Volunteer Wor

The next couple of days that I came, were tense. We didn't really talk much, or even really look at each other, or at least she wouldn't look at me. I on the other hand would watch her out of the corner of my eye. I would smile every time her laughter filled the air, and think about that day. I knew there was something between us, even if she wouldn't admit it. I couldn't figure out why she suddenly pulled back, emotionally. I thought we'd had a pretty good friendship going, and after all, we had agreed that night didn't mean anything. Fortunately my questions would be answered that weekend.

I was at a restaurant, waiting for a couple of friends to show up, when Ethel walked in. She didn't see me as she was seated. She ordered a couple of drinks, so I knew she was meeting someone else. I decided to take a chance and go talk to her. I got up and made my way over to her table. Gently, I touched her shoulder and whispered in her ear, "Waiting for someone?"

She jumped at the sound of my voice and her face turned red. Immediately I felt bad. "I'm sorry," I said. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"Oh no, it's not that. I just didn't think anybody I knew would ever eat here. And no, I'm not waiting for someone, I'm just leaving." I just looked at her and smiled.

Gently I said "Hon, I've been here for the last 10 min. I saw you come in. Who is she?"

She laughed and said, "I have no idea what you're talking about."

I smile again. "Come on now. You can be honest with me. How long have you and she been dating?"

She looks around fearfully. "Shh! Keep your voice down! And how did you know?"

I again laugh loudly. "Oh sweetie. You're too funny. Have you not seen me stare at you, look at you out of the corner of my eyes, they way you pulled back from that embrace, and the way you used gender neutral pronouns when talking to me about the person you're dating? The list goes on and on! I know the signs. I use them myself!" I watch her reaction carefully as I reveal this to her.

At first she just stares at me as my words sank in. "So, you'r--like--too?" was all she could get out.

I decided to help her out and said, "Yes. I'm---like--gay, too." I can visibly see her deflate like a balloon as her shoulders slump and she looks down at the table. "Please don't tell anyone at school. I don't know what I'd do if word to get around."

I looked at her and quietly said "I would never tell anyone or do anything to betray your trust."

Suddenly I saw this gorgeous redhead walking our way, and Ethel sees her too. Her face breaks into a huge grin and I know this is "her." Immediately I feeling a rush of blood course through my veins and I acknowledge it as being jealous. Quickly I push that thought aside. As the redhead walks up to the table, I see her eyes shifting from me to Ethel. Ethel sees it too, and quickly jumps up to introduce us.

"Nelly, this is Alex, and vice versa." I politely stick out my hand to shake hers, and she rudely pushes it aside.

"Who the fuck are you?" she demands. Inwardly, I cringe. While I'm not against swearing and cussing (and am known to have a "potty-mouth" of my own from time to time), we are however in a family restaurant with little kids around. I also hate making scenes in public.

Quickly Ethel jumps in before things can escalate and says, "Nelly is the volunteer worker I am so blessed to have in at school. I know I've told you about her."

"Oh yeah!" Alex says. "So this is the "volunteer" you won't shut up about. So tell me, what else are you "volunteering" to do to my girl, huh?"

"Alex!" cries Ethel. "It's not like that! She helps me in my classroom and that's it! There's nothing going on between us!"

During all of this time, I feel my face getting hot, not because I'm nervous, but because I'm thinking, "God, If Alex only knew what my thoughts are about Ethel. She'd kill me for sure!"

"Look," I said, "it's been real, but I have to get going. I've got a long day tomorrow, and a long drive back home. Ethel, I'll see you tomorrow in school." And with that I quickly leave before Alex can say anything else derogatory about me.

As I get in my car, I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes, for I now know I have no chance in hell of ever being with Ethel, if that's the kind of girl she dates. I start driving back home, but eventually have to stop alongside the road for my tears are coming too strongly now to see the road. Eventually, my tears dry up, and I get a grip, realizing I never had a chance anyway, and from now on, I will see her as nothing more than a colleague.