What Have We Done?

AN: I wasn't seriously planning to continue this story, but enough of you asked, and JodiHutchins was kind enough to read a rough draft and give me some pointers. Go give her works a read because she's a sweetheart.

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Katie's lips stilled on Lilian's neck, tension stiffening her body. There was a whisper of hesitation before another kiss was gently placed on Lilian's neck.

"Katie." Lilian couldn't let this continue without knowing what was going through her step-sister's head. She felt conflicted enough as it was. "We need to talk."

Katie's sigh puffed against Lilian's skin. "I don't want to talk right now, Lilian."

"Well, I need to. I don't understand what just happened. And don't try to be cute and tell me we had sex. I mean between us. You hate me. Why would you...is this because of what I said the other day? Did you feel like you had to prove something to me?" Lilian moved her head back to try and look into Katie's eyes. Katie looked up, guilt, sadness, and fear almost covering the longing in her eyes.

"No, I wasn't trying to prove anything." Katie looked away, curling her arms between them and reminding Lilian they were naked. She sat up and pulled the sheet over Katie, hoping that making her more comfortable would encourage more talking.

When Katie didn't continue, Lilian sighed. "Katie, we can't do this again. You have to know that. I know we're not related by blood, but this still falls under the incest umbrella."

Katie sighed and sat up, clutching the sheet to her chest. She looked over at Lilian, her expression resigned. "I know."

Lilian waited for Katie to say more, to explain herself, anything. Instead Katie sniffed like she was holding back tears and without looking at Lilian asked, "Can I have my dress please?"

"Yeah." Lilian left the bed to retrieve Katie's dress, removing the strap on at the same time. Tossing Katie's dress to the bed Lilian dug out pajamas and dressed quickly.

Feeling less exposed Lilian turned to her bed and Katie. "What now? Will you talk?" Lilian folded her arms over her chest when Katie looked away, "Are you going back to your room so we can just pretend this never happened?"

Katie looked up at Lilian, her expression guarded. She watched Lilian for so long Lilian almost repeated her questions. Finally Katie took a deep breath and rose from the bed. "I'll go back to my room. We won't speak of this, won't tell mom and dad. We'll pretend it never happened."

Lilian didn't like leaving this without figuring out why it happened in the first place, but she recognized that Katie wasn't willing, or able to talk about it. "Okay."

Sleep was a long time coming, and morning arrived too quickly once Lilian did fall asleep. She got up and trudged out to the kitchen, following the smell of coffee and food. Marie was bustling about making pancakes while Patrick sat at the breakfast bar with a coffee mug and half empty plate, browsing the morning paper.

"You guys look like some quaint movie couple." Lilian observed, leaning on her dad's barstool.

"And good morning to you, Lilian." he smiled, giving her a glance over his reading glasses. He set the paper down and gave her a one arm hug, taking a sip of coffee before going back to the sports pages.

"Here you go, sweetie. Cream and sugar are here if you want. Help yourself to some pancakes and such," Marie set a mug in front of an empty barstool. "I've got to go get Katie up. She and I have a manicure appointment in an hour and we all know she needs almost that long just to wake up."

Lilian swallowed her mouthful of coffee uneasily. In the light of day she wasn't so sure she could pull off the act. With a surreptitious peek at her dad Lilian scrubbed a hand over her face and took a deep breath.

Marie returned ten minutes later with a disheveled Katie in tow. "Sit here. I'll get you coffee." she sat Katie on the stool next to Lilian before going to the cabinets for a mug. Katie groaned and set her head on the bar top, rolling it just enough to see Lilian. Lilian cut her last pancake as calmly as she could, ignoring Katie. Katie tried staring her down, only raising her head when her mother set a full cup of coffee in front of her nose. "Perk up, sweetie. We've got a nail appointment soon, remember?"

Katie sat up and tipped her head to each side until it cracked, then dropped it to Lilian's shoulder. Lilian froze, panic and alarm flooding her. Katie was going to give it away. She was going to fuck everything up. Lilian checked to see that their parents weren't looking and jerked her shoulder, forcing Katie's head back up. Katie gave her a shocked look, followed by a pout that earned her a stern frown. She quickly gathered herself with a whispered, "Sorry."

