. Then come home and tell me

ev

-ry-thing. I want to hear about every little detail. Cool?"

"Cool," I assured him and smiled. "I love you. You know that, right?"

"Hell yeah, I do," Mark answered. "Why do you think I always claim that I'm the luckiest guy? And, babe? Love you too. Wake me up when you get home."

"I'll do that," I promised. Once we hung up, I smiled and clicked off my phone.

"Morg?" I called from her room. "I'm going to use the bathroom and be right out, K?"

"Sure, Mart," she answered. "I'm still out here," she added.

When I entered the living room, Morgan stood up. "Marti, if you're not comfortable..."

"Shhh," I requested and stood directly in front of my best friend. "I had to go call Mark to let him know that I was going to possibly be messing around with my best friend. We have an agreement to check in with one another to communicate about things, you know... like this. And while I never really thought it would happen, I'm thrilled that I have a relationship with a man who is both open to things like this and even encouraging of it. He's thrilled. And since you talked to Dan about it, I'm assuming he's cool with it too?"

"Oh, gosh, Mart," Morgan reacted and laughed. "He's waiting on pins and needles just to hear if I was brave enough to share it with you. He is so fine with this." She pushed her hair back behind her ears and reached for my hand. "The question is, Mart, are

you

OK with this?"

"One of the things that came up with Mark in a recent discussion was whether I'd ever been with a girl or desired as such," I admitted and reached for her other hand. "I told him that I hadn't really thought about it, but if I had to pick someone, I had always pictured

you

being the person I'd experience things with. Katy Perry's song. A little girl-on-girl porn. A story on the website where I read several different types of sexual adventures.

"I just want to clarify that I'm so completely in love with Mark, and this,

whatever

we do, it won't change that. In fact, I can see it only being a one-time thing. But, Morgan? I refuse to let anything happen if it affects us in any way negatively, and I want to be 100% sure that Dan is cool with it."

"One and done?" Morgan teased since we had used that phrase more than once when we both called one another to tell the other about a one-night stand we'd had (neither on purpose). "It won't affect us in any way that isn't wonderful, and Dan is totally encouraging this of us."

"Well then," I responded and squeezed her hand.

"I kinda always thought we'd end up being all giggly if we were ever in this position," Morgan shared as she scooted closer to me, our faces moving in more than anything.

"I guess it's not so funny when it's this hot," I relayed and slid my hand from hers to hold her arm.

"It's definitely hot," she answered and moved her hand to hold my arm as well.

"I guess I could take off my sweater," I suggested and tugged on hers as well.

"Let me," Morgan offered and had already slid her hands up under my sweater to hold my hips.

"Works for me," I replied and began slowly pulling up on her sweater. The weather had been cooler for the season, and the Lake Effect was a real thing. The sweater she wore was one that she'd purchased on one of our shopping trips. Even better? I had suggested it for her. Now that I thought about it, I had thought about how hot she'd looked in it. I just never realized how hot she made

me

.

"Oh, the super lacy one," Morgan noticed and traced the fabric along my breasts. I sighed and cupped her breasts before running my hands around her to pull her in closer.

"I really want this," I confessed and slid my hand down over her sexy bottom. "Is there anything you don't want to do? While I've never done anything, I have watched, as I admitted earlier, a bit of girl-on-girl stuff. I'm game to try..."

"I want to do everything with you," Morgan declared and brought her mouth to mine. While it shocked me, it felt amazing to finally give in to the desire to know what it would be like to be with her. Just her. I'd never really thought about it before, but as she slid her hands up my back and pulled me in closer, I sighed and turned my head to give her a kiss as good as she was giving. When she moaned, I knew it was as good for her.