What Is Love?

Thank you for likes and comments, this chapter will be bit longer and have tried to improve myself by avoiding grammatical mistakes made before.

Hope you all like it.

Appreciate your likes and comments folks!

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Chapter 4

'Okay, I really don't know what I should say. I didn't do it deliberately to embarrass you and of course I understand how uncomfortable you might have felt while sharing bed with me.' I said.

'Hey I told you right it is totally natural and not to be embarrassed about it as I have broached the incident and as I said, it was really hot of you getting off and seeing you in pure bliss made me remind of the blissful years of my relationship. So please don't see it in negative stance.' She said.

'I see, sorry if I am interfering but may I ask what happened?' I asked.

'Ah, nothing extreme but I was in a happy relationship for five and a half years with someone I knew from my previous office. We were going pretty strong and we both were successful too in our respective careers but we started drifting apart when she got the opportunity to be one of the top-notch Fashion magazine's senior editor in New York and she met someone more beautiful and young too.' She said

My mind specially emphasized on 'She' word while she was telling her life story.

'Oh! I am sorry to hear that.' I said

'Naah, it is fine now. I have come to terms with it.' She said

'So are you looking someone else?' I asked.

'Currently no as I am still married to her. We had a small ceremony in Vegas. We have been separated for almost 1 year but we both know very well that we are still emotionally attached. I guess, you cannot forget your true love completely and at times I still wish I could have made things more simpler or made more efforts to save our relationship. But as we say, it is two way path.' She said.

I could see the raw emotions in her eyes. Any devious thought in process was shooed away in my mind. I saw the pain she felt and made me wonder is it so hard to forget your love. Bare the loss and get along with your life.

'When I broached the subject of yours, it made me really hot and bothered and I missed her terribly at that moment as I still am not able to fill the void which has been created in my life as she left. I still cannot feel that connection with anyone else. I tried many times but failed attempts. Probably will never find anyone else.' She said while small tear slipped from her left eye.

'Hey, please don't cry. I do not want to see you sad. You are a good friend Sarah and I really cannot see you in tears.' I said feeling her emotions.

'I am sorry to ruin this fun moment of ours into pity story of mine.' She said.

'Hey, what are friends for and I really appreciate you for opening yourself to me. It must be real painful moment for you.' I said.

'Yes but I have to move on but please do not tell anyone from our office. I do not like my personal life to get discussed among others.' She said.

'Sarah I understand and I won't, do not worry. So what's so special about the museum we are going next?' I asked changing the subject.

'Chels, you have never been good at changing subjects. Museum will be museum with age old artefacts.' She said with a small smile.

'Fine, sometimes you should appreciate my efforts. Huh!' I said with a smirk.

'I do not feel the need.' She said with a smile.

'Ha-ha, you are a true bitch and you always prove it.' I said mockingly.

We left from the cafe and had a walk at nearby park. It was 10.30 am and still we had few hours to explore the museum before the seminar which starts at 2 pm. Seminar was quite the usual but made few good contacts for the business. Sarah and I met few members like us and decide to dine together and socialize bit in new city.

We went to a nearby pub and had good time. Most of our conversations revolved around current topics happening around the world and our industry. I had downed few pints and Sarah was having cocktails. She was bit tipsy when we left from the bar.

Breeze was quite chill as per the season when we stood outside the pub.

'Would you mind if we take a short walk and then we head for the hotel?' Sarah asked.

'Sure as the climate is pleasing for a walk.' I said.

She hooked herself to my right arm as we started for our walk. I liked the feel of her body leaning towards me. She is a beauty indeed and whoever she was who left Sarah was a big fool I thought.

'I want to sit for a while and enjoy the moment.' She said while halting near a bench situated outside a small shop. We sat and she again leaned towards my right shoulder to lay her head on. I lightly shifted my arm and kept my arm on her shoulders holding her close and silently enjoying the sound of the night air. We were silently sitting for few minutes when she spoke. 'I really enjoyed tonight. It was fun and I feel more connected to you after our talk in cafe.' She hugged me tightly by circling her arms on my waist. It brought us more closely. I was taken aback with sudden closeness. What is going in her mind I thought? Is it all friendly stuff from her side or something else?

She moved her head from my shoulder and looked into my eyes. We stared for a while, her eyes trying to speak something. She shifted more bringing her face near to mine. I could see her lips approaching mine. Though I was experienced in sex but not in emotional stuff. She kissed my lips softly and drew herself back looking into my eyes. I was in shock and stood still for that moment.

'I want to confess to you something.' She hesitated a bit. 'I..I want to spend the night with you. I know what I am asking but I really need someone right now who understands my emotions and want to share the physical aspects I mean' What I mean is I feel connected you..It is not love Che...'

I stopped her mid-way by crushing my lips to her. 'You speak way to much when it is not needed.' I said.

She smiled looking into my eyes and inched closer to my lips for more kisses. I reached her lips and kissed her with as much passion as I can give. At that time I wanted to show her pure bliss.

She bit my lower lip matching the intensity between our kisses. I moaned and interlaced my fingers in her hair and moved my lips to her jawline. Moving towards her earlobe, I suckled softly while I moved my other hand inside her shirt from behind. Feeling the softness of her skin, moving my hand on her back with soft circles and nipping on her neck, she groaned with much passion. I saw the look on her face. Eyes closed, mouth slightly open giving indication for more. With tip of my tongue I moved across her lips, suckling her lower lip, creating vacuum and released them altogether, removing my hand from her back. She opened her eyes few moments later when she came back into her senses, looking at me with confusion and slight irritation for halting abruptly.