The rest of breakfast was uneventful and Lilian filled her morning helping her dad use the turkey carcass and leftover meat to make their version of turkey pot pie. Instead of making pies, they ladled the stew over homemade biscuits. It was something Patrick had done after their first Thanksgiving without her mother, and it had become a tradition. As they worked they chatted about her work and his hobbies. Patrick even weaseled a promise to visit for Christmas out of her. By the time Katie and Marie returned Lilian and Patrick were parked around the coffee table, four rounds deep into Uno, the stew simmering away.

The tension that snapped between Lilian and Katie was immediate and intense. Lilian laid down her next card and rolled her shoulders, hyper aware of Katie's progress through the room.

Patrick laid a card down and looked over at Lilian expectantly. "How do ya like them apples?"

Lilian looked down at the pile and scowled, "Damn it." she playfully glowered at her dad and began pulling from the draw pile.

"Language, you two." Marie gently scolded, passing through to kiss Patrick on the head.

"How was your outing, my dear?" Patrick asked, waiting for Lilian to play her card.

Lilian kept pulling cards as Marie regaled them with this year's Black Friday shopping adventure. Finally, a playable card came up and Lilian laid it down. Patrick smirked and laid down another card, down to five in his hand. Lilian shuffled her own twenty cards and sighed. Her four win streak was clearly in danger.

Katie walked back into the room and sat on the couch, almost right behind Lilian, in the same place they'd made out last night. She was so close Lilian could smell her, like a memory of the night before brought to life. Why was she doing this? They never sat so close, choosing to avoid each other even as adults. This was not acting like nothing happened. Lilian looked over her shoulder to see Katie flipping lazily through a magazine, blushing when their eyes met.

"Your turn Lilipad." Patrick prompted.

"Dad!" Lilian whipped her head back around, her own cheeks turning pink. "You haven't called me that since I was twelve."

"Lilipad?" Katie asked, laughter in her voice.

Patrick nodded, "Lilian had this stuffed frog that she carried with her until she started school. I asked her once if she was a frog too and she explained that he was the frog and she just took him places he wanted to go."

"Aw, I think that's a very sweet story, Lilian. Nothing to be embarrassed by." Marie settled herself on the floor with Patrick and smiled at Lilian.

"Why did you stop? Calling her Lilipad, I mean." Katie asked, one of her legs bumping Lilian as she repositioned herself on the couch.

Patrick glanced at Lilian, hesitating for a second. "She asked me to stop."

Lilian nodded, swallowing the lump in her throat. "I felt like it was babyish to have a nickname like that. Silly, isnt it, how mature you can feel at twelve?"

A small crease formed between Patrick's eyebrows, but he smiled all the same. Marie laughed, unaware of the thick tension filling the room. "Oh, you should have seen Katie at twelve. She thought she was the Queen of Sheba herself."

"Not much has changed then." Lilian playfully elbowed Katie's calf, their parents giggling.

Katie laughed along but one of her feet found Lilian's thigh and nestled under it. Lilian didn't like that one bit, but couldn't do anything about Katie's foot without drawing attention to it. She tried to ignore it but Katie continued to find ways to nudge and rub her legs against Lilian so that by the time Patrick won Lilian was ready to get away.

"Good game, dad. I'm gonna go for a run, get outta the house for a bit." Lilian shuffled the cards and packed them back up.

"Alright. Just be back in time for dinner." Patrick took the card box from Lilian and got to his feet before offering Marie a hand up.

Lilian hopped up and beelined for her room where she changed from jeans and a tee into mesh athletic shorts and a sports bra. She was tucking her phone into her bra when a knock caught her attention. Katie was in the doorway, dressed in running leggings and a tank top with running shoes on. "Mind some company?"

Five minutes later they were stretching on the driveway. Lilian was trying to stay calm and collected but Katie was pissing her off. They had agreed to act like nothing had changed and here she was doing the opposite of that. Their parents were bound to notice and that would make them question why Lilian and Katie were suddenly so chummy. Lilian watched Katie twist her torso, feet spread wide. "You ready?"

"I think so." Katie looked up and down the street. "Which way do you want to start?"

"I go to the east until I hit the corner, then zigzag through the streets behind mom and dad's. Then I run along the canal until I hit where it crosses a major street and come back. Think you can keep up?" Lilian asked, sticking an earbud in her ear.

"We're about to find out." Katie shook her arms out and jogged to the end of the driveway. "Lead on."

