It's funny how you never mean for things to turn out the way they do, but they always seems to work out.
It had been the week from hell. Nothing seemed to be going right for me. My car broke down; my boyfriend of three years left me for his hairdresser; my boss decided to choose this week to become "Sir Gropes-A-Lot"; then to top it all off, just as I was about to shut myself away for the weekend with a pint of Ben & Jerry's, my best friend calls and says she's having a crisis. She needs me to come over to her place "right away".
I was having a hard enough time dealing with my own problems, much less hers. But, being the wonderful friend that I am, I threw my problems into the freezer with Ben & Jerry and left to conquer hers.
Mary had been my best friend for what seemed like forever. We had known each other since kindergarten. However, we hadn't truly become friends until high school, when I accidentally broke her boyfriend's nose with my history book. Hey, it's not like I meant to do it or anything. After his hospital visit, we all found it to be quite funny. Ever since that day, she and I have shared almost everything. Her secrets were mine; mine were hers. I helped her with her problems; she helped me with mine. She never balked when I needed her help so I couldn't do that to her. She had sounded so distraught over the phone. I grabbed my "take anywhere" backpack and jumped in the car. Her house was only a mile or so from mine. I could have walked the short distance, but as pitiful as she sounded I didn't want to take any longer than necessary.
She was waiting at the door for me. I had never seen her look so bad. Her eyes were swollen from crying and her hair was a mess. She threw herself into my arms and started bawling and babbling incoherently.
I felt the best thing for me to do was get her inside and calm her down. "Mary, honey let's go inside." I guided her through the door and into the living room.
Once I managed to get her inside, I noticed that not only was she a mess, but so was her house. I wasn't sure what was going on, but I knew it couldn't be good. Mary was always a bit of a neat freak; especially compared to me.
I sat her down on the couch and went in search of something strong to drink. Neither she nor I were regular drinkers, but we each kept an emergency bottle hidden in the cupboards. I mixed us both a drink, being sure to add a tad more to hers. She really looked like she needed it.
Setting our glasses on the coffee table, I plopped on the couch and snuggled in close to her. "Ok sweetie, tell me everything." I said, taking her into my arms.
"It was awful! Do you remember me telling you about Barbara? You know, the chick with the big boobs from work? The one who wears all the really low cut tops and then dangles them in front of the guys? Well, this morning I walked into my boss' office to ask him about this case I'm working on and you won't believe this…He had her down on her knees in front of his desk and he was shoving his dick down her throat! He had his back arched and his hands were pushing her head down as hard as he could. It was like watching a train wreck! I couldn't look away! I actually stood there in shock and stared for a few seconds. I hate to admit it, but it
almost
turned me on. I mean, maybe if it wasn't my horrible boss and maybe if it wasn't
her
then it might have. To make things worse, as if it couldn't get worse, he turns and faces me! He smiled in that slimy way of his and said '
This
is how you become a partner, Mary. You might want to take notes.' As if! Then he pulls out of her and spewed his cum all in her face. She turned to me smiling and licked it from around her mouth! I started gagging and ran out of the room. All the while I could hear their laughter. I swear I am never going back to that place! I don't care if I have to get a job flipping burgers. There is no way I can look at those two ever again!"
She finished her story, half-draped over me weeping openly. At first, I wasn't quite sure what to say. She was obviously traumatized. I briefly thought about my slimy boss and how I would feel to see him in that position. I almost gagged too.
I petted her dark curly head, crooning to her as you would a child. After a few minutes, I came up with a brilliant idea.
"Hey, Mar, I have an idea." I forced her head up, smiling at her with my most evil smile.
"No. Hell no. Uh-uh. No way woman! I know what that smile means. It means that someone (quite possibly me) will suffer and know unbearable pain." She bounced up off of the couch in one fluid motion, leaving me to fall unceremoniously on my face. "You know what happens when you get these ideas! Lucy and Ethel didn't get into this much trouble!"
"Ah come on Mar! Just hear me out ok? I don't want to see you flipping burgers. God, I can smell the grease on your clothes now! Do you really want that? Do you want to work with "Junior McBurger" lusting after you over the fry vat and whacking off in the bathroom to fantasies of you in your greasy uniform?" (At this she whimpered somewhat miserably) "You know you don't. So just hear me out. We don't actually have to go through with it if you consider it a horrible idea."
"Fine, but first, give me my drink. I have a feeling I'm going to need it. Better yet, just go get the bottle."
I laughed and handed her the drink. "Here let's start with this. Then we'll see if the other is necessary. Come sit down, relax and let me regale you with my stupendous idea."
"Have you ever noticed how close the words "stupendous and stupid" are?" She said grinning at me.
"Ha-ha very funny" I replied sarcastically "Just sit down, hush, and listen."
"Ok, here's the plan. You can't go into work being cowed by the two of them. You have to take total control over the situation. You have to be the one with the power. Otherwise they are just going to use it against you at every opportunity. We are going to go through your closet and find your sexiest power suit: shortest skirt, tightest bust… the works. We're going to dress you up so that you can dress them down. He wouldn't have said that unless he wanted you in her position. Use that against him. As for her, we'll just go with pity. Make her feel ashamed of herself. Keep calling her your "poor dear" and stuff like that. When you go into work tomorrow, I want you to make sure you find every opportunity to bend over in front of him. Show him your ass and your boobs every chance you get. Do it inconspicuously. Don't let him know you are doing it on purpose. Then towards the end of the day, right before he goes home, walk into his office, ask him to have a seat if he's standing, and then plant one of your pumps firmly into the center of his chest. If it helps, you can sit on his desk, but it's better if you can stand. Then tell him in no uncertain terms- you can use your lawyer speak if necessary-, that there was no way you were giving him head. Tell him his dick was too small and that you really should have known considering the car he drives. Tell him that you'd rather be a peon, than be pissed on. Then, reach over, pat him on the cheek and walk out with your head high." I took a deep breath, proud that I had gotten all of that out without her saying one word.
I should have looked a bit closer at her during my explanation. She was sitting on the couch, mouth wide open, and a look of utter shock on her face.