Before she could say something, I stopped her with a kiss. 'I cannot resist my desires which I am feeling for you right now. I want to take this to a private place.'

She nodded. We stood up and headed for our hotel room. Once inside the room, she stopped near the bed and looked straight in my eyes while removing her coat and one by one each of her clothing, never breaking the eye contact. Her eyes were getting darker with lust seeing me mirroring her act on myself. We both stood naked looking at each other with pure lust. I approached her and she met me half way. We French kissed with utmost passion, trying to give as much pleasure to each other with the kisses. I wanted to devour her first with my kisses all over her body, I wanted to make her feel good and making her forget her painful memories. I thrust her body at the edge of the bed. We both fell in bed with tangled limbs devouring each other. After rounds of pleasurable orgasms, we both fell asleep me spooning her from behind.

In the middle of the night I woke up, trying to shift but somebody was stopping my movements. It dawned on me who I was sleeping with. Her body sprawled over me, face leaning on my left shoulder. I got up to pee and came back in the bed.

I was awoken again in the morning with soft kisses on the nape of my neck and soft circles on my back. I smile recalling the night events. I looked back and smiled at her, she saw me and gave a rueful smile. I turned and hugged her hard as if thinking of never letting her go. Was I in love? No not really, how can I be in love in such a short time? Worry lines crowded my forehead and Sarah saw these lines. Smile slowly fading from her lips.

'You know I am not asking for you to be in relationship so do not worry' She said.

'I know Chels, who you are and how you are and I do not want to suffocate you with relationship thing. This... this between us was pure physical stuff so do not ruin it with your worries.' She said

Hearing this from her made me hurt a little inside knowing how I was been seen by people around me. Why people were so judgemental about me. Was I this transparent to read? Really?

'Thanks Sarah for clearing this, good morning and I think we should get going for our last seminar'. I said with a bit of distaste and practical tone.

'You know chels, even if I want to be in love with you but I cannot with this kind of attitude you throw to your lovers. It's good that we are friends and nothing more'. She said while getting up from the bed and heading for the bathroom leaving me alone in the bed. Chels you always find an opportunity to ruin good moments in life. Cursing myself I headed for the balcony of the room, having Marlboro for the last time with this view.

After getting dressed and heading for breakfast, I thought of apologizing her for my behavior this morning. 'Hey, I am sorry. I do not know what happened to me but I had no intentions of hurting you this morning.'

'It's ok chels, I understand you now pretty well and I am sorry too the way I reacted after seeing your worry lines and assumed things.'

'So are we good?' I asked.

'Yes we are. You ruined a beautiful moment this morning! Seriously, I was planning for round two but what's gone is gone' she said with a wink and a smile.

God, her smile made me happy a bit from inside for not ruining this friendship with her because of my asshole attitude towards relationships.

'So when are we going for round two?' I asked playfully.

'Round two my ass! What happens in London stays in London.' She said with sincerity.

'Damn you, I will miss the sex.' I said with sadness.

'Hahaha, blame yourself for ruining round two.' She said with playful smile.

'Fine, I wave my white flag.' I said with defeat.

The whole day was uneventful and we had to check out of the hotel as we had to catch our midnight flight to Seattle.

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Being alone in my room, lying in my bed and trying to read one novel but constantly toying with my hair and thinking back to my business trip and the events which took place. Why was I so scared to recognize any relationship? My mind got tired of over thinking on this and I went to sleep.

I was back to work on Monday after taking a day off on Friday. Whole weekend had gone into arranging and cleaning my place and preparing for my presentation with Sarah which was on Monday. The day at work went boring as I was not at all in mood to work plus meetings and meetings and then my presentation after lunch. In evening I was wishing this day to get over as soon as possible and was looking ahead to go to a pub for some stress buster. Finally after one more meeting in the evening I went to my desk to pack and head for the night. Sarah caught me in middle and asked for my plans and self-invited herself to the pub I was planning to visit. After few drinks I was planning to repeat the night in London with her and I guess she read my mind and asked whether she can tag along for a coffee at my place. Once inside my flat, we both were at each other. Trying to remove each other's clothes as fast as we can. This lead to one more blissful night with passionate sex.

In morning, she awoken me with her lips on my slip, slightly parting my nether lips with her tongue and sucking on my engorged clit.

Ummm..What a beautiful sight to wake up in the morning. I thought. I tangled my fingers in her hair, giving an indication of my wakefulness. She looked directly in my eyes and smiled while pulling my clit with her lips. I moaned feeling the orgasm building up inside me and gripped her head tightly, tugging her head for more. She sensed my urgency and quickly inserted two long fingers of hers in me.

'Ahhh..Sarah! That's so good..that feels so good, please don't stop.'

She increased her tempo until my orgasm subsided. I pulled her up and tightly hugged her. Raining kisses all over her body. Repeating her morning performance on her.

It was around 8 a.m. when we got up from bed, quickly having turns in the washroom. I prepared brunch for both of us and leaving for work. Sarah didn't ponder me with all the questions usually a lover does after sex. Good grace!

Our friends with benefits relationship went on for few months without questioning anything and I was happy the way it was. I was seeing Sarah as my close friend with needs getting fulfilled and at times I thought I might be in love with her but never bothered each other with such questions to ruin such beautiful relationship thing which was going on between us. Somewhere I started caring for her but at times I realized the connection which Sarah was talking about when we were in London was still not there from my side.

One late afternoon on Monday, Sarah entered my cabin and closed the cubicle door. I saw her eyes, all puffy and red with crying.

'Hey Sarah! Are you all right?'

'No I am not, can't you see!' She replied with anger.