Lilian ran. She tried to funnel her frustration, her confusion, lust, fear, and anxiety into pushing her body. She didn't stop until she came to the canal wash out and remembered Katie. Spinning around Lilian looked back the way she'd come and spotted Katie limping along, clutching her side. "Shit. Fucking noob."

Lilian jogged to meet Katie, and guide her to a good place to sit and breath. "Sit and breathe. No, don't pant like a dog. Control it. Deep in and slow out." Lilian demonstrated and waited for Katie to match her breathing.

"I'm fine. Just out of shape." Katie explained once she had her breathing under control.

"We'll skip the full route. I know a shortcut we can walk once you're ready." Lilian paced and waited, her body primed for more action. She dropped to the ground and began doing push ups just to keep her heart rate up.

A whimper from Katie brought Lilian to her feet, worried about muscle cramps. Katie's expression said she was in pain. "What's wrong? What hurts?"

Katie rushed Lilian, a hand on Lilian's shoulder and the back of her neck bringing their mouths to the same height for a shamelessly hungry kiss. Lilian had no time to register this and instead pulled Katie closer in an attempt to catch her. When her brain caught up with what was happening Lilian broke their kiss and pushed Katie back. "What the fuck, Katie!"

"I can't do this. I'm sorry. I can't pretend, I can't forget. It all just keeps replaying in my head. I can't stop. I thought I could fake it for another day but I can't. Please, please, just one more time. Lilian, I'm begging you." Katie reached for Lilian again, but Lilian took a step back.

"Jesus, what's wrong with you? We agreed, Katie, to act like nothing happened." Lilian touched her lip, the stinging explained by the dab of blood on her finger. "You bit me."

"I know, I know. I just, I can't forget. I can't pretend that nothing has changed because everything did." Katie raked her fingers through her hair and cut Lilian off. "I haven't been with anyone in three years. Three years, Lilian. I haven't wanted anyone, I haven't needed anyone and all that vanished like smoke the second I saw you. I don't understand it and I can't control it."

"Continuing to fuck isn't going to help!" Lilian shouted, tearing her earbud from her ear in anger.

"Do you think I don't know that?" Katie shouted back, hands balled into fists. "Logically, I understand we can't do it again, and I understand how badly we fucked up, and how important acting normal is, and that Mom and Dad would freak out if they knew. I keep telling myself I can keep it together but then I see you and it's like I can't remember what's at stake. I just get so...so...oh never mind!" Katie spun and stalked off.

Lilian watched her go, angry and confused beyond belief. "We can't talk about it if you walk away." she called after Katie.

Katie turned and flipped Lilian the bird before running in the general direction of home. Lilian growled and turned away to run her original route, hoping that the distance would help.

When Lilian made it home she had enough time to shower before dinner, which was quiet and strained since neither she nor Katie responded to their folks attempts at conversation. Lilian retreated to her room after the meal, forcing herself into isolation as another way to avoid Katie.

The strain bled into the following day, and when Patrick pulled Lilian aside to ask about it, she was able to shrug it off and pretend it's root was bad history.

"Marie always hoped the two of you would be friends. That didn't work so well when you were teenagers, and maybe that was a ridiculous thing for us to ask of you. But you're adults now, Lilian. It would mean the world to Marie and me if you girls could bury the hatchet and make peace." Patrick hugged Lilian and kissed her temple. "I love you, Lilipad. I wish you'd visit more, but I understood work and the pressures it brings. Just don't forget Christmas. And don't forget that you're allowed to have some happiness. Maybe next time you come over you'll have a pretty girl to introduce to us. Eh?"

"Jesus, Dad. I thought dads were supposed to be against their daughters dating and bringing someone home." Lilian laughed, resting her head on his shoulder.

"That only applies when that someone is disreputable and likely to corrupt my baby's innocence." Patrick grinned down at her.

"Well at least you didn't have to threaten any boys on my behalf." Lilian sighed. She'd gone through high school with her head down, too alarmed by her own interest in girls to risk dating anyone, boy or girl.

"Women can be disreputable too. And a woman can still break your heart."

Lilian looked up at Patrick, "Why didn't you tell the truth about my nickname? I asked you to stop because you told me Mr. Hoppy came from my mother and the nickname felt too connected to that silly frog."

"I didn't really lie. You did ask me to stop. I just left out the minor heartache I caused by sharing the truth, one that I incorrectly assumed wouldn't hurt to reveal." Patrick rubbed one large hand over Lilian's back and looked her over. "You sure you're okay, Lilian?"

"Yeah. My head is just somewhere else, like the stack of papers on my desk that has no doubt quadrupled while I've been gone." Lilian smiled up at Patrick when he stood to go find Marie and begin lunch.

Katie slipped outside seconds after Patrick went inside. Lilian felt her arrival, the tension thick in the air like before a rainstorm. Lilian braced for another argument or proposition but Katie walked to the end of the deck and lit a cigarette with shaking fingers. Lilian opened her mouth to comment on it, then thought better of poking at Katie. She stood and followed her dad inside.

The rest of the day passed quickly, but with no less awkwardness between the step-sisters. Lilian was relieved when it was time to go to bed. Her bags were packed and her clothes for the morning set out. She fell asleep anxious for the morning, music playing softly in one earbud.

*****

Lilian kept her promise and took time off work to spend Christmas with her parents. Her boss seemed happy to see her taking another break, asking if she wanted more than the four days she'd requested. Lilian supposed she should take the hint and work from home more often, if her constant presence was making management worry about her.

The drive was uneventful, Lilian listening to Christmas tunes to boost her holiday spirits. Christmas was a fun time of year, with lots of good memories and traditions. She already had an ugly sweater and an elf hat with felt ears to wear on Christmas day. She also had a bottle each of brandy, southern comfort, and peppermint schnapps for eggnog and hot chocolate purposes.

Rolling down her parent's street Lilian spotted the house and the small green sedan already parked in the driveway. Some of Lilian's cheer slipped at the thought of Katie being home for the holidays too. Lilian exhaled a resigned puff of air and parked next to Katie's car. There wasn't any reason why they couldn't get along. Sleeping together once didn't have to ruin everything.

An hour later, Lilian decided she needed to rethink things. Katie was avoiding being left alone with her, almost to the point of being rude. While their parents seemed oblivious, Lilian noticed and wasn't at all sure how to deal with it. If she called Katie out on her behavior that was sure to ramp up the tension. Her best bet was to leave it be and pretend she didn't notice.

Pretending not to notice worked until they were making sugar cookies with Marie while Patrick ran some last minute errands. The phone rang while they were switching a pan of baked cookies for an unbaked sheet. Marie checked the caller ID and clicked her tongue.

"Girls, I've got to take this. I'll try to keep it short so we can decorate together." Marie gave them an apologetic smile unclipping an earring before answering the phone. "Patricia! Merry Christmas! Yes, the girls are home this year." Marie left the kitchen and her voice grew more faint as she walked deeper into the house.

Now that they were alone Katie was silent and Lilian could feel her unease like a physical touch. Things had felt okay with Marie acting as a buffer, Katie chatting and laughing like normal but without her it was strained. Lilian didn't have the first clue how to calmly continue their conversation. She cleared her throat quietly, the sound loud on the quiet kitchen, Katie jumping at the noise.

"You wanna cut out a new bunch while I finish the dishes?" Lilian asked, the last cookie sliding safely onto a cooling rack.

"I'm fine with whichever." Katie mumbled, not turning from where she was fiddling with her phone.

Lilian blew out her breath and ran a hand through her hair. "Katie, will you stop acting like I'm going to slap you for looking in my direction?"

Katie turned her head enough to show she was listening. "I'll cut the cookies." She set her phone down and picked through the cookie cutters.

"Great. I'll knock these out and help when I'm done." Lilian took what she could get and pushing the sleeves of her henley up, stuck her hand into the hot, soapy water to find the sponge.

More silence filled the kitchen as they worked. Finally the oven beeped it's minute warning. "Want me to get those?" Lilian asked, shaking water from her hands as she drained the sink, dishes washed and set in the strainer to drip dry.

"Uh...yeah, uh...yeah if you could get those." Katie stumbled, clattering the cookie cutters on the countertop in what seemed to be a sudden flurry of activity.

Lilian gave Katie's back a confused glance, then donned the oven mitts as the oven beeped. "Oven open. Hot, hot tray. Oven closed." Lilian set the baking sheet on the waiting hot pads and inspected the cookies. "One of the stars got a bit toasty on the edge, but other than that, these are perfect. How's the next batch coming?"

"Fine. They're fine." Katie laid a candy cane cookie on the second baking sheet while Lilian carefully transferred the hot cookies to the cooling rack.